Post by Stone Zellor on Jan 20, 2006 13:56:00 GMT -5
[The scene opens in the West Edmonton Mall, where J.C. Cook is currently in HMV, looking through the albums again. Strikingly reminiscent of the first time we met Cook, he's in his black Led Zeppelin t-shirt, ragged flared jeans and his hair just has that bounce to it. He's looking through the 'D' section of the albums, nonchalantly flipping through a couple as he begins to speak]
J.C.:
I have a rule in my life that I try to follow as much as possible man, and I suggest you try this one. Before you lie to or talk absolute crap about someone, think how it might come back to bite you in the ass. I don't look for the mental edge over my delirious opponents, and all I did was say you're half the man that Misery was... What's wrong with that? And, fine you're scared to accept the ban of Terry Brandon, I understand that. I'd be scared of me too. J.C. Cook is one scary little man. I mean, when you've won ALL of your matches all on your lonesome, I just thought that banning that prat from ringside might be okay with you. Apparently I was wrong. Apparently I should be able to trust you because of all the 'respect' you showed me. You think that calling me a "dangerous opponent" is respect? Oh yeah, sock it to me. That's just being honest, which by the way, for your information, doesn't seem to be something you do a lot. So a round of applause for you..
[Cook claps a few times, then picks up an album. 'The Doors' by 'The Doors']
Ooh, this is a good one and only thirty-eight years old. Just how you like them isn't it Minstrel?
[Pause]
No, that wasn't as funny as I hoped. There's nothing insulting about being or liking thirty-eight year olds. But I mean, look at this. 'Break On Through', 'The Alabama Song', 'Light My Fire' and 'The End' all on one album. And soon it will be mine.
[He puts the album on the top of the rack as he continues flicking through the rest]
Because, as I see it through my rose-tinted glasses... Man, I would look good in rose coloured glasses... But as I see it, man, oh ye of little faith, a win is a win no matter how you do it. But even you have to admit that a clean win, like mine, mean a damn sight more than your cheating victories. I'm not taking anything away from you, because I know you're reply, but I'm right. I win, I always do!
[Cook laughs at his impression of The Minstrel doing his Will Ferrell reference]
I mean, you've got tricks. But I can do something you can't... Balloon animals. Because I've seen you do your fancy little card tricks...
[Cook stops as he pulls out a copy of 'Morrison Hotel']
Ah, cool. I'm getting this one just for 'Peace Frog'...
[And he puts the CD on top of the previous]
But, as I was saying, I've seen your fancy card tricks, and quite frankly it took a lot of the impact away from what you were saying. It was distracting and all I could hear was my thoughts, and how I was thinking how you couldn't get another two. But, then you got another and two and I thought you couldn't get four of a kind. But I'll be, you got the fourth one. That was a bit of luck Minny, do you mind if I call Minny? Minstrel's just a bit too much to have keep saying over and over again... You know how it is...
[Cook picks up one more CD before making his way over towards one of the tills]
And by the way, when you say all of your wins have been won by yourself, you're either forgetting or not including last week when Terry Brandon pushed Maniac off when the ref wasn't looking... I just needed to correct you there.
I mean, I know you're the Provincial champ and obviously you can win matches when you have to. But you were, oh lets say five seconds away from being beaten last week. And thank you for correcting me... But you're one of the lucky ones in the NAPW Minny. Firstly you have never, ever been on the receiving end of a Pressure Cooker. Good thing too. Secondly, you're about to step in the ring with the best thing to come out of Kenosha, Wisconsin in over fifty years, and that Minny, equals good times. As I thrash you around from pillar to post like the half-wit that you are people will be saying things like... "wow, The Minstrel can really take a punch" and "that Minstrel is taking a beating today"... See, they'll know your name. They may even know it now, after all you're about to go toe to toe with me, and the people of Edmonton love me...
Man In Queue:
I don't love you.
J.C.:
Shut up, you're ruining the effect!
[And with that the scene comes to an end with the traditional fade-to-black]
J.C.:
I have a rule in my life that I try to follow as much as possible man, and I suggest you try this one. Before you lie to or talk absolute crap about someone, think how it might come back to bite you in the ass. I don't look for the mental edge over my delirious opponents, and all I did was say you're half the man that Misery was... What's wrong with that? And, fine you're scared to accept the ban of Terry Brandon, I understand that. I'd be scared of me too. J.C. Cook is one scary little man. I mean, when you've won ALL of your matches all on your lonesome, I just thought that banning that prat from ringside might be okay with you. Apparently I was wrong. Apparently I should be able to trust you because of all the 'respect' you showed me. You think that calling me a "dangerous opponent" is respect? Oh yeah, sock it to me. That's just being honest, which by the way, for your information, doesn't seem to be something you do a lot. So a round of applause for you..
[Cook claps a few times, then picks up an album. 'The Doors' by 'The Doors']
Ooh, this is a good one and only thirty-eight years old. Just how you like them isn't it Minstrel?
[Pause]
No, that wasn't as funny as I hoped. There's nothing insulting about being or liking thirty-eight year olds. But I mean, look at this. 'Break On Through', 'The Alabama Song', 'Light My Fire' and 'The End' all on one album. And soon it will be mine.
[He puts the album on the top of the rack as he continues flicking through the rest]
Because, as I see it through my rose-tinted glasses... Man, I would look good in rose coloured glasses... But as I see it, man, oh ye of little faith, a win is a win no matter how you do it. But even you have to admit that a clean win, like mine, mean a damn sight more than your cheating victories. I'm not taking anything away from you, because I know you're reply, but I'm right. I win, I always do!
[Cook laughs at his impression of The Minstrel doing his Will Ferrell reference]
I mean, you've got tricks. But I can do something you can't... Balloon animals. Because I've seen you do your fancy little card tricks...
[Cook stops as he pulls out a copy of 'Morrison Hotel']
Ah, cool. I'm getting this one just for 'Peace Frog'...
[And he puts the CD on top of the previous]
But, as I was saying, I've seen your fancy card tricks, and quite frankly it took a lot of the impact away from what you were saying. It was distracting and all I could hear was my thoughts, and how I was thinking how you couldn't get another two. But, then you got another and two and I thought you couldn't get four of a kind. But I'll be, you got the fourth one. That was a bit of luck Minny, do you mind if I call Minny? Minstrel's just a bit too much to have keep saying over and over again... You know how it is...
[Cook picks up one more CD before making his way over towards one of the tills]
And by the way, when you say all of your wins have been won by yourself, you're either forgetting or not including last week when Terry Brandon pushed Maniac off when the ref wasn't looking... I just needed to correct you there.
I mean, I know you're the Provincial champ and obviously you can win matches when you have to. But you were, oh lets say five seconds away from being beaten last week. And thank you for correcting me... But you're one of the lucky ones in the NAPW Minny. Firstly you have never, ever been on the receiving end of a Pressure Cooker. Good thing too. Secondly, you're about to step in the ring with the best thing to come out of Kenosha, Wisconsin in over fifty years, and that Minny, equals good times. As I thrash you around from pillar to post like the half-wit that you are people will be saying things like... "wow, The Minstrel can really take a punch" and "that Minstrel is taking a beating today"... See, they'll know your name. They may even know it now, after all you're about to go toe to toe with me, and the people of Edmonton love me...
Man In Queue:
I don't love you.
J.C.:
Shut up, you're ruining the effect!
[And with that the scene comes to an end with the traditional fade-to-black]