Chapter Three

[Modo WHOA! [REBEL]]

Believe me, I know what you're thinking. "Where was Modo WHOA! last week?" That's the question that should be running through your minds right now. The debut show of REBEL Pro Wrestling and their star attraction, 'The WHOA! Man' was nowhere to be seen! In fact, he was a couple of states away in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania wrestling for another promotion - because REBEL didn't want him that week ... Not that he's bitter. Far from it. He relaxed on the bus down to North Carolina, read 'American Scream: The Bill Hicks Story' and listened to his iPod while people stared at the masked 'freak' amongst them. And now he's in Raleigh and about to arrive at his rented accommodation.

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[So the scene opens here, in front of the rented one bedroom flat that Modo shares with his bleached blonde roommate, Kelly. It's been a little over a week since he was last here, but he needs to work some time. Dressed in some well polished combat boots, black denim jeans, a 'Sugarcult' band tee and of course, his mask and elbow-length gloves and carrying a single duffel bag over his right shoulder, Modo walks down the dirt track, which constitutes a path around here]

Modo WHOA!:
Ooh, new flowers.

[And indeed there are. Yellow ones of some description, I'm no horticulturist. But they're in bloom, already. Oh well. Modo continues walking up the path as he can hear the soft, melodious voice that can only be Sheryl Crow butchering 'Sweet Child O' Mine' ... Keep walking, WHOA! Man]

Modo WHOA!:
Where as a child I'd hide...

[Modo opens the door to find his roommate Kelly stretched out on a tattered, second-hand, reject couch whose sole purpose on this Earth is to cause discomfort to those who sit on it ... But at least it's red. With a pink throw and some flower-shaped cushions. And those white walls, they're covered with paintings of babies and flowers. The bay window now has blinds and the kitchen is full of modern utensils and food. And there's Kelly, in some sweat pants and a plain white tee]

Kelly:
Hey, Roomie...

Modo WHOA!:
Morning, Kelly ... You know, for an unemployed person you look to have bought a lot of stuff.

Kelly:
Don't be silly, this is all from my old place. Michelle decided she's too good for these things.

[Pause]

Modo WHOA!:
Is that a coffee maker?

Kelly:
Yeah, you want a cup?

Modo WHOA!:
No, I don't drink coffee.

[Modo puts his bag down next to the sofa before slumping down. Actually, Kelly lifted her legs up first, then Modo sat then. Then Kelly put her legs back down on his lap]

Kelly:
You look tired...

[Modo peers out through the eye sockets of his mask. There aren't any other holes in there, so how exactly does he look tired?]

Kelly:
Well, you know what I mean. I can see it in your eyes.

Modo WHOA!:
It was a long bus ride. People are so rude. I just wanted to read my book and listen to my music - but two kids wanted pictures taken with me. I assume they're fans ... But they could've just wanted a novelty photo.

Kelly:
I know the feeling.

Modo WHOA!:
Then I finished the book and the battery in my iPod died ... Makes me wish I had a laptop. I could have done some reading up on my opponents, or whatever.

Kelly:
You should totally talk to my friend, JC, he's into wrestling too...

[For a moment, Modo glares at his friend. "into wrestling too" is that what she said? That's how she sums up her roommate and his chosen profession. Meh, she's hot - but Modo has a girlfriend in Boston and he must remain loyal]

Modo WHOA!:
I'll do that some time.

Kelly:
Cool, hey listen, I've got to go and meet some friends. Could you loan me like, ten bucks or something?

Modo WHOA!:
What's the magic word?

Kelly:
Please?

Modo WHOA!:
Sure...

[He reaches into his left pocket and pulls out a twenty dollar note. So he hands that to her]

Kelly:
Oh, thanks. See ya later!

[She says before standing up. She reaches down and hugs Modo for a second or so - and she's feels so soft. And she smells so sweet ... But she's gone out of the front door, leaving Modo WHOA! alone in the lounge with just his trusty Dictaphone for company. A Dictaphone he has pulled from his front right pocket and pressed record on]

Modo WHOA!:
So it is written and so it shall be, for it is time Modo WHOA!'s debut in REBEL Pro Wrestling. Having been left off the show last week, I have to say, I was a little disappointed. But, in hindsight, it allowed me to view my competition ... Whether they were getting abandoned by their partner. Losing matches or just not there ... I saw it all. Thank the Lord for video piracy...

Modo WHOA!:
Then there's the side of me that's a little bitter. I had a chance to be a part of history and I missed that. Now I have to make my debut in a match, which to a casual observer is full of NAPW rejects! Oh yes, I know about NAPW. And I have to say, guys, I'm a little disappointed. Saddened by the fact that my opponents know each other so well. Disheartened by my inability to be bothered by any one of you ... Except you, 'Assman'. You and me, we're REBEL to the bone. We're here because the honchos went out of their way to hunt us down. Not because we couldn't make it big and stay there in another territory ... Does that sound harsh?

[Pause]

Modo WHOA!:
I don't mean to harsh, guys. It's tough, I know it. My fear of flying causes me to take nine or ten hour bus journeys twice a week. I've got a girlfriend in Massachusetts, a shack here in North Carolina and temporary accommodation waiting for me in Pennsylvania ... I don't know why I'm telling you this, quite frankly it is of little concern to any of you.

Modo WHOA!:
Heck, we're six men competing in an over the top battle royale. A Mexican midget, which I'm sure is an insult you've heard before but I'm tired damn it ... His multi-lingual buddy, which is hardly an insult at all - but that isn't my bag, baby. I'm not here to put you down, guys. Not outside of the ring, anyway. I could sit here and record myself ripping you guys new ones, but what it accomplish? Next to nothing. You wouldn't fear me anymore. You wouldn't want to avoid me. Words mean nothing! I will put you guys down in the ring - more precisely, I'll throw you over the top rope and down to the mats outside. I'll hulk up and toss Clint Zellor clean into the second row. And that Alison Krauss loving, fraternal issue having, hillbilly Chad Kurtis ... Hell, I'll be too busy eliminating the others. And finally, Mike Trey. 'Assman' ... REBEL to the bone ... You will not stand in my way. For I am 'The WHOA! Man' and to paraphrase the great, Leonard Cohen, I am one hundred floors above you in this tower of wrestling!

[And with that, Modo presses stop on his voice recording device before removing the tape]

Modo WHOA!:
How am I supposed to make copies?

[So the scene comes to an end with a fade to black]