Post by Chris Casino on Jan 29, 2006 15:31:04 GMT -5
- Canada -
We open up on a plush apartment and find our hero, Chris Casino, laying prone on a king size bed. He looks totally worn out from the jet lag from Japan and his ever present cocky grin has taken a temporary holiday. Playing softly on the stereo is Bobby Darin singing about "Mack The Knife." Casino is dressed only in pajama bottoms and he looks lazily up at the ceiling fan spinning above his head.
Casino: (quietly) You know what's sad, good people of NAPW? Even in my tired as Hell state, I could still whip J.C.Cook's retarded ass. That's the kind of guy Cook is. His last promo? Ridiculous to the extreme. My spider senses tell me that Cook is full of envy. Envy that I'm better than he is. Envy that I can afford anything I want. Envy that I've actually accomplished something in NAPW.
Besides bitching and moaning about all the women who have left him what has Cook done? He got beat up by a man who lived in a garbage dump. He lost every match I've ever seen him in. AND he's obviously very touchy about the whole "you're in my shadow" thing. Obviously Cook is in denial about being such a total loser and failure that he's doing anything it takes to keep his mind of our match tomorrow.
Cook, you tool, I don't get why you're so sore. You have to know that you're not on my level. Hell, even Moose is more over than you. MOOSE! A guy I beat on my debut here in NAPW. Now, don't embarrass yourself with one of your lame ass promos about how I'm not in the main event this week or I don't have a title. You sound like a third grader when you say crap like that.
Casino rubs his eyes and laughs.
Casino: Our match? It's a mercy match Cook. I felt sorry for you and wanted to give you a little rub in NAPW. Now don't get excited, it's not the kind of "rub" you like to get from men in dark alleys. It's the rub of being matched against one of the top stars in NAPW. Me. The former NAPW Champion. The recently named MVP of this very company. The man who showed the entire world that D! is merely human. So tell you what Cook, you show me some respect and kiss my world class ass and I'll go easy on you tomorrow.
That's it. Nothing more. I'm tired and truth be told, Cook doesn't deserve to be talked about anymore. He is, and will forever be beneath me. He's a failure at wrestling, with love and with personal hygiene. So Cook, enjoy your time with me on Monday. Because it's about as close to greatness as your ass will ever get. Bet on it.
With that Casino finally grins for the camera. We hear the door to his bedroom open and we see supermodel and all around hottie Naomi Campbell slink into the room.
Naomi: Hey boo.
Casino: I need some sexual healing girl.
Naomi climbs into bed with Casino and unfortunately we cut to black.
- cut to a commercial for Brian's Mini Me Condoms. For the "smaller" man's use! -
We open up on a plush apartment and find our hero, Chris Casino, laying prone on a king size bed. He looks totally worn out from the jet lag from Japan and his ever present cocky grin has taken a temporary holiday. Playing softly on the stereo is Bobby Darin singing about "Mack The Knife." Casino is dressed only in pajama bottoms and he looks lazily up at the ceiling fan spinning above his head.
Casino: (quietly) You know what's sad, good people of NAPW? Even in my tired as Hell state, I could still whip J.C.Cook's retarded ass. That's the kind of guy Cook is. His last promo? Ridiculous to the extreme. My spider senses tell me that Cook is full of envy. Envy that I'm better than he is. Envy that I can afford anything I want. Envy that I've actually accomplished something in NAPW.
Besides bitching and moaning about all the women who have left him what has Cook done? He got beat up by a man who lived in a garbage dump. He lost every match I've ever seen him in. AND he's obviously very touchy about the whole "you're in my shadow" thing. Obviously Cook is in denial about being such a total loser and failure that he's doing anything it takes to keep his mind of our match tomorrow.
Cook, you tool, I don't get why you're so sore. You have to know that you're not on my level. Hell, even Moose is more over than you. MOOSE! A guy I beat on my debut here in NAPW. Now, don't embarrass yourself with one of your lame ass promos about how I'm not in the main event this week or I don't have a title. You sound like a third grader when you say crap like that.
Casino rubs his eyes and laughs.
Casino: Our match? It's a mercy match Cook. I felt sorry for you and wanted to give you a little rub in NAPW. Now don't get excited, it's not the kind of "rub" you like to get from men in dark alleys. It's the rub of being matched against one of the top stars in NAPW. Me. The former NAPW Champion. The recently named MVP of this very company. The man who showed the entire world that D! is merely human. So tell you what Cook, you show me some respect and kiss my world class ass and I'll go easy on you tomorrow.
That's it. Nothing more. I'm tired and truth be told, Cook doesn't deserve to be talked about anymore. He is, and will forever be beneath me. He's a failure at wrestling, with love and with personal hygiene. So Cook, enjoy your time with me on Monday. Because it's about as close to greatness as your ass will ever get. Bet on it.
With that Casino finally grins for the camera. We hear the door to his bedroom open and we see supermodel and all around hottie Naomi Campbell slink into the room.
Naomi: Hey boo.
Casino: I need some sexual healing girl.
Naomi climbs into bed with Casino and unfortunately we cut to black.
- cut to a commercial for Brian's Mini Me Condoms. For the "smaller" man's use! -