Post by billmcneil on Jan 14, 2006 4:26:17 GMT -5
{Another edition of the highest rated wrestling talk show in all of Edmonton. Tonight’s guest is the other half of the Doomriders, Tommy Deathrow. He dressed up tonight in his overly used The Animals T-shirt and a pair of green and brown Zubaz. His coke bottle glasses are very distinct.}
Bill: Thanks for joining me tonight Mr. Deathrow.
{Deathrow looks at Bill oddly}
Deathrow: Well thanks for having me in Jesus?
{Bill looks very confused.}
Bill: Jesus.. Hmm.. Yeah.. OK.. your partner was on the show the other night, did you watch that show?
Deathrow: You bet I did. I wrapped extra tin foil around the bunny ears and stood at a 45 degree angle and all I can say is wow.
Bill: No cable huh? What do you do with your wrestling money?
Deathrow: Money...? No.. No.. Bill I do it for the love of hurting another Human being. The love of licking the blood off of ones forehead. Hearing one screaming in pain an agony. I have very little money. What money I have had has gone on to legal fees as well...
Bill: Legal fees, what would a fine young man like you be in court for?
{Deathrow clears his sinuses and takes a deep breath.}
Deathrow: I'd use the fine young man term loosely. Well lets just say walking through a well crowded park full of children and a van can get you into massive amounts of children.. I mean trouble. The Commissioner has told me I am no longer allowed to comment on this subject. Other than that, animals, porn and also stealing great amounts of booze.
{Bill with a shocked look.}
Bill: I respect that decision on your part to stay quiet on the legal stuff.. What do you think of your partner’s comments on you being a little off?
Deathrow: Changed. I have changed, I mean I once loved Gwar and Anthrax but I now mostly listen to Mozart and Beethoven. You add in a little bit of Blondie and Three Six Mafia and Coke wow huge party. So yeah I guess my style has changed, I no longer like loud stuff screaming at me.
Bill: Oh yeah I guess you have changed.. (trying to make sense of his guest) I like Pepsi myself (fake laugh) Now how can The Delivery Boys prepare for such a unpredictable team like the Doomriders?
Deathrow: Well by studying a lot of Mr. McFeely videos from Mr. Rogers. You see he was always on time. Getting the deal made. Delivering his product on time. Where that is where one and two lack. They’re slow. Never on time.
{Deathrow laughs}
Deathrow: Did you see me land that dude on his head. Yeah they’re a little off their game. Hey what’s the deal with this eighty eight guy? Because eight-eight is a Nazi meaning for like hail Mr. Hitler or something. But if that’s what the Delivery men are into than why aren't they licking the asses of The Doomriders? I mean who beat Germany in World War Two? The Doomriders did. With that said and done. Just how do you prepare for a team like us?
{Utterly mystified by his guest Bill tries to fathom what mental problems this guy has.}
Bill: I don't believe the Doomriders won that particular war...
Deathrow: Ohh..
{Tommy takes a deep breath and starts humming}
Deathrow: Ok your right.. Bill won it. WOW he always wins.
{Deathrow quickly snaps his head to the right than left than straight above}
Deathrow: Hmm yeah your right Jesus... Bill, I mean we weren’t there. None of us. I had the Vietnam war confused with World War Two. Did you know that my friend Billy and you have the same first name? Coincidence I think not!
Bill: You don't say.. hey what does Jesus think of my show?
Deathrow: Jesus? Jesus you know everything about your show, and what the viewers think with out asking me. It is easily axiomatic without asking me what they think. We all know that the Jesus..
{Deathrow coughs up a piece of tar}
Deathrow: Bill McNeil is the only place to get your point across. You are what the Doomriders are to the tag team and individual section as well. Bill you are the ultimate.
{Deathrow pulls out a flask and takes a huge drink then puts it back}
Deathrow: Interview man! Let me ask you what do you think of the Doomriders as a tag team? Or once we re-gather our way and start into individual matches as well you know, 13 on 1 type of stuff?
Bill: Can I have a sip of that? I think I need a drink..
Deathrow: Oh for sure. I had no intentions of holding back on our savior.
{Deathrow hands Bill his glass full of Malibu Rum 151 and Pineapple juice, with a little coke to make it fizzy. Bill chugs it and hands the glass back.}
Bill: Thanks, I needed that. To answer your question I'd be scared to death to walk in a well lit mall and see you, I can't fathom wrestling you in a Falls count anywhere match. Any final comments for your opponents at Joker's Wild?
{Deathrow leans back and begins rocking back and forth in his chair.}
Deathrow: All I know is that the Delivery Princess better be prepared for this time. Because there is no way that I Thomas Deathrow will not take a number one in there ass an a Two across both of the decapitators chests while Kryenik bites their nipples off of our opponents. All I can say is Jesus, please be there. I mean Sir Lord McNeil.
Bill: Lord McNeil will be looking on from the skybox.. Thanks for being the most interesting son of a bitch, ever on the show.
Deathrow: Oh Lord, once I take the merciful life off those known as one and two, as well as the Decapitators.. I will be singing holy hymns non stop. Oh Jesus, thanks for granting me this interview.
{The show ends with silence across the stage as Bill McNeil is left speechless, along with every audience member.}
{co written with Tommy Deathrow}
Bill: Thanks for joining me tonight Mr. Deathrow.
{Deathrow looks at Bill oddly}
Deathrow: Well thanks for having me in Jesus?
{Bill looks very confused.}
Bill: Jesus.. Hmm.. Yeah.. OK.. your partner was on the show the other night, did you watch that show?
Deathrow: You bet I did. I wrapped extra tin foil around the bunny ears and stood at a 45 degree angle and all I can say is wow.
Bill: No cable huh? What do you do with your wrestling money?
Deathrow: Money...? No.. No.. Bill I do it for the love of hurting another Human being. The love of licking the blood off of ones forehead. Hearing one screaming in pain an agony. I have very little money. What money I have had has gone on to legal fees as well...
Bill: Legal fees, what would a fine young man like you be in court for?
{Deathrow clears his sinuses and takes a deep breath.}
Deathrow: I'd use the fine young man term loosely. Well lets just say walking through a well crowded park full of children and a van can get you into massive amounts of children.. I mean trouble. The Commissioner has told me I am no longer allowed to comment on this subject. Other than that, animals, porn and also stealing great amounts of booze.
{Bill with a shocked look.}
Bill: I respect that decision on your part to stay quiet on the legal stuff.. What do you think of your partner’s comments on you being a little off?
Deathrow: Changed. I have changed, I mean I once loved Gwar and Anthrax but I now mostly listen to Mozart and Beethoven. You add in a little bit of Blondie and Three Six Mafia and Coke wow huge party. So yeah I guess my style has changed, I no longer like loud stuff screaming at me.
Bill: Oh yeah I guess you have changed.. (trying to make sense of his guest) I like Pepsi myself (fake laugh) Now how can The Delivery Boys prepare for such a unpredictable team like the Doomriders?
Deathrow: Well by studying a lot of Mr. McFeely videos from Mr. Rogers. You see he was always on time. Getting the deal made. Delivering his product on time. Where that is where one and two lack. They’re slow. Never on time.
{Deathrow laughs}
Deathrow: Did you see me land that dude on his head. Yeah they’re a little off their game. Hey what’s the deal with this eighty eight guy? Because eight-eight is a Nazi meaning for like hail Mr. Hitler or something. But if that’s what the Delivery men are into than why aren't they licking the asses of The Doomriders? I mean who beat Germany in World War Two? The Doomriders did. With that said and done. Just how do you prepare for a team like us?
{Utterly mystified by his guest Bill tries to fathom what mental problems this guy has.}
Bill: I don't believe the Doomriders won that particular war...
Deathrow: Ohh..
{Tommy takes a deep breath and starts humming}
Deathrow: Ok your right.. Bill won it. WOW he always wins.
{Deathrow quickly snaps his head to the right than left than straight above}
Deathrow: Hmm yeah your right Jesus... Bill, I mean we weren’t there. None of us. I had the Vietnam war confused with World War Two. Did you know that my friend Billy and you have the same first name? Coincidence I think not!
Bill: You don't say.. hey what does Jesus think of my show?
Deathrow: Jesus? Jesus you know everything about your show, and what the viewers think with out asking me. It is easily axiomatic without asking me what they think. We all know that the Jesus..
{Deathrow coughs up a piece of tar}
Deathrow: Bill McNeil is the only place to get your point across. You are what the Doomriders are to the tag team and individual section as well. Bill you are the ultimate.
{Deathrow pulls out a flask and takes a huge drink then puts it back}
Deathrow: Interview man! Let me ask you what do you think of the Doomriders as a tag team? Or once we re-gather our way and start into individual matches as well you know, 13 on 1 type of stuff?
Bill: Can I have a sip of that? I think I need a drink..
Deathrow: Oh for sure. I had no intentions of holding back on our savior.
{Deathrow hands Bill his glass full of Malibu Rum 151 and Pineapple juice, with a little coke to make it fizzy. Bill chugs it and hands the glass back.}
Bill: Thanks, I needed that. To answer your question I'd be scared to death to walk in a well lit mall and see you, I can't fathom wrestling you in a Falls count anywhere match. Any final comments for your opponents at Joker's Wild?
{Deathrow leans back and begins rocking back and forth in his chair.}
Deathrow: All I know is that the Delivery Princess better be prepared for this time. Because there is no way that I Thomas Deathrow will not take a number one in there ass an a Two across both of the decapitators chests while Kryenik bites their nipples off of our opponents. All I can say is Jesus, please be there. I mean Sir Lord McNeil.
Bill: Lord McNeil will be looking on from the skybox.. Thanks for being the most interesting son of a bitch, ever on the show.
Deathrow: Oh Lord, once I take the merciful life off those known as one and two, as well as the Decapitators.. I will be singing holy hymns non stop. Oh Jesus, thanks for granting me this interview.
{The show ends with silence across the stage as Bill McNeil is left speechless, along with every audience member.}
{co written with Tommy Deathrow}