Post by MackaBEE on Apr 5, 2007 13:53:16 GMT -5
Brian Bruno versus Rex Caliber versus... MAAACKKKKAAAABEEEE!
Rebel Gold on the line. Bragging rights to be named the first ever Rebel Heavyweight champion. What a wild ride it's going to be...
It's 9:59 PM, a few ticks away from the witching hour. The scene; Carmen's Cuban Cafe and Lounge in downtown Raleigh, and in less than a minute the Cuban Cafe will transform into Carmen's Night Club. The line has already formed to the club's entrance, people anxiously waiting to get in to the Latin dance club. A white 2005 BMW Series 6 Cabriolet rolls up to the front, and a man as stylish as the car he drives steps out wearing an all white cloth suite, black RayBands, and a pair of brown Camper Tods on his feet. This is MackaBEE. The half-Cuban tosses his keys to the approaching valet, and begins walking towards the front of the line. All the men are jealous of him, and all the women are all asking, "Who is that?" The bouncer removes the red rope barrier as he and MackaBEE smile. Just before MackaBEE reaches the ropes, he is stopped by Jenny Jersey and a camera crew.
"MackaBEE! MackaBEE wait for me!" The call from Jenny stops him dead in his tracks. She's an attractive girl, but in jeans and a tank top, obviously has no sense of the night life. "Sorry MackaBEE, we've been trying to find you all day. We want to get your thoughts on your Rebel Heavyweight Championship title shot."
MackaBEE smirk and cocks his head, slightly annoyed. "You want MackaBEE's thoughts? MackaBEE's going to win, that's his thoughts."
The Miami Muffdiver turns to enter the club, "but what about what Rex Caliber had to say about you?" That question made MackaBEE do an instant about face.
"Rex Caliber was flapping his gums? Well tell MackaBEE what you heard." Jenny's face blushes slightly. "Now now Jenny, go on, what did Rex Caliber have to say, because MackaBEE aint heard shit."
"Well, Rex had quite a bit to say about you, where should I start?"
Mackabee sighs, "Jenny, start at the beginning. Hell start at the middle or the end, skip chapters, MackaBEE doesn't give a damn, just tell him what you heard."
"To start, he said that if Billy would have showed up for the match, then it would be him advancing, not you."
"Wo, wo, wo!" MackaBEE looks back and gives a nod to the bouncer, signaling he's going to need a minute. "Go on sweetheart, tell MackaBEE what else was said."
"He said you have too much ego, and you haven't proved "S" to him--"
"You mean shit?"
Jenny smiles innocently, "Y-yes."
"Well go on, say shit girl, we're both adults. MackaBEE doesn't want you going on censoring what Rex Caliber has to say, so go on, inform MackaBEE of exactly what Rex has to say."
"H-he says you haven't proven... shit to him, and that he doesn't know why you were even hired. Rex said that if you ever applied for NAPW, he'd turn you down, and that you're going to pay for what you said about NAPW being "p" words."
"Damnit Jersey, you're killing MackaBEE over here. MackaBEE doesn't have time to try and decipher code words for what really was said. What did Rex say? That MackaBEE is going to eat his words for calling NAPW a bunch of penises?"
"N..no."
"Pumpernickels?"
"No, he said, he said the "P" word," Jenny says pointing down to her crotch. These southern girls sure are something else.
"Ahh, MackaBEE knows what you're saying now." MackaBEE shoots her a smile, looking her up and down. "MackaBEE loves the "p" word Jenny, would you like MackaBEE to show you how much he loves the "p" word?"
Jenny's entire face turns red, but she can't help but to smile, "MackaBEE! We... look, Rex called you a pussy. What do you have to say about that?"
"Look Jenny, Rex can yap his mouth all day and all night about how MackaBEE doesn't deserve to be where he is, MackaBEE doesn't care if Rex wouldn't accept a Kinkos'ed resume from Mack, and MackaBEE sure as hell doesn't give a goat about what Rex says he's going to do to MackaBEE. For one, Rex has no clue about MackaBEE. Truth of the matter, MackaBEE has chewed up and spit out all the competition on the east coast and mid west of the indy scene. So what if Rex doesn't know a thing about it, because MackaBEE isn't here to prove shit to Rex, MackaBEE's here to prove he's the best to EVERYONE. Secondly, MackaBEE would never apply to NAPW. It's too damn cold in Canukia, and the competition just isn't thick enough for MackaBEE. Now MackaBEE called everyone in NAPW a bunch of pussies, and it damn sure doesn't help their case that one of their toughest no-showed against MackaBEE. Billy Kryenik knows what was on the line, and obviously has his priorities in a much different order than MackaBEE. Now maybe MackaBEE was out of line for calling NAPW a bunch of razor bumped juicy pussies, but the fact of this matter is, nobody in that federation comes close to stacking up against MackaBEE."
"So is that the closest thing to an apology we're going to hear from you?"
"No, MackaBEE wants to go on record right to give the biggest apology you will ever hear from the Miami Muff Diver's lips. Are you ready for this Jenny?" Jenny shakes her head, leaning in closer to hear a possible sense of compassion from the Mack. "MackaBEE is sorry. MackaBEE is real sorry. MackaBEE's unbelievably sorry! Do you know what for Jenny?"
"No, what are you sorry for?"
"MackaBEE is sorry for what is going to happen to Rex Caliber this Tuesday! MackaBEE is sorry for the utter asswhooping Rex is going to recieve at the hands of MackaBEE! MackaBEE is sorry for all the pain, all the torture and all the blood that is going to spill from your body Rex. But you're in the way. You're in the way of MackaBEE's number one goal. Understand right now, what MackaBEE wants, MackaBEE gets. It doesn't matter if it's you, Brian Bruno, Stylin' Kyle, the fish suckin' Newfoundland LDK, Caliban, Mathew Kurtis, or Ravager himself! MackaBEE can't lie Rex, MackaBEE respects you on a few levels, but you don't stand a chance in hell against the Mack. MackaBEE's coming at you with blazing fury, and MackaBEE is going to walk out with Rebel gold around his waist. That, God as MackaBEE's witness, is a guarantee!”
By the time MackaBEE finishes talking, he notices those in the line for Carmen’s Nightclub are now inching closer to him and Jenny Jersey. “Wow. Now that’s a lot to say about Rex Caliber, but Brian Bruno is also in this match, and well, you’ve already had quite a bit to say about him.”
“Brian Bruno. Hell, at least MackaBEE has an inkling of respect for Rex Caliber, but Brian Bruno, he can’t even tie MackaBEE’s boots! “ MackaBEE tears off his sun glasses, looking the camera right in the lens, “MackaBEE’s been marking Brian Bruno since Rebel was announced, and now MackaBEE’s getting the chance to rip Bruno three ways to Southern Texas. With Rex there it changes the dynamic MackaBEE wanted. With Rex there it takes MackaBEE’s focus off of you slightly. You see MackaBEE wanted a match with you one-on-one. MackaBEE wanted to come at you like you were painted red and MackaBEE was a raging bull. Instead, it’s a triple threat match. That’s fine. That’s just fine. Not ideal, but fine. With the title on the line, and you in this match, well that’s two times the intensity. MackaBEE hopes you’re ready Bruno.”
Jenny cocks her head, slightly confused, as now an entire crowd is standing behind MackaBEE listening in, “Exactly, why do you hate Brian Bruno so much? I mean, he’s a mean guy, but what did he do to you?”
“What did he do to MackaBEE? He didn’t do anything. He doesn’t have to do anything to MackaBEE to make MackaBEE hate him. No, no. You see, Brian Bruno represents everything wrong with wrestling and the world in general. Brian Bruno takes his anger out on people because of his lack of manhood. He’s been known to allegedly do bad things to good people, betray his best friend, and spread the crabs he has in his eyebrows. All the things you shouldn’t do, Brian Bruno does. All of those things makes MackaBEE sick, right here in his stomach,” he says tapping his six pack through the cloth material, “and MackaBEE does not want to be associated with a man that makes MackaBEE want to chug a forty of Pepto Bismal! In fact, Brian Bruno is just like a stomach bug. The way you cure a stomach bug is with a little Pepto, and the way you cure Brian Bruno is by whooping his ass and sending him back to NAPW with his tail between his legs. That is exactly what MackaBEE intends to do to that pug faced bitch, and if MackaBEE gets the chance on Tuesday, then MackaBEE is gonna’ take it!”
Several onlookers who weren’t even in line for the club now surround the Miami Muffdiver, all connected to each word MackaBEE has to say. “One thing is for sure, this week’s Rebel Heavyweight Championship match is one you’re not going to want to miss. Now MackaBEE, after calling everyone in NAPW a bunch of…” Jenny winks at MackaBEE, “ P-words, NAPW Champion, Rex Caliber came out, as well as Deathrow… for whatever reason, attacked, and then LDK came from the back and attacked you. It was a huge brawl, and it seems if anything you really offended the NAPW part of the locker room.”
“Sweetheart, why bring up bad memories? There is one reason, and one reason only that those three came out the same time MackaBEE was out, and it wasn’t because of MackaBEE’s reference to NAPW being a bunch of pussies-nah nah. It was because they each understand just who is going to be the first Rebel Champion, and they’re looking to get first dibs. It just so happens all three of those NAPW elitists, and MackaBEE uses that term in the loosest sense, will be competing in a four-way match, along with teen-wolf in his thirties, Stylin’ Kyle, to get a shot at the first Rebel Champion. They know MackaBEE’s the front runner to take home the gold, so why not take a shot at the Mack? Rex has got balls, MackaBEE will give him that. Going out there to look MackaBEE in the face aint no easy feat, but as an exclusive Rebel wrestler, MackaBEE’s gonna show Rex sometime down the line, that NAPW doesn’t have shit on Rebel. As far as Deathrow goes, MackaBEE thinks his original intent was to attack MackaBEE, but alcohol does some crazy things to crazy people. As for that fish kisser, well he can go sit on the pointy side of a fishing pole for all MackaBEE cares. That stupid piece of unrecyclable trash wants to attack MackaBEE from behind? Well bring when MackaBEE is looking next time, you’ll see just how bad of a beating that Rebel’s finest can deliver.” MackaBEE comes suddenly aware of the horde of people he has attracted and steps back, slightly shocked. “Well hot damn. Look at all these fellas and fine ladies!”
The men yell out deep “YEAH’s!” and the women, “WOO!”
“Who here has heard of Rebel Pro Wrestling before tonight?” A few people shout out, not too many, “well how many of you want to see MackaBEE in action this Tuesday, and try to make fans out of all of you?” Everyone shouts wanting to see this articulate marvel wrestle. “MackaBEE can get the whole bunch of you cheap front row tickets for the craziest, bloodiest, hottest wrestling in all of North Carolina for this Tuesday, right here in Raleigh!” The crowd shouts louder for MackaBEE, especially mentioning the words “cheap, front row, and hottest”.
“Thanks for the interview MackaBEE,” Jenny Jersey says as she begins to walk away, as MackaBEE is obviously caught up in the crowd.
“Wo, wo, wo Jenny!” She turns back to MackaBEE, “do you like to salsa?” Jenny smiles and takes MackaBEE by the arm, “It’s time to dance people, let’s get in that damn club.” MackaBEE in the crowd begin to filter out with the camera still fixed on then, “Oh shit, MackaBEE almost forgot himself again. Everybody hold up. MackaBEE has one favor to ask you before we all go into this fine establishment and dance the night away.” MackaBEE turns his back to the camera, and draws everyone in the crowd in close, whispering something inaudible. He turns back to the camera, puts his Ray Bands back on, “this Tuesday, the Big Bitch Brian Bruno, who MackaBEE might add did not have pubic hair until he was twenty-six, will square off against the man who performs one handed gang bangs on himself, Rex Caliber, who will also meet the man of the hour, the Miami Muff Diver, MACKABEE, in a triple threat match to determine the first EVER Rebel Heavyweight Champion. Join the Rebel Revolution, and the MackaBEE Nation this Tuesday, right here in Raleigh! With that said…” MackaBEE looks around at the crowd,” mmmMMMMMMAAAAAACKKKKAAABBBEEEEE…”
The crowd finishes for him, “OUT!”
Raise the top, fade out.
Rebel Gold on the line. Bragging rights to be named the first ever Rebel Heavyweight champion. What a wild ride it's going to be...
It's 9:59 PM, a few ticks away from the witching hour. The scene; Carmen's Cuban Cafe and Lounge in downtown Raleigh, and in less than a minute the Cuban Cafe will transform into Carmen's Night Club. The line has already formed to the club's entrance, people anxiously waiting to get in to the Latin dance club. A white 2005 BMW Series 6 Cabriolet rolls up to the front, and a man as stylish as the car he drives steps out wearing an all white cloth suite, black RayBands, and a pair of brown Camper Tods on his feet. This is MackaBEE. The half-Cuban tosses his keys to the approaching valet, and begins walking towards the front of the line. All the men are jealous of him, and all the women are all asking, "Who is that?" The bouncer removes the red rope barrier as he and MackaBEE smile. Just before MackaBEE reaches the ropes, he is stopped by Jenny Jersey and a camera crew.
"MackaBEE! MackaBEE wait for me!" The call from Jenny stops him dead in his tracks. She's an attractive girl, but in jeans and a tank top, obviously has no sense of the night life. "Sorry MackaBEE, we've been trying to find you all day. We want to get your thoughts on your Rebel Heavyweight Championship title shot."
MackaBEE smirk and cocks his head, slightly annoyed. "You want MackaBEE's thoughts? MackaBEE's going to win, that's his thoughts."
The Miami Muffdiver turns to enter the club, "but what about what Rex Caliber had to say about you?" That question made MackaBEE do an instant about face.
"Rex Caliber was flapping his gums? Well tell MackaBEE what you heard." Jenny's face blushes slightly. "Now now Jenny, go on, what did Rex Caliber have to say, because MackaBEE aint heard shit."
"Well, Rex had quite a bit to say about you, where should I start?"
Mackabee sighs, "Jenny, start at the beginning. Hell start at the middle or the end, skip chapters, MackaBEE doesn't give a damn, just tell him what you heard."
"To start, he said that if Billy would have showed up for the match, then it would be him advancing, not you."
"Wo, wo, wo!" MackaBEE looks back and gives a nod to the bouncer, signaling he's going to need a minute. "Go on sweetheart, tell MackaBEE what else was said."
"He said you have too much ego, and you haven't proved "S" to him--"
"You mean shit?"
Jenny smiles innocently, "Y-yes."
"Well go on, say shit girl, we're both adults. MackaBEE doesn't want you going on censoring what Rex Caliber has to say, so go on, inform MackaBEE of exactly what Rex has to say."
"H-he says you haven't proven... shit to him, and that he doesn't know why you were even hired. Rex said that if you ever applied for NAPW, he'd turn you down, and that you're going to pay for what you said about NAPW being "p" words."
"Damnit Jersey, you're killing MackaBEE over here. MackaBEE doesn't have time to try and decipher code words for what really was said. What did Rex say? That MackaBEE is going to eat his words for calling NAPW a bunch of penises?"
"N..no."
"Pumpernickels?"
"No, he said, he said the "P" word," Jenny says pointing down to her crotch. These southern girls sure are something else.
"Ahh, MackaBEE knows what you're saying now." MackaBEE shoots her a smile, looking her up and down. "MackaBEE loves the "p" word Jenny, would you like MackaBEE to show you how much he loves the "p" word?"
Jenny's entire face turns red, but she can't help but to smile, "MackaBEE! We... look, Rex called you a pussy. What do you have to say about that?"
"Look Jenny, Rex can yap his mouth all day and all night about how MackaBEE doesn't deserve to be where he is, MackaBEE doesn't care if Rex wouldn't accept a Kinkos'ed resume from Mack, and MackaBEE sure as hell doesn't give a goat about what Rex says he's going to do to MackaBEE. For one, Rex has no clue about MackaBEE. Truth of the matter, MackaBEE has chewed up and spit out all the competition on the east coast and mid west of the indy scene. So what if Rex doesn't know a thing about it, because MackaBEE isn't here to prove shit to Rex, MackaBEE's here to prove he's the best to EVERYONE. Secondly, MackaBEE would never apply to NAPW. It's too damn cold in Canukia, and the competition just isn't thick enough for MackaBEE. Now MackaBEE called everyone in NAPW a bunch of pussies, and it damn sure doesn't help their case that one of their toughest no-showed against MackaBEE. Billy Kryenik knows what was on the line, and obviously has his priorities in a much different order than MackaBEE. Now maybe MackaBEE was out of line for calling NAPW a bunch of razor bumped juicy pussies, but the fact of this matter is, nobody in that federation comes close to stacking up against MackaBEE."
"So is that the closest thing to an apology we're going to hear from you?"
"No, MackaBEE wants to go on record right to give the biggest apology you will ever hear from the Miami Muff Diver's lips. Are you ready for this Jenny?" Jenny shakes her head, leaning in closer to hear a possible sense of compassion from the Mack. "MackaBEE is sorry. MackaBEE is real sorry. MackaBEE's unbelievably sorry! Do you know what for Jenny?"
"No, what are you sorry for?"
"MackaBEE is sorry for what is going to happen to Rex Caliber this Tuesday! MackaBEE is sorry for the utter asswhooping Rex is going to recieve at the hands of MackaBEE! MackaBEE is sorry for all the pain, all the torture and all the blood that is going to spill from your body Rex. But you're in the way. You're in the way of MackaBEE's number one goal. Understand right now, what MackaBEE wants, MackaBEE gets. It doesn't matter if it's you, Brian Bruno, Stylin' Kyle, the fish suckin' Newfoundland LDK, Caliban, Mathew Kurtis, or Ravager himself! MackaBEE can't lie Rex, MackaBEE respects you on a few levels, but you don't stand a chance in hell against the Mack. MackaBEE's coming at you with blazing fury, and MackaBEE is going to walk out with Rebel gold around his waist. That, God as MackaBEE's witness, is a guarantee!”
By the time MackaBEE finishes talking, he notices those in the line for Carmen’s Nightclub are now inching closer to him and Jenny Jersey. “Wow. Now that’s a lot to say about Rex Caliber, but Brian Bruno is also in this match, and well, you’ve already had quite a bit to say about him.”
“Brian Bruno. Hell, at least MackaBEE has an inkling of respect for Rex Caliber, but Brian Bruno, he can’t even tie MackaBEE’s boots! “ MackaBEE tears off his sun glasses, looking the camera right in the lens, “MackaBEE’s been marking Brian Bruno since Rebel was announced, and now MackaBEE’s getting the chance to rip Bruno three ways to Southern Texas. With Rex there it changes the dynamic MackaBEE wanted. With Rex there it takes MackaBEE’s focus off of you slightly. You see MackaBEE wanted a match with you one-on-one. MackaBEE wanted to come at you like you were painted red and MackaBEE was a raging bull. Instead, it’s a triple threat match. That’s fine. That’s just fine. Not ideal, but fine. With the title on the line, and you in this match, well that’s two times the intensity. MackaBEE hopes you’re ready Bruno.”
Jenny cocks her head, slightly confused, as now an entire crowd is standing behind MackaBEE listening in, “Exactly, why do you hate Brian Bruno so much? I mean, he’s a mean guy, but what did he do to you?”
“What did he do to MackaBEE? He didn’t do anything. He doesn’t have to do anything to MackaBEE to make MackaBEE hate him. No, no. You see, Brian Bruno represents everything wrong with wrestling and the world in general. Brian Bruno takes his anger out on people because of his lack of manhood. He’s been known to allegedly do bad things to good people, betray his best friend, and spread the crabs he has in his eyebrows. All the things you shouldn’t do, Brian Bruno does. All of those things makes MackaBEE sick, right here in his stomach,” he says tapping his six pack through the cloth material, “and MackaBEE does not want to be associated with a man that makes MackaBEE want to chug a forty of Pepto Bismal! In fact, Brian Bruno is just like a stomach bug. The way you cure a stomach bug is with a little Pepto, and the way you cure Brian Bruno is by whooping his ass and sending him back to NAPW with his tail between his legs. That is exactly what MackaBEE intends to do to that pug faced bitch, and if MackaBEE gets the chance on Tuesday, then MackaBEE is gonna’ take it!”
Several onlookers who weren’t even in line for the club now surround the Miami Muffdiver, all connected to each word MackaBEE has to say. “One thing is for sure, this week’s Rebel Heavyweight Championship match is one you’re not going to want to miss. Now MackaBEE, after calling everyone in NAPW a bunch of…” Jenny winks at MackaBEE, “ P-words, NAPW Champion, Rex Caliber came out, as well as Deathrow… for whatever reason, attacked, and then LDK came from the back and attacked you. It was a huge brawl, and it seems if anything you really offended the NAPW part of the locker room.”
“Sweetheart, why bring up bad memories? There is one reason, and one reason only that those three came out the same time MackaBEE was out, and it wasn’t because of MackaBEE’s reference to NAPW being a bunch of pussies-nah nah. It was because they each understand just who is going to be the first Rebel Champion, and they’re looking to get first dibs. It just so happens all three of those NAPW elitists, and MackaBEE uses that term in the loosest sense, will be competing in a four-way match, along with teen-wolf in his thirties, Stylin’ Kyle, to get a shot at the first Rebel Champion. They know MackaBEE’s the front runner to take home the gold, so why not take a shot at the Mack? Rex has got balls, MackaBEE will give him that. Going out there to look MackaBEE in the face aint no easy feat, but as an exclusive Rebel wrestler, MackaBEE’s gonna show Rex sometime down the line, that NAPW doesn’t have shit on Rebel. As far as Deathrow goes, MackaBEE thinks his original intent was to attack MackaBEE, but alcohol does some crazy things to crazy people. As for that fish kisser, well he can go sit on the pointy side of a fishing pole for all MackaBEE cares. That stupid piece of unrecyclable trash wants to attack MackaBEE from behind? Well bring when MackaBEE is looking next time, you’ll see just how bad of a beating that Rebel’s finest can deliver.” MackaBEE comes suddenly aware of the horde of people he has attracted and steps back, slightly shocked. “Well hot damn. Look at all these fellas and fine ladies!”
The men yell out deep “YEAH’s!” and the women, “WOO!”
“Who here has heard of Rebel Pro Wrestling before tonight?” A few people shout out, not too many, “well how many of you want to see MackaBEE in action this Tuesday, and try to make fans out of all of you?” Everyone shouts wanting to see this articulate marvel wrestle. “MackaBEE can get the whole bunch of you cheap front row tickets for the craziest, bloodiest, hottest wrestling in all of North Carolina for this Tuesday, right here in Raleigh!” The crowd shouts louder for MackaBEE, especially mentioning the words “cheap, front row, and hottest”.
“Thanks for the interview MackaBEE,” Jenny Jersey says as she begins to walk away, as MackaBEE is obviously caught up in the crowd.
“Wo, wo, wo Jenny!” She turns back to MackaBEE, “do you like to salsa?” Jenny smiles and takes MackaBEE by the arm, “It’s time to dance people, let’s get in that damn club.” MackaBEE in the crowd begin to filter out with the camera still fixed on then, “Oh shit, MackaBEE almost forgot himself again. Everybody hold up. MackaBEE has one favor to ask you before we all go into this fine establishment and dance the night away.” MackaBEE turns his back to the camera, and draws everyone in the crowd in close, whispering something inaudible. He turns back to the camera, puts his Ray Bands back on, “this Tuesday, the Big Bitch Brian Bruno, who MackaBEE might add did not have pubic hair until he was twenty-six, will square off against the man who performs one handed gang bangs on himself, Rex Caliber, who will also meet the man of the hour, the Miami Muff Diver, MACKABEE, in a triple threat match to determine the first EVER Rebel Heavyweight Champion. Join the Rebel Revolution, and the MackaBEE Nation this Tuesday, right here in Raleigh! With that said…” MackaBEE looks around at the crowd,” mmmMMMMMMAAAAAACKKKKAAABBBEEEEE…”
The crowd finishes for him, “OUT!”
Raise the top, fade out.