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Post by Sexy Rexy [REBEL] on Mar 30, 2007 1:15:42 GMT -5
(We see photographers snapping picture after picture. We hear questions from reporter after reporter. No answers are being given. The man surrounded by all this attention is Rex Caliber. He has just stepped off the plane at Charlotte Douglas International Airport. He is back in North Carolina for the next two weeks. Rex is accompanied by a rather unattractive woman, in a business suit. Her name is Angela and she is Rex’s assistant. Rex is adequately dressed for the occasion, wearing Docker pants, a wife beater tank top, and a hat that pimps would wear to show everyone they’re pimps.)
REX: So much attention for the Colossal Superstar of Wrestling... Rex... Caliber. All these questions from you reporters, and the answers are so complicated.
(Angela is taking notes but it’s not evident why.)
REX: Everyone just needs to know three things.
1. Rex Caliber is in REBEL mode. I have people taking care of NAPW issues, and I get called only in the event of something really important.
2. Rex Caliber doesn’t care who he faces, no matter if they’re currently in NAPW, have recently left NAPW, or never heard of NAPW... they are all getting an ass kicking of a thousand life times, if they get in the ring with the Rexcellence of Rexecution. WHOO!
3. Rex Caliber isn’t here to make REBEL the best federation in the world. He’s not here to make people happy. You people called for Rex Caliber to unretire and kick ass. Well, Ladies and Gents, that’s damn sure going to be happenin’. If you dig what I do, good for you... cheer me on and be a loyal Freak of Nature. If you don’t like how I roll, then don’t forget to kiss my ass on the way out.
REX: This federation is competition based and violence fueled. I’m a man who wants to get back to the Gold Winning, Total Annihilating, Planetary Colliding, Death Defying, Bitch Slapping, Ass Grabbing, Bone Breaking, Ring Shaking, Earth Shattering, Super Flattering, Black Bearded, Big Pimpin’, Often Feared, Never Skeered, Lord of the Ring that everyone remembers.
(Rex finally reaches the limo taking, him and his assistant, to his Charlotte based office.)
ANGELA: That was amazing... I’ve never been around someone who oozed charisma like that.
REX: Don’t get your panties wet toots... Rex has a date tonight.
ANGELA: I wasn’t...
(Rex looks at her, like a parent looks at a guilty child.)
ANGELA: So why exactly am I taking notes of the various media outlets who was trying to get a word with you?
REX: Rex Caliber likes to read about his favorite person: Rex Caliber. Now there is ton of coverage of me down here, as I’m like a legend... not wait... I’m like an immortalized persona almost as large as the big guy himself.
ANGELA: God?
REX: No.. I’m not that big. I meant Michael Jordan. He is like the most famous man to ever set foot in this state...and I’m a smidgen behind him.
ANGELA: A smidgen?
(Rex holds out his index finger and his thumb. A centimeter separates them.)
REX: That much. This is a busy week. I need to workout...
ANGELA: Study film... get ready for Mr. Roberts?
REX: Don’t finish my sentences. Also by the looks of it, you don’t know me very well. Me and Roberts... we go back. Over a year of history. Let me run it down for you. I took his tag title with very little help from my then partner Static. I forget who pinned who, but him and the super awesome Beast took those belts back in the greatest ladder match ever contested on this (BLEEP)ing planet. Now on the side, we had teamed up as the Canadian Horsemen, me and Roberts, shocking I know...and well.. the fed sort of had like three shows, but we kicked ASS. Mostly me, but he was there too. Then we talk on the phone like pals until he learns that I slept with his then girlfriend Amy, like five years prior. I was the BEST she ever had... and he didn’t act real upset... but hey. My son came along hated Kyle, loved Bruce and then my assistant started dating Bruce. So, that shows you being with me could land you a beastly man. Any who we teamed up on the Alaska toured, totally killing SAD, Bickle and some other guy in a handicapped match. Then like he totally went through some life altering events that made him act selfish and stupid, walked out on my company for more money, but lo and behold here I am facing his ass in REBEL.
ANGELA: WOW... You didn’t even blink while reciting all that! So you slept with his girlfriend before they hooked up?
REX: Yes... which reminds me that she is single and has been trying to reach me. But I’m thinking, since she has been with Kyle so long, that a man with my size might hurt her, so I haven’t called her back. Although, it might be like (BLEEP)ing a virgin, so...
ANGELA: You are one interesting man.
REX: I have done told you I have a date, and besides I don’t date...
ANGELA: People that work for you?
REX: Sentence finishing again... but..uh.. yeah, people who work for me is definitely off limits.
(Rex rolls his eyes, then attempts to not let on to the sarcasm.)
ANGELA: So what are we going to do at the office? What business do you need me to work on?
REX: Getting me some alcohol... organize my appearances. You need make sure I get the most money for my time, organize it well now. I don’t like doing a inspirational speech at a high school for two hundred clams, and I could be at a kids birthday party for like five hundred.
ANGELA: Totally understood.
REX: I don’t get up until around eleven nowadays and I go for a run then, I come back, shower, eat, then start my appearances. They have to be done in time for happy hour. I then go train after happy hour, then go eat, then go to another bar. I leave around closing, go to a diner, eat, then make it back home to crash and do it again the next day.
ANGELA: Everyday?
REX: No... Sundays I don’t get up till twelve. Match day... I skip training, and part of the bar scene. Usually get there around eleven.
ANGELA: Ok... Your dates take place when?
REX: Happy hour, the meal after training, or at the bar to end the evening.
ANGELA: Why do you stay in a bar that long?
REX: I have owned one for a year... it sort of makes things even, levels out being in a different city, after living in Edmonton for so long. Every time I left Edmonton, I’d do the same routine.
ANGELA: What happens if your date wants to go home early?
REX: You prying for details on Sexy Rexy’s love making skills? I tend to come home with ladies often... I don’t sleep much.
(Rex smiles and gives her a thumbs up. The chit chat until arriving at his office. As he enters the building he is approached by a gorgeous woman, dressed in a business suit, that has been altered to show off certain assets.)
REX: It’s my lovely personal interviewer... Amber. Amber how may I help you?
(Angela looks confused.)
ANGELA: You have your own interviewer? Doesn’t REBEL have those?
REX: Rex likes pretty girls, who ask the right questions!
AMBER: Mr. Sexiest Man ever to grace the great state of North Carolina... How was the flight?
REX: It was Rextacular. You wouldn’t believe the love and support the One Man Crimes Spree is receiving. Everyone wants to be where I go, cause I’m what’s in.
AMBER: You certainly are. You have an easy opponent in your first match. How do you plan to spend the rest of the night after you demolish him the squared circle?
REX: Well, Kyle isn’t easy... his old lady was, but that’s a penthouse letter, for another day. Kyle will be out wrestled, out brawled, out smarted... yes, out smarted and out muscled. He is competition, but not big competition. I will whoop ass, gather some luscious ladies, and party my firm ass off the rest of the night.
AMBER: How do you think the lack of disqualifications and countouts will effect your ever abundant ring skill?
REX: It makes everything just a little more painful. Things for my opponents that is. They get the impact of my moves on the floor, or anywhere I choose. I’m not going to blatantly use weapons, but if they get brought in... they will get used in a manner that only the Two hundred forty five pound Shithammer of Destruction can do.
AMBER: How did you become so sexy?
(Angela looks almost disgusted in the obvious set up interview being conducted.)
REX: I have to thank my parents, and God. Without them it wouldn’t be possible. Any further questions?
(Amber whispers in his ear. Rex smiles.)
REX: Why yes I do believe my stamina is up for that challenge. I’ll have to prove it one day.
(Amber blushes as Rex and Angela continue on to his office.)
AMBER: That was the future REBEL Heavyweight champion... REX CALIBER!
(Rex and Angela enter the elevator.)
REX: (wiping his brow) Whoa... she was a shark. I haven’t had to do interviews like that in a long time. I’m going to need some tequila before we do any more work.
(Angela just stares in amazement at the spectacle that is Rex Caliber. Fade to black.)
REX: So much attention for the Colossal Superstar of Wrestling... Rex... Caliber. All these questions from you reporters, and the answers are so complicated.
(Angela is taking notes but it’s not evident why.)
REX: Everyone just needs to know three things.
1. Rex Caliber is in REBEL mode. I have people taking care of NAPW issues, and I get called only in the event of something really important.
2. Rex Caliber doesn’t care who he faces, no matter if they’re currently in NAPW, have recently left NAPW, or never heard of NAPW... they are all getting an ass kicking of a thousand life times, if they get in the ring with the Rexcellence of Rexecution. WHOO!
3. Rex Caliber isn’t here to make REBEL the best federation in the world. He’s not here to make people happy. You people called for Rex Caliber to unretire and kick ass. Well, Ladies and Gents, that’s damn sure going to be happenin’. If you dig what I do, good for you... cheer me on and be a loyal Freak of Nature. If you don’t like how I roll, then don’t forget to kiss my ass on the way out.
REX: This federation is competition based and violence fueled. I’m a man who wants to get back to the Gold Winning, Total Annihilating, Planetary Colliding, Death Defying, Bitch Slapping, Ass Grabbing, Bone Breaking, Ring Shaking, Earth Shattering, Super Flattering, Black Bearded, Big Pimpin’, Often Feared, Never Skeered, Lord of the Ring that everyone remembers.
(Rex finally reaches the limo taking, him and his assistant, to his Charlotte based office.)
ANGELA: That was amazing... I’ve never been around someone who oozed charisma like that.
REX: Don’t get your panties wet toots... Rex has a date tonight.
ANGELA: I wasn’t...
(Rex looks at her, like a parent looks at a guilty child.)
ANGELA: So why exactly am I taking notes of the various media outlets who was trying to get a word with you?
REX: Rex Caliber likes to read about his favorite person: Rex Caliber. Now there is ton of coverage of me down here, as I’m like a legend... not wait... I’m like an immortalized persona almost as large as the big guy himself.
ANGELA: God?
REX: No.. I’m not that big. I meant Michael Jordan. He is like the most famous man to ever set foot in this state...and I’m a smidgen behind him.
ANGELA: A smidgen?
(Rex holds out his index finger and his thumb. A centimeter separates them.)
REX: That much. This is a busy week. I need to workout...
ANGELA: Study film... get ready for Mr. Roberts?
REX: Don’t finish my sentences. Also by the looks of it, you don’t know me very well. Me and Roberts... we go back. Over a year of history. Let me run it down for you. I took his tag title with very little help from my then partner Static. I forget who pinned who, but him and the super awesome Beast took those belts back in the greatest ladder match ever contested on this (BLEEP)ing planet. Now on the side, we had teamed up as the Canadian Horsemen, me and Roberts, shocking I know...and well.. the fed sort of had like three shows, but we kicked ASS. Mostly me, but he was there too. Then we talk on the phone like pals until he learns that I slept with his then girlfriend Amy, like five years prior. I was the BEST she ever had... and he didn’t act real upset... but hey. My son came along hated Kyle, loved Bruce and then my assistant started dating Bruce. So, that shows you being with me could land you a beastly man. Any who we teamed up on the Alaska toured, totally killing SAD, Bickle and some other guy in a handicapped match. Then like he totally went through some life altering events that made him act selfish and stupid, walked out on my company for more money, but lo and behold here I am facing his ass in REBEL.
ANGELA: WOW... You didn’t even blink while reciting all that! So you slept with his girlfriend before they hooked up?
REX: Yes... which reminds me that she is single and has been trying to reach me. But I’m thinking, since she has been with Kyle so long, that a man with my size might hurt her, so I haven’t called her back. Although, it might be like (BLEEP)ing a virgin, so...
ANGELA: You are one interesting man.
REX: I have done told you I have a date, and besides I don’t date...
ANGELA: People that work for you?
REX: Sentence finishing again... but..uh.. yeah, people who work for me is definitely off limits.
(Rex rolls his eyes, then attempts to not let on to the sarcasm.)
ANGELA: So what are we going to do at the office? What business do you need me to work on?
REX: Getting me some alcohol... organize my appearances. You need make sure I get the most money for my time, organize it well now. I don’t like doing a inspirational speech at a high school for two hundred clams, and I could be at a kids birthday party for like five hundred.
ANGELA: Totally understood.
REX: I don’t get up until around eleven nowadays and I go for a run then, I come back, shower, eat, then start my appearances. They have to be done in time for happy hour. I then go train after happy hour, then go eat, then go to another bar. I leave around closing, go to a diner, eat, then make it back home to crash and do it again the next day.
ANGELA: Everyday?
REX: No... Sundays I don’t get up till twelve. Match day... I skip training, and part of the bar scene. Usually get there around eleven.
ANGELA: Ok... Your dates take place when?
REX: Happy hour, the meal after training, or at the bar to end the evening.
ANGELA: Why do you stay in a bar that long?
REX: I have owned one for a year... it sort of makes things even, levels out being in a different city, after living in Edmonton for so long. Every time I left Edmonton, I’d do the same routine.
ANGELA: What happens if your date wants to go home early?
REX: You prying for details on Sexy Rexy’s love making skills? I tend to come home with ladies often... I don’t sleep much.
(Rex smiles and gives her a thumbs up. The chit chat until arriving at his office. As he enters the building he is approached by a gorgeous woman, dressed in a business suit, that has been altered to show off certain assets.)
REX: It’s my lovely personal interviewer... Amber. Amber how may I help you?
(Angela looks confused.)
ANGELA: You have your own interviewer? Doesn’t REBEL have those?
REX: Rex likes pretty girls, who ask the right questions!
AMBER: Mr. Sexiest Man ever to grace the great state of North Carolina... How was the flight?
REX: It was Rextacular. You wouldn’t believe the love and support the One Man Crimes Spree is receiving. Everyone wants to be where I go, cause I’m what’s in.
AMBER: You certainly are. You have an easy opponent in your first match. How do you plan to spend the rest of the night after you demolish him the squared circle?
REX: Well, Kyle isn’t easy... his old lady was, but that’s a penthouse letter, for another day. Kyle will be out wrestled, out brawled, out smarted... yes, out smarted and out muscled. He is competition, but not big competition. I will whoop ass, gather some luscious ladies, and party my firm ass off the rest of the night.
AMBER: How do you think the lack of disqualifications and countouts will effect your ever abundant ring skill?
REX: It makes everything just a little more painful. Things for my opponents that is. They get the impact of my moves on the floor, or anywhere I choose. I’m not going to blatantly use weapons, but if they get brought in... they will get used in a manner that only the Two hundred forty five pound Shithammer of Destruction can do.
AMBER: How did you become so sexy?
(Angela looks almost disgusted in the obvious set up interview being conducted.)
REX: I have to thank my parents, and God. Without them it wouldn’t be possible. Any further questions?
(Amber whispers in his ear. Rex smiles.)
REX: Why yes I do believe my stamina is up for that challenge. I’ll have to prove it one day.
(Amber blushes as Rex and Angela continue on to his office.)
AMBER: That was the future REBEL Heavyweight champion... REX CALIBER!
(Rex and Angela enter the elevator.)
REX: (wiping his brow) Whoa... she was a shark. I haven’t had to do interviews like that in a long time. I’m going to need some tequila before we do any more work.
(Angela just stares in amazement at the spectacle that is Rex Caliber. Fade to black.)