Dudes...Crimes...Beer?

[Sexy Rexy [REBEL]]

(Lights up. The Nexus One Sport’s Bar. The date is January 24th… just barely. It is shortly after midnight the evening after a hellacious three way ladder match for the NAPW Tag Team Titles. CAMERON SCOTT, STATIC, TIFFANY MACINTYRE, MIKE JOHNSTON and REX CALIBER sit around the table to a private booth near the back. Three empty pitchers suggest that there’s been drinking going on.)

CAM: (Stands) Lady… gentlemen! I’d like to propose a toast. To the ladder! May she ever climb onwards to glory! Salut!

MIKE: Salut!

REX: You know when I was getting hit in the head with that ladder, I didn't notice how silky smooth those legs we're. I think we should drink to the finest legs in NAPW.

(Rex holds up his drink in honor of the Ladder he had set up in the corner. He then goes over and rubs the legs some before returning to the table.)

REX: Hey who let the Hooker in here?

(Rex is staring at Static the whole time.)

STATIC: Hey, buddy... enough of that.

(Static wearily rises on spaghetti legs, holding up his brew.)

STATIC: Gentlemen, we put on a four-star classic tonight. Those Gastown losers may have taken our belts, but... they didn't take our hearts. Cheers.

CAM and MIKE: (In unison) Cheers!

REX: BEEER!!

(klink)

STATIC: Ahhh. Yesss. Where does it go from here, gents?

REX: I for one can see pretty clear who's the top contenders for the titles...

MIKE: Yesss! STORM!!!

(CAM and MIKE erupt into drunken laughter.)

REX: I was thinking The Crimes but you make a good point there!

CAM: Hey, now. The Crimes did rock out there tonight... but The Dudes... Mike flew into the third row! Third row!

REX: Look around who's bar is this... Yeah it's Static’s...and what he says goes!!

STATIC: Moment of Clarity off the ladder. That's what I've got to say. Game-set-match, Crimes.

REX: Dude, who's going to clean your bar man?

(Static laughs a little at Rex’s drunken stupor. Then looks to Tiffany.)

STATIC: Maybe she can.

(Tiffany's been quietly brooding this whole time, nursing a girly drink. She doesn't seem to hear the remark, and all four men find themselves staring at her expecting a rise. An awkward moment passes.)

REX: We are the former champs and we can prove it to any dinosaur that comes our way.

MIKE: That so? Well... as it happens.... the Crimes, have yet to face the Dudes one on one!

CAM: Whoa now! Let's be fair! You did "technically" beat Mike before Christmas.

MIKE: True... HEY!

REX: Another truth would be to state that Tiff has luscious hooters...and that the Crimes have never been pinned, in tag action. Have the Dude's been pinned Static?

STATIC: I don't think so... memory's a bit fuzzy now. Do we have an official NAPW archive in his bar, Rexxxx?

Rex: I got all the show's TIVO'D

(Rex fiddles with the remote for a few moments and gets it to the January 2nd Monday Night Fights.)

MIKE: Alright, alright. Yes, we've been pinned. But a D-X win barely counts because it's not a CLEAN pin.

CAM: Yeah. In fact, we've yet to be beaten FAIRLY in a single match.

REX: They didn't shower?

MIKE: You've been in the ring with Stylin' Kyle.

REX: He smelled like bears...

STATIC: Bear piss, maybe. You know, guys, we might have to get this situation sorted out. I mean, not NOW... (motions to his arm, in a sling) but maybe in a week or two. Dudes… Crimes.

REX: I think we could beat there asses this week!! Or even a year from now.

CAM: Ha! Well I think it's settled then! In this week. The Crimes versus The Dudes to find out who is exactly the better team.

MIKE: In a FAIR fight. No managers. No weapons. No cheating! Just... wrestling!

STATIC: Hey, guys... fair fight. We've been through a lot tonight, and y'know... you guys earned my respect. You want it in this week to prove if you can beat the Crimes: you're on.

CAM: Awesome!

MIKE: Cheers! (Raises mug)

STATIC: To the next four-star classic!

Rex: This match will be 6.5 Stars

(Tiffany, still staring into her drink, frowns.)

TIFFANY: I have someone to visit... goodnight guys.

(With that, she rises and excuses herself from the table. The Dudes watch her go quizzically.)

CAM: Shouldn't she be more excited than that?

REX: She knows she wants me to cover my bald head in oil and rub it all over her nakedly hot body.

MIKE: Uh.... riiiiiiiight.

STATIC: What's the deal, anyway, Mike?

MIKE: I really... don't know. She's been a weird headspace lately. I'd hate to think The Riddler's got to her.

STATIC: I think you've got to have a head up there to play mind games. I don't know... maybe her mom's in town and requires around the clock care. I know Rex's does!

CAM: OH! BURN!

(Exploding high fives between the four! Until Rex realizes the joke.)

REX: Hey...

(Rex gets mad and starts slinging beer.)

{an awesome colab with Dudes}