Post by Chris Casino on Feb 1, 2006 0:44:33 GMT -5
- The Bellagio Casino & Resort, Las Vegas -
We open up on the huge private suite of Chris Casino and find him at the mini bar. He pours himself a shot of Whiskey and downs it like a pro. Even at this late hour, Casino is dressed better than 99.5% of the Canadian population. He gives us a smirk, pours another shot and toasts us.
Casino: To Ravager.
He knocks back the drink and grimaces. Tony Bennett is crooning on the stereo and his velvet voice drifts through the Suite.
Casino: I was just informed by NAPW that Ravager has been "removed" from the Canadian Cup because of a conflict of interests. Apparently one of two things has happened. The first is that NAPW doesn't want to see their #1 contender to the Heavyweight Title lose in the first round. The second is that he's simply a coward and begged to management to remove him from this historic event. I'm leaning towards number two myself.
So once again Ravager ducks me. Despite nearly two months of trash talk, he has YET to step into the ring with me. Ravager, please allow me to give you a quick glimpse of your future. You'll get your title shot at D! and lose. It's that simple. How many people have pushed D! to the limit? How many people can say that they have defeated D! for the NAPW Title. Just one. Me. All you've been able to prove is that you can win and lose the Provincial Title not once, but twice.
Ravager, you'll lose to D! and then you'll have to sit back and watch as the NAPW Canadian Cup passes you by. Another chance at greatness squandered. But don't you worry yourself. I'm sure you'll get another crack at that NAPW Heavyweight Title. In a few months or so. But now with the absence of Ravager, a spot has now become available in the Canadian Cup Challenge. I'm sure all of you know what the prizes are for winning so I won't repeat myself.
For those of you with short memories, to claim this newly open slot in the Tournament, the rules are quite simple. As before it's first come, first serve. You want a chance to be the man who wins the first ever NAPW Canadian Cup and all it's riches? Then grab a camera crew and announce your intent to enter the tournament. It's that simple. And please, if you're going to bitch out like Ravager, please don't bother partaking in this event. Only REAL athletes need apply.
Casino makes himself another drink and who do we see slink into view? It's smoking hot super model Naomi Campbell. She's wearing a silk black dress that does great justice to her every curve.
Naomi: I'm bored.
Casino: Yeah, I'm coming. I had to do some business first before...
Naomi slaps her hand down hard on the bar making Casino jump.
Naomi: Come. To. Bed. NOW.
Casino: Uh....Yeah alright. Be right there baby.
Naomi turns around, spots the camera crew and spits at them before stalking off.
Naomi: (screaming off screen) DAMN CAMERAS!!! I HATE CAMERAS!!!!!
Casino downs another shot.
Casino: Hmmmmmm, Evan was right. She does seem a bit....Wound up.
Casino puts away his bottle of Whiskey and hurries after the model.
- cut to a commercial for George A. Romero's new movie, "Parking Lot Of The Dead!" -
We open up on the huge private suite of Chris Casino and find him at the mini bar. He pours himself a shot of Whiskey and downs it like a pro. Even at this late hour, Casino is dressed better than 99.5% of the Canadian population. He gives us a smirk, pours another shot and toasts us.
Casino: To Ravager.
He knocks back the drink and grimaces. Tony Bennett is crooning on the stereo and his velvet voice drifts through the Suite.
Casino: I was just informed by NAPW that Ravager has been "removed" from the Canadian Cup because of a conflict of interests. Apparently one of two things has happened. The first is that NAPW doesn't want to see their #1 contender to the Heavyweight Title lose in the first round. The second is that he's simply a coward and begged to management to remove him from this historic event. I'm leaning towards number two myself.
So once again Ravager ducks me. Despite nearly two months of trash talk, he has YET to step into the ring with me. Ravager, please allow me to give you a quick glimpse of your future. You'll get your title shot at D! and lose. It's that simple. How many people have pushed D! to the limit? How many people can say that they have defeated D! for the NAPW Title. Just one. Me. All you've been able to prove is that you can win and lose the Provincial Title not once, but twice.
Ravager, you'll lose to D! and then you'll have to sit back and watch as the NAPW Canadian Cup passes you by. Another chance at greatness squandered. But don't you worry yourself. I'm sure you'll get another crack at that NAPW Heavyweight Title. In a few months or so. But now with the absence of Ravager, a spot has now become available in the Canadian Cup Challenge. I'm sure all of you know what the prizes are for winning so I won't repeat myself.
For those of you with short memories, to claim this newly open slot in the Tournament, the rules are quite simple. As before it's first come, first serve. You want a chance to be the man who wins the first ever NAPW Canadian Cup and all it's riches? Then grab a camera crew and announce your intent to enter the tournament. It's that simple. And please, if you're going to bitch out like Ravager, please don't bother partaking in this event. Only REAL athletes need apply.
Casino makes himself another drink and who do we see slink into view? It's smoking hot super model Naomi Campbell. She's wearing a silk black dress that does great justice to her every curve.
Naomi: I'm bored.
Casino: Yeah, I'm coming. I had to do some business first before...
Naomi slaps her hand down hard on the bar making Casino jump.
Naomi: Come. To. Bed. NOW.
Casino: Uh....Yeah alright. Be right there baby.
Naomi turns around, spots the camera crew and spits at them before stalking off.
Naomi: (screaming off screen) DAMN CAMERAS!!! I HATE CAMERAS!!!!!
Casino downs another shot.
Casino: Hmmmmmm, Evan was right. She does seem a bit....Wound up.
Casino puts away his bottle of Whiskey and hurries after the model.
- cut to a commercial for George A. Romero's new movie, "Parking Lot Of The Dead!" -