![Sexy Rexy [REBEL] Avatar](http://stickersandsigns.com/data_images/REBEL_PRIDE-0040.jpg)
Post by Sexy Rexy [REBEL] on Jan 18, 2006 21:15:02 GMT -5
(Fade in. You would think it's been an emotionally turbulant week or two for the NAPW Tag Team Chmapions, the Crimes, but by the looks of things here at the Nexus One Sports Club in Edmonton, you'd be dead wrong. Think: red carpet, spotlights, Playboy-caliber models, Hummer limos, a line around the block to get in, the works. Static may be a head case, but Rex clearly knows how to par-tay. The event, as shown by a threatre-style marquee next to the doors advertising "JOKER'S WILD PRE-PARTY 1/17 8PM - GET DOWN WITH THE CHAMPS." Outside the doors, desperate to get in with his NAPW press pass, is the buzzkill, Josh Reynolds, doing a piece for NAPW TV on the party. An enormous, all-black Hummer-style limo pulls up right in front of the red carpet, and the crowd oohs and aaahs with anticipation. The door's opened, and out walks the last five Playboy Playmates of the Year, followed by THE CHAMPS! Rex Caliber's dressed in a tuxedo, sans sleeves, his belt, and a shit-eating grin on his face. Static, looking slightly uncomfortable, rocks the casual look, with his tag belt over his shoulder. Josh Reynolds fights through the crowd to get next to Rex.)
JOSH: REX, STATIC... CRIMES, CRIMES! CAN I GET A WORD! CRIMES! NAPW TV, JOSH REYNOLDS... hey, those aren't checks and balances! REX, CAN I GET A WORD!
REX CALIBER: Damn right... come on in, Josh, and watch true champions live it up in style. No interviewing us, though... take the night off and enjoy yourself.
(Walking through the double doors, there's a huge stage set up in the club where live talent will be performing tonight. Gorgeous women clearly outnumber the gorgeous men, because they go ...where money goes. Where money goes... women follow. The metal band DOPE is playing tonight, and a lot of people showed up for that as well. Rex has clearly spent a lot of money for this event. Rex and Static are led to their special, private section, guided by security and babes.)
REX CALIBER: Static, let me ask you... can it get any better than this? Tag Team Champions, living it up in style. You've got to admit that you're loving this atmosphere, c'mon now.
STATIC: It's... uh, well, I'll say this: it's a lot better than getting hit in the head with a chair.
REX CALIBER: WOOO! You ain't kiddin'... I've done took like, six this past week and half. Needed something to take the edge off, yanno? Nothing better than metal music, sluts, booze, and sluts. And sluts!
(Before Static can respond with a hint of disgust on his face, a scantily-clad woman runs up to Rex, screechy voice a-blarin'. The two apparently have known each other for a while, but their happiness in seeing each other indicates that they haven't met for a while.)
LADY: (they kiss hello) REXIE, BABY! I haven't seen you since GWA against Jacob Jacobs, how are ya, sugar?!
REX CALIBER: Cynthia, darling... you look absolutely breath taking. (Camera pans out to see that Rex has been staring at her chest since she first walked up.) Are those new? They're incredible.
CYNTHIA: Why, yes they are... thanks, sugar. I got them before doing some auditions in LA. I'm here with some of the girls. They're raving about this place... and then I find out who the owner is! You must be doing well for yourself, then?
REX CALIBER: Well, I AM quite the celebrity around here. Hell, they're saying I could have a street named after myself soon, like Wayne Gretzky!
STATIC: Yeah, just like Wayne, some gentleman you are... hey, toots, I think I see a some Hollywood director over there, why don't you go "ask" him to be in one his films, huh?
(She kisses Rex goodbye, frowns at Static, and walks off.)
REX CALIBER: Ugh. You really can't just relax here, can you? (awkward silence) I can't believe she got some fake tits! Those things were huge!
STATIC: Yeah, enough to put an eye out.
(Another uncomfortable silence.)
REX CALIBER: Hey, doc, what's a matter... you don't look too happy to be here. Huh? Ah, well. Hey, I got a special surprise, just to cheer you up. You ready? Huh? Yeah you can't wait, can you!?
STATIC: Ah... sure, what else can go wrong. Go ahead, Rex.
REX CALIBER: Follow me, then, pal, we got a crowd to entertain!
(Static slowly gets up and follows Rex, walking on the sticky, beer-soaked floor through the crowd. Some of the partygoers notice the pair and shout. They make it to the main stage just in time for DOPE's intermission.)
STATIC: I don't know about this, man, I'm more comfortable in the ring...
REX CALIBER: It's okay, man. This'll be fun, trust me. (Rex takes the mic off of a wayward stand) Welcome, happy patrons! To the -ultimate- NAPW Joker's Wild pre-party. (pause for cheers and applause) I'm your host, Rex Caliber...(POP!) and if you didn't know that, then you need to leave right now. I'm not kidding, go.
(A couple of honest souls in the back make their way towards the exit.)
REX CALIBER: That's better. So, Joker's Wild. You have heard by now, that the man to my right, the one and only Static... (scattered boos) and myself, collectively the Crimes (scattered cheers) will be competing in a triple-threat ladder match for -OUR- TAG TEAM TITLES! (POP) Against the Dudes! (POP!) and the Old, and Needs MUCH Improvement, DX! (BOOS!)
Yes, yes... I know. Now, some of you may have seen the Dudes' musical earlier today on NAPW TV, am I right? (POP for comedy!) And yeah, I'll admit that it was good...
(Static's fidgeting.)
REX CALIBER: But my man right here, Static, he's no slouch in the music department, either! Hit it, Jack!
(The camera zooms into one of the bar's many HDTVs, which are now playing Bill Fleming and Static's never-before-seen MUSIC VIDEO rendition of that gold country hit of theirs, "Get On My Level!" The crowd is going bananas with laughter, as Static can only shake his head and chuckle at the silliness. Rex, meanwhile, is getting the crowd even more psyched as the tape finishes off.)
REX CALIBER: WOO! YA GOTTA GET OWWWWWNNN, OUR LEVEL! YEEHAHAH! So I figured, hey, why let the DUDES have all the fun, huh?! Y'all wanna see the musical stylings of the Nexus One?! Hit it, Jack!
(Instead of country, this time, an early 90's-style, cheesy rap beat starts to echo throughout the Nexus One Sports Club. Rex goes behind a curtain for a second, and comes out wearing an old-school Adias track suit, and way too much fake jewelry around his neck. Rex is double-clutching the mic, as Static is trying to hide in the stage's few shadowy areas. The crowd doesn't know weather to be vomiting or laughing. Some are responding by doing both. At the same time.)
REX CALIBER: YO, YO, y'all... I'm 'bout to teach you right here, 'bout the Crimes, knamean? Throw your hands up, just like this! Like this! Now wave 'em side to side! 'Bout to bust, y'all, heregoes, like thiiiiisss!
YO, the name is Rex, I'm a bald-headed lunatic / You see the Nexus One, y'all start to get sick / D-X can't beat us, they're DUDE fanatics! / They suck worse than a party thrown by STATIC!
(OOOHH! The crowd reacts to the dis, 8 MILE STYLE!)
Uh huh... now lemme tell you 'bout the Dudes, right... TIFF, she's their manager / She's so damn fat / One sniff of the air, y'all know where she's at / That aroma... sausages? Is that a porkchop in her hat? / I'd invite her in the ring but she'd COLLAPSE the MAT!
(Oooh...)
STATIC: Uh, Rex...
REX CALIBER: D-X! They're frontin' all, New and Improved? / Last time they fought Rex, they got their belts removed / Better NOT show up at Joker's / Then they'll need to have their FOOD CHEWED... / but yo, back to the Dudes...
(Oooh...)
Cam and Mike, held the belts for like, THREE WEEKS / They've been here, two months? Already reached their peak / Lookin' like a lame version of Immortal 'n' Technique / Someone send 'em a paddle, they're BOTH up shit's creek!
(Uh oh...)
STATIC: Hey, Rex...
REX CALIBER: Ladder, Dudes, the Crimes, OH MY! / D-X is wrestling too, but I can't remember why / Them bein' here just makes me wanna cry / I'm gonna be a newspaper, they'll be the FLY!
We gets no respect! They don't care if we no-show! / We could climb that ladder, quick, and nobody'd know / We'll beat all y'all, every single foe / Only guy crazier than us, his name is Deathrow!
STATIC: HEY, REX!
(Rex is totally in "battle rap" mode now, not even paying attention to the crowd. He's off in his own world, a world where you only get one shot... one opportunity... to seize everything you ever wanted. Is he going to capture it?... or just let it slip?)
REX CALIBER: A ladder to the head! A kick to the face! / Dudes, D-X, you better bring spiked mace! / Go back to the drawing board, back to home base! / After Joker's, the gavel sounds, that's the end of this CASE!
STATIC: REX, YOU SONOFABITCH!
REX CALIBER: WHAT, MAN?! WHAT? I'M TRYING TO SEIZE MY DREams oh wait...
(The dance floor is totally deserted of human life. Only cups and crumbs litter the Nexus One Sports Club now. Even the bartender's gone, having put up a sign by the peanuts: "BACK IN 15 MIN.")
REX CALIBER: Where'd everybody go... ?
(With only one light on, the stage light, Static walks off and turns it off as he leaves. Rex is left alone, in the dark, with only a microphone as company. Fade out.)
STATIC: -So- not on my level...
REX CALIBER: Aww...
JOSH: REX, STATIC... CRIMES, CRIMES! CAN I GET A WORD! CRIMES! NAPW TV, JOSH REYNOLDS... hey, those aren't checks and balances! REX, CAN I GET A WORD!
REX CALIBER: Damn right... come on in, Josh, and watch true champions live it up in style. No interviewing us, though... take the night off and enjoy yourself.
(Walking through the double doors, there's a huge stage set up in the club where live talent will be performing tonight. Gorgeous women clearly outnumber the gorgeous men, because they go ...where money goes. Where money goes... women follow. The metal band DOPE is playing tonight, and a lot of people showed up for that as well. Rex has clearly spent a lot of money for this event. Rex and Static are led to their special, private section, guided by security and babes.)
REX CALIBER: Static, let me ask you... can it get any better than this? Tag Team Champions, living it up in style. You've got to admit that you're loving this atmosphere, c'mon now.
STATIC: It's... uh, well, I'll say this: it's a lot better than getting hit in the head with a chair.
REX CALIBER: WOOO! You ain't kiddin'... I've done took like, six this past week and half. Needed something to take the edge off, yanno? Nothing better than metal music, sluts, booze, and sluts. And sluts!
(Before Static can respond with a hint of disgust on his face, a scantily-clad woman runs up to Rex, screechy voice a-blarin'. The two apparently have known each other for a while, but their happiness in seeing each other indicates that they haven't met for a while.)
LADY: (they kiss hello) REXIE, BABY! I haven't seen you since GWA against Jacob Jacobs, how are ya, sugar?!
REX CALIBER: Cynthia, darling... you look absolutely breath taking. (Camera pans out to see that Rex has been staring at her chest since she first walked up.) Are those new? They're incredible.
CYNTHIA: Why, yes they are... thanks, sugar. I got them before doing some auditions in LA. I'm here with some of the girls. They're raving about this place... and then I find out who the owner is! You must be doing well for yourself, then?
REX CALIBER: Well, I AM quite the celebrity around here. Hell, they're saying I could have a street named after myself soon, like Wayne Gretzky!
STATIC: Yeah, just like Wayne, some gentleman you are... hey, toots, I think I see a some Hollywood director over there, why don't you go "ask" him to be in one his films, huh?
(She kisses Rex goodbye, frowns at Static, and walks off.)
REX CALIBER: Ugh. You really can't just relax here, can you? (awkward silence) I can't believe she got some fake tits! Those things were huge!
STATIC: Yeah, enough to put an eye out.
(Another uncomfortable silence.)
REX CALIBER: Hey, doc, what's a matter... you don't look too happy to be here. Huh? Ah, well. Hey, I got a special surprise, just to cheer you up. You ready? Huh? Yeah you can't wait, can you!?
STATIC: Ah... sure, what else can go wrong. Go ahead, Rex.
REX CALIBER: Follow me, then, pal, we got a crowd to entertain!
(Static slowly gets up and follows Rex, walking on the sticky, beer-soaked floor through the crowd. Some of the partygoers notice the pair and shout. They make it to the main stage just in time for DOPE's intermission.)
STATIC: I don't know about this, man, I'm more comfortable in the ring...
REX CALIBER: It's okay, man. This'll be fun, trust me. (Rex takes the mic off of a wayward stand) Welcome, happy patrons! To the -ultimate- NAPW Joker's Wild pre-party. (pause for cheers and applause) I'm your host, Rex Caliber...(POP!) and if you didn't know that, then you need to leave right now. I'm not kidding, go.
(A couple of honest souls in the back make their way towards the exit.)
REX CALIBER: That's better. So, Joker's Wild. You have heard by now, that the man to my right, the one and only Static... (scattered boos) and myself, collectively the Crimes (scattered cheers) will be competing in a triple-threat ladder match for -OUR- TAG TEAM TITLES! (POP) Against the Dudes! (POP!) and the Old, and Needs MUCH Improvement, DX! (BOOS!)
Yes, yes... I know. Now, some of you may have seen the Dudes' musical earlier today on NAPW TV, am I right? (POP for comedy!) And yeah, I'll admit that it was good...
(Static's fidgeting.)
REX CALIBER: But my man right here, Static, he's no slouch in the music department, either! Hit it, Jack!
(The camera zooms into one of the bar's many HDTVs, which are now playing Bill Fleming and Static's never-before-seen MUSIC VIDEO rendition of that gold country hit of theirs, "Get On My Level!" The crowd is going bananas with laughter, as Static can only shake his head and chuckle at the silliness. Rex, meanwhile, is getting the crowd even more psyched as the tape finishes off.)
REX CALIBER: WOO! YA GOTTA GET OWWWWWNNN, OUR LEVEL! YEEHAHAH! So I figured, hey, why let the DUDES have all the fun, huh?! Y'all wanna see the musical stylings of the Nexus One?! Hit it, Jack!
(Instead of country, this time, an early 90's-style, cheesy rap beat starts to echo throughout the Nexus One Sports Club. Rex goes behind a curtain for a second, and comes out wearing an old-school Adias track suit, and way too much fake jewelry around his neck. Rex is double-clutching the mic, as Static is trying to hide in the stage's few shadowy areas. The crowd doesn't know weather to be vomiting or laughing. Some are responding by doing both. At the same time.)
REX CALIBER: YO, YO, y'all... I'm 'bout to teach you right here, 'bout the Crimes, knamean? Throw your hands up, just like this! Like this! Now wave 'em side to side! 'Bout to bust, y'all, heregoes, like thiiiiisss!
YO, the name is Rex, I'm a bald-headed lunatic / You see the Nexus One, y'all start to get sick / D-X can't beat us, they're DUDE fanatics! / They suck worse than a party thrown by STATIC!
(OOOHH! The crowd reacts to the dis, 8 MILE STYLE!)
Uh huh... now lemme tell you 'bout the Dudes, right... TIFF, she's their manager / She's so damn fat / One sniff of the air, y'all know where she's at / That aroma... sausages? Is that a porkchop in her hat? / I'd invite her in the ring but she'd COLLAPSE the MAT!
(Oooh...)
STATIC: Uh, Rex...
REX CALIBER: D-X! They're frontin' all, New and Improved? / Last time they fought Rex, they got their belts removed / Better NOT show up at Joker's / Then they'll need to have their FOOD CHEWED... / but yo, back to the Dudes...
(Oooh...)
Cam and Mike, held the belts for like, THREE WEEKS / They've been here, two months? Already reached their peak / Lookin' like a lame version of Immortal 'n' Technique / Someone send 'em a paddle, they're BOTH up shit's creek!
(Uh oh...)
STATIC: Hey, Rex...
REX CALIBER: Ladder, Dudes, the Crimes, OH MY! / D-X is wrestling too, but I can't remember why / Them bein' here just makes me wanna cry / I'm gonna be a newspaper, they'll be the FLY!
We gets no respect! They don't care if we no-show! / We could climb that ladder, quick, and nobody'd know / We'll beat all y'all, every single foe / Only guy crazier than us, his name is Deathrow!
STATIC: HEY, REX!
(Rex is totally in "battle rap" mode now, not even paying attention to the crowd. He's off in his own world, a world where you only get one shot... one opportunity... to seize everything you ever wanted. Is he going to capture it?... or just let it slip?)
REX CALIBER: A ladder to the head! A kick to the face! / Dudes, D-X, you better bring spiked mace! / Go back to the drawing board, back to home base! / After Joker's, the gavel sounds, that's the end of this CASE!
STATIC: REX, YOU SONOFABITCH!
REX CALIBER: WHAT, MAN?! WHAT? I'M TRYING TO SEIZE MY DREams oh wait...
(The dance floor is totally deserted of human life. Only cups and crumbs litter the Nexus One Sports Club now. Even the bartender's gone, having put up a sign by the peanuts: "BACK IN 15 MIN.")
REX CALIBER: Where'd everybody go... ?
(With only one light on, the stage light, Static walks off and turns it off as he leaves. Rex is left alone, in the dark, with only a microphone as company. Fade out.)
STATIC: -So- not on my level...
REX CALIBER: Aww...