Post by warren on Apr 1, 2007 21:06:25 GMT -5
"A death wish? Man somebody like, totally thinks they're like, David Lee Roth when they're at BEST Sammy Hagar and I mean like, totally more like Gary Cherona. Cha!"
[Warren is walking down the sidewalks of downtown Raleigh, NC. He's wearing his usual outfit of baggy shorts, sweatshirt tied around his waist, t-shirt and bandana, like the sick lovechild of Keanu Reeves and Axl Rose. The camera is in front of him as he walks. We hear a passer-by look at Warren and say:]
"Good luck, Warren!"
"Hey man, thanks. The people here in Carolina are pretty rad, you know? I don't know why so many people think that like I'm in over my head or somethin' going up against Caliban. I mean, he's just some dude in a Hallowe'en mask, and it's not even a really cool one! I mean nowhere near as cool as my Eddie Van Halen costume last year. That was totally awesome. Too bad Eddie's in rehab again, he's the greatest guitar play possibly of all time dude."
"Hey, it's that Warren kid who's gonna get killed by Caliban on Tuesday!"
"Hey man, nobody's going to get killed! [looks back at camera.] That's what I'm saying right there, and there's Mr. Iago himself saying that this ain't gonna have a storybook ending, well no kidding man! This isn't like The Friendly Giant, this is REBEL Pro Wrestling and --- "
[Another passerby shouts at Warren.]
"KID, YOU FREAKING CRAZY? CALIBAN'S A MONSTER!"
"OH YEAH? I'M A MONSTER ON THE GNARLIEST OF WAVES, MAN! I just as much of amonster as you are, Caliban! It ain't the size of the dog in the fight, it's how you get up! It ain't how you get knocked down, it's the size of the fight in the dog! You know! I mean! Yeah! All I want to do is come in and give a totally rad match and show what I can do, and people are saying it's going to be a slaughterhouse. Well if it's a slaughterhouse for anybody, then it's a slaughterhouse for Caliban, cos I'd never work at a slaughterhouse! Yeah! And another thing! Why can't I get no tang round here?"
"Hey Warren don't get killed man!"
"I AIN'T GETTING KILLED! WHy does everybody keep SAYING THAT? Man... this is most untriumphant. But I'll show all of these dudes, that a totally bogus dude like Caliban can't win over a most excellent professional wrestler like myself. But man, all this walking has made me thirsty, I think it's time for a..."
[Warren suddenly stops, looking up at the sign. Red, green and white. 7-11. He gives a big thumbs up to the camera. One star wipe later, and Warren is exiting the very store with a giant cup in his hand...]
"It's time for a Super Big-Gulp! Excellent!"
[Click!]
[Warren is walking down the sidewalks of downtown Raleigh, NC. He's wearing his usual outfit of baggy shorts, sweatshirt tied around his waist, t-shirt and bandana, like the sick lovechild of Keanu Reeves and Axl Rose. The camera is in front of him as he walks. We hear a passer-by look at Warren and say:]
"Good luck, Warren!"
"Hey man, thanks. The people here in Carolina are pretty rad, you know? I don't know why so many people think that like I'm in over my head or somethin' going up against Caliban. I mean, he's just some dude in a Hallowe'en mask, and it's not even a really cool one! I mean nowhere near as cool as my Eddie Van Halen costume last year. That was totally awesome. Too bad Eddie's in rehab again, he's the greatest guitar play possibly of all time dude."
"Hey, it's that Warren kid who's gonna get killed by Caliban on Tuesday!"
"Hey man, nobody's going to get killed! [looks back at camera.] That's what I'm saying right there, and there's Mr. Iago himself saying that this ain't gonna have a storybook ending, well no kidding man! This isn't like The Friendly Giant, this is REBEL Pro Wrestling and --- "
[Another passerby shouts at Warren.]
"KID, YOU FREAKING CRAZY? CALIBAN'S A MONSTER!"
"OH YEAH? I'M A MONSTER ON THE GNARLIEST OF WAVES, MAN! I just as much of amonster as you are, Caliban! It ain't the size of the dog in the fight, it's how you get up! It ain't how you get knocked down, it's the size of the fight in the dog! You know! I mean! Yeah! All I want to do is come in and give a totally rad match and show what I can do, and people are saying it's going to be a slaughterhouse. Well if it's a slaughterhouse for anybody, then it's a slaughterhouse for Caliban, cos I'd never work at a slaughterhouse! Yeah! And another thing! Why can't I get no tang round here?"
"Hey Warren don't get killed man!"
"I AIN'T GETTING KILLED! WHy does everybody keep SAYING THAT? Man... this is most untriumphant. But I'll show all of these dudes, that a totally bogus dude like Caliban can't win over a most excellent professional wrestler like myself. But man, all this walking has made me thirsty, I think it's time for a..."
[Warren suddenly stops, looking up at the sign. Red, green and white. 7-11. He gives a big thumbs up to the camera. One star wipe later, and Warren is exiting the very store with a giant cup in his hand...]
"It's time for a Super Big-Gulp! Excellent!"
[Click!]