Post by The Decapitators on Feb 1, 2006 19:05:19 GMT -5
Axe and Diamond, the Decapitators, think to themselves what if...
What if they hadn't have gone to NAPW...
What if they had won at Black Thursday...
What if they had a solid gold statue of Thelma and Louse...
What if they had...
...a third brother... (sigh)
We whirl back to a time...
...before time...
...A land...
...before man....
...A woman...
...giving birth.
She is obviously flushed (who blames her, she's giving birth!?) A tall dark-haired man (who looks suspiciously looks like Diamond) holds the woman's hand. A three-year-old child holds the woman's other hand (he is bald and has a goatee). A female doctor coaxes her and tells her to remain calm. The woman *akward-cough* you-know...
pushes...
*The following images have been censored by the board of directors at NAPW for scenes of a graphic nature. (In the background we hear, "TWINS!") We will return to your regular programming after this commercial break*
Deep Booming Voice: Do YOU SUFFER from erectile disfunction?
Man (mumbling): I wouldn't say I SUFFER...
DBV: Then YOU need SPF 10,000,000,000,000!
Man: SPF 10 Trillion?
DBV: That's Right! SPF 10 Trillion! Not only does it block the sun's harmfull rays, but if you rub it on your (BLEEP) it will imideatelly make that limp hot-dog into a BOOMING BRATWURST!!
Man (his hand is down his pants with a bottle of the lotion in the other hand) : WOW! I can feel it work already! Thanks SPF 10 Trillion!!
Fade out...
*Warning* SPF 10 Trillion is not approved by the 13/10 house-hold doctors. Known side-effects are impotency, sun-burns, impotent sun-burns and death. If you tried SPF 10 Billion please phone the Emergency Hotline at: 1-80-I-GOT-CRABS.*
Fade back into the regular sheduled programming...
20 years later...
Axe, Diamond and Cole. The New and Improved Decapitators stand, getting fired up for their match against against The New and Improved Storm. (Thunder, Tempest and Johnny Fairplay)
Cole: Okay guys, this is our night to shine. We might be 0-89 against those three goons. But the nintieth is our time!! Yeah can you feel it? Those fans are pumped up to see me-ah-US in action!!
Axe: The only reason we're 0-89 against Storm is because we tag in you!!
Diamond (taking out a flask) :Yeah man, I say you need some magic WINNING juice.
Cole slaps the flask out of Diamond's hand spilling the contents onto the ground (GASP!!). Then Cole slaps Diamond in the face. (DOUBLE GASP!)
Cole: You disgust me! We're 0-89 against a bunch of losers and all you can think about is booze! As of right now we are officially sobering up! (TRIPLE GASP!)
FOR LIFE!! (I think some-one just fainted)
Axe: You know what Cole i'm sick and tired of you and your sh*t! We are going to do what we do best! Drink, Wrestle, and beat up famous people! And since we're not allowed to drink any-more...we're going to have to glue this halloween mask of Pauly Shore onto you!
Diamond chicken-wings Cole as Axe spurts super-glue onto Cole's face. Axe then takes the Pauly Shore mask and slaps it onto Cole. Axe winds up...
In a break of cold sweat Thunder wakes up from his horrid nightmare.
Thunder: Oh, man...I can't belive I tagged with Johnny Fairplay...
Fade to black...
[This has been Alex's Tribute to Cliffhangers and the suspicous looking guy who drives the bus on the Greyhound... I know your listening guy...Stop following me]
(By the way if you didn't get why the other brother's name was Cole it was a reference to the mineral Coal which after being compressed and heated it becomes... you guessed it...a Diamond)
What if they hadn't have gone to NAPW...
What if they had won at Black Thursday...
What if they had a solid gold statue of Thelma and Louse...
What if they had...
...a third brother... (sigh)
We whirl back to a time...
...before time...
...A land...
...before man....
...A woman...
...giving birth.
She is obviously flushed (who blames her, she's giving birth!?) A tall dark-haired man (who looks suspiciously looks like Diamond) holds the woman's hand. A three-year-old child holds the woman's other hand (he is bald and has a goatee). A female doctor coaxes her and tells her to remain calm. The woman *akward-cough* you-know...
pushes...
*The following images have been censored by the board of directors at NAPW for scenes of a graphic nature. (In the background we hear, "TWINS!") We will return to your regular programming after this commercial break*
Deep Booming Voice: Do YOU SUFFER from erectile disfunction?
Man (mumbling): I wouldn't say I SUFFER...
DBV: Then YOU need SPF 10,000,000,000,000!
Man: SPF 10 Trillion?
DBV: That's Right! SPF 10 Trillion! Not only does it block the sun's harmfull rays, but if you rub it on your (BLEEP) it will imideatelly make that limp hot-dog into a BOOMING BRATWURST!!
Man (his hand is down his pants with a bottle of the lotion in the other hand) : WOW! I can feel it work already! Thanks SPF 10 Trillion!!
Fade out...
*Warning* SPF 10 Trillion is not approved by the 13/10 house-hold doctors. Known side-effects are impotency, sun-burns, impotent sun-burns and death. If you tried SPF 10 Billion please phone the Emergency Hotline at: 1-80-I-GOT-CRABS.*
Fade back into the regular sheduled programming...
20 years later...
Axe, Diamond and Cole. The New and Improved Decapitators stand, getting fired up for their match against against The New and Improved Storm. (Thunder, Tempest and Johnny Fairplay)
Cole: Okay guys, this is our night to shine. We might be 0-89 against those three goons. But the nintieth is our time!! Yeah can you feel it? Those fans are pumped up to see me-ah-US in action!!
Axe: The only reason we're 0-89 against Storm is because we tag in you!!
Diamond (taking out a flask) :Yeah man, I say you need some magic WINNING juice.
Cole slaps the flask out of Diamond's hand spilling the contents onto the ground (GASP!!). Then Cole slaps Diamond in the face. (DOUBLE GASP!)
Cole: You disgust me! We're 0-89 against a bunch of losers and all you can think about is booze! As of right now we are officially sobering up! (TRIPLE GASP!)
FOR LIFE!! (I think some-one just fainted)
Axe: You know what Cole i'm sick and tired of you and your sh*t! We are going to do what we do best! Drink, Wrestle, and beat up famous people! And since we're not allowed to drink any-more...we're going to have to glue this halloween mask of Pauly Shore onto you!
Diamond chicken-wings Cole as Axe spurts super-glue onto Cole's face. Axe then takes the Pauly Shore mask and slaps it onto Cole. Axe winds up...
In a break of cold sweat Thunder wakes up from his horrid nightmare.
Thunder: Oh, man...I can't belive I tagged with Johnny Fairplay...
Fade to black...
[This has been Alex's Tribute to Cliffhangers and the suspicous looking guy who drives the bus on the Greyhound... I know your listening guy...Stop following me]
(By the way if you didn't get why the other brother's name was Cole it was a reference to the mineral Coal which after being compressed and heated it becomes... you guessed it...a Diamond)