Post by Chris Casino on Feb 3, 2006 13:54:37 GMT -5
- Alberta, Canada -
We open up on the privately owned gym of former NAPW Champion Chris Casino, and find him hard at work. Talking on his cell phone. As he walks through the gym we can see in the background several people pushing their bodies to the limit on the state of the art equipment that's available to them. Casino is dressed in a dark Hugo Boss suit and he quickly climbs up a flight of stairs to an office that overlooks the gym. Once inside the office Casino hangs up his phone and takes a seat behind a large mahogany desk. Casino props his feet up on his desk and smirks.
Casino: So the brackets to the Canadian Cup have been announced and who should I face in the first round? Lobo. Easily one of the most forgettable and insignificant people on the NAPW roster. Hell, Josh Reynolds has more charisma than Lobo. Now I have to be brutally honest here. I don't know a damn thing about Lobo. And I've even teamed with the guy! Now I've heard he's some sort of Olympic Medal winner but aside from that I'm clueless. I can only assume that the Olympics in which he participated in were of the "special" variety.
As I look at my first round opponent I find it hard for myself to get hyped up. I mean, I'm only facing Lobo. He's been here since this place opened and has accomplished less than J.C. Cook has. Which is scary in itself. Lobo, I could care less that you won some medals in an amateur sport. Because I only I deal with professional athletes around here. You say people will remember your name? Damn right they will. They'll say "Lobo? Oh yeah, he was the guy who got his ass kicked in the first round of the Canadian Cup." That's the only way people are going to remember you Lobo. As a first class loser.
Why should I fear you Lobo? Why should I even break a sweat training for your sorry ass? Sure you're bigger than me, but I've beat big men before. Sure you smell like a goat, but you won't be in the ring long enough for me to worry about that. Lobo, the one time we teamed together it was no secret that it was (A) you're biggest win in your pathetic career and (B) I carried the team to victory. All you did was stand there like some sort of wax dummy. You came into this Tournament with dreams of money, fame and a guaranteed title shot. However, you're gonna walk out with nothing but another mark in your lose column.
Casino glances at his desk where is cell phone is currently vibrating. It hobbles first one way across the desk, then another before it stops.
Casino: That no doubt would be Terry Brandon. A man torn in his allegiance. I wonder if it was mere fate or NAPW management's idea of fun to pit two men who are represent by the same man against each other? On one hand Terry has a proven winner in me. On the other he has a lemon with you. A washed up amateur whose been on his back more times than Paris Hilton. Who do you think Terry will be rooting for Lobo? Certainly not you. You're out of your league here Lobo.
But, I do feel a bit of pity for you. You're obviously an idiot and didn't know what you were getting into when you signed up for this Tournament. So tell you what. You stay home, and spare yourself the humiliation of losing again, and I'll pay you for your time missed. I figure I know what you're worth.
Casino reaches into his inside coat pocket and pulls out a $5 bill. He shows it to the camera and lays it on the desk for all to see.
Casino: This might seem a little extravagant for you but I'm generous. You stay home, spare the good folks at home the embarrassment of having to watch another one of their countrymen lose to me...And you get paid. It's a no lose situation. However, should you decide to make an appearance, remember this. We might be managed by the same man but when it comes to winning this tournament, there isn't a soul alive whose gonna stop me. Not you, nor anyone else.
Casino holds up the $5 bill.
Casino: Think about it chump.
Suddenly the door to the office flies open and Casino jumps behind his desk. The money drifts to the floor. Standing in the doorway is one pissed off looking super model in Naomi Campbell. While beautiful...She has issues.
Naomi: What are you doing?
Casino: I'm taking care of some business. I told you that I...
Naomi: We were supposed to go shopping.
Casino: Yeah I didn't forget. We were supposed to meet up at one and....
Naomi: (stomping her foot and pointing to a clock hanging on the wall) It's a quarter PAST one!
Casino: Well, okay hang on. Let me get my coat and we can....
Naomi: I don't like to wait Chris.
Casino: I know.
Naomi: Waiting makes me MAD Chris!
Casino: (sighs) I know.
Naomi: Don't talk to me like I'm stupid! I'm a super model! Get your shit and let's go!
She turns and spots the camera crew. The camera man backs off.
Naomi: If you show my face on TV I'll kick your ass camera person.
She turns and stalks out of the room.
Casino: I wonder if Canada has stalking laws?
- cut to a commercial for the new "I met Naomi Campbell and the crazy bitch slapped me!" tee shirt now available on ChrisCasino.com! -
We open up on the privately owned gym of former NAPW Champion Chris Casino, and find him hard at work. Talking on his cell phone. As he walks through the gym we can see in the background several people pushing their bodies to the limit on the state of the art equipment that's available to them. Casino is dressed in a dark Hugo Boss suit and he quickly climbs up a flight of stairs to an office that overlooks the gym. Once inside the office Casino hangs up his phone and takes a seat behind a large mahogany desk. Casino props his feet up on his desk and smirks.
Casino: So the brackets to the Canadian Cup have been announced and who should I face in the first round? Lobo. Easily one of the most forgettable and insignificant people on the NAPW roster. Hell, Josh Reynolds has more charisma than Lobo. Now I have to be brutally honest here. I don't know a damn thing about Lobo. And I've even teamed with the guy! Now I've heard he's some sort of Olympic Medal winner but aside from that I'm clueless. I can only assume that the Olympics in which he participated in were of the "special" variety.
As I look at my first round opponent I find it hard for myself to get hyped up. I mean, I'm only facing Lobo. He's been here since this place opened and has accomplished less than J.C. Cook has. Which is scary in itself. Lobo, I could care less that you won some medals in an amateur sport. Because I only I deal with professional athletes around here. You say people will remember your name? Damn right they will. They'll say "Lobo? Oh yeah, he was the guy who got his ass kicked in the first round of the Canadian Cup." That's the only way people are going to remember you Lobo. As a first class loser.
Why should I fear you Lobo? Why should I even break a sweat training for your sorry ass? Sure you're bigger than me, but I've beat big men before. Sure you smell like a goat, but you won't be in the ring long enough for me to worry about that. Lobo, the one time we teamed together it was no secret that it was (A) you're biggest win in your pathetic career and (B) I carried the team to victory. All you did was stand there like some sort of wax dummy. You came into this Tournament with dreams of money, fame and a guaranteed title shot. However, you're gonna walk out with nothing but another mark in your lose column.
Casino glances at his desk where is cell phone is currently vibrating. It hobbles first one way across the desk, then another before it stops.
Casino: That no doubt would be Terry Brandon. A man torn in his allegiance. I wonder if it was mere fate or NAPW management's idea of fun to pit two men who are represent by the same man against each other? On one hand Terry has a proven winner in me. On the other he has a lemon with you. A washed up amateur whose been on his back more times than Paris Hilton. Who do you think Terry will be rooting for Lobo? Certainly not you. You're out of your league here Lobo.
But, I do feel a bit of pity for you. You're obviously an idiot and didn't know what you were getting into when you signed up for this Tournament. So tell you what. You stay home, and spare yourself the humiliation of losing again, and I'll pay you for your time missed. I figure I know what you're worth.
Casino reaches into his inside coat pocket and pulls out a $5 bill. He shows it to the camera and lays it on the desk for all to see.
Casino: This might seem a little extravagant for you but I'm generous. You stay home, spare the good folks at home the embarrassment of having to watch another one of their countrymen lose to me...And you get paid. It's a no lose situation. However, should you decide to make an appearance, remember this. We might be managed by the same man but when it comes to winning this tournament, there isn't a soul alive whose gonna stop me. Not you, nor anyone else.
Casino holds up the $5 bill.
Casino: Think about it chump.
Suddenly the door to the office flies open and Casino jumps behind his desk. The money drifts to the floor. Standing in the doorway is one pissed off looking super model in Naomi Campbell. While beautiful...She has issues.
Naomi: What are you doing?
Casino: I'm taking care of some business. I told you that I...
Naomi: We were supposed to go shopping.
Casino: Yeah I didn't forget. We were supposed to meet up at one and....
Naomi: (stomping her foot and pointing to a clock hanging on the wall) It's a quarter PAST one!
Casino: Well, okay hang on. Let me get my coat and we can....
Naomi: I don't like to wait Chris.
Casino: I know.
Naomi: Waiting makes me MAD Chris!
Casino: (sighs) I know.
Naomi: Don't talk to me like I'm stupid! I'm a super model! Get your shit and let's go!
She turns and spots the camera crew. The camera man backs off.
Naomi: If you show my face on TV I'll kick your ass camera person.
She turns and stalks out of the room.
Casino: I wonder if Canada has stalking laws?
- cut to a commercial for the new "I met Naomi Campbell and the crazy bitch slapped me!" tee shirt now available on ChrisCasino.com! -