Post by "Sick" Billy Kryenik on Feb 4, 2006 21:18:09 GMT -5
Edmonton Alberta is +1 on February 4th 2006. Partial clouds have been rolling over the city all day, threatening rain or freezing rain over the next 24 hours. Individual people and groups of people are strolling down 61st St, heading to unknown locations. Through a sudden cluster of people, we see them all turn their head backwards as they continue to walk forward. The camera man catches they’re movement as you see Billy Kryenik walking slowly, with a leash in hand, he is looking back as well, talking to what appears to be himself. The small amount of people on hand are chuckling to themselves, as Billy hides his eyes and pretends to not hear it. He looks forward, spotting the camera. He snaps his fingers in an act of aggression and looks backwards, the leash dragging behind him. The camera man walks closer and closer, finally reaching within 10 feet of Billy. The people are almost mimicking Billy, slowing their pace to just a few feet in front of him.
Billy: Boy, I sure have attracted a lot of attention. What are you all looking at? Get a job!
Man #1: Wow look at that honey.
The man nudges his wife who was watching a brand Pontiac G6 pass, she glances back and her eyes grow large.
Woman #1: Remarkable!
Billy: We’re remarkable, buddy. Did you hear that? I knew I shouldn’t have taken you with me. If I knew recognition would come along with you, I’d have left you in the mosquito box.
Finally out of all the legs, and waving pants, the little white rabbit hops behind Billy on a harness and leash. Billy looks in front of him.
Man #2: Isn’t that animal cruelty?
Billy: under his breath I’ll animal cruelty you, you son of a bitch…
Woman #2: He’s so cute!!
Billy: Maybe he is a she, you (BLEEP)ing lesbian.
Woman #2: GASP Why I never..
Billy: Yeah and I’m glad I popped your cheery, so leave me the frick alone.
he shakes his head in disgust
Billy: (BLEEP)! Leave me the (BLEEP) alone.. not FRICK!! god damn it I need to stop saying that.
The women gives him an awkward glance, and has no idea what he’s talking about. Billy just shakes his head and continues his slow walk.
Billy: Jesus you’re slow rabbit.
Man #3: Why don’t you just pick the rabbit up?
Billy: Was I talking to you? Obviously it’s the rabbits choice.
Man #3: How do you know what he WANTS?
Billy: He tells me what he wants, you dope. Heh Great White Hope against the Great Black Dope. Heheh.
Man #3: What?
Billy: Never you mind, what. Just keep walking buddy.
Billy looks down at the rabbit
Billy: Fine, do you want me to pick you up rabbit?
Billy lowers his head to the rabbit. He cups his ear to hear better.
Billy: What? You do? Why didn’t you just say that to begin with? PAUSE What do you mean you didn’t want to hurt my feelings? PAUSE Because you knew I wanted to use the new harness leash? PAUSE My god, rabbit. You’re so empathetic… little piss ant.
Billy reaches down and scoops the rabbit up into his arms. He cradles it and starts to walk faster, away from the people.
Billy: This is the last time I bring you out with me, pesky rabbit. Where the (BLEEP) is 111th st.? PAUSE Of course you don’t know. Good for nothing, unless your telling me how to live.
Billy passes a sign for Dr. Sue Frost, Psychologist. The rabbit looks at the sign and then back to Billy.
Billy: sigh Shut up. Even before you say it… You know rabbit, why don’t you ever give me advice on my matches? Oh, 111st…
Billy turns left down 111 st.
Billy: Yeah, so why no advice on my opponents? You seem to know me pretty well, why not Static, or The Dudes or D-X? You never tell me to irish whip, or to stab with a fork, or to drop toe hold. It’s always some garbage about how I have problems. I don’t really see the problems I am.. so I like to skin a mother (BLEEP)er now and then, what’s the big deal. PAUSE What? I talk to a rabbit? So? You talked to me first, and I’m the one with problems? Give me a break.
But anyway, last Monday night, we took out The Crimes and The Dudes after their match, and now we have to fight Static and The Dudes. All three of the Doomriders for the very first time in NAPW. PAUSE Yeah I know I already told you this, I’m just repeating myself to get to the point I’m trying to make here. Sheesh. So anyway, Rex ran away to Steelside or something, probably the best choice for him, since bald heads give me the creeps. They just make me want to jab their whole head with thumbtacks. I think it’d look pretty good on him, what do you think? PAUSE You think he’d look like an Egyptian Queen? Yeah me too. (BLEEP)ing fairy. Either way he’s a (BLEEP), for backing out of the match. Maybe later on in the week I can drive to his house, and sleep with his wife or something. Stick the knife in really deep, if you know what I’m saying. PAUSE MR. RABBIT! You sick little bastard. You have a filthy mind. Hehehe.
Now Static, as you know rabbit, is larger then life. He’s all of 5’6 and he thinks he’s 10’46. Maybe he’s got a big cock or something, either way the kids got to much attitude. He doesn’t know what larger then life if, rabbit. I’ll tell you what’s larger then life, this (BLEEP)ing pain my head from hearing the short coming yammering from all three of those (BLEEP)s. One second they’re heel, the next they’re face. Seriously, stick to a side. I understanding switching teams is pretty easy these days because the distinction between man and women has become obsolete, but this is pathetic. PAUSE What do you mean, what do I mean? All Faces are homosexual… didn’t you know that? PAUSE Yes they are. Rabbit I’ve wrestled, and bled and (BLEEP)ed with the best of them, and a lot of them had a big thick hard on during most of it. Kind of gave me the creeps, but hey, it’s a living. Either way, The Crimes switch teams and are now batting with the Dudes.
PAUSE Yeah that is some sick shit, rabbit. I stay heel, not for the violence and hatred, but more for the fear of my ass. I mean, every once and a while I’ll feed it to Illusion… if you know what I mean, but I’m not face, that’s for sure. I know Tommy’s not, man’s been heel since he was born. Shit I remember him telling me a story when he and his neighbour at the trailer park got a little drunk, and socks, and drinks and nipple clips were flying everywhere. That guy has got some kinky thoughts behind those thick glasses of his.
So as I was saying, Static is a midget. The Dudes on the other hand, well they’re a little to Rob Van Dam for my liking. The weak elbow shots and “chill” comments make me want to shit myself. They’re like “Mr. Deathrow, chill, relax man, we’re just trying to get a piece” and that’s just a little too intense for me. PAUSE Weird how relaxation is intense to me. Either way, their (BLEEP)ing weirdo’s. They are the kind of guys that deserve to fight the Doomriders. Anyone who will cut a promo on live television and talk about their open relationship with the Crimes, deserves the beating we’ll give them. I mean all I hear when they talk are Blah Blah Blah We’re (BLEEP)ing Idiots Blah Blah. I can’t wait until Monday!
Hey Look RABBIT! It’s Sadies Pet Shop! We’re here!
Billy stops in front of a small pet store with the sign “Sadies Pet Shop”. Billy drops the rabbit onto the ground and walks up the steps. The rabbit tries to stay put but Billy drags him up the stairs and goes into the door. There is a woman in a white shirt, with a red name tag that says “Jessica”. She is about 16 years old, with short black hair, and around 5’4 in height
Jessica: Hello!
Billy: Yeah, Hi. Look I need some food for this little scum bag.
Jessica; Ah he’s so cute!
Billy: Cut the shit lady, give me kibbles!
Jessica: Ok! Ok! Third isle to the left!
Billy: Someone’s a tad perky today. Christ lady, shoot some heroin or something..
Jessica: What?
Billy: Oh I was telling my rabbit that he needs to lay off of the heroin.
Jessica: Ok…
Billy: We all have problems shrugs
Billy walks down the third isle, he drags his hand along the shelf, knocking things down. Jessica peeps her head down the isle, and looks at all of the items that have been put on the floor.
Jessica: Ah, sir?
Billy: Yeah?
Jessica: I’m going to have to ask you to leave.
Billy: Oh no your not. I didn’t walk all the way down here to get kicked out.
Jessica: Sir, if you don’t leave right now I’ll call the police.
Billy: Just let me grab these kibbles and I’ll be gone. I have Rex waiting for me in the car outside.
Jessica: Rex?
Billy: Yeah, you know, The Crimes. I’m Static and my partner is Rex. We wrestle for NAPW.
Jessica: That’s all the information I need..
Jessica turns back and walks to the desk, she picks up the phone and dials a number. The camera pans back to Billy Kryenik who has found the rabbit kibbles.
Billy: Meaty, or Veggie? I’ve never seen a rabbit eat a steak, so your going to go with the veggie flavoured. PAUSE You shut up rabbit. You don’t know what steak tastes like. PAUSE You had steak at your cousins barbeque? You’re a rabbit! You are the barbeque for some families!
Jessica: Sir, the Police are on their way.
Billy: That’s ok, I was just leaving. I have to run though, so you tell those cops that my names Static and I’ll gladly talk to them down at the NAPW arena. PAUSE Shhh, rabbit.. shut up..
Billy walks out of the store, and doesn’t pay for the item. The girl just watches him as he shuts the door quickly and briskly walks down the street with the rabbit in his hand. Camera out
Billy: Boy, I sure have attracted a lot of attention. What are you all looking at? Get a job!
Man #1: Wow look at that honey.
The man nudges his wife who was watching a brand Pontiac G6 pass, she glances back and her eyes grow large.
Woman #1: Remarkable!
Billy: We’re remarkable, buddy. Did you hear that? I knew I shouldn’t have taken you with me. If I knew recognition would come along with you, I’d have left you in the mosquito box.
Finally out of all the legs, and waving pants, the little white rabbit hops behind Billy on a harness and leash. Billy looks in front of him.
Man #2: Isn’t that animal cruelty?
Billy: under his breath I’ll animal cruelty you, you son of a bitch…
Woman #2: He’s so cute!!
Billy: Maybe he is a she, you (BLEEP)ing lesbian.
Woman #2: GASP Why I never..
Billy: Yeah and I’m glad I popped your cheery, so leave me the frick alone.
he shakes his head in disgust
Billy: (BLEEP)! Leave me the (BLEEP) alone.. not FRICK!! god damn it I need to stop saying that.
The women gives him an awkward glance, and has no idea what he’s talking about. Billy just shakes his head and continues his slow walk.
Billy: Jesus you’re slow rabbit.
Man #3: Why don’t you just pick the rabbit up?
Billy: Was I talking to you? Obviously it’s the rabbits choice.
Man #3: How do you know what he WANTS?
Billy: He tells me what he wants, you dope. Heh Great White Hope against the Great Black Dope. Heheh.
Man #3: What?
Billy: Never you mind, what. Just keep walking buddy.
Billy looks down at the rabbit
Billy: Fine, do you want me to pick you up rabbit?
Billy lowers his head to the rabbit. He cups his ear to hear better.
Billy: What? You do? Why didn’t you just say that to begin with? PAUSE What do you mean you didn’t want to hurt my feelings? PAUSE Because you knew I wanted to use the new harness leash? PAUSE My god, rabbit. You’re so empathetic… little piss ant.
Billy reaches down and scoops the rabbit up into his arms. He cradles it and starts to walk faster, away from the people.
Billy: This is the last time I bring you out with me, pesky rabbit. Where the (BLEEP) is 111th st.? PAUSE Of course you don’t know. Good for nothing, unless your telling me how to live.
Billy passes a sign for Dr. Sue Frost, Psychologist. The rabbit looks at the sign and then back to Billy.
Billy: sigh Shut up. Even before you say it… You know rabbit, why don’t you ever give me advice on my matches? Oh, 111st…
Billy turns left down 111 st.
Billy: Yeah, so why no advice on my opponents? You seem to know me pretty well, why not Static, or The Dudes or D-X? You never tell me to irish whip, or to stab with a fork, or to drop toe hold. It’s always some garbage about how I have problems. I don’t really see the problems I am.. so I like to skin a mother (BLEEP)er now and then, what’s the big deal. PAUSE What? I talk to a rabbit? So? You talked to me first, and I’m the one with problems? Give me a break.
But anyway, last Monday night, we took out The Crimes and The Dudes after their match, and now we have to fight Static and The Dudes. All three of the Doomriders for the very first time in NAPW. PAUSE Yeah I know I already told you this, I’m just repeating myself to get to the point I’m trying to make here. Sheesh. So anyway, Rex ran away to Steelside or something, probably the best choice for him, since bald heads give me the creeps. They just make me want to jab their whole head with thumbtacks. I think it’d look pretty good on him, what do you think? PAUSE You think he’d look like an Egyptian Queen? Yeah me too. (BLEEP)ing fairy. Either way he’s a (BLEEP), for backing out of the match. Maybe later on in the week I can drive to his house, and sleep with his wife or something. Stick the knife in really deep, if you know what I’m saying. PAUSE MR. RABBIT! You sick little bastard. You have a filthy mind. Hehehe.
Now Static, as you know rabbit, is larger then life. He’s all of 5’6 and he thinks he’s 10’46. Maybe he’s got a big cock or something, either way the kids got to much attitude. He doesn’t know what larger then life if, rabbit. I’ll tell you what’s larger then life, this (BLEEP)ing pain my head from hearing the short coming yammering from all three of those (BLEEP)s. One second they’re heel, the next they’re face. Seriously, stick to a side. I understanding switching teams is pretty easy these days because the distinction between man and women has become obsolete, but this is pathetic. PAUSE What do you mean, what do I mean? All Faces are homosexual… didn’t you know that? PAUSE Yes they are. Rabbit I’ve wrestled, and bled and (BLEEP)ed with the best of them, and a lot of them had a big thick hard on during most of it. Kind of gave me the creeps, but hey, it’s a living. Either way, The Crimes switch teams and are now batting with the Dudes.
PAUSE Yeah that is some sick shit, rabbit. I stay heel, not for the violence and hatred, but more for the fear of my ass. I mean, every once and a while I’ll feed it to Illusion… if you know what I mean, but I’m not face, that’s for sure. I know Tommy’s not, man’s been heel since he was born. Shit I remember him telling me a story when he and his neighbour at the trailer park got a little drunk, and socks, and drinks and nipple clips were flying everywhere. That guy has got some kinky thoughts behind those thick glasses of his.
So as I was saying, Static is a midget. The Dudes on the other hand, well they’re a little to Rob Van Dam for my liking. The weak elbow shots and “chill” comments make me want to shit myself. They’re like “Mr. Deathrow, chill, relax man, we’re just trying to get a piece” and that’s just a little too intense for me. PAUSE Weird how relaxation is intense to me. Either way, their (BLEEP)ing weirdo’s. They are the kind of guys that deserve to fight the Doomriders. Anyone who will cut a promo on live television and talk about their open relationship with the Crimes, deserves the beating we’ll give them. I mean all I hear when they talk are Blah Blah Blah We’re (BLEEP)ing Idiots Blah Blah. I can’t wait until Monday!
Hey Look RABBIT! It’s Sadies Pet Shop! We’re here!
Billy stops in front of a small pet store with the sign “Sadies Pet Shop”. Billy drops the rabbit onto the ground and walks up the steps. The rabbit tries to stay put but Billy drags him up the stairs and goes into the door. There is a woman in a white shirt, with a red name tag that says “Jessica”. She is about 16 years old, with short black hair, and around 5’4 in height
Jessica: Hello!
Billy: Yeah, Hi. Look I need some food for this little scum bag.
Jessica; Ah he’s so cute!
Billy: Cut the shit lady, give me kibbles!
Jessica: Ok! Ok! Third isle to the left!
Billy: Someone’s a tad perky today. Christ lady, shoot some heroin or something..
Jessica: What?
Billy: Oh I was telling my rabbit that he needs to lay off of the heroin.
Jessica: Ok…
Billy: We all have problems shrugs
Billy walks down the third isle, he drags his hand along the shelf, knocking things down. Jessica peeps her head down the isle, and looks at all of the items that have been put on the floor.
Jessica: Ah, sir?
Billy: Yeah?
Jessica: I’m going to have to ask you to leave.
Billy: Oh no your not. I didn’t walk all the way down here to get kicked out.
Jessica: Sir, if you don’t leave right now I’ll call the police.
Billy: Just let me grab these kibbles and I’ll be gone. I have Rex waiting for me in the car outside.
Jessica: Rex?
Billy: Yeah, you know, The Crimes. I’m Static and my partner is Rex. We wrestle for NAPW.
Jessica: That’s all the information I need..
Jessica turns back and walks to the desk, she picks up the phone and dials a number. The camera pans back to Billy Kryenik who has found the rabbit kibbles.
Billy: Meaty, or Veggie? I’ve never seen a rabbit eat a steak, so your going to go with the veggie flavoured. PAUSE You shut up rabbit. You don’t know what steak tastes like. PAUSE You had steak at your cousins barbeque? You’re a rabbit! You are the barbeque for some families!
Jessica: Sir, the Police are on their way.
Billy: That’s ok, I was just leaving. I have to run though, so you tell those cops that my names Static and I’ll gladly talk to them down at the NAPW arena. PAUSE Shhh, rabbit.. shut up..
Billy walks out of the store, and doesn’t pay for the item. The girl just watches him as he shuts the door quickly and briskly walks down the street with the rabbit in his hand. Camera out