Post by Chris Casino on Jan 21, 2006 23:15:42 GMT -5
- Jailhouse Blues -
Inside a not so plush jail cell we find our reigning NAPW Heavyweight Champion Chris Casino laying on a stained cot. He's dressed in a white wife beater tee shirt and faded blue jeans, the only clothes he could grab before the ever polite RCMP arrested him. Sitting on a bench across from Casino is a huge black man covered in scars and tattoos. His name is Bubba.
Bubba: So anyway, I grabbed this sum bitch and ripped off his god damn ear with my teeth! My TEETH n*gga! He was wailin' and cryin' like some little girl. Truth be told...That ear was kinda tasty. Like chicken. After that happened the party just kinda died.
Bubba shakes his head at his misfortune.
Casino: Yeah, that would tend to kill a party.
Bubba: So what the (BLEEP) you do?
Casino: (sighs) I sent someone roses.
Bubba: N*gga wha?
Casino: Yeah go figure. Kinda ironic though...I'll be in another cage tomorrow.
Bubba: Preach on brutha!
We hear a loud jumble of voices and pan over to see Terry Brandon and an Officer walking to the cage. Terry motions at the cell and the officer opens it.
Brandon: Come on champ, you made bail.
Casino climbs out of his cot, slaps hands with Bubba and steps out of his dungeon.
Bubba: (Shouting) Keep hope alive n*gga!
Casino throws him the "peace" sign with his fingers and vanishes down the hallway.
~ Outside ~
A black stretch limo pulls up to the front of the police station and stops. The front doors open and Casino and Terry Brandon hurry down the steps into the car. A light snow has begun to fall from the heavens.
~ The Limo ~
Terry Brandon hands a sweater over to his client who slips it on over his tee shirt. Casino pours himself a Vodka and takes a healthy sip.
Brandon: Can you belive this? D! got you arrested!
Casino: I wanna see his tape. I wanna see what this legal eagle has stuck up his ass.
Terry Brandon turns and punches a button on the small TV in the back of the limo. On screen we see D! at the press conference going over the details of Casino's supposed future.
Casino: What is this garbage? I knew D! was desperate but this? This is below even him. Turn that (BLEEP) off Brandon.
Brandon does as he's told and watches as Casino takes another sip of his Vodka.
Casino: D!, you insufferable little toad. I got no problems in going to jail, Lord knows I've seen my share. But for you to get me arrested over some playground juvenile (BLEEP) is ridiculous. Look at the lever you've sank to D!. You had me arrested NOT to punish me. You had my ass arrested to try and make me forfeit the belt so your scared ass wouldn't have to face me at Joker's Wild. What happened to you peanut? Did that reality check I sent you finally come in?
Let's call a spade a spade D!. I did some foul things to get into your head for our match at Joker's Wild. Am I sorry? Nope. However, while I was playing games with you and your fugly family, you got the bright idea of turning someones sorrow into your gain. Here you are, preaching about this chick who killed herself and what do you do? YOU turn around and use her to help screw me over. You sank to the level of using this person who you claimed you loved in an effort to have me out of the way and out of Joker's Wild. Well, it failed. Just like everything else you do, it turned out to be a dud. What do you want D!? You want me to Fed Ex your sorry ass the NAPW Title?
Why don't you just tell the truth bitch. You're scared. You know I'm gonna whip that ass tomorrow. In fact, I'm really gonna whip your sorry ass tomorrow for stickin' me in some jail cell. This isn't a "mind game" or some clever ruse to get me off my game for tomorrow. This is a flat out attempt to STEAL the NAPW title. You would rather have this company hand you the belt than to face me. How pathetic. You might call me a bastard D!, but the one thing I'm not is a coward. I've never resorted to such ignorant shit to skate by someone who I thought could beat me. I just hope your fans and your family finally see what a selfish dick you are.
Terry is scribbling something on his notepad.
Brandon: What about those "conditions" D! was talking about?
Casino: (BLEEP) him. And that dead girls family. Bad enough D! tries to get me to forfeit my title to him, but he wants my damn money too? He's out of his stupid Canadian head.
Brandon: We'll have to go to court.
Casino: So? We'll beat it. It's a toothpick case Brandon. I'm a man of extreme means and I won't need Team OJ to help me. D!'s such a little coward that he wants me out of NAPW and Canada, then let's drag his ass to court. Hell, let's drag everyone to court. It's the American way.
Brandon: Maybe we should talk to some of your lawyers?
Casino: Negative. D! tried to screw me tonight. Not in the way he usually fantasizes about I'm sure but he tried to screw me nonetheless. What kind of hypocrite tries to make his opponent forfeit a title? A scared one that's who. What kind of man goes after that kind of money? A jealous one, consumed with envy. D!'s little charade is a prime example of why he should NEVER hold the NAPW title again. He's crazy.
Brandon: You think you'll be rested enough to face him tomorrow, er, today at Joker's Wild?
Casino laughs and his eyes go hard.
Casino: D! can throw everything he can at me and I'll still show up. I am the NAPW Champ and I swear to you Brandon, that after Joker's Wild is done with. I'll STILL be the champion. If D! survives tomorrow intact I have some plans to put into effect to counter attack his little "People's Court" horse (BLEEP).
Brandon: Nothing, uh, happened to you in jail did it?
Casino: What!? You've been listening to Kyle Roberts tell road stories to much. The worst thing about being in jail was the fact I got pinched for such a stupid reason.
Brandon: So everything is still set for tomorrow?
Casino: Yeah...D! will fall. And Casino will rule the world. Bet on it Brandon. Bet on it.
- cut to a commercial for Jacobs bail bonds! Open 23 hours a day! -
Inside a not so plush jail cell we find our reigning NAPW Heavyweight Champion Chris Casino laying on a stained cot. He's dressed in a white wife beater tee shirt and faded blue jeans, the only clothes he could grab before the ever polite RCMP arrested him. Sitting on a bench across from Casino is a huge black man covered in scars and tattoos. His name is Bubba.
Bubba: So anyway, I grabbed this sum bitch and ripped off his god damn ear with my teeth! My TEETH n*gga! He was wailin' and cryin' like some little girl. Truth be told...That ear was kinda tasty. Like chicken. After that happened the party just kinda died.
Bubba shakes his head at his misfortune.
Casino: Yeah, that would tend to kill a party.
Bubba: So what the (BLEEP) you do?
Casino: (sighs) I sent someone roses.
Bubba: N*gga wha?
Casino: Yeah go figure. Kinda ironic though...I'll be in another cage tomorrow.
Bubba: Preach on brutha!
We hear a loud jumble of voices and pan over to see Terry Brandon and an Officer walking to the cage. Terry motions at the cell and the officer opens it.
Brandon: Come on champ, you made bail.
Casino climbs out of his cot, slaps hands with Bubba and steps out of his dungeon.
Bubba: (Shouting) Keep hope alive n*gga!
Casino throws him the "peace" sign with his fingers and vanishes down the hallway.
~ Outside ~
A black stretch limo pulls up to the front of the police station and stops. The front doors open and Casino and Terry Brandon hurry down the steps into the car. A light snow has begun to fall from the heavens.
~ The Limo ~
Terry Brandon hands a sweater over to his client who slips it on over his tee shirt. Casino pours himself a Vodka and takes a healthy sip.
Brandon: Can you belive this? D! got you arrested!
Casino: I wanna see his tape. I wanna see what this legal eagle has stuck up his ass.
Terry Brandon turns and punches a button on the small TV in the back of the limo. On screen we see D! at the press conference going over the details of Casino's supposed future.
Casino: What is this garbage? I knew D! was desperate but this? This is below even him. Turn that (BLEEP) off Brandon.
Brandon does as he's told and watches as Casino takes another sip of his Vodka.
Casino: D!, you insufferable little toad. I got no problems in going to jail, Lord knows I've seen my share. But for you to get me arrested over some playground juvenile (BLEEP) is ridiculous. Look at the lever you've sank to D!. You had me arrested NOT to punish me. You had my ass arrested to try and make me forfeit the belt so your scared ass wouldn't have to face me at Joker's Wild. What happened to you peanut? Did that reality check I sent you finally come in?
Let's call a spade a spade D!. I did some foul things to get into your head for our match at Joker's Wild. Am I sorry? Nope. However, while I was playing games with you and your fugly family, you got the bright idea of turning someones sorrow into your gain. Here you are, preaching about this chick who killed herself and what do you do? YOU turn around and use her to help screw me over. You sank to the level of using this person who you claimed you loved in an effort to have me out of the way and out of Joker's Wild. Well, it failed. Just like everything else you do, it turned out to be a dud. What do you want D!? You want me to Fed Ex your sorry ass the NAPW Title?
Why don't you just tell the truth bitch. You're scared. You know I'm gonna whip that ass tomorrow. In fact, I'm really gonna whip your sorry ass tomorrow for stickin' me in some jail cell. This isn't a "mind game" or some clever ruse to get me off my game for tomorrow. This is a flat out attempt to STEAL the NAPW title. You would rather have this company hand you the belt than to face me. How pathetic. You might call me a bastard D!, but the one thing I'm not is a coward. I've never resorted to such ignorant shit to skate by someone who I thought could beat me. I just hope your fans and your family finally see what a selfish dick you are.
Terry is scribbling something on his notepad.
Brandon: What about those "conditions" D! was talking about?
Casino: (BLEEP) him. And that dead girls family. Bad enough D! tries to get me to forfeit my title to him, but he wants my damn money too? He's out of his stupid Canadian head.
Brandon: We'll have to go to court.
Casino: So? We'll beat it. It's a toothpick case Brandon. I'm a man of extreme means and I won't need Team OJ to help me. D!'s such a little coward that he wants me out of NAPW and Canada, then let's drag his ass to court. Hell, let's drag everyone to court. It's the American way.
Brandon: Maybe we should talk to some of your lawyers?
Casino: Negative. D! tried to screw me tonight. Not in the way he usually fantasizes about I'm sure but he tried to screw me nonetheless. What kind of hypocrite tries to make his opponent forfeit a title? A scared one that's who. What kind of man goes after that kind of money? A jealous one, consumed with envy. D!'s little charade is a prime example of why he should NEVER hold the NAPW title again. He's crazy.
Brandon: You think you'll be rested enough to face him tomorrow, er, today at Joker's Wild?
Casino laughs and his eyes go hard.
Casino: D! can throw everything he can at me and I'll still show up. I am the NAPW Champ and I swear to you Brandon, that after Joker's Wild is done with. I'll STILL be the champion. If D! survives tomorrow intact I have some plans to put into effect to counter attack his little "People's Court" horse (BLEEP).
Brandon: Nothing, uh, happened to you in jail did it?
Casino: What!? You've been listening to Kyle Roberts tell road stories to much. The worst thing about being in jail was the fact I got pinched for such a stupid reason.
Brandon: So everything is still set for tomorrow?
Casino: Yeah...D! will fall. And Casino will rule the world. Bet on it Brandon. Bet on it.
- cut to a commercial for Jacobs bail bonds! Open 23 hours a day! -