Post by "Sick" Billy Kryenik on Jan 27, 2006 17:32:08 GMT -5
{Billy makes his was towards the woman. As if a joke, the closer he walks, the further the woman goes away.}
Billy: Honestly, I’m going to sit down and take a rest if she keeps getting further away like that.
{Billy trips, stumbling forward, falling onto the ground. The ground turns into a pit of black tar that Billy is fighting to stay afloat in. He tries the front stroke, even the back stroke.}
Billy: What the hell is this garbage?
{Billy’s body is falling completely into the black abyss. His shoulders and head are still afloat, with his arms holding him up. The ground solidifies and Billy is stuck in the black road.}
Billy: Yeah, and next thing I’ll know, giant spiders will come out and I’ll yell “JUMANGI!”. Christ on a cracker how am I going to get out of this.
{A rope is tossed in front of Billy. Billy looks at the rope, and grabs it.}
Billy: Hello? What am I supposed to do with this? Choke myself to death? This is solid concrete!!
{The little rabbit has returned, with the rope stuck a little ways in his mouth.}
Billy: blink---blink You again? Nice idea rabbit. Maybe get a bulldozer next time. I’ll wait here.
Rabbit: spitting out the rope Maybe you should try this way?
Billy: What’s the point? Seems like I’m stuck in here. What can a rope possibly do?
Rabbit: I’ve often though that you do give up to easy.
Billy: Oh here we go. Wait a minute, what are you wearing?
{The rabbit looks to his behind and sniffs with his tiny little nose.}
Billy: Is that a Kilt??
Rabbit: Seems to be.
Billy: How the (BLEEP) did you put that on? You don’t; have opposable thumbs!
Rabbit: Sure I do… shifty eyes see…
{2 thumbs pop out of the rabbits paws. Billy’s eyes widen in amazement.}
Billy: Ok… I suppose I can just grow a scrotum on my face at the snap of my fingers?
Rabbit: Try it out.
Billy: snap Anything?
{The rabbits eyes squint with horror. It turns away from Billy, baring its backside to him.}
Rabbit: Oh god, snap again please.
Billy: Is there a scrotum on my face!?
Rabbit: Yeah, sure is.
{Billy has a “scrotum” looking growth coming off of his right cheek. He feels his face with his hands, finding it with his right hand. He touches it, and cups it.}
Billy: Now that’s hot.
Rabbit: snap Quit fooling around and pull yourself out.
Billy: Hey now, give back my scrotum growth, god damn it. I swear, if I had a mirror I’d think I was Al Thoes!
Rabbit: Oh, low blow on Thoes. High Five!
{Rabbit jumps up and high fives Billy. Billy smiles and celebrates with his hands clasped together cheering in the air. The Rabbit ruins the celebration by biting him to get his attention.}
Billy: you’re such a cheap little bastard. The kilt says pansy, the face says killer. Scary, sadistic, talking rabbit.
Rabbit: Pull!!!
Billy: Fine. You win.
{Billy pulls on the rope, with the rabbit pulling the other end, trying to force Billy out of the concrete. The ground starts to break, to Billy’s amazement. His face lights up with joy and he giggles to himself. He comes shooting out of the concrete and lands face first on the road above. There are a pair of naked legs in front of him. He coughs up some pebbles and wipes off his face, looking up.}
Billy: coughing up rocks Mom?!
{The woman is wearing nothing but an Irish flag that is wrapped around her upper torso. She is feeling herself, allowing all the Irish pride to flow through her body.}
Billy: When the cock did you become Irish? I though we were Dutch/English?
Mom: Oh but it soooo good. The green, the orange, the white. Mmmm. Finlay, that’s his name.
Billy: What are you talking about?
Mom: That Irish Adonis, he took me for a ride along the Irish express. Oh Billy, he was so good.
Billy: What the (BLEEP) mom. You’re married, we’re not Irish, and the Irish Adonis is more like Adrian.
Mom: What was that son, I was to busy thinking about how big O’Brady is.
Billy: This is nothing like you at all. You’ve never been like this.
{The scene changes. Billy is sitting in a desk that has a chair attached to it. Like a school desk, but it a more setting that is all to familiar to Billy. It’s his child hood home. The Rabbit is sitting on the window sill, still wearing the kilt. Billy’s Mom’s Irish flash is getting more and more revealing.}
Mom: Sit up straight! Put those elbows off the table young man.
Billy: jaw drops Are you serious?
{Billy looks over at the Rabbit.}
Billy: Is she serious?
Rabbit: It’s your dream, you try to make sense of it.
Billy: I don’t think I want too.
Rabbit: Maybe this is the mother you wish you had, one who was strict.
Billy: The mom I had, didn’t really care what I did. Not that she wasn’t a good mom or anything, but years and years of hearing the head board hit the wall followed by an “OH OH OH!” doesn’t exactly make you want to be around her.
Rabbit: mocking Billy “Oh Oh Oh”
Billy: shivers Stop now, you Scottish bastard.
{The Rabbit has a little Scottish hat, a tiny set of bag pipes and the kilt on him now.}
Billy: Where do you come up with this stuff?
Rabbit: I don’t, you do.
Billy: shaking head quickly oh shut up rabbit.
{Billy’s mom slams her fist down on the desk and Billy’s head turns quick towards her. Her face is right in front of his, within centimeters.}
Mom: Now Pay attention Billy. Today I am going to teach you about the Vagina.
Billy: smacks head Honestly?
Mom: Now this pulls a plastic vagina out of no where is a vagina.
Billy: Mom?
{A blurry circle goes over top of the plastic vagina.}
Billy: Whats with the censorship?
Mom: PG-13, Billy.
Billy: Oh, right. Psssst turning to the rabbit what do you suppose this represents?
Rabbit: ?? You know, I’m not sure this means anything. I think you’ve just always wanted to sleep with your mom.
Billy: Oh right… wait a minute… Eww! That’s (BLEEP)ing sick, rabbit. You go squish now!
{Billy gets out of his seat and squishes the rabbit with his fist. No blood, no guts, but the rabbits body slowly goes into the window sill.}
Billy: Ah, peace and quite. sigh
---CRASH---
Billy: Bwah?
{The wall of the house has crumbled and a large brown bear, with a little red, blue and white had, riding a tricycle comes cycling in. It hits Billy’s mom and takes her right out of the picture. It goes through the other wall and Billy is walking slowly towards the rubble.}
Billy: What the (BLEEP) was that?!
{Another bear on a tricycle comes riding in. Followed by another, followed by none other than Tommy Deathrow with the same hat and same tricycle.}
Billy: Tommy? You’re face is back! Yay!
Tommy: Of course it is. But your scrotum is gone. Why? Say, do you like my bears?
Billy: Yeah, real nice. How the hell did you get here again?
{The house disappears and turns into a colourful circus ring with Tommy and the three bears riding circles around Billy. Circus music starts to play and Billy grabs his ears. The Rabbit has returned, this time with a fake curled mustache, a top hat a little whip and a purple coat.}
Tommy: I don't really know. I know I was here first though. So, you must have jumped into my dream. Or I’m dreaming about you?... Deathrow has a lost look on his face No, I’m pretty sure that you went to the house of the rising sun and that made you jump into my dream because that’s how I did it.
Billy: blank stare Figures. That damned house of the rising sun. How could I have forgotten about that? I'm such an idiot.
{Billy rolls his eyes}
Billy: I think this is first time I’ve been in the same place as you other than a match scenario. (BLEEP)! I was hoping for a complete disregard of friendship. (BLEEP) sakes, we had a good streak going.
Tommy: Well yeah we still do have another good streak going, we’re undefeated so far I think? Besides if I can't see you nor the bears than how do we know we both really where hear. Now do you know you’re not just listening to a tape of my sweet melodic voice telling you what I want you to think of me? How does a mayo and peanut butter sandwich sound? Besides I don`t need real friends were just battle buds
Billy: boggled I could go for peanut butter and mayo right about now. Maybe that little rabbit bastard can give us some. shakes fist PB AND MAYO!!!!
Rabbit: What am I? a Chef?
Billy: You're whatever I want, it's my dream.
Rabbit: Correction, it's Tommy's dream now.
Billy: Oh (BLEEP)..
Tommy: I want a fire chief... Say Billy can I smell your moms fingers?
Billy: Ask the bear that took her out. Where the hell did fire chief come from?
Tommy: I’m not sure, but I’m sure it has something to do with that bears hat.
Billy: Tommy what the (BLEEP) are you talking about? How did you manage to sneak alcohol into your dream?
Tommy: complete disregard of billy’s commentHey Billy look at this!
{Deathrow has the Rabbit (dressed as a ringmaster) in front of his crotch. He’s pulsing forward as if he is giving the rabbit sexual pleasures.}
Rabbit: frantic Billy it’s time for you to wake up now. I’m afraid you’ve lost control of this entire dream. Deathrows mind has completely taken over. But before I send you back, I need you to know one thing. You are what you want to be. Don’t be what can make you successful. Success comes from within, whether its scaring little children, pulverizing opponents with foreign objects or petting little bunny rabbits. Do what is right for Billy Kryenik now. Let the past be the past. The future is friendly.
{Billy nods, and the rabbit jumps out of Deathrows hands. It runs to Billy and bites him in the shin. Billy grabs his leg in pain.}
(Billy is tossing and turning in his bed. His eyes dart open and he shoots up out of his bed like a rocket. He’s looking around to make sense of the confusion. A little white rabbit sits down on the right hand corner of his bed. Kryenik rubs his eyes, red and swollen.)
Billy: A rabbit?
(Billy pulls the blankets down and sees the bite on his shin, as well as the ones on his hand.)
Billy: At least this one doesn’t have a kilt and bagpipes.
(He grabs the rabbit and gets out of bed. He stares out the window as the scene fade away.)
Billy: Honestly, I’m going to sit down and take a rest if she keeps getting further away like that.
{Billy trips, stumbling forward, falling onto the ground. The ground turns into a pit of black tar that Billy is fighting to stay afloat in. He tries the front stroke, even the back stroke.}
Billy: What the hell is this garbage?
{Billy’s body is falling completely into the black abyss. His shoulders and head are still afloat, with his arms holding him up. The ground solidifies and Billy is stuck in the black road.}
Billy: Yeah, and next thing I’ll know, giant spiders will come out and I’ll yell “JUMANGI!”. Christ on a cracker how am I going to get out of this.
{A rope is tossed in front of Billy. Billy looks at the rope, and grabs it.}
Billy: Hello? What am I supposed to do with this? Choke myself to death? This is solid concrete!!
{The little rabbit has returned, with the rope stuck a little ways in his mouth.}
Billy: blink---blink You again? Nice idea rabbit. Maybe get a bulldozer next time. I’ll wait here.
Rabbit: spitting out the rope Maybe you should try this way?
Billy: What’s the point? Seems like I’m stuck in here. What can a rope possibly do?
Rabbit: I’ve often though that you do give up to easy.
Billy: Oh here we go. Wait a minute, what are you wearing?
{The rabbit looks to his behind and sniffs with his tiny little nose.}
Billy: Is that a Kilt??
Rabbit: Seems to be.
Billy: How the (BLEEP) did you put that on? You don’t; have opposable thumbs!
Rabbit: Sure I do… shifty eyes see…
{2 thumbs pop out of the rabbits paws. Billy’s eyes widen in amazement.}
Billy: Ok… I suppose I can just grow a scrotum on my face at the snap of my fingers?
Rabbit: Try it out.
Billy: snap Anything?
{The rabbits eyes squint with horror. It turns away from Billy, baring its backside to him.}
Rabbit: Oh god, snap again please.
Billy: Is there a scrotum on my face!?
Rabbit: Yeah, sure is.
{Billy has a “scrotum” looking growth coming off of his right cheek. He feels his face with his hands, finding it with his right hand. He touches it, and cups it.}
Billy: Now that’s hot.
Rabbit: snap Quit fooling around and pull yourself out.
Billy: Hey now, give back my scrotum growth, god damn it. I swear, if I had a mirror I’d think I was Al Thoes!
Rabbit: Oh, low blow on Thoes. High Five!
{Rabbit jumps up and high fives Billy. Billy smiles and celebrates with his hands clasped together cheering in the air. The Rabbit ruins the celebration by biting him to get his attention.}
Billy: you’re such a cheap little bastard. The kilt says pansy, the face says killer. Scary, sadistic, talking rabbit.
Rabbit: Pull!!!
Billy: Fine. You win.
{Billy pulls on the rope, with the rabbit pulling the other end, trying to force Billy out of the concrete. The ground starts to break, to Billy’s amazement. His face lights up with joy and he giggles to himself. He comes shooting out of the concrete and lands face first on the road above. There are a pair of naked legs in front of him. He coughs up some pebbles and wipes off his face, looking up.}
Billy: coughing up rocks Mom?!
{The woman is wearing nothing but an Irish flag that is wrapped around her upper torso. She is feeling herself, allowing all the Irish pride to flow through her body.}
Billy: When the cock did you become Irish? I though we were Dutch/English?
Mom: Oh but it soooo good. The green, the orange, the white. Mmmm. Finlay, that’s his name.
Billy: What are you talking about?
Mom: That Irish Adonis, he took me for a ride along the Irish express. Oh Billy, he was so good.
Billy: What the (BLEEP) mom. You’re married, we’re not Irish, and the Irish Adonis is more like Adrian.
Mom: What was that son, I was to busy thinking about how big O’Brady is.
Billy: This is nothing like you at all. You’ve never been like this.
{The scene changes. Billy is sitting in a desk that has a chair attached to it. Like a school desk, but it a more setting that is all to familiar to Billy. It’s his child hood home. The Rabbit is sitting on the window sill, still wearing the kilt. Billy’s Mom’s Irish flash is getting more and more revealing.}
Mom: Sit up straight! Put those elbows off the table young man.
Billy: jaw drops Are you serious?
{Billy looks over at the Rabbit.}
Billy: Is she serious?
Rabbit: It’s your dream, you try to make sense of it.
Billy: I don’t think I want too.
Rabbit: Maybe this is the mother you wish you had, one who was strict.
Billy: The mom I had, didn’t really care what I did. Not that she wasn’t a good mom or anything, but years and years of hearing the head board hit the wall followed by an “OH OH OH!” doesn’t exactly make you want to be around her.
Rabbit: mocking Billy “Oh Oh Oh”
Billy: shivers Stop now, you Scottish bastard.
{The Rabbit has a little Scottish hat, a tiny set of bag pipes and the kilt on him now.}
Billy: Where do you come up with this stuff?
Rabbit: I don’t, you do.
Billy: shaking head quickly oh shut up rabbit.
{Billy’s mom slams her fist down on the desk and Billy’s head turns quick towards her. Her face is right in front of his, within centimeters.}
Mom: Now Pay attention Billy. Today I am going to teach you about the Vagina.
Billy: smacks head Honestly?
Mom: Now this pulls a plastic vagina out of no where is a vagina.
Billy: Mom?
{A blurry circle goes over top of the plastic vagina.}
Billy: Whats with the censorship?
Mom: PG-13, Billy.
Billy: Oh, right. Psssst turning to the rabbit what do you suppose this represents?
Rabbit: ?? You know, I’m not sure this means anything. I think you’ve just always wanted to sleep with your mom.
Billy: Oh right… wait a minute… Eww! That’s (BLEEP)ing sick, rabbit. You go squish now!
{Billy gets out of his seat and squishes the rabbit with his fist. No blood, no guts, but the rabbits body slowly goes into the window sill.}
Billy: Ah, peace and quite. sigh
---CRASH---
Billy: Bwah?
{The wall of the house has crumbled and a large brown bear, with a little red, blue and white had, riding a tricycle comes cycling in. It hits Billy’s mom and takes her right out of the picture. It goes through the other wall and Billy is walking slowly towards the rubble.}
Billy: What the (BLEEP) was that?!
{Another bear on a tricycle comes riding in. Followed by another, followed by none other than Tommy Deathrow with the same hat and same tricycle.}
Billy: Tommy? You’re face is back! Yay!
Tommy: Of course it is. But your scrotum is gone. Why? Say, do you like my bears?
Billy: Yeah, real nice. How the hell did you get here again?
{The house disappears and turns into a colourful circus ring with Tommy and the three bears riding circles around Billy. Circus music starts to play and Billy grabs his ears. The Rabbit has returned, this time with a fake curled mustache, a top hat a little whip and a purple coat.}
Tommy: I don't really know. I know I was here first though. So, you must have jumped into my dream. Or I’m dreaming about you?... Deathrow has a lost look on his face No, I’m pretty sure that you went to the house of the rising sun and that made you jump into my dream because that’s how I did it.
Billy: blank stare Figures. That damned house of the rising sun. How could I have forgotten about that? I'm such an idiot.
{Billy rolls his eyes}
Billy: I think this is first time I’ve been in the same place as you other than a match scenario. (BLEEP)! I was hoping for a complete disregard of friendship. (BLEEP) sakes, we had a good streak going.
Tommy: Well yeah we still do have another good streak going, we’re undefeated so far I think? Besides if I can't see you nor the bears than how do we know we both really where hear. Now do you know you’re not just listening to a tape of my sweet melodic voice telling you what I want you to think of me? How does a mayo and peanut butter sandwich sound? Besides I don`t need real friends were just battle buds
Billy: boggled I could go for peanut butter and mayo right about now. Maybe that little rabbit bastard can give us some. shakes fist PB AND MAYO!!!!
Rabbit: What am I? a Chef?
Billy: You're whatever I want, it's my dream.
Rabbit: Correction, it's Tommy's dream now.
Billy: Oh (BLEEP)..
Tommy: I want a fire chief... Say Billy can I smell your moms fingers?
Billy: Ask the bear that took her out. Where the hell did fire chief come from?
Tommy: I’m not sure, but I’m sure it has something to do with that bears hat.
Billy: Tommy what the (BLEEP) are you talking about? How did you manage to sneak alcohol into your dream?
Tommy: complete disregard of billy’s commentHey Billy look at this!
{Deathrow has the Rabbit (dressed as a ringmaster) in front of his crotch. He’s pulsing forward as if he is giving the rabbit sexual pleasures.}
Rabbit: frantic Billy it’s time for you to wake up now. I’m afraid you’ve lost control of this entire dream. Deathrows mind has completely taken over. But before I send you back, I need you to know one thing. You are what you want to be. Don’t be what can make you successful. Success comes from within, whether its scaring little children, pulverizing opponents with foreign objects or petting little bunny rabbits. Do what is right for Billy Kryenik now. Let the past be the past. The future is friendly.
{Billy nods, and the rabbit jumps out of Deathrows hands. It runs to Billy and bites him in the shin. Billy grabs his leg in pain.}
(Billy is tossing and turning in his bed. His eyes dart open and he shoots up out of his bed like a rocket. He’s looking around to make sense of the confusion. A little white rabbit sits down on the right hand corner of his bed. Kryenik rubs his eyes, red and swollen.)
Billy: A rabbit?
(Billy pulls the blankets down and sees the bite on his shin, as well as the ones on his hand.)
Billy: At least this one doesn’t have a kilt and bagpipes.
(He grabs the rabbit and gets out of bed. He stares out the window as the scene fade away.)