Rex Caliber (c) vs Stylin' Kyle Roberts

[REBELPro.Com]

REBEL HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE

Since winning the REBEL Heavyweight Title, Rex Caliber has seemed unstoppable. The fact that he know has Static and members of his fan club in his corner don't hurt either. On June 5th however he faces a man who knows all about big time matches. Stylin' Kyle Roberts is a former five time co-holder of the NAPW Tag Team Championship and is itching to finally make a name for himself in singles competition. The question is, can Roberts do what no one else in REBEL has been able to accomplish? Can he overcome the odds and become only the second man to wear the REBEL Heavyweight strap of will Rex continue his dominance?

Four RP Limit For Each Person

[Stylin' Kyle Roberts [REBEL]]

(What's this? REBEL's back, and we're treated to a video package! Cue some moody guitar ambiance, it's time for Finger Eleven's cover of "Walking in My Shoes." <Yes, just listen to the music, don't worry about the army slideshow, unless you like that sort of thing...>)

KYLE ROBERTS: (voiceover) This kid needs some medical attention!

(Fade in on the footage taken after the REBEL/NAPW Supershow. Kyle enters, with a beaten Warren in his arms. The grinding guitars enter, as we cut to Kyle Roberts entering through the Polish Hall's curtain, lips in a sneer. He walks down to the ring in slow motion.)

I would tell you about the things they put me through
The pain I've been subjected to
But the lord himself would blush

(A close up on the eyes of Kyle Roberts, staring down some opponent. Who is it? Who cares?)

The countless feasts laid at my feet
Forbidden fruits for me to eat
But I think your pulse would start to rush

(Kyle whips Cataclysm into the ring apron. And then, while Cataclysm holds his back in pain? Clothesline!)

Now I'm not looking for the absolution
Or forgiveness for the things I do

(Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Cataclysm.)

But before you come to any conclusions
Try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

(Kyle, on the top rope, points at a brawling David Banks and Warren past the barricade, in the crowd.)

You'll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept

(Kyle launches himself off the top rope, flying over the barricade, landing on both men as the crowd is beside itself.)

If you try walking in my shoes
If you try walking in my shoes

(We're backstage again, as a trainer checks on the lifeless Warren.)

TRAINER: What happened to him?

(Back to the action. Kyle and Warren, in the ring, face to face.)

I'm not looking for a clearer conscience

(Kyle walks up the ramp, throwing his arms behind him.)

Peace of mind after what I've been through

(Warren flies after him, and a facebuster drives Kyle into the ground.)

And before we talk of repentance

(Warren with the hurricanrana off the metal guardrails.)

Try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

(Kyle keeps Warren on his shoulders, and runs towards the ring.)

You'll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept

(And it's a running powerbomb into the ring apron.)

If you try walking in my shoes
If you try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

(Kyle chucks Warren into the ring, and it's an Emerald Fusion for good measure. The cockiest pin ever by Kyle Roberts, his pinky finger pressed on the lifeless chest of Warren.)

Now I'm not looking for the absolution
Or forgiveness for the things I do
But before you come to any conclusions
Try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

(Kyle takes the rag doll named Warren in his arms, walks up the ramp and out through the curtain, as the song fades to a dull roar. We're back with the trainer. A closeup of Kyle.)

KYLE ROBERTS: (with a smirk, running fingers through his damp hair) I was imaging the kid to be Rex Caliber. And that's why I went all out in beating the chump.

(The frame pauses, and there's the pause symbol in the corner of the screen. We pull back to reveal it was a television screen in the apartment of Stylin' Kyle Roberts, and he's beside the screen, holding a remote control.)

KYLE ROBERTS: And just like that, I got a title shot against Rex Caliber. And what do I have to say about that? It's about (BLEEP)ing time! King Rex, and yes, I am aware that's a pretty redundant title for the bitch, is finally going to get a worthy title defense. Only I'm not like Brian Bruno, or Tommy Deathrow, or Chris Corstenoca. I'm Stylin' Kyle Roberts. And I've been waiting my entire REBEL career for this match. I've been chomping at the bit for this opportunity. And my very first week in REBEL showed that I just wasn't wanting it.

I mean, really, do you remember my claims at the beginning? I promised the REBEL fans that I wouldn't stoop to the level of every single garbage wrestler trying to make a name for himself in a federation with (finger quotes) no rules. I'd get into the ring and (BLEEP)ing wrestle, because that's what I was paid to do. I would be the icon in this company, the standard that every moron in the company would hold to.

And, yes, I admit, I (BLEEP)ing got my legs cut out from under me. Rex Caliber wanted it more, it seems. He wanted the big belt from a hard knocks federation more than me because I couldn't realize that it didn't matter what I think of the rest of the pissants in this federation. They were doing stuff you wouldn't begin to see in NAPW. It's not always a good thing, but I've realized since then it's certainly not bad, either. It's just different.

No, what's bad is the iron fist that Rex Caliber's got this federation in. Yes, he's a fighting champion! He's defended the REBEL Heavyweight title three times! Too bad he's had to resort to chickenshit tactics like using minions to get his way. That's right, boys. You're just the pawns of the all-(BLEEP)ing-mighty Caliber! Even you, Rees. Look at what happened this week in NAPW. Your partner-in-Crimes David Banks, the man you've been allied with for a full half-year? He was considered unworthy. And the axe fell, right on his head. You think that because you're NAPW Provincial Champion, you're immune?

Think again, b'y! Because when Rex Caliber falls like a mighty redwood to me, Kyle Roberts? Guess who takes the blame? Whoever the (BLEEP) dropped the ball as Mister Canada, not being able to save the (BLEEP)ing master from an Emerald Fusion of a Beartamer. And it sickens me to see Mister Canada coming in time after time to save the biggest (BLEEP) from North Carolina in every match when the tide turns against him. You call yourself a fighting champ, Rex? I call you a (BLEEP)ing joke. I call you the biggest lump of manure in a state that's overflowing with smaller pieces of shit.

It's the rematch between the two of us, Rex. It all comes back to REBEL's first show. And this time? I've learned. I've learned to stop following my own personal code of wrestling honour. I've learned to use the one rule of REBEL: There are no rules. Sorry, I should clarify, since there is one rule I've noticed: Any non-American will get (BLEEP)ed over time and time again. It's happened to Bobby O'Brady and Al Thoes. It's happened to Mike Trey, the Assman, even if he doesn't choose to face that fact. It's happened to me. So now it's time to bend that rule so far that it will give you the biggest sting once it flies back and hits you square in your black-and-blue ass. Weapons allowed? Yeah, I can handle that. No count outs. Fine, it just gives me a lot more weapons in my arsenal. No disqualification. Oh, that one's going to bite me hard when it comes to Crimes minions coming out of the woodwork. Static. Rees. And the new golden boy Cash. I'm going to need seven sets of eyes to keep my wits about me.

But, Rex, you've got to realize that I shall overcome the odds. Look at me in the beginning. I was like a babe amongst wolves at the start of my REBEL career. I was too cocky, I wouldn't acknowledge the rules, and I couldn't even figure out what kind of match I was in until I found myself beating the shit out of Ravager on the outside and looked up to see the other piece of shit Yankee Tommy Deathrow pinning Lloyd Rees in the middle of the ring. Sure, I wasn't performing to the best of my ability. But then I saw the light. I saw that the only way I was going to make something of myself in REBEL was to give the authorities the middle finger and outwit you Americans every step of the way.

And now I'm back, staring you right in the face, not backing down. That's right, I'll take you down like a fraternity pledge in UNC. And there's nothing your cronies can do about it. I'm smarter than Cash. I'm smarter than Rees. I'm smarter than Static. And I'm smarter than you. I'm looking forward to whatever you bring to the ring. Because I'm willing to pull out all the stops, just like at the supershow. Did you see me out there, Rex? I destroyed three men, all because when I looked at my competition, all I saw was you. It was Rex Caliber I whipped into the ring apron. It was Rex Caliber whose back was broken over my knee, like so! It was Rex Caliber and Static I saw when I flew from the top turnbuckle over the barricade. It was Rex Caliber I powerbombed into the solid steel. It was Rex Caliber I Fusioned, and it was Rex Caliber I pinned one, two, three in the middle of the ring. It was the broken, lifeless body of Rex Caliber I carried to the back of the arena. It was you. All of the carnage I caused was because I saw you. I saw this unworthy pissant who held the REBEL Heavyweight championship, and I just snapped.

I'd like to thank you, Rex. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways. Thank you for revealing to me how much of a bastard every North Carolinan is at heart. Thank you for giving me the focus I need to rise to the top of this federation. If it wasn't for you, I'd have packed it in long before, moved to an organization where I had a chance. But, no. When you turned on all the idiots who supported you from day one, when you exposed yourself as the (BLEEP)ing shitstain you really are, you gave me a reason to fight another day. You showed me that some things are worth fighting for, and one of the biggest things I'm fighting for at American Anarchy is the opportunity to knock all your teeth down your throat when you flash that smug bastard smile of yours.

(Kyle pauses.)

American Anarchy. Such a fitting name for this card. Because when Rex Caliber goes down to the canvas, blinking in the bright lights, his whole (BLEEP)ing stable is going to descend into men who have no (BLEEP)ing clue what they're rebelling against. It truly will be anarchy for the Crimes when the head is cut right off. At least, here in REBEL. I could give a flying (BLEEP) to whatever you do in NAPW. Let that place burn to the ground for all I care, because, you, Rex, are a second-rate Joey Malone. Maybe after all the punishment I put you through on June fifth, I'll make sure REBEL has its own Extreme Ultimate Jobber belt specifically for you. But then, knowing you, you'd probably (BLEEP) that up royally as well.

Next week, Rex, I crush you under my heel. I will lift that REBEL Heavyweight title over my head. I will give this company the champion they've always dreamed of. And then REBEL-Pro Wrestling will achieve a new renaissance, spearheaded by the only man smart enough to take it to a glorious state.

That man? It's me, Rex.

I'll see you next week.

(Kyle walks out of frame as we fade to black.)

[Sexy Rexy [REBEL]]

(A first class flight from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, to Charlotte, North Carolina, United States. From ruling the coop with an iron fist in Canada, to ruling the coop with the other iron fist in the States. The aftermath of the last two weeks in Canada has changed the landscape of wrestling, and Rex Caliber, along with the Crimes, are the main cause. Static sits next to the current, and overly sexy, Rex Caliber. Static’s dressed business casual, Rex is decked out in a tailor made suit. Rex looks over at this woman on the flight, and can’t get a good look at her. He attempts a few coughs to attract attention, then starts humming “Another One Bites the Dust.” Still no attention, so Rex gives up, and wakes up the sleeping Static. He isn’t very subtle either, jabbing the Hardcore Luchadore in the side. )

REX: You awake man?

STATIC: (rubbing his eyes, and looking towards Rex) Well, if you nudge a (BLEEP)er in the side, what you expect?

REX: So you are awake! (pointing) Does that girl over there look familiar to you? I think I’ve nailed her.

STATIC: (not even looking) I ain’t got time for a story about how you banged some broad on your way through Toledo, Ohio, or where ever you banged the girl at. I know ya just like Tupac, “You get around.” But y’know this has been one damn hellacious week, plus the chaos at the show tonight. I need my sleep.

(Rex’s attention goes away from the girl that he “may or may not” have banged in a city near you. With Rex, he rolls with the current thing that is brought to his attention... which in this case is the “Badder Blood” event. Static relaxes only to be forced to engage in conversation with Rex.)

REX: There was a lot of things that went down. I hated to see David Banks cost the Crimes gold. We don’t need a loser in our midst.

STATIC: Well.. technically the newest member lost too.

REX: (totally ignoring Static) Yep.. the Banks/Rees thing was crazy. All I know is the June shows will be HOTTER THAN HELL!

STATIC: Please tell me ya ain’t naming a show that?

REX: (looking quite let down) You not like it? I got other ones. “RAVAGER SUCKS BALLS.” Or the one Rees suggested: “LDK Presents: “JEFF JAMES RECEIVES AN ASS WHIPPING OF A LIFETIME!”

STATIC: (shaking his head) Ya don’t need to worry about the June NAPW shows.. Brandon has them all took care of. You need to worry about breaking the skull of Kyle Roberts, scooping out the brains and feeding them to the homeless.

REX: (taken back by the sinister way Static is talking) Dude man, you getting itchy not fighting anymore, huh?

STATIC: (pulls out a stress relieving squeezy ball) NO.. I’M FINE!

REX: (still stuck on the show) The nerve of that Richards... the man clearly has issues. He is just like his old partner.. without someone carrying his ass, he ain’t nothing.

STATIC: Well.. they can’t BOTH carry each other.

REX: (thinks it over, and contemplates the theory) OK.. I’ll admit it, Kyle was the man who carried that team. I said it... and with that said, the previous, and also the UPCOMING victory over Kyle proves that Rex Caliber is far superior than any former DX member.

STATIC: What about Chyna? You better than her?

REX: YES I AM!

STATIC: I’m going to say this again... our new member of the Crimes LOST to Richards.

REX: Ca$h did get beat, but he wasn’t a Crime in that match. He will never lose to Richards again, because Ca$h is gonna be the next NAPW Champ, and Bruce will never get his shot. And if they did tangle again, Ca$h would beat him in under five minutes, and two hands tied to his ankles.

STATIC: You that confident in that guy? You think he can beat Ravager?

REX: (stretching out his arms really wide) THAT CONFIDENT!

STATIC: Any particular reason?

REX: Well... a special someone will be the guest referee for the Ca$h versus Ravager match.

(Rex smiles and winks at Static, who shakes his head.)

STATIC: You are putting me in the same ring with Ravager, and I’m supposed to the ref? Y’know the chances of him getting a screwdriver to his (BLEEP)ing temple?

(Then... the realization of exactly what he just said settles into Static’s mind. He looks at Rex who is nodding, with that shit eating grin, that let’s Static know that the scenario is exactly what he is hoping for.)

STATIC: You smarter than I sometimes give you credit for champ.

REX: Hey, I didn’t become a rich man with using crazy ideas that aren’t good for business.

STATIC: How did you become a rich man? (laughs) I’m kidding man, but seriously you need to start focusing on beating Kyle Roberts. You want to actually win this match, and not tie like Ravager.

(The idea of focusing on Kyle slips away again, as Static made the mistake of mentioning Ravager.)

REX: Good old Bob, went broadway tonight. You know what I did after that match... I called up Rick Garrett and I told him that when I beat Kyle that he should bring in Stone Zellor for the show on the Twelfth.

STATIC: What the hell for? So he can pimp slap Assman?

REX: No.. so I can defend THE REAL TOP INDY BELT, against the man the Ravager couldn’t beat.

STATIC: What Slick Rick say?

REX: He’d have to talk to Stone, get some contract deals done, but he wasn’t sure.

STATIC: But you HAVE to beat Kyle to do that. So you need to stop dealing with the other shit.

REX: (ignoring Static once again.) I also received my invite to the TEAM Tournament of Champions. I figured that since me and Ravager can’t face off in either of our feds... that maybe he can meet me there.

STATIC: That’s if he can actually win a match or two. But knowing you’re already in it... he might decide to say (BLEEP) it, and not enter.

REX: He might, but he knows that everyone will think he is nothing but a gutless coward then.

STATIC: That’s what they already think. They think worse things actually. Especially after he couldn’t become champ again until me, you and D! was gone.

REX: D!, that reminds me of something.

STATIC: What’s that? An emo filled, tear jerking promo from a roof top near the slums of Edmonton?

REX: No, this survey question.

(Static looks at Rex funny, as Rex stands up.)

REX: Attention passengers, can everyone who hasn’t been beat by D! please raise their hands?

(Everyone on the plane besides Static raises their hands. Then Rex raises his hand slowly and laughs.)

REX: Thank you (sits back down)

STATIC: (in a pissed tone) At least I faced his ass... you never did.

REX: I had the contract date set for the week before the Anniversary show, but retirement happened, and he wasn’t exactly the champ when it rolled around anyway. But I do plan on doing something that he did do, and that’s win that Tournament of Champions.

STATIC: You just hell bent on one upping everyone?

REX: Pretty much.. I find it ego boosting.

STATIC: (laughing because Rex was one hundred percent serious) I bet it is. But for the last time, I need you to forget all that tournament shit, don’t think about who joined the Crimes, who left the Crimes, who Ravager is whacking off, and all that shit. Ya need to make sure that what happened at the first REBEL show, happens at the next one.

REX: You’re right. I got all that other shit off my chest, and I do need to focus. I mean, the way I see it, Kyle has done nothing but get lucky in one match. He beat the former weak link of the Crimes, some masked (BLEEP)er who doesn’t talk English, and a man who’d give head for weed.

STATIC: Who the (BLEEP) cares who he beat.. ya need to worry about that one awesome match.

REX: What?

STATIC: Tag matches don’t matter man... that’s a whole different hairy animal. But singles match has this weird thing about it. Now you see, every mid card, average wrestler has one AWESOME match in them. Warren beat “Sick” Billy... that was his match. D! beat me... that was his match. The Moose beating Evan Cartwright.. that was his match. Crusher beating you, that was his match.

REX: Why the hell you gotta bring that up?

STATIC: Bare with me... Yellow Chicken beating Rees.. that was his match.

REX: Well how about the man you can’t beat theory?

STATIC: You talking about Ravager not being able to beat D! or Minstrel? Simply Beautiful never beating Casino or Ravager? Chuck Liddell not being able to beat Rampage Jackson? Tito not being able to beat Chuck?

REX: (riled up) We ain’t talking no fake cage fighting stuff, we are talking pro wrestling. (calming down) But yeah those other examples are good ones. Sometimes there’s a man you can’t beat. Kyle Roberts can’t beat me. In regular tag team matches, we were undefeated against DX. You throw in a ladder, and hell look at what happened tonight... I don’t consider that match, a loss to him. And I beat him in a singles match already.

STATIC: Well you need to prepare, train your ass off... just incase he has his match this week. And if he does pull off a performance of a damn lifetime.. if you are prepared, you can STILL be the man he can’t beat.

REX: RIGHT! Well I have my new gym ready this week. Working out there will be kick ass.

STATIC: You don’t have a busy schedule this week do you? You hired Terry to handle your Canada affairs. You are giving ample time to defending that belt, right?

REX: There might be.. a small chance, that I could be getting inducted into an amateur wrestling Hall of Honor.

STATIC: (slightly annoyed tone) Is that all you got going on?

REX: Might be a slight chance at some sort of other thing going on to.

STATIC: Like?

REX: Don’t worry about it, but rest assured my photo shoot won’t take that long.

STATIC: (more annoyed) Photo shoot?

REX: Damn it, I let it slip.

STATIC: How did you manage to focus on things without me in your ear?

REX: Well truth be known, my record wasn’t sparkling after we had our spat.

STATIC: Ya mean when I nearly blinded you? (laughs)

REX: Who’s retired and who’s the champ?

STATIC: Well, you’ll be ready for this match coming up... even if I have to stab you. Cause losing to Kyle is criminal! Hell, winning is criminal when you’re a Crime. (laughs at his pun)

REX: (Rex raises his eyebrow, with what has to be an idea) THANK YOU!

(Rex pulls out his phone, and sends a text message to someone. The conversation quiets down. Static puts on some headphones, as Rex once again looks the way of the woman that he could have had sex with before. Then he smiles... a very sadistic smile. The champ is on his way home, getting over the past two weeks. He is undoubtedly preparing mentally for the battle this week. The Crimes can’t lose any more gold. Not on Rex’s watch. The moves are all planned out in his head. He is totally going to focus on Kyle Roberts, AFTER he gets up and sits next to the girl he has been eyeballing for the entire trip. Static opens one eye, looks at Rex, knowing exactly what he did, and shakes his head. You just know he was thinking, “The more things change, the more things stay the same.” Fade to Black, but wait! A message follows.)

NAPW presents: WINNING IS CRIMINAL at the Polish Hall in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, June the nineteenth. Come watch Ravager lose his belt to the CRIMES! CRIMES!! CRIMES!!! I’d bet Ca$h money on it!

[Sexy Rexy [REBEL]]

(The day is fading away slowly, as the heat stays around. A cloudless day in North Carolina and the temperature has been into the mid nineties all day. The building being shown is Parts Unknown High School, in Parts Unknown, North Carolina. We see a bunch of people, nicely dressed entering the gymnasium. Then we see a limousine enter the driveway in front. Out of it steps the REBEL Heavyweight Champion. Dressed to impress, wearing a pin stripe suit, sunglasses and his title belt. Rex enters through a side door labeled “Honoree's”. His cell phone beeps and he pulls it out to check a text message.)

REX: (reading it out loud) Kyle called you a bitch, from Static.

(He pulls out his already written speech, and then hears his phone beep once again.)

REX: Dammit! Kyle says he was visioning you at the Supershow, and he will do the same things to you. OK!

(Rex sends a message back, and promptly turns his cell off for the time being. A male school official enters the scene and approaches Rex. He extends his hand. Rex shakes it.)

REX: Nice to meet you sir.

SCHOOL OFFICIAL: It is honor to have you here. It’s about time we started a wrestling Wall of Honor.

REX: My record wasn’t shiny, but I did win two summer league tournaments my senior year.

SCHOOL OFFICIAL: Don’t forget about your North Carolina Private School Wrestling Championship in the light heavyweight division!

REX: (Flipping out the Gold Medal from under his suit) Oh that thing... Yeah, it was cool too!

SCHOOL OFFICIAL: You are going on last, as you are the most famous athlete in the cities history.

REX: It shall be fun sir.

(Rex takes a seat in the back. He listens to the other men take their honors. He has time to kill and figures what a good time to let Kyle know how he is feeling.)

REX: A bitch? My boy Static is making sure that through all the festivities, all the work I have, that I don’t forget about my match. My match again with the little pest. Kyle Roberts is the most jealous man in wrestling. Why? He can’t be THE MAN! What has he EVER done on his own? Bruce Richards, the scum bag that he is.. did win something on his own. It will be the last thing he ever won on his own in NAPW. The last thing he will win ever! But you Kyle, you won a elimination match where you “claim” that you envisioned me! Bullshit. You have been beat by me, and despite what ever you claim.. I’m the better man. I always have been, always will be. You step up to the plate, and will once again STRIKE OUT! You are envious that it is I, Rex Caliber, who is the most hated man in wrestling. I’m the man who people love to hate. You are just a man with nothing to claim too. Claim to be the greatest tag wrestler in wrestling. That and a dollar will by you a double cheeseburger at McDonald’s and not much else. Now me... I AM THE BEST SINGLES WRESTLER ON THE INDY CIRCUIT. I could go to TNA and bitch smack Angle, and Fat Joe at the same time, go up north, smack around an old man, a punk poser and a blonde bitch, take all the Vince made belts! I don’t want to though. Why? Politics isn’t for me. I don’t want to have to cater to the fans to get a title shot, or have to look a certain way to get the big matches. Me.. I can rule the indy scene forever, make money through my businesses and retire in ten years. That’s me! You... you will eventually get tired of being a nobody and quit. That’s in your nature Kyle. Just like you quit NAPW, cause your butt buddy whooped your ass. Now the way I see it, you have two choices. You can either get while the (BLEEP)in’ gettin’s good.. or I get your (BLEEP)in’ ass! You are not the man to beat me. In fact the only man on the REBEL Roster that can beat me, is Lloyd Rees, and we no that ain’t happening. So Kyle.. bring your best, and you will get pinned just like before. Nothing is different, you are the same untalented bastard you was in April. I’ve been main eventing shows since the door opened, and the only main events you get in, is when you face me! There is no glass ceiling here Kyle, it’s a concrete fortress surrounding me. You can break through the glass in other feds, but this one, you stay put. The Crimes have built a wall between us and the rest. Unfortunately for you, you’re not a Crime. Not because you haven’t asked to be, God knows you have been begging me for the last month... but it’s because you aren’t Crimes’ material.

(The school official returns and Rex is told that he is coming up. )

REX: Kyle.. you need a partner! And you need to learn to accept the inevitable. I am REBEL Champ now, I will be after American Anarchy, and you know that I will be for a long.. LONNNNGG TIME!

(Rex Caliber hears his introduction and walks into a packed gym. He takes center court and looks around to the near thousand fans. The cheers are very loud.)

REX: Thank You all! Wrestling... it’s more than a sport to pass the time with in school. It has been my LIFE since I was in ninth grade. A scrawny one hundred forty pound kid, entered the sport of wrestling. He left the amateur ranks a one hundred eighty five pound State Champ, and a man.

(The crowd cheers and Rex quiets them down.)

REX: I wanted to come out here and thank each and every person who supported me. I wanted to come out here and thank my teachers, my coaches, and the city of Parts Unknown for making Rex Caliber who he is today...

(During the slight pause, the crowd cheers again.)

REX: I wanted too. But how could I come out here and tell bold face lies.

(The crowd look at each other, searching for answers.)

REX: The fact is, not one damn one of you made REX CALIBER! I worked my ass off, and to the disdain of the common people working in this God forsaken town, I made myself into something. I’m not a blue collar, pork n’ bean eating redneck like you people are. By the sweat of my brow, when I graduated, I left this town, and become A SOMEBODY! You people want to honor me? So your kids can look up to me, want to be like me? Why torture your kids with such a high bar? You need to hang up pictures of people they can actually be like. Like Stu the Janitor, or Peggy the lunch lady! THOSE ARE REALISTIC IDOLS! They can be like them now, they don’t need an education. Flipping burgers down at Beefies, doesn’t require a high school diploma, just a man who can stand up near a hot grill for eight hours. So you can take that little plaque of mine, and just throw it away. I don’t won’t anyone to know that I went to school here. I’m embarrassed as can be that you people drug me here tonight. I live in a real city that has more than one stop light, and the post office isn’t smaller than a mobile home. Charlotte is my home, and you need to burn any memory of me ever being here!

(The people are enraged as Rex leaves. He enters his limo, as the people follow throwing drink cups, and other garbage.)

DRIVER: How did it go Mr. Caliber?

REX: Not to bad! Now get me out of this hell hole. My skin crawls being around these hicks.

(They ride to Charlotte, which is roughly forty miles away. Not a long ride on interstate eighty five. Rex is chatting on his cell phone as they cruise down West Morehead. He spots a girl standing outside the Uptown Cabaret and has the driver pull over. The girl there is Cynthia Garrett, the REBEL owner’s estranged wife.)

REX: (rolling his window down to speak to her) You dancing tonight?

CYNTHIA: Not enough money in those guys pockets.

REX: I bet there’s enough in mine!

CYNTHIA: You might be able to get that for free. (winks)

REX: So what you doing later? Oh and by the way, why hasn’t Rick scolded me for being with you?

CYNTHIA: Probably too busy messing with his strippers to care. He wouldn’t mess with the only guy that can compete with your company anyway.

REX: Isn’t that ironic, that I’m helping to compete with the fed I own!(laughs) So you never answered me, what you doing later?

CYNTHIA: I have a friend coming into town, I think she knows you. You want to meet at the Marriott?

REX: Yeah, what’s her name?

CYNTHIA: Now that wouldn’t be any fun, now would it!

REX: OK, see you around eleven.

(Rex rolls up his window.)

DRIVER: So who you think it is champ?

REX: (BLEEP) if I no, could be anyone. Probably a big fan. I just hope she is as hot at Mrs. Garrett.

DRIVER: Why you calling her that? It don’t bother you any?

REX: You’d be surprise how doing a married woman feels. Even if she is trying to divorce him and take half his money, she’s still forbidden fruit. She might own half of REBEL one day, and who’s her number one man? Rex Caliber.

DRIVER: You are one of the most brilliant men I’ve ever met.

REX: You can compliment my brilliance all you want, but your tip ain’t getting no bigger. (laughs)

(Rex’s phone rings, and he answers it.)

REX: What can the champ do for you?

Really? A bidder?

BBR and Associates?

Never heard of them.

WHOA, that’s beyond my asking price. At least ten percent higher.

Sounds good, schedule a meeting for next week after my title match. I don’t need any more distractions or my manager might kill me.

No, literally kill me, like with a screwdriver and shit.

Seriously, a screwdriver.

Talk at you later!

(Rex closes his phone, which promptly rings again.)

REX: Sup man?

Yes I am focused on Kyle. In fact I’m growing tired of hearing his name mentioned.

What am I going to do about it? I might just make sure he never competes again.

Damn right I’ll do it Crimes style.

NO I DON’T NEED YOUR SCREWDRIVER.

Fine, maybe just for old time sakes.

What do you mean it’s only been a few weeks?

I forget sometimes. I’m remembering stabbing Sparx now.

Rees? Nah, that man has it in the bag. Rees is better than me, so no doubt he can beat Sparx.

Ca$h? Yeah, he called me the earlier. He is handling Crime business in Canada. Training hard as well to beat down Ravager.

OK, I gotta date tonight, so I’ll see you tomorrow for training.

(Rex hangs up the phone. It again rings, and he looks at the number curiously. He doesn’t smile, but answers.)

REX: What can the champ do for you?

You are?

You’re the one she was talking about then?

I gotta say this is awkward.

Yeah, I’ll be there though.

(Rex hangs up. He looks disturbed. Then he smiles real big,)

DRIVER: What’s up champ?

REX: Sometimes I love how great things just fall in my lap. This week is going to be a very good one for the Crimes. Especially for me.

(The scene fades to black leaving all sorts of questions. What is the deal with Cynthia? Who is buying the bar? When will Rex finally grow hair? All these questions, no answers and we still don’t know where babies come from! Stay tuned for more Rexcellence of Rexecution.)

[Stylin' Kyle Roberts [REBEL]]

(We open on a Raleigh Shell station. Kyle Roberts is standing outside his 1998 Dodge Neon, filling it up. Another patron is at the other pump.)

GAS PATRON: $3.01 a gallon. Damn, the gas companies are raping us.

KYLE ROBERTS: Yeah, I know. You think that when your country goes to war over oil, that it would somehow keep the gas prices down.

GAS PATRON: What? No, we didn't go to war over oil. We went to war because Saddam had to fall.

KYLE ROBERTS: (laughs) Right. You keep on believing that. Well, look at it this way. I was up in Alberta last week, and gas was going for a buck seventeen per litre.

GAS PATRON: That's cheap!

KYLE ROBERTS: Nah, man, we're talking a quarter of a gallon here. It would be more like just under five dollars a gallon.

GAS PATRON: Whoa!

KYLE ROBERTS: And that's from a province that produces oil! I just remember coming down to the States on family vacations back during the first Gulf War, and all those North Dakotans were yelling about how enraged they were that gas had hit a buck a gallon. Believe me, gas down here is cheap.

(Kyle finishes pumping and uses his credit card in the pump. He turns to the camera.)

KYLE ROBERTS: So Rex is mad because I called him a bitch? Seriously? That's the word I used that he had issues with? God, Rex, it's a good thing you've got Static there to sugarcoat my words for you. I'm actually surprised that King Shitcakes was making his own promos, he's so high and mighty he could just outsource them to other Crimes.

Hey, Rex, if this ever reaches your ears, yeah, I called you a bitch. You know what else I called you? A shitstain. Chickenshit. A waste of (BLEEP)ing space. A bastard. The biggest (BLEEP)ing piece of shit living in North Carolina. I WOULD have called you a donkey molester, but my attorney thought that might be too harsh.

(Kyle enters his car, and the cameraman enters the passenger side. We pull out of the gas station. While he talks, Kyle mainly keeps his eyes on the road. He's a careful driver, and you should be too!)

I think you're a bigger (BLEEP)up than Joey Malone when it comes to running NAPW. At least Joey had taste in his enemies. Hell, before you completely sold out, you were one of them. You're fighting Ravager? Really? Him? Okay. I think the funniest part of this whole situation is that you've managed to put Bruce and I on the same side of this war. Sure, he's doing it for honour and trying his best to make it the right thing to do. Me? I know where I stand. The only reason I'm taking you down is to stand on your corpse, dance on your smoking ruins and raise the REBEL Heavyweight championship above my head. Once Bruce admits that he's doing it so he can win the NAPW title? Well, then he'll be telling the truth.

Bruce and I are fighting this battle for different reasons, but once I get what I want, I'll let him have the leftovers. Rex, as shitty as you are a federation owner, there's only one place where you're worse. Now, Static, I want you to take the earmuffs off your boy for this one. I want you to let this soak in to Rex's head. Sure, it's going to take at least a few hours to find its way through all that muscle and provoke a response, but if there's one thing Kyle Roberts has been doing of late, it's shattering illusions. Okay, ready? You sure?

The one think Rex Caliber (BLEEP)s up more royally than running a company is being a REBEL champion. (Kyle flinches.) Ooooh. Hit a nerve? Good. Now here's why: Because the only match that Rex Caliber has truly won was his first one. Mr. Canada has won every other time.

And just so you know, that's a very hard thing for me to admit. Your only legitimate win was against me. You beat me squarely in the ring in our first REBEL encounter. But it's not going to happen. Do you know why? A wise man named Static, believe it or not, told the world about how wrestlers sometimes have "that match." There everything went right for them, and it rarely happens again. Like Static said, Warren beat Kryenik. The Yellow Chicken won the NAPW Television Title. And you, Rex Caliber, beat me.

Let me channel Static's exact words, here. What were they? "Every midcard, average wrestler has one awesome match." Guess what, Rex? That was you on April Third. Because every other match was handed to you on a (BLEEP)ing silver platter. By your cronies in the Crimes. By whoever the hell was Mister Canada. When it comes to just you and me, you were able to beat me. But not again. Not this week. You're going in against a wiser Stylin' Kyle Roberts.

Enjoy the first few weeks of being evil, Rex. Yeah, you're such a badass, going back to the high school that decided that making young Mister Calibre repeat twelve grade for a third time wouldn't be worth it. Oh, you told them, didn't you? Ho ho! You're bad, you get to say the things that just pop into your head! Take it from me, Rex, after a while, the naked truth is fun for the first bit, but then it turns into a burden.

What did the truth do for me? I dropped my tag team partner of many years because he just wasn't good enough anymore. My girlfriend left me. I moved down to Raleigh, and look at me. No allies. An entire nation hates me. Hell, the place I left wasn't too fond of me either, so let's just say that the majority of North America despises me. I'm not sure about Mexico, I've never wrestled there. But the point is, these days, I'm a pariah in REBEL-Pro.

But it's finally taking an upturn for me. I'm winning matches on my own merits, and can you say the same thing, Rex? You sure as (BLEEP) can't. And now we meet in REBEL for a second time. This time, Rex, I'm not squandering this title shot. My very first one. No, man, I'm savoring this week, because I can feel the weight of that belt around my waist.

But I'm not going into this thing unprepared. I know what to expect. It's going to be interference everywhere. Crimes coming at me from all directions. I say bring it. I'm not going to let the Four Stooges make my title shot into a mockery. Bring Static's screwdriver, because once it's plunged into my head, and I'm seeing everything through a mask of crimson, it'll just make me focus that much more. Because there was a time in NAPW where the New and Improved D-X was the most destructive force in professional wrestling. Are you certain you want to unleash the man with blood on his hands, Rex? He's never met you, but I'm sure he'd have fun toying with you in a relaxed rules environment.

Rex, you shouldn't (BLEEP) with what you can't handle. And that goes double for the boss' wife. What Would Rick Garrett Do? Especially when he sees that promo. Or have you castrated the man with your oodles of NAPW money? If I went to see him, would there be anything he could do to help even this match? Probably not. You can't stipulate a "No Crimes at ringside" rule if the very basis of your wrestling company is "no disqualification."

So what do I do in this match? I grin and bear it. Because nothing's going to take my focus away from my goal, Rex. I will become the next REBEL champion, and there's nothing you, Mister Canada, or the rest of your bitches can do about it.

(Kyle's cell phone goes off, with the ringtone "I'm Too Sexy." Kyle answers.)

KYLE ROBERTS: Hello? Oh, hey. How's it going? No, I've got nothing planned for tonight. Were you wanting to have some dinner? Name then place, then, my dear. The Irregardless Cafe? What time? Seven? Sounds good. You've got yourself a date.

(Kyle waves the camera away as he's driving through Raleigh, chatting up someone. We fade to black.)

[Sexy Rexy [REBEL]]

(The champ is here! The champ is here! We hear the theme music playing faintly in the background. We see a glass door, and through it the newly built gym for Rex’s office building. The camera scans up to the sign above the door.)

HOME OF
THE BADDEST MOTHER (BLEEP)ER
ON THE PLANET

REX CALIBER

(Rex is shown, decked out in work out clothes as he enters the gym. He looks around and almost tears up. All of his equipment is in there. The wrestling mat on the floor, the statue of Rex posing. All of his title belts, and trophies that used to hang in his bar. The old Nexus Sports Bar purple illuminated sign is in it too, for nostalgia purposes. A wet bar for his after work out drinks. Big screen televisions for watching matches, sports or titties, are on all over the placel. A pool table on one side, a couch for lounging on the other side. Weight benches, barbells, dumbbells, cardio bikes, and A STEAM ROOM is all here. A picture of him and Static holding the tag team belts is blown up on one wall. Then in the corner of the room we see his assistant Angela.)

REX: This place is paradise. All I need is a stripper pole for fun.

(Angela points to behind Rex, who turns and his eyes get wide like an boy seeing his first Playboy.)

REX: THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. In my mind, I never thought it would be so great.

ANGELA: I had them put in the few extras, cause I know what you like. Was it cool to crank up the stereo system? Your theme music was fitting, I thought

REX: You are a sweetheart. I know the world hates me, and even some of the staff looked at me funny this morning, but you... you are loyal.

ANGELA: And always will be!

REX: What you make now?

ANGELA: Around twenty grand a year!

REX: Someone’s getting about a five thousand dollar raise.

ANGELA: (smiling) Thank you.

(Rex pulls out a camera and hands it to her.)

REX: Take this to the photo mat that “knows me”. Tell them I want double prints, and I’ll drop a few Ben Franklin’s to the dark room guy, if he breaks the rules, and prints all of them.

ANGELA: What do you mean? Don’t they always print all of them?

REX: Not if “naughty” ones are in there. Reason I’m banned from the WalMart in Parts Unknown.

ANGELA: (blushing) You want me to make sure they are all in there before I leave?

REX: Could you? I mean the girls are hot, and you see some of me too. (winks)

ANGELA: Consider it done!

(Angela walks out, and in comes Static. He is dressed to work out.)

STATIC: Your own damn statue?

REX: Damn right, I’m my own hero.

STATIC: That one picture is pretty good (pointing at the one of them together with the tag belts) Should have cropped out that bald (BLEEP)er though.

(Rex gives him a mean look, as you hear Static laugh.)

STATIC: Relax “killer”. Anyways, ya boy Kyle has been on a mission to piss you off. He talked about how he was going to be R Kelly and you was going to be the fourteen year old girl.

REX: Is that right?

STATIC: He emphasized that you are nothing but an embarrassment, and said that your “one match” was against him!

REX: Oh, ok.. did he fail to realize that since day one, I’ve never been a low mid card talent like him, and that EVERY MATCH IS MY MATCH!

STATIC: Nah, he conveniently forgot to mention how you’ve always been better than him, and he can’t beat you. I honestly think the mans smoking the good stuff.

REX: Well in about an hour, that sumbitch is gonna be lost for words.

STATIC: You sure about that? Did I mention he wants to get me banned from ringside, but doesn’t know how to do it?

REX: You have to be there to take notes on my match, so I can be the best champ ever.

STATIC: He talked about how you always needed Mr. Canada to win.

REX: Don’t remember Mr. Canada being involved in the Sparx match, maybe he should go back and watch how a champ beats down a loud mouth punk. He is gonna receive the same treatment soon.

STATIC: He also...

REX: (reaching his breaking point) (BLEEP) WHAT HE SAID!

(Static nods as he finally has gotten through.)

REX: He talks big for man to never do anything on his own. Now maybe some guys showed up in my matches, but hey.. it’s the land of no rules. If that bastard was smart, he’d have someone watching his hairy back, but I everyone knows Kyle Roberts isn’t “smarter than anyone.” He has a lawyer giving him advice, and I have a two former NAPW champs giving me advice. Who’s more informed? He has all this time on his hands to bitch and complain about being nothing. I don’t have time to listen. I’m going to train my ass off, so this will be the LAST TIME I have to face him. He is going to get knocked out of the title picture and start jerking the curtains against guys like Warren and Crusher. He should make a new tag team with Crusher in fact... “The Old and Suckier Hasbeens Who Never Was!” Crusher talks big about his one victory over me, that was caused by a chair shot from Bill Fleming. Kyle talks about his tag accomplishments like that mean shit in the singles game. Two do nothings, who need TO SHUT THE (BLEEP) UP! I can talk, I got the gold. Something that not one damn man other than me in REBEL will ever hold. I am the face of REBEL. Lloyd Rees is the face of REBEL. We are the elite force (BLEEP)ing shit up, NOT THEM.

STATIC: You really think Kyle and Crusher are the same?

REX: Not entirely, Crusher does have a pinfall victory over me, as sad as that is. And Kyle will never, EVER, have that!
(Two guys come in with one last picture to hang. It’s blown up, and it’s of the Crimes: Rex, Rees, Static, Salty, and Banks..and no Ca$h.)

REX: Damn... Forgot about ordering that one... (thinking) WAIT! I’ll be back in two shakes of a dogs leg.

DELIVERY MAN NUMBER 1(no not those Delivery men): Where the f-

STATIC: Don’t finish that...

DELIVERY MAN NUMBER 2: What the (BLEEP) ya talking bout mate?

STATIC: Bad memories of the most annoying tag team EVER! Anyway, I have no idea where the man went.

(Rex comes back in, and tapes a smaller poster of Ca$h over the head of Banks.)

REX: That’ll work. Hang the thing up.

STATIC: (sarcasm)Your genius is uncanny!

REX: (not hinting the sarcasm) Yep, I’m (BLEEP)ing amazing!

STATIC: It’s time to train bitch!

REX: Where the hell you get off calling me that?

STATIC: I’m going to pose as Kyle Roberts, and dummy down my skills today. You try to counter wrestle me, and this is just sparring... YOU HURT ME, I STAB YOU!

(They spar wrestle for around an hour, and finally stop. During the session Static mimicked every Kyle trademark from several different scenarios. Rex bested him nearly every time. Static threw in some of his old moves for fun, and caught Rex good. Rex locked on the Katajime and Static had to pull out his screwdriver from his boot. They then decided not to bring blood, and Rex let go. The session seemed to help point a few angles to Kyle’s usual repertoire, that can come up, and be tricky to defend.)

REX: (breathing heavy) You are like.. totally.. better than Kyle, with Kyle’s own moves.

STATIC: (breathing heavier) I need to start working out more doc, this shit ain’t funny.

REX: Man, we do this everyday until the match, plus my regular work out routine, his “one match” will have to wait for someone else, guaranteed!

STATIC: Damn right... I need some Gatorade, or something.

(Rex walks over to the Wet Bar which has Gatorade on tap. He pours a cup for Static.)

STATIC: (guzzling the drink) Man, you think we need to add in some video watching?

REX: I’ve seen every Kyle Roberts match since I joined NAPW in two thousand five. I know everything his un-athletic ass can do.

(Just then, Angela walks in with a envelope, and the package of pictures.)

REX: Hey, you are gonna love this Static..

STATIC: Oh yeah?

REX: What’s the other thing Angela?

(She hands it all over to Rex.)

ANGELA: Was left at the front door, not sure what it is.

REX: Open it up and see... we gotta look at these pics.

(Rex looks like a kid a Christmas. He flashes one too Static.)

STATIC: DUDE, YOUR (BLEEP)ING NAKED MAN. I don’t wanna see that shit.

REX: Divert your eyes and realize who the two girls are.

STATIC: (taking a drink and looking closely) That’s that Garrett guy’s wife, and.. (spit take) HOLY SHIT MAN... THAT’S AMY!

REX: That’s right!

(Rex smiles big, and Static is rather pissed.)

STATIC: WHAT THE (BLEEP) YOU THINKING MAN?

REX: What ya mean?

STATIC: You are fighting a determined man, in a no holds barred environment, and you give him a reason to want to kill you. He can’t get DQ’ed, that shit might work in NAPW, but here... it’s all fair game.

REX: When you put it like that... I still banged two girls at the same time.

(Rex smiles and Static let’s go with a very loud slap to the champs face.)

REX: WHAT THE (BLEEP)S YOUR PROBLEM!

STATIC: You don’t see it? You almost lost to the crazy Bruno, and if not for the Crimes YOU WOULD HAVE LOST! Now you are trying to enrage a man who is already hell bent on hurting you? You didn’t need to piss him off.

REX: He acts like he doesn’t care, I believe he don’t care. I don’t know how Cynthia convinced her anyway, or why. But it was a fun time, and I got these pics.

ANGELA: And your “friend” Cynthia, arranged that meeting with that girl Amy.

REX: What for?

STATIC: Yeah what for?

ANGELA: It says for a favor to be cashed in later.

REX: What?

ANGELA: You mentioned she was the best girl you’ve ever “banged.” She gave her to you.

REX: I didn’t make no deal? Man, this shit is getting weird.

ANGELA: She states that she could go to her husband and have you fired, if you say no when the time comes.

REX: She’s a whore, and dammit.

STATIC: Damn man, what the (BLEEP) have you done?

REX: I JUST WANTED TO GET LAID! Anyway, I’m under contract as long as I’m champ, so he can’t fire me or he’d get sued.

STATIC: You don’t know that. You need to make sure, cause it looks like you’re getting (BLEEP)ed all over the place. I’m going to call Rees, see if he needs a training partner this week.

(Static walks out, and Angela is left with Rex.)

ANGELA: He gonna be OK?

REX: What you mean?

ANGELA: He stormed out and is pissed off.

REX: Oh that, yeah he does that OFTEN! He will be back tomorrow.

ANGELA: What you going to do?

REX: I’m gonna train, whip Kyle’s ass, and run my business. Right now, I’m going to fix me a margarita, and chase it with some Tequila.

(Rex’s animal lust is taking over his life. The scene fades to one of the pics being focused in on. Rex kissing the girl named Amy. The champ has first class facilities, and has women ruining his life. The match is soon, and he still has other business to contend with. What could the favor be? How will Kyle react to the Amy thing? Will Static be OK? Where does Rex stand in the eyes of Rick Garrett? What ever happened to MackaBEE? Did REBEL really hire Crusher? All these questions and very few answers. Same Rex channel, Same Rex time. Fade to black.)

[Sexy Rexy [REBEL]]

(The evil of the female form is abundant in every facet of life. Women control the world through their looks, their actions and their words. The most dominant of men can be brought to his knees by the most least suspecting woman. This is the world men created and they must live in it. Fade up to a sweaty Rex Caliber doing crunches, and listening to the music of Three Six Mafia. He sits up one last time and gets up from the floor. Rex walks over to the pictures of the fun night he had.)

REX: (talking to himself) What is it about her that doesn’t seem right? She was never that loose, and it took me six hours to convince her to sleep with me at spring break all those years ago. She was drunk then. Was her betrayal by her long time boy friend that devastating? She didn’t do things the same either. But that face.. she looks like her. But it didn’t feel like her anymore, it was like a new person took over that young ladies body. She never once hit on me when she was around me before. And now she slept with me and another woman for some unknown reason. This is crazier than the time I battle rapped at the bar.

(He stares at the picture and can’t get over something.)

REX: Was it really her? Was it just a very similar face? I have to get some leverage in this Cynthia deal. I have too. I gotta get more security in REBEL. Being champ is the biggest thing going right now, for me. I gotta come up with something big, something so awesome that there’s no chance in hell Rick can fire me, without losing tons of money. And how can I tell if that is indeed Amy? There’s only one man who can tell me, and unfortunately I have to bring this girl, and Kyle together. How the hell can that happen? That will never happen. I’d owe him then, so I have to think of something else. I need... collateral.

(Then the concerned look on the bald sexy man’s face lights up like a Christmas tree at night. He picks up his phone. He dials a number and smiles.)

REX: Yo, it’s the champ. I gotta proposal for you and yours closest pals.

Trust me?

You don’t have too, but hear me out.

(The scene there fades out. Is that it? Oh, hell no.. We fade up at the same gym of Rex Caliber, but a few extra people are present. We have a rather ugly woman wielding a camera. Some guys with light stands, and backgrounds. A make up artist working over Rex, and a woman with a lap top computer sitting next to Rex.)

REX: So we gonna do the interview part of the magazine now, while they set up, and make me up?

INTERVIEWER: Sure hun! Just answer things honestly, and I’ll write it up. First off, how does it feel to be voted “America’s Sexiest Bad Boy” by the readers of Studdz Magazine for Women?

REX: I have to say it’s pretty damn cool! I’ve always had that bad boy stereotype, and it’s very accurate to say the least. I am honored that these women want to see me with hardly nothing on.

INTERVIEWER: Over the past few months that Bad Boy label has been solidified by a selfish, confident attitude on your part, do you think women deep down like that?

REX: Women are drawn to the Rebel’s that they “hope” to tame. I am just me, and I aim to make me happy. But I have to tell you that no woman has ever been left unsatisfied, especially if she paid me.

INTERVIEWER: What type of women do you prefer? And if you could have one woman who would she be?

REX: Truth be told, I prefer the confident women, who have reasons to be confident. The ones that can get my attention by just walking in the door. She knows she can have me, regardless of my celebrity and deep pockets. To answer the second question... I think the one from the Right Guard body spray commercial would pretty much be it.

INTERVIEWER: Really?

REX: Yep. I also have a possible endorsement contract with them pending.

INTERVIEWER: If you had a million dollars what would you do first?

REX: I’m nearing that in my bank account now, and once my bar sells, I’ll exceed that. But I’ve always told myself I’d do two women at the same time. But that’s happened, so probably... three women?!

INTERVIEWER: You totally stole that from Office Space.

REX: Yes and no. It was in that movie, but it’s still one hundred percent true.

INTERVIEWER: What’s your immediate goal?

REX: Stay REBEL Champ until I retire, and get NAPW out of the red.

INTERVIEWER: What made you decide to be a wrestler?

REX: I loved wrestling in school, it gave me a reason to live. When I graduated, my wealthy parents gave me money for school, which I went behind their backs, flew to Japan, and went to a wrestling dojo. I learned my craft there and they taught me discipline. I am the man I am, because of Japan.

INTERVIEWER: Any special fetishes the future ladies of Rex might want to know?

REX: I used to love to be handcuffed, but after nearly getting killed by a chair shot while handcuffed, I don’t like it anymore.

INTERVIEWER: A woman did that while being intimate?

REX: A bitch did it, a bitch by the name of Bob Ravager, but it wasn’t while being intimate, but rather a wrestling match.

INTERVIEWER: That word is frowned upon here, can you change that word for press?

REX: A “woman like man” did that, a “woman like man” by the name of Bob Ravager.

INTERVIEWER: That is still not right.

REX: I’m a bad boy, print it.

INTERVIEWER: What’s the worse thing you’ve ever done?

REX: How long you got? (laughs) I hospitalized my manager for costing me a match. I recently slept with my boss' wife, and my opponents ex girlfriend. I had my son taken away from me for partying to hard. I tried to kill a man while he was handcuffed. I am the most hated man in independent wrestling.

INTERVIEWER: Damn... Any parting words to the readers of Studdz?

REX: You can make any dream come true if you just disregard the feelings of everyone around you.

(Rex is fully made up, takes off his towel. and is only wearing a leopard printed G String.)

REX: It’s show time.

(The camera woman comes over, and Rex stands next to a backdrop of the beach. Rex gets a prop surfboard and shades.)

CAMERA WOMAN: Ok, stud, give me a flex.

(Rex flexes and humps the air some. She snaps pic after pic.)

CAMERA WOMAN: Now do a karate stretch straddling the board.

(Rex does it and never smiles, letting off the bad boy vibe. )

CAMERA WOMAN: Do some push ups!

(Rex takes the push up position, and does ten, then some one handed ones.)

CAMERA WOMAN: (snapping away) Ok, now take get on your knees, and lean back.

(Rex tries that and falls backwards.)

CAMERA WOMAN: That’s ok.. prop your leg up and pose. You are a natural, it’s like you practice modeling, or posing in the mirror all the time!

REX: (looking like he got caught) Must come natural.

CAMERA WOMAN: I need some more film. Change to the fireman props, and put the flame G String on. We’ll use that stripper pole in it, put a firehouse background to it.

(The crew changes up everything and Rex changes. In walks Angela and Rex’s nearly naked butt is shown as she stares.)

ANGELA: DAMN! I could bounce a quarter off those cheeks...

(Rex turns around and Angela’s eyes are still down. She then looks shocked as she looks up.)

ANGELA: OH! I’m so sorry Rex.. (looking very sorry) I didn’t know it was you, or I’d never lusted.

REX: It’s ok, all women do that to me. So what you need?

ANGELA: The meeting is set up, and they’re more than happy to have it.

REX: GOOD!

CAMERA WOMAN: PLACES PEOPLE! We have a fire that this hunky firemen needs to put out.

(Rex has a helmet and his REBEL title on now. A sign behind Rex states “Hottest Wrestler on Earth.”)

CAMERA WOMAN: Alright put the hose in your hand. Now straddle it, and I’ll get a back pic of those cheeks!

REX: WHOO! Where’s the fire ladies.. Fireman Rex is here babes!

(Rex does as told. He does it with flare too, and Angela is drooling. They do a whole roll, in various positions, and wrap the shoot.)

CAMERA WOMAN: (extending hand) Been a PLEASURE to photograph you. You will look magnificent!

REX: I already do! Send me a copy when it comes out?

CAMERA WOMAN: Of course, (coming closer to whisper) and if you ever want to do full nude for big bucks.. call me.

(She hands him a card, and she kisses him on the cheek. Rex tries not throw up, as doesn’t like ugly women to do that.)

REX: OK?

(That scene fades to black... but we are NOT done. We fade up to backdrop of a REBEL Pro Wrestling logo. Rex is wearing a “Winning is Criminal” T-shirt as he constantly promotes his NAPW events. The very coveted REBEL Title belt is on his shoulder.)

REX: The time is ticking down. For the first time in a long time, I trained hard by myself. I’ve trained a ton, and still took care of business. This Tuesday, I aim to put an end to the talk. The rumors are running rampant that I haven’t won anything on my own. Did you hear Sparx complain about losing? No, because he is a better man. He doesn’t need to toss around made up stories and lies to make people doubt me. The bottom line is... that REBEL has no rules. So no rules have ever been broken. Now, just because Bruno had no friends, and his friend that did show up was a pussy.. by the way, see you in TEAM Bob! Just because of that, Bruno had no reason to complain. Tommy Deathrow had no reason, cause his partner showed up. So you tell me? Who are you Kyle Roberts, to try to cheapen my great wins? You are nothing in this business, but a decent tag wrestler. You know why you are a better tag wrestler? It’s simple Kyle, you can’t wrestle long periods of time. I question your cardio. I think you will be breathing hard after five minutes, and you will never be able to keep up with the Marathon Man Rex. You sir, need to just QUIT! You quit the NAPW, you quit DX, you quit trying for the only woman who could stand you. You are a quitter. I might make you tap out, since your so good at it.

(Rex does the tap sign on his belt.)

REX: That’s you Kyle. So you enter this match with fury, with anger, with this big purpose. You think the last meeting was a fluke, and totally forget that I’ve beaten you twice before in straight up tag matches, not gimmick ones. Kyle hasn’t been training, he has been pumping gas, and talking to bums. That’s how he prepares to take on the best wrestler alive? Really? That’s how, Kyle? You are a (BLEEP)ing joke, and rest assured THIS IS THE LAST TIME! No more title chances for Kyle.

(Rex puts his belt on the other shoulder.)

REX: This Tuesday starts with an announcement that will shake REBEL to it’s very FOUNDATION! Tune in for that and to see Kyle Roberts last title opportunity.

(Fade to Black.)

OOC: Edited after work, due to a few grammatical errors. No content changed.

[Stylin' Kyle Roberts [REBEL]]

(We open in on the Irregardless Cafe in Raleigh. It doesn't look like much, an older green building sitting in the middle of trees, but really, you can't judge a book by its cover. Well, unless you're Kyle Roberts, strolling into frame. He's wearing a nice suit, and he looks at the building. No, this is the Irregardless Cafe, alright. Kyle shakes his head and enters.

The restaurant looks pretty much the same from in the inside. Totally unpretentious. It looks like the stereotypical Southern home cookin' joint. Very homey. And, sitting at a table off to the side, dressed in a somewhat casual green blouse and jeans, is the marvelous Miranda, the prettier handler of Caliban. Kyle sits down at the table.)

MIRANDA: Did you have trouble finding the place?

KYLE ROBERTS: Um, no. It was right where my GPS said it was. But, I'll admit, I was expecting something... flashier.

MIRANDA: The food will speak for itself, Kyle. So, how's your week been?

KYLE ROBERTS: Good. I arrived on Tuesday, and since then, I've been training for the fight of my life.

MIRANDA: Yes, a chance at the REBEL Heavyweight title. You must feel very validated.

KYLE ROBERTS: It's been, what, three months since REBEL opened? And finally, I'm in a match for the crown jewel of Raleigh wrestling. It's all led up to this, babe. I mean, really, what wrestler wouldn't want to hold the big gold?

MIRANDA: Well, Iago isn't concerned about such things. He's satisfied with instilling fear in Caliban's opponents. (She shakes her head.) But for some reason, young Warren keeps on coming back for more punishment. It would be impressive if he wasn't so overmatched.

KYLE ROBERTS: Maybe he's got something to prove. Take it from me, toots, that really adds fuel to the fire. Like me, for instance. Last night, when I could have been out clubbing and partying like it's 2099, I was in from of my television, watching a Best of Rex Caliber DVD, trying to figure out the chink in his armour.

MIRANDA: Scouting your opponent. Very admirable, Mister Roberts.

KYLE ROBERTS: Hey, I've got to get the edge in this match somehow. God knows I don't have the safety in numbers that Rex has. And watching the matches, if there's one thing I know about Rex, he's a relentless competitor. He'll go for the jugular every time.

MIRANDA: I knew there was more to him than his goofy Mick Foley-like pandering to the crowd.

KYLE ROBERTS: You don't know him like I know him. I was against him at his most dangerous last year, when Static was playing him like a puppet. Destroying their manager Bill Fleming because the Masked Maniac told him to. Static's a man I really have to watch out for. The devious son of a bitch will do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, for a win. Do you know he named his screwdriver Stabby?

MIRANDA: I don't know, Kyle, I've been boning up on my NAPW history. Ringmaster Iago tells me that with this many opponents in REBEL who used to wrestle in NAPW, there's plenty of things I can learn from watching old matches and promos. And one thing I've seen is how ruthless Stylin' Kyle Roberts can be. You retired wrestlers, Kyle!

KYLE ROBERTS: Pffft. It would be more impressive if the wrestlers I retired would actually STAY retired. It's hard to intimidate people by saying I've broken backs if Chris Casino is walking around shooting his mouth off in Edmonton. Or if the Dude Cam Scott keeps on making cameos. I've stopped boasting about ending a wrestler's career, because if there's a class of people who are stupid enough to keep on coming back to the sport they love, it's wrestlers. We're like cockroaches.

MIRANDA: All I'm saying is that if the Man with Blood on His Hands makes an appearance, anything can happen.

KYLE ROBERTS: It would take something ginormous to get me to that stage. The only reason I went there in the first place is because the Dudes were threatening to leave me with nothing: No manager, no girlfriend. Although if there was one person I could admit to having a huge hate-on for in REBEL, now that Ravager's been canned, it's Rex. But all the trash talk in the world won't help me if I'm not doing anything about strategy in the ring. Which is why I was pleased to hear from you this afternoon.

MIRANDA: Oh? Do tell.

KYLE ROBERTS: I've got a major pain in my ass in the form of the rest of those Crimes jackals. If there was a way to even the odds, like a huge leviathan of a man taking out Static and Rees. And even though they SAY Cash is hiding out in Edmonton, a fourth man would be a very valuable asset in helping Rex keep his title. But, if say, Caliban took out the competition...

MIRANDA: I'll have to talk to Iago, but he's pretty focused on the tables match. I'm not promising anything, but I'll see what I can do.

KYLE ROBERTS: Whatever happens, I don't want Caliban running into the ring during my match. How would it look if I called Rex a huge bitch for using interference in every match to retain his belt, only for me to use the same tactic?

MIRANDA: Since when do you care about your image to the fans?

KYLE ROBERTS: Miranda, I'd be the face of the company if I pull this off. And REBEL's champion shouldn't be an insufferable (BLEEP). It already is. The champ's denouncing the only high school that would keep his ass for an entire year, he's posing in gay porn-

MIRANDA: What?

KYLE ROBERTS: Miranda, seriously. Don't you have any gay friends?

MIRANDA: A few.

KYLE ROBERTS: And have you ever seen them reading men's health magazines? Or junk like Studdz?

MIRANDA: Of course. There's hot men in there.

KYLE ROBERTS: So when you've got the champion of REBEL in a banana hammock on the cover of Studdz?

MIRANDA: Oh, god. (She giggles.) My friend Adam has a subscription.

KYLE ROBERTS: Don't you think REBEL needs a champion they can be proud of? Someone who won't embarrass the company every chance he gets?

MIRANDA: And you're saying you'd be more honorable than Rex Caliber.

KYLE ROBERTS: Not that hard to do. And besides, we're talking OUTSIDE the ring here. Inside the ring, as long as I'm winning matches, that's all the company cares about. I mean, I'm not going to try to be a hero to children or anything, but Raleigh needs someone who can project class. And no hometown hillbilly is going to measure up to an urbane Canadian. Someone who actually got himself a communications diploma. And, let's face it, I'm a lot more photogenic than a cross-eyed bearded baldie. Unless he's wearing a leather biker's cap and is appearing with a cowboy, policeman, and other gay stereotypes.

MIRANDA: Too true.

KYLE ROBERTS: So, what shall we order? What's good here?

MIRANDA: Oh, just about everything.

(Kyle and Miranda clink wineglasses as we fade out. Across town, at Kyle's apartment, a manila envelope is slipped under the door. A hand reaches in and picks it up, opening it to pull out a few eight by ten glossies. We pull out to see Ryan Kingston, Kyle's legal aide and sometime roommate. His face blanches.)

RYAN KINGSTON: Oh, Kyle is not going to like this...

(BLACK! FADED! DONE!)

Miranda used with permission.

[Stylin' Kyle Roberts [REBEL]]

(In our last promo, Kyle was at dinner with a lovely lady, Ryan was horrified of pictures involving a fugly lady, and Rex Caliber was wishing he could be a lady. We now join the promo in progress at the condo of Kyle Roberts...)

(Kyle's looking over the pictures that Ryan was fretting about. He doesn't look impressed.)

KYLE ROBERTS: And I'm looking at a buck naked Rex for what reason, exactly?

RYAN KINGSTON: Because he's having sex with your ex-girlfriend?

KYLE ROBERTS: Well, that's impossible. What, you're saying that Amy was coerced into coming down to Raleigh for a one night stand?

RYAN KINGSTON: She didn't?

KYLE ROBERTS: Of COURSE she didn't! It's not like I'm keeping tabs on her since the month after she left me, but if I call up her cell phone, I'm sure she'd answer. But that's not the reason I'm not sweating anything. It's because this is not a picture of Amy with Rex.

RYAN KINGSTON: It's not?

KYLE ROBERTS: Well, it is a picture of a girl who looks a lot like Amy, yes. And she's kissing Rex. But if there's one thing I know about the girl I spent two years of my life with, it's what she looks like naked.

RYAN KINGSTON: And that's not a naked Amy? That's a very good editing job.

KYLE ROBERTS: You're wrong. It is a naked Amy.

RYAN KINGSTON: Wait, now I'm confused.

KYLE ROBERTS: It's a naked Amy, in the delectable flesh. But it's a five-year-old picture of Amy in the flesh. The Photoshopped part is the ex-wife of our illustrious REBEL owner in the same timeframe as Rex. For one thing, since that spring break she took in Florida, there was a tattoo she got on her right shoulder. It's not in this picture.

RYAN KINGSTON: Let me look closer.

KYLE ROBERTS: (snatches the pictures away from Ryan) (BLEEP) you. If there's one thing that I AM mad about when it comes to Rex Caliber, it's that he DID send out a naked picture of my ex-girlfriend even if it was an old shot. Everyone's looking at the bits that were at one time saved for me and me only. Now, of course, you know that this means war!

RYAN KINGSTON: What do you mean?

KYLE ROBERTS: A degree in communications means that I have some very elite Photoshop skills. I'll be back in a bit!

(Clock wipe. The title "Three hours later..." appears. Kyle exits his computer room.)

RYAN KINGSTON: So?

KYLE ROBERTS: What?

RYAN KINGSTON: Your Photoshopping?

KYLE ROBERTS: Crap! Thanks for reminding me!

RYAN KINGSTON: What have you been doing in there for the past three hours? Wait, don't answer that.

(The computer room door closes again. Another clock wipe. The door opens, with Kyle brandishing some printouts.)

KYLE ROBERTS: Okay, so here we go! Exhibit one! Rex with a bunch of guys!

(It's the same picture that had Amy and Mrs. Garrett, no, not from the Facts of Life, that would be creepy, this time with men in their places.)

Exhibit two!

(Did I say creepy before? Because this time, it's Sexy Rexy with the Mrs. Garrett I was talking about earlier. Shudder.)

And la piece de resistance!

(A picture with Rex in a field, his arm up a cow's posterior.)

RYAN KINGSTON: That's a good one. You can't even see the editing.

KYLE ROBERTS: No, that's real. Remember our trip to British Columbia? And how Rex was REALLY drunk?

RYAN KINGSTON: Oh, god, where was I?

KYLE ROBERTS: Rest stop. I think your head is visible about a hundred feet away.

RYAN KINGSTON: Ah.

KYLE ROBERTS: You know what? This makes me feel a CRAPLOAD better! I'm going to go and train a bit.

RYAN KINGSTON: Remember our strategy. Stay away from the predictable moves.

KYLE ROBERTS: No problems! Remember the four way match and how crazy I was then? Expect a lot more spontaneity in the ring on Tuesday! These stupid Raleigh fans will see a new champion, one that pulls out ALL the stops! A champion they finally deserve!

(Kyle opens the door and poke his head back through once more.)

KYLE ROBERTS: Wait until they get a load of Stylin' Kyle Roberts, new REBEL Heavyweight champion! Crimes, you'd better get set for one rocky ride!

(The door slams. Ryan shakes his head.)

RYAN KINGSTON: We've created a monster.

(Edited for formatting.)