Post by "Superstar" Deathrow on Jan 28, 2006 5:14:56 GMT -5
The scene opens up inside off a small room where we see Deathrow sleeping in a hammock. He has the latest copy of Zoo Book magazine draped across his chest He appears to be camping judging by the tent he`s pitching… The camera Quickly zooms in an inside of his head we go.
We see a mini van with the roof chopped off of it driving down the road. Two men and a Woman are seen in it. Enjoying the wind going threw there hair. They seem to be dancing to the music there listening to and laughing it up having a good time. Behind them Deathrow can be seen Peddling his tricycle going to town on it. He is Holding the hand of one of his bear friends the other two have gone off. Deathrow and the bear are driving around in what appears to be a big hick town.
Deathrow: Well pa I recon you did bring your double barrel shot gun right.
Bear: Boy you now your pa don’t go a know where with out it. Besides boy you know this here a gun if how I got your ma injected with my seed.
Deathrow: Hey you mean you did that to mom also?
Deathrows mind fast forwards and He is now standing in a park. Parents, dogs, teens, and small children are all around. Deathrow has a huge grin going across his face. Deathrow runs forward towards a small boy who’s playing on a rocking horse. Deathrow grabs the boy from under his arms and lifts the child in the air. He throws him in the air and catches him. Than lifts up the kids shirt and gives his stomach a raspberry. The boy and Deathrow are both laughing and hugging each other.
Boy: That was fun do it again.
Deathrow: No one tells me what to do.
Boy: But I love you…
Deathrow Looks at the child and the face of Bobby O’Brady appears across its face. Deathrow lunges forward and tackles the kid and applies a Camel Clutch on him. Once standing Deathrow lights up a cigarette and begins stomping the body of the kid. Deathrow itches his head and pulls out a glass of whiskey. Upon drinking the glass Deathrows attention is grabbed by laughter coming from behind him. He quickly turns and see’s two grown men playing on the monkey bars.
Deathrow: What the (BLEEP) are you two (BLEEP)s doing? We all know I’m the king of this here playground, monkey bars included!
Man one and Two: Show us what you got than.
Deathrow gets in the middle of the monkey bars and the two men start kicking at him. Deathrow goes straight forward and grabs the first man balls with his right hand. He grips them tightly and the second man is kicking him in the back. Deathrow goes in for a kiss on the first man but he drops to the ground.
Deathrow: Ahh one down. Now your turn.
Deathrow turns around and is about to start kicking. But quickly realizes who man number two is. Deathrow and the man both stop and fall to the ground.
Deathrow: Jack? Jack jungle man Hannah is that you? What the hell are you doing here, trying to chicken fight me.
Jack Hannah: Of course the chicken have large talons.
Deathrow: Right yes I know this. But why are you here.
Jack: Oh Thomas Deathrow whats going on. How have you been I was wondering when you would again be visiting me. I know you still buy all my DVD’s and what not. You always where a Hannah Whore. Come now we must get going.
Deathrow and Jack begin traveling Deathrow is pedaling the Tricycle and Jack is sitting on Deathrows shoulders.
Deathrow: Aren’t you a little old and big to be riding on my shoulders.
Jack: No its like I’m flying you know. Keep pedaling than make a right up here.
Deathrow does as told once at the stop the men get off the tricycle. Deathrow looks around lost. Confused and lost un sure where the hell he is.
Deathrow: Ah Jack I know this is my dream and all. But where am I?
Jack: Looks like Loch Ness to me? So obviously were now in Scotland.
Deathrow looks at Jack and smiles. Deathrow is standing in front of Jack in a kilt. Jack is still wearing his animal rangers uniform.
Deathrow: “laughing” Look Jack.
Jack: Yeah wow a Kilt. Haha your funny. Ohh jumping joeys. Stop that you sick sloth.
Deathrow has pulled his kilt up to show Jack he has no underwear on underneath the kilt.
Deathrow: You liked it I know you did. Now come with me. This is my dream and I’m off to give some of Al Theo’s relatives the Arabian goggles.
Jack: Arabian goggles?
Deathrow runs at Jack and close lines him. Deathrow stands over Jack and gets on his knees and places his nuts on Jacks eyes.
Deathrow: Yes the Arabian goggles. Understand?
Jack stands up and brushes himself off.
Jack: Not really I think we should do something else instead of that. Like how about you go visit some orphans or something.
All of a sudden a goofy looking man with blond wavy hair and black suspenders runs by Jack and Deathrow. Yelling "Jings! Crivvens! Help ma Boab!"
Deathrow: It’s that (BLEEP)in Scottish cartoon guy Oor Wullie. After him.
Deathrow and Jack run after the man. Who ends up running into a bar. Deathrow goes into the bar as Jack decides he best stay outside and wait. Once inside the bar Deathrow runs around frantically as the Eye of the Tiger is playing over the jukebox. Deathrow with his arms pumping in the air runs behind the bar and takes a bottle of peppermint schnapps. Deathrow heads back outside.
Deathrow: Beats me that place was (BLEEP)ed. I didn’t want that guy that much anyways all he ever says is "Jings! Crivvens! Help ma Boab!" least that’s all I know of. Now than Jack this dream sucks. What else can I do.
Jack: Don’t know about you kiddo but I’m going home. Back to some native land. Back to Tennessee. See you later
Jack Hannah disappears and Deathrow is left alone. He walks around with his head down kicking the dirt. Deathrow is standing in front of a huge lake
Deathrow: Well I see I’m back at loch ness. I guess there’s really only one things left to do.
Deathrow lifts his kilt and begins pissing into the loch and yelling
Deathrow: yeah nessie you like this? Huh what you gonna do girl? I got plenty more for you mother fuker.
Deathrow starts hitting the water and stomping around in it. He does a elbow drop than gets up and does a power bombs with the little water that’s in his hands. He starts to do a falcons arrow but gets his leg sweeped out from under him.
“Deathrows laying on his back” Deathrow: What the (BLEEP) just happened?
A huge tail smashes across the front of Deathrows chest and starts whipping him over and over.
Voice: Piss in my loch will you? Ahh hell no never again. Stand up whipping boy.
Deathrow stand and stairs on in shock. As Nessie is there in the water looking directly at him.
Nessie: What you scared? You want some of this do you not? Well what are you waiting for.
Deathrow: nothing but I thought you were fake. Oh well its on bitch. Paper rock scissors. Best two out of three. Deal?
Nessie: I’ve beaten god at paper rock scissor no way I’m loosing to you.
Nessie and Deathrow each place out a hand in Nessies sake a wing. They go up and down three times before shooting.
Deathrow: Ha bitch rock beats scissors every time. You got know skill non what so ever. Much like your boy Al. Lets go to round two.
Nessie: Shut it dirty man. You have crabs so big Joes crab shack’s been calling.
Deathrow: I do naaaahhh “Deathrow looks down and there’s a crab pinching onto his leg. Deathrow can’t kick it off.” Oh get it off get it off.
Deathrow falls to the ground and starts punching it. It finally lets go and Deathrow lays there with his hands fisted over his head.
Nessie: haha Paper beats rock bitch.
Deathrow: But your cheating I didn’t pick rock. I was punching the crab that’s why my hand is fisted. What no fair. Damn it.
Nessie: HAHA your welcome (BLEEP). Now gets ready for round three. Because its going to be a doosie
They stick there arms out again and lift up and down three times than shoot.
Deathrow: there it is. I win as always. Told you know one can beat the man known as Tommy Deathrow
Nessie: Ahh no I’m paper and all you did was make a D with your thumb and pointer finger. How in the hell do you suppose that you have won?
Deathrow: Yeah, D for Doomriders. You loose. OK. Its my Dream and I want to win. So loose all ready damn it.
Deathrow lifts up the Loch Ness monster and delivers a Deathrow driver to the monstrous beast.
Deathrow than flicks off nessie and begins to walk away.
Deathrow: Man I have to quit drinking before bed. Because this dream is (BLEEP)ed and I myself don’t really understand the purpose of it. I really need to get home.
Deathrow now is standing in front of what appears to be the Atlantic ocean.
Deathrow: All right I can do this. If Artie from Pete and Pete can I can. With the proper attire.
Deathrow now has on a The Animals hoodie with black sweat pants on. He is holding his Tricycle. Standing on top of a ramp. He pulls out a mp three player and starts playing Amerika by Ramstein.
Deathrow: Yeah this will do it. I have done this like fifty eleven times.
Deathrow takes a deep breath and begins peddling his fastest down the ramp and up he goes only to crash about twenty yards out into the ocean. Tommy keeps peddling and he I underwater. He is still peddling while he panics. The dream goes black.
Deathrow is laying out on the ground. With a man standing over him pushing on his chest.
Man: Come on big fella you can pull threw this.
The man begins to give Deathrow mouth to mouth resuscitation. Than pushes un his chest three times. Deathrow spits up the water. Deathrow comes to enough to realize the Man is none other than David Hasselhoff. David goes for mouth to mouth once more. Deathrow puts a arm around David’s head and forces David’s head and lips to stay locked on His. David jerks away.
Deathrow: Thank you David. “Deathrow reaches out to touch Hasselhoffs hairy chest” It’s always nice to meet a caring fan. Now where am I?
David: Ahh right. Your in Compton of course where else would you be. More less where else would I be.
Deathrow: You? Germany probably. Thanks again I must leave.
Deathrow is fascinated by all the surfs that are running around the streets. One turns around and looks at him firing a pistol. Deathrow wakes up.
Deathrow is completely wet and his heart is beating rapidly. Deathrow looks over and pours himself a quick drink. He reaches for the phone and Dials it.
Deathrow: Billy, I think I wet myself and Had a wet dream at the same time. This dream made no sense at all In fact I was barely able to follow the happening of it
Billy: Dude no more drinking before your bed time, all right we have had this talk plenty of times before hand Now stay focused on these two Celtic (BLEEP)s for the time being all right.
Deathrow: Ok Billy sounds good talk to you later
Deathrow hangs up the phone takes off his clothes puts on some slippers and leaves his room…
We see a mini van with the roof chopped off of it driving down the road. Two men and a Woman are seen in it. Enjoying the wind going threw there hair. They seem to be dancing to the music there listening to and laughing it up having a good time. Behind them Deathrow can be seen Peddling his tricycle going to town on it. He is Holding the hand of one of his bear friends the other two have gone off. Deathrow and the bear are driving around in what appears to be a big hick town.
Deathrow: Well pa I recon you did bring your double barrel shot gun right.
Bear: Boy you now your pa don’t go a know where with out it. Besides boy you know this here a gun if how I got your ma injected with my seed.
Deathrow: Hey you mean you did that to mom also?
Deathrows mind fast forwards and He is now standing in a park. Parents, dogs, teens, and small children are all around. Deathrow has a huge grin going across his face. Deathrow runs forward towards a small boy who’s playing on a rocking horse. Deathrow grabs the boy from under his arms and lifts the child in the air. He throws him in the air and catches him. Than lifts up the kids shirt and gives his stomach a raspberry. The boy and Deathrow are both laughing and hugging each other.
Boy: That was fun do it again.
Deathrow: No one tells me what to do.
Boy: But I love you…
Deathrow Looks at the child and the face of Bobby O’Brady appears across its face. Deathrow lunges forward and tackles the kid and applies a Camel Clutch on him. Once standing Deathrow lights up a cigarette and begins stomping the body of the kid. Deathrow itches his head and pulls out a glass of whiskey. Upon drinking the glass Deathrows attention is grabbed by laughter coming from behind him. He quickly turns and see’s two grown men playing on the monkey bars.
Deathrow: What the (BLEEP) are you two (BLEEP)s doing? We all know I’m the king of this here playground, monkey bars included!
Man one and Two: Show us what you got than.
Deathrow gets in the middle of the monkey bars and the two men start kicking at him. Deathrow goes straight forward and grabs the first man balls with his right hand. He grips them tightly and the second man is kicking him in the back. Deathrow goes in for a kiss on the first man but he drops to the ground.
Deathrow: Ahh one down. Now your turn.
Deathrow turns around and is about to start kicking. But quickly realizes who man number two is. Deathrow and the man both stop and fall to the ground.
Deathrow: Jack? Jack jungle man Hannah is that you? What the hell are you doing here, trying to chicken fight me.
Jack Hannah: Of course the chicken have large talons.
Deathrow: Right yes I know this. But why are you here.
Jack: Oh Thomas Deathrow whats going on. How have you been I was wondering when you would again be visiting me. I know you still buy all my DVD’s and what not. You always where a Hannah Whore. Come now we must get going.
Deathrow and Jack begin traveling Deathrow is pedaling the Tricycle and Jack is sitting on Deathrows shoulders.
Deathrow: Aren’t you a little old and big to be riding on my shoulders.
Jack: No its like I’m flying you know. Keep pedaling than make a right up here.
Deathrow does as told once at the stop the men get off the tricycle. Deathrow looks around lost. Confused and lost un sure where the hell he is.
Deathrow: Ah Jack I know this is my dream and all. But where am I?
Jack: Looks like Loch Ness to me? So obviously were now in Scotland.
Deathrow looks at Jack and smiles. Deathrow is standing in front of Jack in a kilt. Jack is still wearing his animal rangers uniform.
Deathrow: “laughing” Look Jack.
Jack: Yeah wow a Kilt. Haha your funny. Ohh jumping joeys. Stop that you sick sloth.
Deathrow has pulled his kilt up to show Jack he has no underwear on underneath the kilt.
Deathrow: You liked it I know you did. Now come with me. This is my dream and I’m off to give some of Al Theo’s relatives the Arabian goggles.
Jack: Arabian goggles?
Deathrow runs at Jack and close lines him. Deathrow stands over Jack and gets on his knees and places his nuts on Jacks eyes.
Deathrow: Yes the Arabian goggles. Understand?
Jack stands up and brushes himself off.
Jack: Not really I think we should do something else instead of that. Like how about you go visit some orphans or something.
All of a sudden a goofy looking man with blond wavy hair and black suspenders runs by Jack and Deathrow. Yelling "Jings! Crivvens! Help ma Boab!"
Deathrow: It’s that (BLEEP)in Scottish cartoon guy Oor Wullie. After him.
Deathrow and Jack run after the man. Who ends up running into a bar. Deathrow goes into the bar as Jack decides he best stay outside and wait. Once inside the bar Deathrow runs around frantically as the Eye of the Tiger is playing over the jukebox. Deathrow with his arms pumping in the air runs behind the bar and takes a bottle of peppermint schnapps. Deathrow heads back outside.
Deathrow: Beats me that place was (BLEEP)ed. I didn’t want that guy that much anyways all he ever says is "Jings! Crivvens! Help ma Boab!" least that’s all I know of. Now than Jack this dream sucks. What else can I do.
Jack: Don’t know about you kiddo but I’m going home. Back to some native land. Back to Tennessee. See you later
Jack Hannah disappears and Deathrow is left alone. He walks around with his head down kicking the dirt. Deathrow is standing in front of a huge lake
Deathrow: Well I see I’m back at loch ness. I guess there’s really only one things left to do.
Deathrow lifts his kilt and begins pissing into the loch and yelling
Deathrow: yeah nessie you like this? Huh what you gonna do girl? I got plenty more for you mother fuker.
Deathrow starts hitting the water and stomping around in it. He does a elbow drop than gets up and does a power bombs with the little water that’s in his hands. He starts to do a falcons arrow but gets his leg sweeped out from under him.
“Deathrows laying on his back” Deathrow: What the (BLEEP) just happened?
A huge tail smashes across the front of Deathrows chest and starts whipping him over and over.
Voice: Piss in my loch will you? Ahh hell no never again. Stand up whipping boy.
Deathrow stand and stairs on in shock. As Nessie is there in the water looking directly at him.
Nessie: What you scared? You want some of this do you not? Well what are you waiting for.
Deathrow: nothing but I thought you were fake. Oh well its on bitch. Paper rock scissors. Best two out of three. Deal?
Nessie: I’ve beaten god at paper rock scissor no way I’m loosing to you.
Nessie and Deathrow each place out a hand in Nessies sake a wing. They go up and down three times before shooting.
Deathrow: Ha bitch rock beats scissors every time. You got know skill non what so ever. Much like your boy Al. Lets go to round two.
Nessie: Shut it dirty man. You have crabs so big Joes crab shack’s been calling.
Deathrow: I do naaaahhh “Deathrow looks down and there’s a crab pinching onto his leg. Deathrow can’t kick it off.” Oh get it off get it off.
Deathrow falls to the ground and starts punching it. It finally lets go and Deathrow lays there with his hands fisted over his head.
Nessie: haha Paper beats rock bitch.
Deathrow: But your cheating I didn’t pick rock. I was punching the crab that’s why my hand is fisted. What no fair. Damn it.
Nessie: HAHA your welcome (BLEEP). Now gets ready for round three. Because its going to be a doosie
They stick there arms out again and lift up and down three times than shoot.
Deathrow: there it is. I win as always. Told you know one can beat the man known as Tommy Deathrow
Nessie: Ahh no I’m paper and all you did was make a D with your thumb and pointer finger. How in the hell do you suppose that you have won?
Deathrow: Yeah, D for Doomriders. You loose. OK. Its my Dream and I want to win. So loose all ready damn it.
Deathrow lifts up the Loch Ness monster and delivers a Deathrow driver to the monstrous beast.
Deathrow than flicks off nessie and begins to walk away.
Deathrow: Man I have to quit drinking before bed. Because this dream is (BLEEP)ed and I myself don’t really understand the purpose of it. I really need to get home.
Deathrow now is standing in front of what appears to be the Atlantic ocean.
Deathrow: All right I can do this. If Artie from Pete and Pete can I can. With the proper attire.
Deathrow now has on a The Animals hoodie with black sweat pants on. He is holding his Tricycle. Standing on top of a ramp. He pulls out a mp three player and starts playing Amerika by Ramstein.
Deathrow: Yeah this will do it. I have done this like fifty eleven times.
Deathrow takes a deep breath and begins peddling his fastest down the ramp and up he goes only to crash about twenty yards out into the ocean. Tommy keeps peddling and he I underwater. He is still peddling while he panics. The dream goes black.
Deathrow is laying out on the ground. With a man standing over him pushing on his chest.
Man: Come on big fella you can pull threw this.
The man begins to give Deathrow mouth to mouth resuscitation. Than pushes un his chest three times. Deathrow spits up the water. Deathrow comes to enough to realize the Man is none other than David Hasselhoff. David goes for mouth to mouth once more. Deathrow puts a arm around David’s head and forces David’s head and lips to stay locked on His. David jerks away.
Deathrow: Thank you David. “Deathrow reaches out to touch Hasselhoffs hairy chest” It’s always nice to meet a caring fan. Now where am I?
David: Ahh right. Your in Compton of course where else would you be. More less where else would I be.
Deathrow: You? Germany probably. Thanks again I must leave.
Deathrow is fascinated by all the surfs that are running around the streets. One turns around and looks at him firing a pistol. Deathrow wakes up.
Deathrow is completely wet and his heart is beating rapidly. Deathrow looks over and pours himself a quick drink. He reaches for the phone and Dials it.
Deathrow: Billy, I think I wet myself and Had a wet dream at the same time. This dream made no sense at all In fact I was barely able to follow the happening of it
Billy: Dude no more drinking before your bed time, all right we have had this talk plenty of times before hand Now stay focused on these two Celtic (BLEEP)s for the time being all right.
Deathrow: Ok Billy sounds good talk to you later
Deathrow hangs up the phone takes off his clothes puts on some slippers and leaves his room…