Post by "Sick" Billy Kryenik on Jan 17, 2006 18:23:30 GMT -5
Narrator: Three Men, One Girl, One large bottle of Liquor. An adventure of epic proportion.
(Scene cuts to three men are riding in a van giggling to themselves as they ride the open roads of Montana.)
Man #1: This is Mike and Welcome to the Bang Bus!
Man #2: YEAAUUHH!!!
Man #3: Bang Bus!
Mike: This is Todd.
Todd: BANG BUS!!!
Man #3: YEAAUHH!!!
Mike: And this is Brad!
Brad: You’re all on the Bang Bus!
Mike: Now today on the Bang Bus we’re going to pick up some more hotties to take advantage of. We got out good friend Johnny Walker here to play lead off for us!
(Mike holds up a large bottle of Johnny Walker to the camera)
Mike: Lets see what we can dish up today.
(Mike, Todd and Brad are all sitting around with no shirts on as Brad drives the van. Mike is riding shotgun and there is a large open gap between the front two seats and the back seat where Todd is sitting with the camera. Mike pulls out four shot glasses and films them up to the brim with Walkers finest.)
Mike: One for me. One for Todd. One for Brad and One for the whore!
Todd: The whore!
Brad: Whore!!
Mike: Ok guys calm down, it’s like you’ve never gotten a woman drunk and had sex with her before.
Brad: Oh yeah.
Todd: Walk in the par… BANG BUS!!!
(Todd stomps his feet wildly.)
Mike: Calm down back there! No Bang Bus for you Todd!
Todd: Noooo!
Mike: Well then keep that small bleep bleep bleep of yours in your pants and settle down! Here take this…
(Mike hands him a shot of Johnny Walker. Off camera you hear *gulp* followed by an “ahh. That’s Good.”)
Todd: WOOO!
Mike: Better?
Todd: Much!
(Mike points to a girl walking down the side of the road.)
Mike: There’s one!!!
Brad: Here’s the money!
(Brad hands Mike a big wad of cash. He slows down the van and the pull up to the girl. She looks to be roughly 28 – 29 with long brown hair, full lips and a great body. Mike rolls down his window and startles the girl.)
Mike: Hi there.
Girl: Hi….?
Mike: My names Mike what’s yours?
Girl: Michelle.
Mike: M & M, we’d make a good combo you know.
(The girl chuckles to herself and smiles.)
Michelle: Nice pick up line. I like Smarties honey.
Mike: Maybe you’d settle for a Big Turk?
(Laughter comes from the Bang Bus.)
Michelle: Clever. What do you want?
Mike: A little bit of your time for fame and fortune.
Michelle: What?
Mike: We’re the Bang Bus.. we’ll give you cash to sleep with us on camera for the whole world to see.
Michelle: Umm.. No.
Mike: oh come on now. I see that glimmer in your eyes. You look like a natural.
(The girl ponders for a minute, biting her lower lip.)
Michelle: How much?
Mike: 400 dollars!
Todd: Bang Bus!!!
Mike: Todd!!
Michelle: Hmmm.. ok..
Mike: Beautiful. Get in!
(The sliding door opens and she gets in and sits down beside Todd.)
Todd: Welcome to the Bang Bus!!! Yea-uh!!!
Mike: Want a drink?
Michelle: clearing her throat Umm.. yeah.. and the money upfront.
(Mike hands her a drink with the money. She grabs the drink but Mike gives her only half the money.)
Mike: Nope. Half now, Half After the bang bang…
Todd: BUS!!!
Brad: TODD! SHUT UP AND SHOOT THE (BLEEP)ING SCENE!
Todd: …..
(Michelle takes the drink stiff with no chaser. She wipes her lips dry.)
Michelle: Wow. Strong stuff.
Mike: Why don’t you take off your clothes and show the Bang Bus community what you have to offer?
Michelle: Well… ok.
(Michelle starts to take off of her blouse. Brad pulls up to a stop sign, looks both ways and goes through the intersection. Suddenly a screech of tires is heard and a big smash into the side of the van.)
Mike: Holy (BLEEP)!!!
(Mike, Michelle and Todd all go flying into the side of the van. The camera falls to the ground and points at a bottle that reads “Viagra”.)
Brad: What the hell happened!?
Mike: We just got rocked by that car! The whole scene is ruined!
Todd: Not the Bang Bus!!
Michelle: My head hurts.
Mike: Here..
(Mike rolls the Johnny Walker over to Michelle and Mike gets out of the van. Todd grabs the camera and point it at Mike. He walks over to the car which is turned right around facing the opposite direction. There is a man in the drivers seat.)
Mike: What the hell were you doing? Are you blind!?
(Mike knocks on the door but we can’t see who it is because the camera is filming from inside the fan.)
Mike: Get out of the car! You owe me for these damages! You better have insurance.
(Todd points to the bumper of the car. The car is a 2001 Toyota Corolla with Ontario licenses plates. He points back to the Mike and sees him hammering on the window. The head of the man in the car is shaking his head. Mike opens the door but a fist follows the door and punches Mike square in the groin. Mike falls to the group, cupping his genitals. The man undoes his seat beat and steps out of the car.)
Brad: Oh my god..
(Kryenik gets out of the car with a face covered in streaks of blood. He looks at Brad in the drivers seat and starts the van. Kryenik walks quickly over to the door and opens it.)
Kryenik: Well what do we have here?
(Brad stares at Billy Kryenik’s bloody face and then looks over to Mike who is getting off the ground…
:::to be continued:::
(Scene cuts to three men are riding in a van giggling to themselves as they ride the open roads of Montana.)
Man #1: This is Mike and Welcome to the Bang Bus!
Man #2: YEAAUUHH!!!
Man #3: Bang Bus!
Mike: This is Todd.
Todd: BANG BUS!!!
Man #3: YEAAUHH!!!
Mike: And this is Brad!
Brad: You’re all on the Bang Bus!
Mike: Now today on the Bang Bus we’re going to pick up some more hotties to take advantage of. We got out good friend Johnny Walker here to play lead off for us!
(Mike holds up a large bottle of Johnny Walker to the camera)
Mike: Lets see what we can dish up today.
(Mike, Todd and Brad are all sitting around with no shirts on as Brad drives the van. Mike is riding shotgun and there is a large open gap between the front two seats and the back seat where Todd is sitting with the camera. Mike pulls out four shot glasses and films them up to the brim with Walkers finest.)
Mike: One for me. One for Todd. One for Brad and One for the whore!
Todd: The whore!
Brad: Whore!!
Mike: Ok guys calm down, it’s like you’ve never gotten a woman drunk and had sex with her before.
Brad: Oh yeah.
Todd: Walk in the par… BANG BUS!!!
(Todd stomps his feet wildly.)
Mike: Calm down back there! No Bang Bus for you Todd!
Todd: Noooo!
Mike: Well then keep that small bleep bleep bleep of yours in your pants and settle down! Here take this…
(Mike hands him a shot of Johnny Walker. Off camera you hear *gulp* followed by an “ahh. That’s Good.”)
Todd: WOOO!
Mike: Better?
Todd: Much!
(Mike points to a girl walking down the side of the road.)
Mike: There’s one!!!
Brad: Here’s the money!
(Brad hands Mike a big wad of cash. He slows down the van and the pull up to the girl. She looks to be roughly 28 – 29 with long brown hair, full lips and a great body. Mike rolls down his window and startles the girl.)
Mike: Hi there.
Girl: Hi….?
Mike: My names Mike what’s yours?
Girl: Michelle.
Mike: M & M, we’d make a good combo you know.
(The girl chuckles to herself and smiles.)
Michelle: Nice pick up line. I like Smarties honey.
Mike: Maybe you’d settle for a Big Turk?
(Laughter comes from the Bang Bus.)
Michelle: Clever. What do you want?
Mike: A little bit of your time for fame and fortune.
Michelle: What?
Mike: We’re the Bang Bus.. we’ll give you cash to sleep with us on camera for the whole world to see.
Michelle: Umm.. No.
Mike: oh come on now. I see that glimmer in your eyes. You look like a natural.
(The girl ponders for a minute, biting her lower lip.)
Michelle: How much?
Mike: 400 dollars!
Todd: Bang Bus!!!
Mike: Todd!!
Michelle: Hmmm.. ok..
Mike: Beautiful. Get in!
(The sliding door opens and she gets in and sits down beside Todd.)
Todd: Welcome to the Bang Bus!!! Yea-uh!!!
Mike: Want a drink?
Michelle: clearing her throat Umm.. yeah.. and the money upfront.
(Mike hands her a drink with the money. She grabs the drink but Mike gives her only half the money.)
Mike: Nope. Half now, Half After the bang bang…
Todd: BUS!!!
Brad: TODD! SHUT UP AND SHOOT THE (BLEEP)ING SCENE!
Todd: …..
(Michelle takes the drink stiff with no chaser. She wipes her lips dry.)
Michelle: Wow. Strong stuff.
Mike: Why don’t you take off your clothes and show the Bang Bus community what you have to offer?
Michelle: Well… ok.
(Michelle starts to take off of her blouse. Brad pulls up to a stop sign, looks both ways and goes through the intersection. Suddenly a screech of tires is heard and a big smash into the side of the van.)
Mike: Holy (BLEEP)!!!
(Mike, Michelle and Todd all go flying into the side of the van. The camera falls to the ground and points at a bottle that reads “Viagra”.)
Brad: What the hell happened!?
Mike: We just got rocked by that car! The whole scene is ruined!
Todd: Not the Bang Bus!!
Michelle: My head hurts.
Mike: Here..
(Mike rolls the Johnny Walker over to Michelle and Mike gets out of the van. Todd grabs the camera and point it at Mike. He walks over to the car which is turned right around facing the opposite direction. There is a man in the drivers seat.)
Mike: What the hell were you doing? Are you blind!?
(Mike knocks on the door but we can’t see who it is because the camera is filming from inside the fan.)
Mike: Get out of the car! You owe me for these damages! You better have insurance.
(Todd points to the bumper of the car. The car is a 2001 Toyota Corolla with Ontario licenses plates. He points back to the Mike and sees him hammering on the window. The head of the man in the car is shaking his head. Mike opens the door but a fist follows the door and punches Mike square in the groin. Mike falls to the group, cupping his genitals. The man undoes his seat beat and steps out of the car.)
Brad: Oh my god..
(Kryenik gets out of the car with a face covered in streaks of blood. He looks at Brad in the drivers seat and starts the van. Kryenik walks quickly over to the door and opens it.)
Kryenik: Well what do we have here?
(Brad stares at Billy Kryenik’s bloody face and then looks over to Mike who is getting off the ground…
:::to be continued:::