Post by Celtic Assassins on Jan 24, 2006 22:15:15 GMT -5
We are in a gym. A smaller man is struggling doing bench presses. But don't worry, he has the Celtic Assassins, "The Irish Adonis" Bobby O'Brady, and "The Scottish Wrecking Machine" Al Thoes, as spotters.
Thoes: Come on ya wanker! Four more!
O'Brady: My wee granny could do more than you!
The small man grunts, but manages to do four more. The Assassins notice they are on camera, and turn to talk to the NAPW audience, oblivious to the fact that the man they were spotting for now has the weight firmly across his throat. The man's legs kick like crazy as the Assassins begin their landmark first NAPW promo.
O'Brady: The time has come NAPW! No longer will we be whipping boys for Ravager. "The Irish Adonis" Bobby O'Brady, and "The Scottish Wrecking Machine", Al Thoes have joined forces, and together, we will take the NAPW by storm!
Thoes: Aye, we are ready for any and all challenges. And after watching Joker's Wild, there is only one challenge I can think of.
O'Brady: This Thursday, we are issuing a headlock challenge. Any man in the NAPW who thinks they have the strength to get out of the most powerful headlocks the wrestling world has ever seen, well, step up! Pick your man, myself or Al, and we'll slap a vice around your noggin' you'll never forget!
Thoes: (laughs) But that's Thursday! Monday Night however, the Celtic Assassins make their true mark on the NAPW Tag Team Division.
O'Brady: That's right... wait, we didn't discuss...
Thoes: Doomriders! You lads think you're all that?
O'Brady: Oh God, no...
Thoes: Well, I saw what you called "brutality" at Joker's Wild.
O'Brady is madly shaking his head and waving his hands, saying "NO!!!"
Thoes: Well, at Monday Night Fights, we'll give you a lesson in brutality. We challenge you, and that little skank you hang around with... to a street fight!
O'Brady just stares with open mouth shock.
Thoes: We're going to make an impression, ... on your skulls! At Monday Night Fights, the Celtic Assassins will make history!
O'Brady: (half weeping to himself) As the first tag team to die in the ring...
Thoes: (looking back at the young man, who is still flailing* ) Keep it up lad, and some day you'll be strong enough to challenge us!
O'Brady: (to Thoes) I thought you'd talk to me before you made challenges! This is bleedin' madness!
Thoes: You worry too much. What's the worst that could happen?
The look on O'Brady's face answers that question.
Fade to Black. The words " Celtic Assassins - The Invasion Begins Monday " Appear on the screen in white letters.
* Just so I don't get any corrections from any medical people, the weight is not across the man's windpipe, therefore he can still breathe and flail.
Thoes: Come on ya wanker! Four more!
O'Brady: My wee granny could do more than you!
The small man grunts, but manages to do four more. The Assassins notice they are on camera, and turn to talk to the NAPW audience, oblivious to the fact that the man they were spotting for now has the weight firmly across his throat. The man's legs kick like crazy as the Assassins begin their landmark first NAPW promo.
O'Brady: The time has come NAPW! No longer will we be whipping boys for Ravager. "The Irish Adonis" Bobby O'Brady, and "The Scottish Wrecking Machine", Al Thoes have joined forces, and together, we will take the NAPW by storm!
Thoes: Aye, we are ready for any and all challenges. And after watching Joker's Wild, there is only one challenge I can think of.
O'Brady: This Thursday, we are issuing a headlock challenge. Any man in the NAPW who thinks they have the strength to get out of the most powerful headlocks the wrestling world has ever seen, well, step up! Pick your man, myself or Al, and we'll slap a vice around your noggin' you'll never forget!
Thoes: (laughs) But that's Thursday! Monday Night however, the Celtic Assassins make their true mark on the NAPW Tag Team Division.
O'Brady: That's right... wait, we didn't discuss...
Thoes: Doomriders! You lads think you're all that?
O'Brady: Oh God, no...
Thoes: Well, I saw what you called "brutality" at Joker's Wild.
O'Brady is madly shaking his head and waving his hands, saying "NO!!!"
Thoes: Well, at Monday Night Fights, we'll give you a lesson in brutality. We challenge you, and that little skank you hang around with... to a street fight!
O'Brady just stares with open mouth shock.
Thoes: We're going to make an impression, ... on your skulls! At Monday Night Fights, the Celtic Assassins will make history!
O'Brady: (half weeping to himself) As the first tag team to die in the ring...
Thoes: (looking back at the young man, who is still flailing* ) Keep it up lad, and some day you'll be strong enough to challenge us!
O'Brady: (to Thoes) I thought you'd talk to me before you made challenges! This is bleedin' madness!
Thoes: You worry too much. What's the worst that could happen?
The look on O'Brady's face answers that question.
Fade to Black. The words " Celtic Assassins - The Invasion Begins Monday " Appear on the screen in white letters.
* Just so I don't get any corrections from any medical people, the weight is not across the man's windpipe, therefore he can still breathe and flail.