Post by The Decapitators on Jan 15, 2006 2:39:02 GMT -5
Axe and Diamond are standing over a casket labelled M2 in neon pink. Both are wearing the best suits they could find.
Diamond: A tragedy has struck again in the world of proffessional wrestling.
Axe: Yes. Just like Eddie Guerrero, Chris Candido, The Boogeyman gimmick and the meaning of the phrase "damn skippy" it is gone from us. Today we remember the legacy that was Marky Mark. Phil roll the tape.
"Wing beneath my wings (Did you ever know)" By Bette Midler starts as it fades in.
Clip 1: In it The Decapitators in ski mask's they tip over a cow and start to laugh hysterically as they roll around in the hay.
Clip 2: The Decapitators are running around a female dorm stealing panties.
Clip 3: A family of opossums are swing from a branch
Clip 4: Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk
Clip 5: Swiss Cheese
Clip 6: Adam Sandler in "Big Daddy" peeing on a brick wall
Clip 7: Kane unmasking
Clip 8: More Swiss Cheese
Clip 9: And finally a monkey trying to mount a zebra.
Fades back out to The Decapitators still at the funeral
Diamond (wiping a tear from his eye): Man...that was beautiful.
Axe: Yes now that that tragedy has been mourned....ITS CRAZY FISHERMAN HAT TIME!!!
The now-revealed background falls as some equipment managers haul away the funeral set to reveal a sparkly rendition of The Price is Right.
Both Decapitators tear off their velcro suits to reveal sparkling blue sequened Leather Jackets. Underneath are Neon-Yellow muscle shirts. the tops are acommpanied by Sequened red bell-bottoms.
A Booming Voice (the one from SNL): Its The Decapitators Happy-Time Variety Hour! With special guest's The Delivery Men and musical genius, A Monkey With a Keyboard!!!! Now here's your host, THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE DECAPITATORS!!!
Axe: Thank you, thank you. Lets just get down to business right now!! A pay-per-view without The Decapitators is not a pay-per-view!
Diamond: It's a pay-per-yawn! (ZING!!)
Axe: Unfortunately for us we have to sit this one out!
Diamond: But thats a benifit for all those people who are going to be in the audience for Monday Night Fights.
Axe: That's right. We're going to pour our heart and soul into that match because we don't have to hold back and keep our best moves for Joker's Wild!
Diamond: We're going to do it all. One by one the opposing teams will fall to the amazing aura that surround our glorious chizzelled bodies.
Axe: Well at least one chizzelled body (ZING)
DING DONG!! IT'S The Guest Bell!!
Diamond: WHO IS IT!
THE DELIVERY MEN!
Man #1: What the frick is this?
Axe: It's our Variety Hour.
Man #2: You guys got a variety hour?
Diamond: Yeah it's on 12:30 am on OKLAHOMA NET right before Dallas and also after Dallas.
Man #1: Jim Ross rules!
Axe: YEAH!! They should bring him back as Raw GM.
Man #2: That would be awesome
Diamond: So you guys ready for Monday?
Man #1: Definately we are going to be kick ass and taking names.
Axe: Well then I guess you guys were'nt expecting this. (Pushes a button on the side of the wall next to him)
A stream of red liquid pours down onto the delivery men after a couple seconds a bucket comes down and hits Man #1 in the head.
Man #2: What the hell is this!?
Diamond: Its goat's blood! You just got punk'd!
Ashton Kutcher runs from the other side of the set up to the two Delivery Men.
Ashton: That's right you're employer at the delivery company told me that you guys have taken some serious sick days since you started wrestling.
Man #1 grabs Ashton and presses him high over his head. Man #2 offers his knee as a cushion. Axe and Diamond grab onto Ashton and slam him down across Man #2's knee. Ashton rolls off the knee.
Both Decapitator's and Delivery Men: No Ashton, YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D!!
All four walk off together as the set slowly starts to fall apart as Ashton Kutcher starts to spit up blood.
Fade to Black...
Diamond: A tragedy has struck again in the world of proffessional wrestling.
Axe: Yes. Just like Eddie Guerrero, Chris Candido, The Boogeyman gimmick and the meaning of the phrase "damn skippy" it is gone from us. Today we remember the legacy that was Marky Mark. Phil roll the tape.
"Wing beneath my wings (Did you ever know)" By Bette Midler starts as it fades in.
Clip 1: In it The Decapitators in ski mask's they tip over a cow and start to laugh hysterically as they roll around in the hay.
Clip 2: The Decapitators are running around a female dorm stealing panties.
Clip 3: A family of opossums are swing from a branch
Clip 4: Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk
Clip 5: Swiss Cheese
Clip 6: Adam Sandler in "Big Daddy" peeing on a brick wall
Clip 7: Kane unmasking
Clip 8: More Swiss Cheese
Clip 9: And finally a monkey trying to mount a zebra.
Fades back out to The Decapitators still at the funeral
Diamond (wiping a tear from his eye): Man...that was beautiful.
Axe: Yes now that that tragedy has been mourned....ITS CRAZY FISHERMAN HAT TIME!!!
The now-revealed background falls as some equipment managers haul away the funeral set to reveal a sparkly rendition of The Price is Right.
Both Decapitators tear off their velcro suits to reveal sparkling blue sequened Leather Jackets. Underneath are Neon-Yellow muscle shirts. the tops are acommpanied by Sequened red bell-bottoms.
A Booming Voice (the one from SNL): Its The Decapitators Happy-Time Variety Hour! With special guest's The Delivery Men and musical genius, A Monkey With a Keyboard!!!! Now here's your host, THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE DECAPITATORS!!!
Axe: Thank you, thank you. Lets just get down to business right now!! A pay-per-view without The Decapitators is not a pay-per-view!
Diamond: It's a pay-per-yawn! (ZING!!)
Axe: Unfortunately for us we have to sit this one out!
Diamond: But thats a benifit for all those people who are going to be in the audience for Monday Night Fights.
Axe: That's right. We're going to pour our heart and soul into that match because we don't have to hold back and keep our best moves for Joker's Wild!
Diamond: We're going to do it all. One by one the opposing teams will fall to the amazing aura that surround our glorious chizzelled bodies.
Axe: Well at least one chizzelled body (ZING)
DING DONG!! IT'S The Guest Bell!!
Diamond: WHO IS IT!
THE DELIVERY MEN!
Man #1: What the frick is this?
Axe: It's our Variety Hour.
Man #2: You guys got a variety hour?
Diamond: Yeah it's on 12:30 am on OKLAHOMA NET right before Dallas and also after Dallas.
Man #1: Jim Ross rules!
Axe: YEAH!! They should bring him back as Raw GM.
Man #2: That would be awesome
Diamond: So you guys ready for Monday?
Man #1: Definately we are going to be kick ass and taking names.
Axe: Well then I guess you guys were'nt expecting this. (Pushes a button on the side of the wall next to him)
A stream of red liquid pours down onto the delivery men after a couple seconds a bucket comes down and hits Man #1 in the head.
Man #2: What the hell is this!?
Diamond: Its goat's blood! You just got punk'd!
Ashton Kutcher runs from the other side of the set up to the two Delivery Men.
Ashton: That's right you're employer at the delivery company told me that you guys have taken some serious sick days since you started wrestling.
Man #1 grabs Ashton and presses him high over his head. Man #2 offers his knee as a cushion. Axe and Diamond grab onto Ashton and slam him down across Man #2's knee. Ashton rolls off the knee.
Both Decapitator's and Delivery Men: No Ashton, YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D!!
All four walk off together as the set slowly starts to fall apart as Ashton Kutcher starts to spit up blood.
Fade to Black...