Story Time

[Iago [REBEL]]

(Darkness. Child-like music, played on the piano.)

BRITISH VOICE: Are you ready for a story?

(Spotlight. Ringmaster Iago sits in a purple easy chair, a musty, ancient looking tome in haand. He smiles broadly, tips his hat.)

IAGO: Welcome children, to Uncle Iago's Fairy Tale Corner.

(Iago blows a great cloud of dust of the jacket of the book, then opens it up. The child-like music continues.)

IAGO: Once upon a time, there was a young squire named Warren. Warren wanted dearly to be a real knight, so one day he decided the best way to prove himself would be to go out and slay the fabled behemoth. Warren had heard tales of the behemoth, and how it was big and strong and deadly. But Warren was confident. He was fast! Quick of wit! He had a minstrel friend who played the finest music in the land! Surely the behemoth wasn't nearly as bad as everyone claimed. So, taking up a magical weapon, and backed up by his minstrel friend, Warren set out on a journey to find the behemoth's cave.

(Iago turns the page.)

IAGO: After many days of travel, Warren arrived at the mouth of the behemoth's cave. Stepping into the darkness, he and his minstrel friend made their way deep into the depths, and finally arrived in the very lair of the monster. The behemoth was truly a fearsome looking monster, and turned to face the young squire the moment he came into view. Warren swallowed his fear, and stepped up to face the creature.

(Iago turns the next page.)

IAGO: Warren had a plan, you see. His minstrel friend began playing the most amazing music he could. The music distracted the behemoth, who became confused and covered it's ears in pain. Then, Warren used his fleetness of foot to dance around the thrashing beast, and with a great leaping strike, drove his magical weapon through the behemoth's hide! The beast was slain!

(Iago turns to the next page.)

IAGO: Warren returned to the kingdom to a hero's welcome. His praises were sung, for he had done what no one ever had... he had killed the fabled behemoth. Warren was knighted that very evening by the king and queen, and they all lived happily, ever, after.

(BANG. Simultaneously, the book closes - releasing a cloud of dust - and the lights snap on. The easy chair is in the middle of a wrestling ring. The child-like music, however, continues.)

IAGO: Too bad that's all a fairy tale.

(Iago rises and the camera closes in on him. He taps his cane on the canvas, tucking the tome neatly under his arm.)

IAGO: In real life, there are no happy endings. Not for naive creatures like Warren. There are no magical weapons that slay the villains, there are no secret weaknesses, and even the most "wicked" musical theme won't help the hero. Real life is, sadly, rather harsh on the foolish.

(The camera closes just a little further.)

IAGO: Clearly, you were too busy cowering in the corner at Sole Survivor, Warren. Otherwise you'd have witnessed Caliban pick a three hundred pound, six-foot-eleven man, up over his head, and drop him on his face. You'd have seen the so-called "Colossus" of the NAPW, knocked down like a two-by-four in a typhoon. You'd have watched as one of the fastest wrestlers in the promotion was snatched out of the air like a mosquito, and swatted with the ropes. You'd have witnessed the rampage of a wild animal.

(The camera pulls in just a little bit more.)

IAGO: You said that you believed that we felt you were out of your league. Far from it, my dear young man. We don't think you're way out of your league.

(The music abruptly becomes a single harsh note repeating over, and over, and over.)

IAGO: We think you have a death wish.

(The camera swings around. We see Caliban for only a split second. Then there's only darkness.)