Post by David Banks on Apr 29, 2007 4:19:50 GMT -5
Murcielago who do you think you are kidding? You dare call me out, trying to taint all the accomplishments that I have gathered in my career? You think one worthless person's opinion on me is going to rattle or shake me? Ouch, you got another thing coming then my friend. You see, it's not about what you think about what I have done here in Rebel Pro, that doesn't matter. It's all about the facts, and the FACT is that I am one of the, if not THE, best performer that this company has ever seen. That fact will only be personified on "Ladder To Success" as I walk in as the NAPW Tag Team Champion and leave with the Carolinas Championship to go along with it.
"Stop putting up this front, man. You know you don’t want war. You want peace. It’s just too bad that the peace you’re getting is a piece of my grand lesson plan, where the master shows the ignorant student just exactly how the game is played. You’re Canadian cold, dropping lines that make viewers shiver in boredom. But the master, Mr. Banks, is red hot. I drop lines so fiery, they leave the masses wondering who in the hell let Lucifer get his hands on the microphone. Don’t kid yourself, Murcielago. I am the devil to you, your worst nightmare come to life."
"Matthew Kurtis, wants to diss me because I got him confused with his brother. Sorry, losers all look alike. I’ll just try to ignore the fact that you called me "The Chariman". But I must admit... I did make a mistake. WOW! That enormous weight just came right off of my shoulders. Now the only weight on shoulders I have to worry about is when your girl rides my face."
"I AM alive Kurtis and willing to help my fellow wrestler. I'm ready to give you advice and hope you break out of this depressing funk that you consider such a hot streak. Maybe I can give you tips on the finer points of dropping a promo. Maybe I should teach you how to truly insult someone, and not come off as some generic bitch that gets his material from the cutting room floor of an Doomriders production room. But then I take a step back and realize you’re just a lost cause. So instead of letting you bite my words, I’m going to let you bite on this verbal firearm. And when these blasts go off inside your mouth, the farce of an experiment that is Matthew Kurtiss will come to a merciful end."
"But when I end your life, I’ll be sure to send your family a sympathy card...and wait for them to send me their thank-you cards. But they won’t be thanking me for my compassion. They’ll be thanking me for getting rid of the single biggest embarrassment in their family’s history. You’ve got an appointment in Heaven, and I wouldn’t want you to miss it for the world. So pack your bags, because I’m sending you up to that big ring in the sky. Look on the bright side... at least you’ll be able to finally say you’re higher up than David Banks."
"On second thought, that might not be possible"
"Cataclysm! I knew it! I knew you were a closet David Banks fan. You're the first opponent I've ever had that actually wanted one of my hateful beatings. You'll aslo be the last. I toss hate around like it’s nothing, much like I’ll be tossing your carcass, along with your career, into the tall grass, never to be seen again. These hateful and homicidal lyrics are hitting each one of your vital organs. You’re going into cardiac arrest, choking, and hemorrhaging in the brain all at the same time. There’s no medical treatment, no life support strong enough to prevent the death that is so clearly on the way.
"Don't call my "Dave". Don't call me "The Chairman". call me the Shooting star, the Technical Wizard, the Ring Doctor, the Submission Exhibition, the Commodore of kick-your-ass, the sherpa who carries a heavy backpack up a mountain and inside is YOU tapping the hell out. You can call me the Charismatic Colossus too. Just don't abbreviate, trick."
"... Brian Bruno... stay the hell away from me.."
______________________________
(Jenny Jersey walked through the mall, trusty camera at her side. She had a hot tip that the Charismatic Collosus, David Banks, was somewhere in here and she wanted to get his thoughts on the upcoming ThrowDown and his chance at the Carolinas title... among other things. She knows about his injuries he sustained over the past few weeks, and was curious what impact that might have had or will have on upcoming matches.)
(David almost walked right into Jenny as he stepped out of the GNC. No he isn't selling hateonall.)
David Banks: Excuse me, damn - oh, it's you, what's up.(staring over the top of his sunglasses.) You must be lost. 'Bimbos - R - Us' is at the other end of the mall.
Jenny Jersey: Very funny.
David Banks: Hey, hey... just a little joke. So what do I owe the honor of your ravishing presence?
Jenny Jersey:(lifted the camera to her shoulder.) I wanted to get -
David Banks: Are you crazy? Put that camera down! You want to start a damn mob frenzy? You'll have the Hate Nation by the dozens around here. Come with me.
(Jenny chased after the Tag Champion as he walked down the corridor. He turned down a small hallway and stepped through the door... the Men's Bathroom. Jenny stops and shakes her head.)
Jenny: Oh no! I'm not going in there!
David stuck his arm out, grabbing Jersey by the wrist and pulled her into the Men's Room. Jenny kept the camera by her side, slightly embarrassed as she entered the room. Bob standing at the urinal struggled to zip himself up quickly at the sight of a woman in the sanctity of the bathroom.
David Banks: Don't get it stuck in the zipper, buddy.
(Poor bob, who judging by the small stain on the front of his pants, hadn't quite finished his business before tucking and zipping.)
David Banks: Hey Jersey! Either Bob is really afraid of me, or he reeeeeally likes you!
(David chuckled as Bob turned red with humiliation and fled the room.)
Jenny Jersey: (lifted the camera to her shoulder) You can be a real jackass sometimes, you know that?
David Banks: Awwww, I was just having a little fun... what's life if you can't enjoy yourself?
(David sat down on the counter, resting his GNC bag on the floor.)
David Banks: Now you obviously want an interview cause you're still in here. Start talking.
Jenny Jersey: Let's start with your injuries. Would you say you're at one hundred percent?.
(David rolled his head from side to side, a loud popping noise coming from his neck.)
David Banks: Are you serious? Weren't you at "Golden Opportunitie"? Did you see, just like the rest of North America what my body was put through? Dio Muerte tryed to kill me. Not to mention, that garbage wrestler, Tommy Deathrow, re-opening my stites to the delight of the fans. It's getting hard for me to even sleep at night. And add to that this damn mild concussion and I'm one (BLEEP)ed up bitch! One hundred percent, HA! I'll be lucky if I'm 70 percent. But since you asked, I guess I'm fine, thank you.
Jenny Jersey: So why are you wrestling? You're obviously in no condition... you could get seriously hurt.
David Banks: (pointing to his head) I'm already seriously hurt! But look, there's three reasons why I'm still going out there to wrestle tonight. One, I'm making Rebel Pro the most money. And they're gonna get every last drop of money cause they know the fans pay their money to see the best wrestling possible and you're only gonna get it from David Banks. (Holding up two finger) Two, I bring Rebel the highest ratings. I mean, look at the ticket sales for the show, it sure as hell ain't for that crappy Heavy weight title match. Look at the ratings for TNF when I wrestle.! Everybody and their baby momma's cousin's hairdresser tunes in to see the Reason there even is a Show. And three... more gold baby! I just can't resist gold. It's what keeps me going strong day in and day out. It's what kept me taking a leave of absence to heal. And besides, I'm notlike some champions who hide behind their titles or have premade excuses as to why they can't wrestle this week. And even if I did, I'd still go out there and perform, just for the hell of it.
Jenny Jersey: But what about you wrestling for multiple promations at the same time? Are you that egotistical that you have to get your name out all across the world?
David Banks: I'll let you in on a little secret, Jenny. I like wrestling so much, that I have to go to other promotions to get a decent fight out of people. But I plan on signing any deals with anymore promotions in a while. My name is ready internationally known. As long as I'm getting pained, I'll stick around. So don't worry your little head about me leaving you.
Jenny Jersey: Ohhh, my hero...
David Banks: I know, I know... I should be EVERYONE'S hero! I'm a man, that kids everywhere can look up to. I mean, I'm not an immigrant like Caliban, or an arrogant prick like Murcielago, or a misunderstood jackass like Cataclysm, or even a snobby bitch like Matthew Kurtis. I'm a man that embodies everything that is right with our society. You have another question for your hero?"
Jenny Jersey: I two more days you get the chance of a lifetime. You get a shot at the Carolinas Championship. With five other men in the ring, do you think tou can become the first ever Carolinas Champion?
(David stands up.)
David Banks: The Carolinas title. I knew it was only a matter of time before I got my shot to fulfill my destiny. Murcielago
, the loud mouth with nothing to show for it. A man I'm ready to carry to a FIVE STAR match at G-O. The only man in this fed dumb enough to bet on themselves after they already lost the match. The only man who needs a shrink to tell them that they're stupid. But there's one smart thing he should be doing... pulling a Clint Zellor and shut the HELL up! Ever since this match was made, no one has heard a peep old Clint. And can you blame him? I would shut my mouth too if I were facing me and I had no chance to win."
(Jenny started to speak, but the Charismatic Collossus cut her off.
David Banks: No, no, no. I got alot more I wanna say, sweetie. See, Murcielago is a prime example of why I'm carrying this place on my back. It's gonna be because of me when I carry him to a FIVE STAR match, that the people, the wrestling world will actually give a damn about him. Hell, they'll finally be able to say that they know what the guy looks like. Now sure, I can't make him into a star like I've done for so many others, but I can at least get him noticed, like I did for Dio.
Jenny Jersey: But what about Brian -
David Banks: I know, B4 is in this just to hurt. But at least the people now notice him enough to know that he sucks. I mean, he beat the Foundation and some other... big (BLEEP)ing deal! Before he was just a pimple of the wrestling world's ass. Now, after he has the pleasure of losing the Carolinas title to me, he'll be a hair on the wrestling world's ass! A major upgrade. So this Thursday, don't be fooled when at the end of the night, I'm holding two title over my head. Title opportunity after title opportunity and he ALWAYS drops the ball. He can bring his Spinebusters, Powerbomb, Blind Rage, a plate of sushi, a Playstation 3, and Godzilla himself and the deck STILL wouldn't be stacked in his favor. I don't give damn if this match is a ladder match or a Matthew's Extra Small Jock Strap on a pole match, the fact of the matter is that I'm the best superstar Rebel has. Period. And after Tuesday is over... I'll have the title to prove it."
Jenny Jersey: Any plans for the supershow?
David Banks: Damn, can I get some rest before you start talking about the next one. Anyway, it doesn't matter who I face, just know that you're gonna get the same five star quality you always get when you watch the Guiding Light of NAPW and RPW! But I will say this, no matter what, I will walk into the super a double champion.
(Shawn walked towards the urinal.)
David Banks: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to tinkle. Unless you wanna wait until after I'm finished then we can got into one of those stalls and you can speak into MY microphone... eh? ehhhhhhhhh?
(Jenny walked out of the bathroom and damn near ran into the door on the way out. Then we FADE OUT.)
"Stop putting up this front, man. You know you don’t want war. You want peace. It’s just too bad that the peace you’re getting is a piece of my grand lesson plan, where the master shows the ignorant student just exactly how the game is played. You’re Canadian cold, dropping lines that make viewers shiver in boredom. But the master, Mr. Banks, is red hot. I drop lines so fiery, they leave the masses wondering who in the hell let Lucifer get his hands on the microphone. Don’t kid yourself, Murcielago. I am the devil to you, your worst nightmare come to life."
"Matthew Kurtis, wants to diss me because I got him confused with his brother. Sorry, losers all look alike. I’ll just try to ignore the fact that you called me "The Chariman". But I must admit... I did make a mistake. WOW! That enormous weight just came right off of my shoulders. Now the only weight on shoulders I have to worry about is when your girl rides my face."
"I AM alive Kurtis and willing to help my fellow wrestler. I'm ready to give you advice and hope you break out of this depressing funk that you consider such a hot streak. Maybe I can give you tips on the finer points of dropping a promo. Maybe I should teach you how to truly insult someone, and not come off as some generic bitch that gets his material from the cutting room floor of an Doomriders production room. But then I take a step back and realize you’re just a lost cause. So instead of letting you bite my words, I’m going to let you bite on this verbal firearm. And when these blasts go off inside your mouth, the farce of an experiment that is Matthew Kurtiss will come to a merciful end."
"But when I end your life, I’ll be sure to send your family a sympathy card...and wait for them to send me their thank-you cards. But they won’t be thanking me for my compassion. They’ll be thanking me for getting rid of the single biggest embarrassment in their family’s history. You’ve got an appointment in Heaven, and I wouldn’t want you to miss it for the world. So pack your bags, because I’m sending you up to that big ring in the sky. Look on the bright side... at least you’ll be able to finally say you’re higher up than David Banks."
"On second thought, that might not be possible"
"Cataclysm! I knew it! I knew you were a closet David Banks fan. You're the first opponent I've ever had that actually wanted one of my hateful beatings. You'll aslo be the last. I toss hate around like it’s nothing, much like I’ll be tossing your carcass, along with your career, into the tall grass, never to be seen again. These hateful and homicidal lyrics are hitting each one of your vital organs. You’re going into cardiac arrest, choking, and hemorrhaging in the brain all at the same time. There’s no medical treatment, no life support strong enough to prevent the death that is so clearly on the way.
"Don't call my "Dave". Don't call me "The Chairman". call me the Shooting star, the Technical Wizard, the Ring Doctor, the Submission Exhibition, the Commodore of kick-your-ass, the sherpa who carries a heavy backpack up a mountain and inside is YOU tapping the hell out. You can call me the Charismatic Colossus too. Just don't abbreviate, trick."
"... Brian Bruno... stay the hell away from me.."
______________________________
(Jenny Jersey walked through the mall, trusty camera at her side. She had a hot tip that the Charismatic Collosus, David Banks, was somewhere in here and she wanted to get his thoughts on the upcoming ThrowDown and his chance at the Carolinas title... among other things. She knows about his injuries he sustained over the past few weeks, and was curious what impact that might have had or will have on upcoming matches.)
(David almost walked right into Jenny as he stepped out of the GNC. No he isn't selling hateonall.)
David Banks: Excuse me, damn - oh, it's you, what's up.(staring over the top of his sunglasses.) You must be lost. 'Bimbos - R - Us' is at the other end of the mall.
Jenny Jersey: Very funny.
David Banks: Hey, hey... just a little joke. So what do I owe the honor of your ravishing presence?
Jenny Jersey:(lifted the camera to her shoulder.) I wanted to get -
David Banks: Are you crazy? Put that camera down! You want to start a damn mob frenzy? You'll have the Hate Nation by the dozens around here. Come with me.
(Jenny chased after the Tag Champion as he walked down the corridor. He turned down a small hallway and stepped through the door... the Men's Bathroom. Jenny stops and shakes her head.)
Jenny: Oh no! I'm not going in there!
David stuck his arm out, grabbing Jersey by the wrist and pulled her into the Men's Room. Jenny kept the camera by her side, slightly embarrassed as she entered the room. Bob standing at the urinal struggled to zip himself up quickly at the sight of a woman in the sanctity of the bathroom.
David Banks: Don't get it stuck in the zipper, buddy.
(Poor bob, who judging by the small stain on the front of his pants, hadn't quite finished his business before tucking and zipping.)
David Banks: Hey Jersey! Either Bob is really afraid of me, or he reeeeeally likes you!
(David chuckled as Bob turned red with humiliation and fled the room.)
Jenny Jersey: (lifted the camera to her shoulder) You can be a real jackass sometimes, you know that?
David Banks: Awwww, I was just having a little fun... what's life if you can't enjoy yourself?
(David sat down on the counter, resting his GNC bag on the floor.)
David Banks: Now you obviously want an interview cause you're still in here. Start talking.
Jenny Jersey: Let's start with your injuries. Would you say you're at one hundred percent?.
(David rolled his head from side to side, a loud popping noise coming from his neck.)
David Banks: Are you serious? Weren't you at "Golden Opportunitie"? Did you see, just like the rest of North America what my body was put through? Dio Muerte tryed to kill me. Not to mention, that garbage wrestler, Tommy Deathrow, re-opening my stites to the delight of the fans. It's getting hard for me to even sleep at night. And add to that this damn mild concussion and I'm one (BLEEP)ed up bitch! One hundred percent, HA! I'll be lucky if I'm 70 percent. But since you asked, I guess I'm fine, thank you.
Jenny Jersey: So why are you wrestling? You're obviously in no condition... you could get seriously hurt.
David Banks: (pointing to his head) I'm already seriously hurt! But look, there's three reasons why I'm still going out there to wrestle tonight. One, I'm making Rebel Pro the most money. And they're gonna get every last drop of money cause they know the fans pay their money to see the best wrestling possible and you're only gonna get it from David Banks. (Holding up two finger) Two, I bring Rebel the highest ratings. I mean, look at the ticket sales for the show, it sure as hell ain't for that crappy Heavy weight title match. Look at the ratings for TNF when I wrestle.! Everybody and their baby momma's cousin's hairdresser tunes in to see the Reason there even is a Show. And three... more gold baby! I just can't resist gold. It's what keeps me going strong day in and day out. It's what kept me taking a leave of absence to heal. And besides, I'm notlike some champions who hide behind their titles or have premade excuses as to why they can't wrestle this week. And even if I did, I'd still go out there and perform, just for the hell of it.
Jenny Jersey: But what about you wrestling for multiple promations at the same time? Are you that egotistical that you have to get your name out all across the world?
David Banks: I'll let you in on a little secret, Jenny. I like wrestling so much, that I have to go to other promotions to get a decent fight out of people. But I plan on signing any deals with anymore promotions in a while. My name is ready internationally known. As long as I'm getting pained, I'll stick around. So don't worry your little head about me leaving you.
Jenny Jersey: Ohhh, my hero...
David Banks: I know, I know... I should be EVERYONE'S hero! I'm a man, that kids everywhere can look up to. I mean, I'm not an immigrant like Caliban, or an arrogant prick like Murcielago, or a misunderstood jackass like Cataclysm, or even a snobby bitch like Matthew Kurtis. I'm a man that embodies everything that is right with our society. You have another question for your hero?"
Jenny Jersey: I two more days you get the chance of a lifetime. You get a shot at the Carolinas Championship. With five other men in the ring, do you think tou can become the first ever Carolinas Champion?
(David stands up.)
David Banks: The Carolinas title. I knew it was only a matter of time before I got my shot to fulfill my destiny. Murcielago
, the loud mouth with nothing to show for it. A man I'm ready to carry to a FIVE STAR match at G-O. The only man in this fed dumb enough to bet on themselves after they already lost the match. The only man who needs a shrink to tell them that they're stupid. But there's one smart thing he should be doing... pulling a Clint Zellor and shut the HELL up! Ever since this match was made, no one has heard a peep old Clint. And can you blame him? I would shut my mouth too if I were facing me and I had no chance to win."
(Jenny started to speak, but the Charismatic Collossus cut her off.
David Banks: No, no, no. I got alot more I wanna say, sweetie. See, Murcielago is a prime example of why I'm carrying this place on my back. It's gonna be because of me when I carry him to a FIVE STAR match, that the people, the wrestling world will actually give a damn about him. Hell, they'll finally be able to say that they know what the guy looks like. Now sure, I can't make him into a star like I've done for so many others, but I can at least get him noticed, like I did for Dio.
Jenny Jersey: But what about Brian -
David Banks: I know, B4 is in this just to hurt. But at least the people now notice him enough to know that he sucks. I mean, he beat the Foundation and some other... big (BLEEP)ing deal! Before he was just a pimple of the wrestling world's ass. Now, after he has the pleasure of losing the Carolinas title to me, he'll be a hair on the wrestling world's ass! A major upgrade. So this Thursday, don't be fooled when at the end of the night, I'm holding two title over my head. Title opportunity after title opportunity and he ALWAYS drops the ball. He can bring his Spinebusters, Powerbomb, Blind Rage, a plate of sushi, a Playstation 3, and Godzilla himself and the deck STILL wouldn't be stacked in his favor. I don't give damn if this match is a ladder match or a Matthew's Extra Small Jock Strap on a pole match, the fact of the matter is that I'm the best superstar Rebel has. Period. And after Tuesday is over... I'll have the title to prove it."
Jenny Jersey: Any plans for the supershow?
David Banks: Damn, can I get some rest before you start talking about the next one. Anyway, it doesn't matter who I face, just know that you're gonna get the same five star quality you always get when you watch the Guiding Light of NAPW and RPW! But I will say this, no matter what, I will walk into the super a double champion.
(Shawn walked towards the urinal.)
David Banks: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to tinkle. Unless you wanna wait until after I'm finished then we can got into one of those stalls and you can speak into MY microphone... eh? ehhhhhhhhh?
(Jenny walked out of the bathroom and damn near ran into the door on the way out. Then we FADE OUT.)