Post by The Decapitators on Jan 24, 2006 17:39:27 GMT -5
The black screen fades up to reveal the sparkly rendition of The Price is Right. The live audience goes crazy when the "Aplaud" light starts up.
In a firey blast the pyro on both side of the stage blasts up some neon pink-tinted fire. Rage Against the Machine blasts on the sound system.
The audience quiets down when the sound of that voice from SNL clearing his throat.
Welcome!! To the second edition of THE Decapitator's Happy-Time Variety Hour!!! Your musical guests tonight are THE SNITCHES!! (Crowd again goes crazy) And your very special guest....THE NEW NAPW CHAMPION D!!!! (There's gonna be some audience members who are going to lose their voice tonight!)
Diamond and Axe run onto the stage from opposite side of the stage. Today Axe is dressed in a Wolverine costume (the yellow spandex one) while Diamond is in a Superman costume.
Diamond: HELLO EDMONTON!!!
Axe: You ready for a show!!
Diamond: This is the greatest variety hour to date!!
Axe: D! is in the House!!
DING DONG!! It's the GUEST BELL!!
Diamond sneaks over to the wooden door with a frying pan in his hand while Axe motions with his finger for the audience to be quiet.
Diamond opens the door with his frying pan ready to strike. BAM!! Right to the skull! The person is holding their face in agony while blood flows from its skull. Axe has a look of sheer terror at the bleeding man.
Meanwhile, while Axe and Diamond are caring to the man with his hands over his face, D! steaks over from behind Axe with his own frying pan.
Axe turns around just in time to duck D!'s onslaught but leaves the man open to another hit to the scalp.
Diamond: Wait! If that's D!... then who's that?
Axe slumps the arms off the face to reveal the torn mask that D! was wearing on Joker's Wild! D! removes the luchador mask to reveal the crimson mask of......SIMON COWELL!!
Simon (very British and very pissed off!) : I came here to say crongratulations to Diamond for making it to the next round of American Idol. But now that I know how much of a barbaric brute he is, he will NEVER make it onto American Idol EVER again.
D!, feeling he was responsible for Diamond's disqualification, runs at Simon. Simon ducks but D! just turns around and forcefully applies a sleeper. Simon flails his arms for about three seconds....NYQUIL DRIVER!! onto the hard-wood floor of the stage. D! pins Simon. Diamond, still kneeling, slaps down the count. One...Two...THREE!
SNL Voice: Here is your winner and STILL NAPW Heavyweight Champion...D!!
Suddenly the stage goes pitch black and a spotlight aims at a empty part of the stage...
...Dramatic pause...
"RIIIIIIIIIIGHT --- BEFORE YOUR EYES!"
THE SNITCHES along with their intruments raise from a trap door and start to blast D!'s most favourite song.
D!, Diamond and Axe alond with the whole audience start moshing...
...And this my friend is The Decapitators Happy-Time Variety Hour!
Fades to black...
In a firey blast the pyro on both side of the stage blasts up some neon pink-tinted fire. Rage Against the Machine blasts on the sound system.
The audience quiets down when the sound of that voice from SNL clearing his throat.
Welcome!! To the second edition of THE Decapitator's Happy-Time Variety Hour!!! Your musical guests tonight are THE SNITCHES!! (Crowd again goes crazy) And your very special guest....THE NEW NAPW CHAMPION D!!!! (There's gonna be some audience members who are going to lose their voice tonight!)
Diamond and Axe run onto the stage from opposite side of the stage. Today Axe is dressed in a Wolverine costume (the yellow spandex one) while Diamond is in a Superman costume.
Diamond: HELLO EDMONTON!!!
Axe: You ready for a show!!
Diamond: This is the greatest variety hour to date!!
Axe: D! is in the House!!
DING DONG!! It's the GUEST BELL!!
Diamond sneaks over to the wooden door with a frying pan in his hand while Axe motions with his finger for the audience to be quiet.
Diamond opens the door with his frying pan ready to strike. BAM!! Right to the skull! The person is holding their face in agony while blood flows from its skull. Axe has a look of sheer terror at the bleeding man.
Meanwhile, while Axe and Diamond are caring to the man with his hands over his face, D! steaks over from behind Axe with his own frying pan.
Axe turns around just in time to duck D!'s onslaught but leaves the man open to another hit to the scalp.
Diamond: Wait! If that's D!... then who's that?
Axe slumps the arms off the face to reveal the torn mask that D! was wearing on Joker's Wild! D! removes the luchador mask to reveal the crimson mask of......SIMON COWELL!!
Simon (very British and very pissed off!) : I came here to say crongratulations to Diamond for making it to the next round of American Idol. But now that I know how much of a barbaric brute he is, he will NEVER make it onto American Idol EVER again.
D!, feeling he was responsible for Diamond's disqualification, runs at Simon. Simon ducks but D! just turns around and forcefully applies a sleeper. Simon flails his arms for about three seconds....NYQUIL DRIVER!! onto the hard-wood floor of the stage. D! pins Simon. Diamond, still kneeling, slaps down the count. One...Two...THREE!
SNL Voice: Here is your winner and STILL NAPW Heavyweight Champion...D!!
Suddenly the stage goes pitch black and a spotlight aims at a empty part of the stage...
...Dramatic pause...
"RIIIIIIIIIIGHT --- BEFORE YOUR EYES!"
THE SNITCHES along with their intruments raise from a trap door and start to blast D!'s most favourite song.
D!, Diamond and Axe alond with the whole audience start moshing...
...And this my friend is The Decapitators Happy-Time Variety Hour!
Fades to black...