Post by MackaBEE on Mar 19, 2007 23:24:43 GMT -5
Drop the top, fade in. One of the newest additions to the REBEL! roster, the one they call MackaBEE, is sitting in a high-rise fold up cloth chair. He’s a handsome thing, brilliant tan skin, short dark hair, and a thick build. His Gucci sunglasses conceal his eyes, and his silk tropic button down hugs his body tightly, and a pair of black slacks accentuates his well thought outfit. MackaBEE leans in, drops his sunglasses down slightly, just barely exposing his dark eyes, and smiles.
“Rebel Pro-Wrestling, welcome your Florida-native franchise, MackaBEE. For many of you, this is your first look at MackaBEE, but get used to it, because MackaBEE is about to take the reigns of Rebel and ride it to the top. Now I know there are a lot of you out there thinking, ‘who is this guy MackaBEE, and why is he so sure he’s going to a top player in the Rebel community.’”
MackaBEE pushes his sun glasses up the bridge of his nose and leans back.
“Well let MackaBEE tell give you the rundown--ONE; MackaBEE is the most handsome son-bitch to ever step foot in the ring with these Rebel-Rednecks. TWO; MackaBEE is hands down, the most intense wrestler you will ever see. THREE; MackaBEE has had a look at the Rebel-roster and hot-damn! It’s full of a bunch of nobodies and no-talents! Now you’re asking, ‘MackaBEE, what could you possibly know about the Rebel roster?’ Well let MackaBEE give you yet another rundown.
“MackaBEE is going to start with the no-talents. For one, you have the whole NAPW gang from Canada. MackaBEE has seen these guys in action, and if you think for a second they have a talented bone in your body, well you aint seen nothin’ until you’ve seen MackaBEE. Now you’re asking, ‘MackaBEE, what about Ravager, the NAPW Champion, the Provincial Champion, “Lemon Drop Kid” Lloyd Rees… what about the DOOMriders, the damn tag-team champions of NAPW?’ Well why don’t you let MackaBEE answer one question at a time, but don’t worry, your panties don’t need to get all in a bunch, MackaBEE will address these so-called NAPW elites in a couple moments. First MackaBEE needs to point out some thing called Dio Muerte. What in all of Southern Texas is a Dio Muerte? MackaBEE can’t figure it out, and honestly if MackaBEE doesn’t know, then it obviously doesn’t matter. The Kurtis Boys, Lyndsey Valentine, Sakai, Santiago, Brian Bruno, the whole damn bunch of them! MackaBEE looks at this group of no-talents and thinks, what the hell is the staff of Rebel-Pro thinkin’? MackaBEE knows that Rebel-Pro is up and coming, and will probably weed out all of this trash once it gets going, but these rejects? MackaBEE has to ask, what the hell Rebel? You stack any one of these NAPW nincompoops up against MackaBEE and you’ll have a match that lasts less than Brian Bruno in bed. Hey now, don’t looks at MackaBEE with judgmental eyes, MackaBEE doesn’t know from personal experience how “Big Bad” works in bed. Hell no! Lyndsey Valentine told MackaBEE.
“As for the DOOMriders. Well who the hell cares, these two are going to come in and do what they do best, mess things up. The best part of watching these two in the ring, is the chance they might kill themselves doing the crazy shit they do. Then you have the two spunk-babies Lloyd Rees and Ravager. Honestly MackaBEE doesn’t care what you do up north, this is the south baby! This is the U.S.—of A. MackaBEE is going to look at you just like he looks at everyone else that steps in the ring with MackaBEE, and he’ll take care of you in true MackaBEE fashion. It’s no lie, you two Maple Leaf butt-bandits will be pushed to the top for promoting purpose, but one time in the ring with MackaBEE and MackaBEE will send you right back across the border.
“Now you’re asking, ‘hey MackaBEE, what about the aforementioned nobodies?’ Well MackaBEE’s getting to that, calm yourself. When MackaBEE mentioned nobodies, MackaBEE was talking about the rest of the roster? Have you heard of any of these guys? Cataclysm, Sparx, Modo WHOA!, some generic nobody named Warren? Hell no you haven’t, and neither has MackaBEE. Now word around the block, is that some tall goofy mother-(BLEEP)er named Caliban has some sort of reputation. Let him get in the ring with MackaBEE and MackaBEE will make that sorry sucker feel like smaller than Brian Bruno’s manhood. MackaBEE then took a look around the rest of the roster, and what did he see? Dr. Tittylover and Assman? What in all of Southern Texas are these two thinking? Are they trying to be funny? Because MackaBEE doesn’t see the humor. MackaBee sees two sick individuals that may just need the retard slapped out of their stupid asses so they conduct themselves appropriately. These two sorry saps might as well be known as Dr. Molester with his sidekick Homoerotica-man. You two try to get funny with MackaBEE and MackaBEE will send you up to Canada after he woops all the NAPW ass he can, a place where they really appreciate the true fruitcakes of the world.
“With all that said, if you haven’t figured it out, MackaBEE has just put the entire roster on notice. MackaBEE aint here to make friends, hell MackaBEE aint even here to make enemies—MackaBEE is here to woop as much ass, and climb to the top of Rebel any way he can. Now MackaBEE must be going.”
MackaBEE gets up from his seat and exits, leaving the camera focused just on a single chair. The camera fades… then fades back in on MackaBEE’s face.
“Wo-wo-wo. MackaBEE forgot one thing, Lyndsey Valentine, MackaBEE’s calling you out. No-no, not to a match, but maybe you can accompany MackaBEE to the ring, and maybe, just maybe after the match, MackaBEE will let you find out why they call him the “Miami Muffdiver.” MackaBEE out.”
He leaves… for real this time. The camera fades.
“Rebel Pro-Wrestling, welcome your Florida-native franchise, MackaBEE. For many of you, this is your first look at MackaBEE, but get used to it, because MackaBEE is about to take the reigns of Rebel and ride it to the top. Now I know there are a lot of you out there thinking, ‘who is this guy MackaBEE, and why is he so sure he’s going to a top player in the Rebel community.’”
MackaBEE pushes his sun glasses up the bridge of his nose and leans back.
“Well let MackaBEE tell give you the rundown--ONE; MackaBEE is the most handsome son-bitch to ever step foot in the ring with these Rebel-Rednecks. TWO; MackaBEE is hands down, the most intense wrestler you will ever see. THREE; MackaBEE has had a look at the Rebel-roster and hot-damn! It’s full of a bunch of nobodies and no-talents! Now you’re asking, ‘MackaBEE, what could you possibly know about the Rebel roster?’ Well let MackaBEE give you yet another rundown.
“MackaBEE is going to start with the no-talents. For one, you have the whole NAPW gang from Canada. MackaBEE has seen these guys in action, and if you think for a second they have a talented bone in your body, well you aint seen nothin’ until you’ve seen MackaBEE. Now you’re asking, ‘MackaBEE, what about Ravager, the NAPW Champion, the Provincial Champion, “Lemon Drop Kid” Lloyd Rees… what about the DOOMriders, the damn tag-team champions of NAPW?’ Well why don’t you let MackaBEE answer one question at a time, but don’t worry, your panties don’t need to get all in a bunch, MackaBEE will address these so-called NAPW elites in a couple moments. First MackaBEE needs to point out some thing called Dio Muerte. What in all of Southern Texas is a Dio Muerte? MackaBEE can’t figure it out, and honestly if MackaBEE doesn’t know, then it obviously doesn’t matter. The Kurtis Boys, Lyndsey Valentine, Sakai, Santiago, Brian Bruno, the whole damn bunch of them! MackaBEE looks at this group of no-talents and thinks, what the hell is the staff of Rebel-Pro thinkin’? MackaBEE knows that Rebel-Pro is up and coming, and will probably weed out all of this trash once it gets going, but these rejects? MackaBEE has to ask, what the hell Rebel? You stack any one of these NAPW nincompoops up against MackaBEE and you’ll have a match that lasts less than Brian Bruno in bed. Hey now, don’t looks at MackaBEE with judgmental eyes, MackaBEE doesn’t know from personal experience how “Big Bad” works in bed. Hell no! Lyndsey Valentine told MackaBEE.
“As for the DOOMriders. Well who the hell cares, these two are going to come in and do what they do best, mess things up. The best part of watching these two in the ring, is the chance they might kill themselves doing the crazy shit they do. Then you have the two spunk-babies Lloyd Rees and Ravager. Honestly MackaBEE doesn’t care what you do up north, this is the south baby! This is the U.S.—of A. MackaBEE is going to look at you just like he looks at everyone else that steps in the ring with MackaBEE, and he’ll take care of you in true MackaBEE fashion. It’s no lie, you two Maple Leaf butt-bandits will be pushed to the top for promoting purpose, but one time in the ring with MackaBEE and MackaBEE will send you right back across the border.
“Now you’re asking, ‘hey MackaBEE, what about the aforementioned nobodies?’ Well MackaBEE’s getting to that, calm yourself. When MackaBEE mentioned nobodies, MackaBEE was talking about the rest of the roster? Have you heard of any of these guys? Cataclysm, Sparx, Modo WHOA!, some generic nobody named Warren? Hell no you haven’t, and neither has MackaBEE. Now word around the block, is that some tall goofy mother-(BLEEP)er named Caliban has some sort of reputation. Let him get in the ring with MackaBEE and MackaBEE will make that sorry sucker feel like smaller than Brian Bruno’s manhood. MackaBEE then took a look around the rest of the roster, and what did he see? Dr. Tittylover and Assman? What in all of Southern Texas are these two thinking? Are they trying to be funny? Because MackaBEE doesn’t see the humor. MackaBee sees two sick individuals that may just need the retard slapped out of their stupid asses so they conduct themselves appropriately. These two sorry saps might as well be known as Dr. Molester with his sidekick Homoerotica-man. You two try to get funny with MackaBEE and MackaBEE will send you up to Canada after he woops all the NAPW ass he can, a place where they really appreciate the true fruitcakes of the world.
“With all that said, if you haven’t figured it out, MackaBEE has just put the entire roster on notice. MackaBEE aint here to make friends, hell MackaBEE aint even here to make enemies—MackaBEE is here to woop as much ass, and climb to the top of Rebel any way he can. Now MackaBEE must be going.”
MackaBEE gets up from his seat and exits, leaving the camera focused just on a single chair. The camera fades… then fades back in on MackaBEE’s face.
“Wo-wo-wo. MackaBEE forgot one thing, Lyndsey Valentine, MackaBEE’s calling you out. No-no, not to a match, but maybe you can accompany MackaBEE to the ring, and maybe, just maybe after the match, MackaBEE will let you find out why they call him the “Miami Muffdiver.” MackaBEE out.”
He leaves… for real this time. The camera fades.