REBEL: Rex Caliber vs The Sparx

[Ryan Ro [NAPW]]

REBEL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Rex Caliber (c) vs "The Sparx" Chris Corstenoca

"The Sparx" shocked the world, earning a REBEL title shot in his very first REBEL match... but leave it to Rex Caliber to top that. At the last REBEL show, the NAPW owner aligned himself with the hated NAPW tag champions David Banks and Lloyd Rees as well as a returning STATIC, assaulting the NAPW Champion Ravager! What the hell does this mean for the future of NAPW with the owner in business for himself? There are so many questions, will the hometown fans get any answers?

[Sexy Rexy [REBEL]]

(The scene is the REBEL Arena, in locker room of the champion of REBEL, Rex Caliber. This is taped moments after the most horrific scene to take place in REBEL since it’s debut. The “holy shit” moment of the year. We glare at a blood soaked bald man, smiling. We pan over to his casually dressed, masked partner in “crime”, Static. What’s his expression under that mask? More than likely joy over the carnage left in the ring. Rex sits blood dripping from the open wound on his head. It drips down to the belt around his waist.)

STATIC: Why? That question on the lips of every NAPW fan, every REBEL mark, every wrestler on either roster. WHY? For me it’s simple. I admitted to the world before that Static needed someone to be by my side. My Abbot to their Costello. This isn’t true of just me. This is true of the two hundred forty five pound Shit-hammer of Destruction. Back a long time ago, two men got teamed up. Despite the bipolar contrast of the two men’s personalities, those two men changed the NAPW. Now my partner went on to bigger things, and left his partner without a tag partner. So I stabbed him in the eye. Why? The reason is as simple then as it is now... I wanted to be NAPW Champ. I had a killer instinct that my partner didn’t. I won the belt, because my man got weak. I told him that it would hurt him more than it hurt me. But the lesson was learnt. That partner is Rex Caliber. We hooked up again at Cold Snap, and after beating they bajeezus out of one another, we stopped. We saved the NAPW. We hugged and you fans ate it up. Cold Snap post show party at the infamous Nexus Sports Club.. me and Rexy talked. I explained that he lacked that killer instinct that I had, and if he ever wanted it... call me. I’ll lead him to truly be the monster he was born to be. Last week that call came.

(Rex smiles, blood spraying from his mouth as he breathes heavy. He looks dead at the camera.)

REX: How do you like me now? It’s been a long road to this moment. I’ll lead you through the time line. I’ll only do this once, so you stupid fans need to understand that the champ is talking. Cyrus comes into my life the week of my title defense against Static. He exploits my weakness, pins me and I never see a title belt in the NAPW again. I didn’t learn then.

(Rex wipes some blood off his head, with a towel.)

REX: So next comes Ravager. The killer bad ass hell bent on being champ again. He fights me at the Lawn show, and handcuffs me. HE DAMN NEAR KILLS ME IN THE MIDDLE OF EDMONTON! The fans riot, and we’re on CNN. My career spiraled without gold, without direction and with new responsibilities of being a dad. My son deserved a real dad, I thought. So I decide to end my career and take on Lloyd Rees in a submission match... my FINAL match. During that match, I was locked into the most painful submission move ever... THE CONCEPTION BAY CHINLOCK.

(Rex stands up, getting animated with the telling.)

REX: The crowd is cheering for me not to tap. Then out of the corner of my eye.... what did I see? A sign that read...

Cyrus should have been aborted.

CYRUS should have been ABORTED?

CYRUS SHOULD HAVE BEEN (BLEEP)ING ABORTED!!!

I WAS IN THE MOST PAINFUL HOLD EVER AND THAT’S WHAT MY FANS GIVE ME. THEY COULDN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY FAMILY, MY RESPONSIBILITY, OR THE FUTURE OF A FOUR YEAR OLD KID! THOSE SICK SONS OF BITCHES WANTED REX CALIBER TO RISK EVERYTHING EVERY GOD DAMN TUESDAY! NOTHING ELSE WOULD DO!

(Rex takes off his belt and hands it to the calm Static. Rex breathes in.)

REX: That shit festers in my head as I sit on my ass for several months. I get to come back for the induction of myself into the Ring of Prestige, along with Static, and others. I watch the show, then at the end I see D! turn his back on those fans. Serves them right I think, but what they did over the course of the next few months turned my stomach.

They began to cheer the very man who tried to kill me at the Lawn show... THOSE MOTHER (BLEEP)ERS CHEERED RAVAGER!

(Rex begins to give a sick laugh.)

REX: That was the straw that broke this camels back. Everything added up to a bad equation, but perfect opportunity. My kid gets taken away, and I don’t fight it. Why? Because I love him, but nothing LIKE I LOVE WRESTLING! AND... he is better off. So my kids gone, and NAPW needs someone to “save” it. I’ve done it before, and damn it, I did it again. What happened next even surprised me though. Couple months later a man goes on REBEL’s website and posts a video asking for the return of Rex Caliber. This promotion that I made a working deal with, gives me an offer based on that video, and the buzz surrounding it. I check with my people in the NAPW office, find out the REBEL roster and who is present... THAT DICK SUCKING RAVAGER. I then watch the video that caused all this very closely, a dozen times maybe. Something is familiar. Then it hits me... this guy by the name of Tim Smitty... he is the same man holding up the sign about aborting Cyrus. He represents the Rex Caliber fan club, North Carolina chapter. Apparently he was such an great “fan” he made a trip for my last match.

REX: That means that he leads my fans in North Carolina, which means they are as sick as him. The pieces were set. These fans didn’t deserve Rex, but that didn’t matter. I just needed some partners. Lloyd Rees, after the match we had in August.. he told me afterwards how disgusted he was with that sign. Not many people saw it, but we did. We bonded, shook hands and I told Rees that he was the best wrestler I’ve ever faced. So to complete this group we have Static, the most insane guy I ever took on. Banks has the most potential of any wrestler going. John Salty is the best manager to ever hit wrestling. Rees calls me up when I join REBEL and says man... we need to do something. He wasn’t talking about giving those shitty fans the rematch of a lifetime either. We tells me: Together, we can take over the world. He has Banks tagging with him too. How can I tell the best wrestler in the world NO? I’d be out of my (BLEEP)ing mind. So we build it up, and give the fans what they wanted.

REX: They demanded Rex Caliber and GOD DAMNIT THEY GOT ME! But breaking my back, taking those chair shots... it’s not for you. It’s the price I pay for being champ. Each and every fan in that arena out there can kiss my ass. The fans in Edmonton who bow down at the feet of that son of a bitch Bob Ravager... they can suck our VOODOO! The Crimes is not about Rex, not about Rees, not about Banks. It’s about all three of us dominating. If one loses, we all lose. That’s how it is. We aren’t like these other “super groups” with all this red tape. We are for the success of everyone involved with the Crimes.

STATIC: So you see how things work people? The killer instinct is placed into a wrecking machine. This man is batshit crazy, and we are on a mission. OPERATION: (BLEEP) SHIT UP! If you’re not with us, you’re against us... and right now we ain’t recruiting. I can still kick ass, just like I did for years. Ten years of battles... and it’s not in me anymore. But I can help my protégé become the most feared man in the sport. I damn sure can do that. Truth be known, regardless of teaming with Rexy, or trying to maim him... as long as I was with him... I was having fun. Sometimes best friends need to fight to become closer, and THE CRIMES ARE BACK. BIGGER AND BETTER! Rex Caliber has his third straight defense in three damn weeks. He takes on a loser, a nobody, who got lucky in a battle royal. David Banks made an error and got caught. He is a champ though, and will be fine. CHRIS "The Sparx" CORSTENOCA? That your name punk? You can call yourself Tough As Nails Tony Two Tit... but no one gives a shit. You are going to enter “A CRIME SCENE.”

REX: Damn right he is. But before that match, David Banks will earn a shot at any title in REBEL He is going to slap those three pussies around like he is a porn star. Warren? Ha. Kyle Roberts? I beat his ass like he owed me (BLEEP)ing money, and by God so will Banks. Catalytic Converter or whoever the hell you are? You’re a (BLEEP)ing waste of roster space. Banks takes that match easier than me trying to get laid.

REX: My boy Rees has to defend the Unified Provincial title against Stone Zellor! Wooo I think that match my last five seconds.. ONLY if Rees stalls. Rees is the best pure wrestler ever... Stone is a walking tooth pick, about to get snapped... Then it’s me an Sparx.

STATIC: How should you beat’em man? Rings of Rex... Funcrusher?

REX: I don’t do that one man? That’s your move! But hell maybe this once I will!

STATIC: Point being, you aren’t on his level, Sparx! This man has every tool he needs to stay champ forever. You don’t know how unlucky winning that match was for you. It made you the next victim on an ass kicking tour featuring the CRIMES! CRIMES!! CRIMES!!!

REX: I’m going to get stitched up... Fly to that shit hole of a city in Alberta, and get ready to show the world why I am the champ

STATIC: And why they can SUCK MY VOODOO!

(Fade to Black.)

[chriscorstenoca]

Self Perseverance. Self Improvement. Self Destruction.

Self.

The self isn’t the body but arises in social experience.

Self…

The self has a character which differs from that of the physiological organism in proper. Self is something which has a development. The self isn’t initially there, at birth.

Character is what we play.

We all have our character or characters we portray.

WE ALL HAVE A ROLE.

Many people enjoy the role the good Lord blessed them with. And the rest are lost souls, trying to find solace, but cant because they hate their roles. They shift back and forth, trying to attain an identity. An identity that wasn’t there in the first place.

The self has the characteristic that it is an object to itself and that characteristic distinguishes it from other objects and from the body.

What is your role?

Are you even sure you have a role?

There is no reason for paranoia. You will find yourself before its all over.
Yes you will find yourself in the end.

Looking through the violence of the world, becoming a part of that violence, defines who you are and who you will become in the future.

The future.

We are all still questioning that.

We wonder how our choices will effect our future.

Street racing will affect you. Many of today’s youth participate in said event, and they are either killed, kill someone or get a ticket.

Those teenagers are ****ing retarded. They are doing that because they think its fun, but its really not. Sure it’s a release from life, but life isn’t something you should gamble with.

Well, only if its something stupid such as that.

Those teenagers don’t worry until its too late. They want to join the military but having a record could change their plans.

Consequences for our actions. Hardly anyone is man or woman enough to face the consequences. We are always trying to find an excuse.

All I can say is…

**** THE EXCUSES..

Accept your fate.

You made your bed, now lay in it..

The scene opens with Chris Corstenoca being shown sitting on an airplane, eyes closed, either sleeping or deep thought, possibly both. He has just left the arena in Raleigh, for “Culture Clash“, after a grueling Battle Royal Match between him, six other men, and a women.

Chris's Thoughts: Man, It sure was sweet, clothes lining that big man over the ropes for the win. The fans were going nuts, the announcer was going nuts, hell, I was going nuts! But that doesn’t change anything. It will still be Rex Caliber and myself, one on one, at the Supershow. But time has a way of changing things, and with time comes responsibility, and with responsibility comes great sacrifice. Sacrifice, something everyone must do in order to receive what we truly want… or in my case, need.

Chris stretches out in his seat and begins to fall asleep when he is bumped by the man sitting next to him. Chris jolts, rolling his eyes in annoyance. He then looks over at the passenger sitting beside him. He had a weird looking haircut but some nice sideburns. The passenger then looks at Chris, as he glares at him and the passenger smirks.

Passenger: “Is there a problem?”

Chris: “You just bumped me and it woke me up. I am a little bit tired man, that’s all. I just got finished with a match and…”

Passenger: “Yeah I know. You’re Chris Corstenoca. The newcomer, right? I watched your match. Impressive.”

Chris: “Why thank you. And you are?”

Passenger: “I am Jon Heeder. And that’s all you need to know for now.”

Chris: “Oh a man of mystery I see. What are you? A superhero or something?”

Jon: “To an effect.”

Chris: “Why is that?”

Jon: “If I tell you, I would have to kill you. Unless you decided to join me.”

Chris: “Look, I like comic books but I am not a ****ing sidekick.”

Jon: “I am not a superhero. I’m not asking you to be my sidekick. But I will tell you what I am talking about.”

Chris: “Yeah that would help my friend.”

Jon: “Are you always this cocky?”

Chris: “Yeah pretty much, or at least as far back as I can remember.”

Jon: “Did you ever take any political science classes in college?”

Chris: “No I didn’t. But I am a very political…well anti-political person so to speak.”

Jon: “Well what do you think of our system?”

Chris: “That’s a no brainer. Its ****ed.”

Jon: “Agreed.”

Jon Heeder, a broad shouldered man with beautiful sideburns, is involved in the political system and he is against the government policies and political bull**** the country faces. And by happen chance he is a fed head, or a wrestling company owner. For the rest of the plane trip, Jon spoke to Chris about many things he has known, that he has done and what he is planning on doing. Chris becomes intrigued by Jon, wanting to know more.

Jon: “To get into this, there is one thing one must know.”

Chris: “What’s that Yoda?”

Jon: “HAHA very funny. Not. One must know sacrifice. Sacrifice is what built this country and the wrestling business itself, and the lack of sacrifice is what is killing it.”

Sacrifice…

What have I sacrificed to make things better?

Nothing.

I do not know what true sacrifice is. I have given things up but it has never really been anything of value.

Sure I have sacrificed my body in order to gain success as a wrestler. But what about life outside of the ring?

I have done nothing but walk over people.

But is that necessarily a bad thing?

In this life, you cant earn what you want.

You Have To Take It.

You know, for the past week I’ve been here I’ve been giving nothing but underestimations. And look now, who’s #1 Contender? That right, me! Me, myself, and I! No one gave me any help, and I gave no one help, it’s how the world is run. People don’t care for one another anymore, they care for money, sex, and power. But I, as the godly being I am, I only strive for one thing… violence.

It’s simple Rex, you and I, me and you, we will create a match beyond belief. Hmmm, I like that, “Beyond Belief.” That’s exactly what my title reign will be recognized as in a few years. Oh that’s right, your champ… for now. I can respect that you’ve been champion of such greats feds, such as NAPW and REBEL for instance. But one thing I won’t give you is mercy. Nor anyone else that steps into that ring with me. No Mercy… no mercy.

And it seems now that your so-called posse, “The Crimes,” have your back. Three men don’t matter to me, I took out six and a woman on Tuesday. And the pain and brutality doesn’t stop there Rex, because come Supershow time, your time as champ will be over. Isn’t time a miraculous thing, Rex? We have all the time in the world to become great people, yet every single minute of the day we whine and complain that there isn’t enough time. Well, I’m not one of those people. I take the opportunities that are given to me, at all costs. I would give my liver for that belt, I would give my heart for that belt, and I would go so far as to give my life so that I could leave a legacy fit for a King, a King of REBEL.

Funny how life is, isn’t it? Its all just the same. You live and then you die. How fun is that? Why not gather as much knowledge as you can so you can make an impact on the world during your time on this bullshit planet? Does that not seem like the logical thing to do? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I hardly ever am when it comes to the human struggle. We are all at the dead center of the world and we are all hoping that it implodes, killing us all. Why do we want to live like that? Why do we want to accept failure when we can succeed by opening the eyes of millions, telling them that it is OK to let go and hit rock bottom?

ROCK BOTTOM…

If the world hit rock bottom, the world would slowly be able to build itself once more and become something it was once. A great place to live. In this day and age, its just a big waste of time for everyone to get up and go to work, because the entire world is depressed. We have lost hope and faith because what is there to believe in anymore? That is the question on the minds and tongues of more than half of the world. We all want something better, but we are too chickenshit to do anything about it. We all beg and ask for stuff, demanding for something to happen, but we do not work for the “it” we want. Nowadays, the world needs to realize, every single person, man, woman and child, must understand that if you want something, you cant ask for it…

YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT…

I will take your title Rex, as well as your pride. Your reign is done, Rex. It’s time for the Dominion of The Sparx to uproot. Time and Sacrifice, Rex, time and sacrifice…

[chriscorstenoca]

Where there is light,

There rests Darkness

Hidden deep within,

Ready to awaken in the night

And you become Heartless

Giving into your internal sin

Enjoying the fruits of life,

A life you never witnessed

A life you've always wanted but could never attain,

Now you hold the knife

You breathe in your personal darkness

And you enjoy inflicting pain

Preying on the weak

You begin to lose control

Your entire world turns upside down

your future looks bleak

the darkness has consumed your soul

You realize you have nobody around

You lose it all

You can no longer see yourself in the mirror

You have become a Ghost…

The scene quickly opens up to a small wrestling ring, stained from blood, sweat, and tears, outside of Augusta, Georgia. In the ring, a couple wrestlers duke it off, each laying into the other with rights and lefts. Around the ring, about twenty five fans sit in the chairs, whooping and hollering at every high risk move. Across from the ring lies a huge sign entitled, “Ironfist Gym,” and a US flag hangs below it. When the loud bell sounds to declare the end of the match, the audience stands and claps as they always do. A few teenage girls run over to one of the men, taking numerous pictures with him. Once they are happy and he is free, he struts away to the back door leading to the dressing rooms. As he slowly limps down the hall, a few workers smile at him and continue working. A janitor shakes his hand as he walks by. When he finally reaches his destination, the man creaks open the metal door and then slowly shuts it, hardly making a noise Once the camera switches inside, the man is untying his boots and placing them in a black gym bag, adorned with the initials, “C.C.” Then camera zooms in on the man to reveal Chris Corstenoca, top independent star and wrestler extraordinaire. He looks up and smiles, imagining thousands of people one day watching this…

Chris Corstenoca: You know, when I first decided to join REBEL, I had my doubts. Of course you all know by now, I’m from New York. And REBEL is mostly made up of, well… Rebels. But people seem to align the appearance with the persona and that’s just not the way it goes. Take for say… Rex Caliber. Everyone takes one little glance at him and they run scared, thinking he’s a big bad dog or something. But at heart… he’s nothing but a worthless bitch! Rex! Listen up! I know you can hear me! Well, I got something to say to you! Come Supershow, your time will expire, your worth will be crushed to smithereens! Just as my opponents last match. Sure your tough, sure you’re a good wrestler, and maybe your good looking, I’ll leave that for Crusher to decide, but I know who you truly are, Rex Caliber. Should I reveal it? Should I reveal what you’ve been hiding for so long? Is that belt worth our secret, or is the secret worth that belt? That’s for you to decide… as for me, I have the uncanny ability to control people with their weakest point… their mind. Attack from the legs and they’ll punch you, attack at the sternum and they’ll kick you, attack at their heart and they’ll head butt you, but if you attack the mind…

Chris limps over to his locker, pulling out a MP3 Player and sticking it in his bag.

Chris Corstenoca: Then boom! They have fallen, unconscious… stone cold dead!

At the very moment his states his last words, Chris’ cell phone rings. He checks the caller ID and quickly answers it, flipping open the Nextel and clicking the button.

Chris Corstenoca: Hey! Mr. Heeder, I didn’t expect you to call me again!

Jon Heeder: Well Chris, I couldn’t help myself. With such a good athlete running around and him wrestling at such a crap-hole fed, I had to make sure you were okay.

Chris: What did you say?

Jon: I had to make sure you were okay.

Chris: No, no, before that?

Jon: Oh, that your in such a crap-hole feeeeeddd…..

Chris: What gives you the right to talk about REBEL Pro like that?

Jon: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Settle down big guy!

Chris: No, you need to settle down. I never said anything like that about REBEL.

Jon: I know, but from the way you described it, it sounded…

Chris: What?

Jon: Well, it sounded…

Chris: Crappy? Poor? A dirt bag of a place?

Jon: Well, yeah.

Chris: Man, I never figured you to be a jerk, an (BLEEP), and a jackass at the same time. Hell, I think you beat my record!

Jon: I think I caught you at a bad time, I should go…

Chris: Is that all you wanted to talk to me about on the plane? Joining your company?

Jon: Well, yeah. Your not that big a star, we needed some small timer to job a little for our champ.

Chris: You (BLEEP)in’, motha’…

The call shuts off, leaving Chris speechless and angry. His head starts to turn beat red and he explodes, tossing around chairs and punching a dent into the blue locker behind him. All looks to be over when Chris returns and punches the camera, cracking the lenses, and sending the cameraman falling backwards. Chris grabs his bag and storms out of the locker room, the door slamming shut behind him.

The time has almost arrived…

The inevitable is coming to Rex Caliber…

A demon lurks behind every corner of the REBEL hallways…

Everyone of them is looking to take you out…

But soon…

Soon enough…

One will attack…

One with such force that you will lose balance and fall…

The REBEL title belt falling out of your hands…

And into his…

Your time is running out, your time as champ is depleting…

A new champ with rise…

And the Dominion of The Sparx will rule over all of REBEL Pro…

He is coming…

[Sexy Rexy [REBEL]]

(The more things change, the more they stay the same. The evidence gets clearer everyday. We view the outside of the Nexus Sports Club, the cornerstone of the night club scene in Edmonton since January two thousand six. Back then Rex was with his tag team championship partner Static. It’s May two thousand seven, and once again those two men are partners. Once again partners in “crime.” Today we see a Rex Caliber, head bandaged up, dressed as the business man he is, walking with a casually dressed, masked wearing Hardcore Luchadore. Static leads them inside the bar, as Rex follows suit. The open sign is quickly unplugged by Rex. The customers are asked to leave within ten minutes or Static will show them why he is a former Triple Crown champion in NAPW. Gina, the head bartender since day one, approaches Rex.)

GINA: Why haven’t you called me back? Why is the bar for sell? Wh-

REX: (interrupting her) Gina... the bar is closed for business, babe. The only thing that will be occurring in this place, is me doing paper work, and watching television. Well, maybe drinking. (laughing)

GINA: What about the employees?

REX: I will be giving everyone a nice severance package.

GINA: How much?

REX: It’s not money, but rather some NAPW DVD’s!

GINA: What the hell happened to the Rex who hired me? (near tears) What kind of heartless bas-

REX: (interrupting her again) Those are damn fine DVD’s! Sweetheart, when you were hired, you were just a whore with an ability to pour a drink. A year and a half later, you’re an older whore who can stand in the unemployment line, or whatever the hell Canada has!

(She goes to slap Rex, but hand is quickly caught.)

REX: Get the hell out of my building. Everyone wants to shit on the Crime’s big week! I’m the champ baby, and y’all are just not important!

(She gathers her things, with tears rolling down her face, as Static audibly laughs in the background. The other bartenders exit as well, as the remaining customers pay and leave. Rex and Static sit at the bar.)

STATIC: People don’t understand that business doesn’t revolve around their lives. Y’know? The Crimes are runnin’ this shit like Drug Dealers in Mexico.

REX: Those fans took everything I had... and Sexy Rexy is damn tired of giving. I’m not the quarter hooker that used to give Ravager hand jobs on Whyte Avenue. I’m the champ. (bends over the bar to grab a beer from the ice chest)

STATIC: I keep getting asked why I would come back? After the hell we put each other through.

REX: Sometimes best friends need to do that, to grow closer. We understand each other now, and you accomplished everything you wanted to do in wrestling.

STATIC: (shaking his head) No... ALMOST EVERYTHING! I have my chance to do it now though. I wanted to bring the wrestling world someone who is just as sick, just as full of venom, just as (BLEEP)ing crazy as myself... to wreck shit up long after I’m gone. It’s my way of leaving something behind.

REX: A two hundred forty five pound, chaotic, shit-hammer of destruction?

STATIC: Exactly.. One who won’t let anything stop him from being the meanest sumbitch this business has to offer.

REX: Yep.. I feel like this pressure is off my chest. Time to wreck shit up. I’m not about taking over feds, or doing this and that.. The Crimes are going to collect belts. We going to party it up in every city we can. And we’ll leave anyone who messes with any member of the Crimes, laying in a puddle of blood.

STATIC: Now that’s the shit I’m talking about. By the way, you see those weak ass promo’s by your next victim?

REX: Yep, and that one of Ravager huffing and puffing like he was gonna blow the house down.

(They both laugh.)

STATIC: Ravager? Me and you never, EVER, liked each other. Even if we teamed up a few times. It is good to know that you’re not hypocritical. The thing is... you are just a common man. As much as you hate it you aren’t above the flaws of common men. But the Crimes... WE ARE ABOVE THOSE FLAWS! Love.. is only for money, having a good time, and winning. All of us have that in common. We respect each other fully, but respect no one else at all. It’s like we were born to be this good.

REX: Sparx? This man mentions shit about pride. Pride is an attribute of a foolish man. Pride will never fuel my fire again. Pride... Sparx you can save that shit for your tombstone. Pride? Do you even think I have that? Look how I one my belt. I did it cold, underhanded, and sneaky. Did I pride myself on great performances? NO! I could have beaten them, but why not let my boys have fun. Why not? The fans did nothing for me, but try to maim me. You think that I’m going have those fans dictate what I do? No... never ever will happen. They want to see me versus Ravager... and it won’t happen. WHY? Because me and Rick Garrett’s deal when he opened REBEL. We decided that the top two champions shouldn’t meet for quite sometime. So MAYBE, after you lose that strap... and earn a shot at mine.. MAYBE we can dance.

STATIC: Chris? You are going to be the big man, who single handily ends the reign of the Crimes? You are? A man who got lucky in a battle royal? That’s the man that is going to dominate the champ? What you been smokin’ pal, cause I might take an ounce of it. You don’t have a (BLEEP)in’ clue on how to wrestle that man. You have to damn near kill him to beat him. TRUST ME I KNOW! This man tears the heads off puppies for pure joy. He is the type of man to sneak into your mom’s hospital room and unplug her ass!

REX: You are gonna bring me this ass load of rage right? All this fire, all this passion to take my belt? And then your going to play some (BLEEP)ed up mind games shit? Secrets? About me? Tell them whatever you want kid. Tell them I gangbanged your grandpa, grandma, and your aunt! Tell them I wear panties. Hell, tell the world I like looking at Static naked.

STATIC: (looks at Rex funny) No.. don’t tell them that. You don’t want me bitch slappin’ you around, Sparky!

REX: Point being, secrets, mind games... they are over used, they never work neither. Bruno tried that shit, and I spit on his “diabolical plan.” Little did he know that his last promo was dead on. I didn’t give shit about those fans, I am just as sick as him... (BLEEP) that.. I’M MUCH MORE SICK!

STATIC: That’s right. Chris... you have overstayed your welcome. Fifteen minutes of fame? You’re on borrowed time, and Rex is going to break your (BLEEP)ing neck!

REX: (looking at Static funny) What does that have to do with his time? Shouldn’t I be metaphorically breaking his clock?

STATIC: That too!

REX: Looks like we have company!

(The camera moves to view a mob outside the bar. They are throwing tomatoes, all over the windows. They have anti Rex signs out, and a nice “(BLEEP) Rex” chant going.)

REX: I’m going to call the police... You go over and keep them going.

STATIC: Is that Jon Tees out there?

REX: Nah, I think he is in a mental institution, rooming with a former WWE executive.

STATIC: You don’t say? (Static moves closer to the windows) SUCK MY VOODOO! YEAH YOU TOO BITCH. YOU WANT SOME FATTY? DON’T MAKE ME UNLOCK THIS DOOR!

(Rex is on the phone with police.)

REX: There’s mob outside my bar, Nexus Sports Club... they are vandalizing my property.

STATIC: REAL CREATIVE... Hey Rex, they got a Static should have been aborted sign out there. BUNCH OF LOSERS!

REX: (hanging up) Pigs are en route. Can you believe the disrespect from these people?

STATIC: Jealousy man...

(A paddy wagon shows up and the group is rounded up. Rex and Static go back to the bar.)

REX: You remember me telling you about the idea I had?

STATIC: Yeah, you ever set up anything?

REX: Yep, a meeting later on with him. If I can bring him into the fold, in one way or another... this will be (BLEEP)ing awesome.

STATIC: I don’t like it, truth be told.

REX: Me and him have a respect.

STATIC: Respect ends where money begins... you don’t need his ass. But... if you think it can benefit the Crimes... I’ll support you.

REX: I think it will. And if things don’t go right... we can just handle our business, Crime style.

STATIC: Where’s the meeting?

REX: Diamond's Gentleman's Club!

STATIC: Shit, I’ll have to pass... Banned from there.

REX: Really? Why?

STATIC: Impregnated the top stripper there.

REX: So your a da-

STATIC: Nah, (BLEEP)ing whore aborted it. She quit afterwards. Would'been a damn fine looking baby too.

REX: (smiling) Well looks like the mob is clear.. I’ll catch you later.

(They leave the bar, and Rex shuts off the lights... for the last time! Fade to black!)

[Sexy Rexy [REBEL]]

(Open scene in front of a banner that reads REBEL Pro. This is several hours after the Culture Clash event. This is being taped as a DVD extra, but has been placed on the REBEL-Pro.com and NAPW-online.com, for show hyping purposes. We see a belt come into the picture. It’s the NAPW Provincial belt. It moves, and is replaced by two belts. They are the NAPW Tag Team Titles. They exit the screen to make way for another belt. It’s the REBEL Heavyweight gold. Then the men appear. Rex is cleaned up, stitched up and dressed immaculately in a fine custom made suit. Lloyd Rees is dressed to impress as well. Two belts cover his shoulders. David Banks is sharply attired, and holds his belt.)

REX: A few hours later, and it all sinks in. After the celebration... The partying, the girls, the fun... we now are back to business. Tomorrow morning we board a plane to Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. The hot spot where all three of us made our famous names, even more famous. Sexy Rexy is gonna light the Big E up all week long! The Technical Terror, who makes the women drop at his feet... he is going to strut through the town like he is the (BLEEP)ing Prime Minister. The Chairman of the Crimes over there is going to eat in the finest places, dabble in the finest ladies, and make himself feel at home. Why? Because the CRIMES OWN EDMONTON! The fans are going to line up and bow down to the men who have stolen everything from the companies we wrestle for. The Rexcellence of Rexecution is going to smack Sparx around and send him back home to his daddy. His dad will look at him dead in his blackened eye, and say “ Son... why you go and (BLEEP) around with the Crimes? Ya stupid boy?” Chris will answer his daddy... “I’M ONE OF THE BOYS!” (laughs) You are a wannabe superstar and the world will witness the difference between stars.... AND LEGENDS! We... the members of the Crimes... were (BLEEP)ing legendary. We have held more title belts in our careers, than you have wrestled matches in yours! The men who beat us for those belts... they are legends too. They damn sure wasn’t punk kids shooting off their mouths after a lucky battle royal win.

BANKS: Sparx, you are a damn fool. You think that you can handle the man.. excuse the pun, caliber, of Rex? Rex is going to bring out some Hate... and make you feel it through your entire body. I got some business to take care off too. Warren? Kyle? Cataclysm? Your not going to get my title shot. I want a chance at Carolina gold, or maybe to be the tag champs in two feds. Kyle... You need to give up man... You’re not a singles wrestler.. Just stop pretending, go back to Edmonton, kiss some Richard’s ass, and get taken back. Cataclysm... you wasn’t worth me saying your name. I bet more people know of you now, cause I did. You going to tap out quick! And then there’s Warren. He gets a lucky win off Billy. Me and Rees just beat him down like he was a dog a few weeks ago, he was softened up, so... your welcome. Come on and bring it boys, I’m not going to Hate what I do... I’m going to LOVE IT!

REES: Da damn mention of d’em men makes me wanna puke. How d’ey gonna t’ink d’hey can beat Banks? Da man is pure damn gold. Kyle... D’hat guy I can’t t’ink of? D’hat slack ass? D’hose men gonna stop a CRIME? D’hats (BLEEP)’n funny! D’hose men are gonna get beat’n down... CRIME STYLE! Sparx? I don’t know ya kid, don’t care ta. Da simple fact is dis, ya gonna get da shit kicked out ya. Rex don’t play, and be damn sure certain da CRIMES don’t! Now, Stone.. ya got problems man. Ya t’king on Da East Coast Sensation. Da best damn technical wrassler ever! Ya t’ink ya can pin me shoulders ta da mat? No dame way! My belt is stay’n around me waist... like always!

REX: There you have it. Crimes going into the Supershow with tons of confidence, and damn sure will leave with some wins! Why? Cause were the...

BANKS: CRIMES!

REES: CRIMES!!

ALL: CRIMES!!!

(That scene fades, and we open up to Edmonton. Rex is leaving the strip club meeting with Bruce.)

REX: Damn place gets me my blood pumping! Wonder where my boys are? I might need a wingman to help me out!

(Rex pulls out his trusty cell, and dials. We waits, waits, and no answer.)

REX: No Hardcore Luchadore? Where the hell could he be? Banks... ( he dials, no answer) Damnit... Rees! (dials, and the notices his phone dying) SHIT!

(Rex scratches his head, looks around the streets of Edmonton, and sees someone he recognizes.)

REX: JOSH!

(Josh Reynolds turns around, and looks like he is going to faint.)

REX: What’s wrong my main man?

JOSH: You scared me! And I’m a little hurt!

REX: About?

JOSH: How could you not let me in on the scoop?

REX: I couldn’t man.. BUT, I’m going to pay you back. Tonight, me and you are going to pick up some ladies.

JOSH: (looking serious) You trying to say I need help getting chicks?

REX: EXACTLY! It’s all on me man. We tag team this shit tonight, and we can both leave with prime time pussy!

JOSH: You can’t talk like that, you know you can always be on tape.

REX: (BLEEP) that man, come on.. OR YOUR FIRED!

JOSH: When you put it like that...

(Rex smiles and they enter his limo.)

REX: (talking to his driver) Nearest semi classy bar!

JOSH: Semi?

REX: We don’t want gold digging leaches.

JOSH: Gotcha!

(They arrive at the bar, name hidden from the cameras view. Josh and Rex exit the limo, and Rex turns to Josh.)

REX: Open up your mouth, going to give you something to help with the ladies.

(Josh opens up, expecting a Tic Tac, gum, or shot of mouth wast. What he gets a mini bottle of Jack Daniel’s poured down his throat.)

JOSH: (choking, coughing) What the hell?

REX: Loosens up the nerves. Alright... (slaps himself on his bald head once with both hands, making a sick sound) IT’S GO TIME!

(They enter the bar. Rex and Josh take a seat near the back. Rex surveys the area for hotties.)

JOSH: Shouldn’t you be training?

REX: I already did that today. Me and Static sparred for like an hour, I hit the weights... I’m primed. Not that I need to be, but I might, eventually... sometime... get a decent opponent. But right now baby, Garrett tosses up softballs, I KNOCK THEM OUT THE PARK!

JOSH: (scanning the girls) What about that blonde over there?

REX: Ring on the finger, married, and looks to be looking for a female for a threesome. She is talking to the obvious lesbian right there.

JOSH: Obvious? How is she obvious?

REX: I asked her out last time I was in town, she said she couldn’t, she was lesbian.

JOSH: Ouch, sounds like a lie man.

REX: Nah, if she was straight, she’d be riding the Rex-O-Matic Grand Machine of Love!

JOSH: How bout that one. (points to a chubby girl)

REX: For you maybe... Fat chicks might need love, but it sure as hell won’t be Rex giving it. Rexy ain’t down if you exceed a hundred fifty pound!

JOSH: You made a rhyme..

REX: I’m damn amazing. Hold the phone...

(A beautiful lady walks in, she is stacked. But then comes the problem, the big fat friend.)

JOSH: You sure you ain’t taking this match lightly?

REX: (not taking his eyes off the girl) I train the same for every opponent. Are you just trying to get out of this, by making me feel I’m not prepared for this match? Static scouted the guy, he wrestled his style against me, and I’m prepared. Just RELAX! That is my key to being a champ. I’m relaxed. Now... a hottie entered with a big girl. Do you see the big girl?

JOSH: Yeah, I don’t think I can handle that.

(Rex calls over the waitress.)

REX: Were going to need like six shots of Jaeger... soon.

JOSH: I can’t drink that much.

REX: Trust me... She will lose ten pounds, with every shot.

JOSH: Do I have too? I just have to distract her right?

REX: Yeah...

(Rex drinks two shots, and Josh is semi forced to down the other four. They approach the girls. They start a nice talk. Then bout fifteen minutes later the JD, and Jaeger hit Josh.)

JOSH: Girl... I’d like to ride you like a wild buffalo hunter and his wife too!

REX: (looking at Josh with a shocked look) Josh?

HOTTIE: You need to apologize!

FAT GIRL: (smiling) It’s ok... the little guy has spunk! How bout you and me hit the dance floor?

JOSH: Well there's a shoe for every dinosaur! Giddyup!

(They walk off, Josh staggering.)

REX: I apologize for my friend, he obviously drank way to much.

HOTTIE: It’s ok... She likes his type.

REX: He is a saint. You know he has been waiting for marriage to have sex? A lesser man wouldn’t have that much will power.

HOTTIE: Really? I’m the same way. Marriage is a special bond. Making love should be made special by happening inside of sanctity of marriage.

REX: (eyes widening) Yeah... Oh.. I think my friend might need help! JOSH!

(Rex goes over to Josh.)

JOSH: Rexilicious! Hows the stars down there?

REX: Down where?

JOSH: DOWN HERE! (pointing to the fatty’s ass)

REX: Dude we need to hit another bar.

FAT GIRL: Small fry is sticking with me. We got plans.

REX: Josh?

JOSH: It’s ok... I gots plenty of probable cation!

REX: You mean protection, and you might need a spear gun.

(Rex exits as the fat girl bear hugs Josh.)

REX: Damn... I gotta find something to help me relax.

(Rex sees the chubby girl from earlier, leaving the bar. Strange how a few drinks, and desperation changes ones ideals.)

REX: Hey babe, you wanna ride in my limo?

(Fade to black.)

[chriscorstenoca]

When life throws you lemons… you make lemonade…

When life throws you bone… you take it…

When life throws you wealth… you get rich…

When life throws you health… you don’t get sick…

When life throws you a helluva beating… you stand back up…

Dust yourself off… and go on riding…

Because…

A true man…

Needs not to be told what to do and when to do it….

But does what needs to be done when it needs to…

Wow, the match is approaching so damn fast that I am surprised that I’m not nervous. In my last Heavyweight Title bout I even tried to buy my way out. I was young… novice… scarred. But this time is different. I’m going into a match with an animal… but he’s going into a match with an even fiercer one. The match, as I have said, will be a brutal one. I will pull out all the stops to secure myself at the top and show everybody that I can finally accomplish my dream. I don’t only want this, I need this. And I fear that if I don’t, then Rex Caliber will be beaten even more. But don’t call me a heartless bastard just yet, at least, before the beating takes place. Ha, ha, and Rex Caliber thinks the belt will stay on his waist? He can’t even talk right, let alone keep a Heavyweight Title. C’mon Rex, please, be real. There is no chance in, well, REBEL that you will be the top dog. Go back to NAPW or something, because you’ve already proved to me that you can’t hold your own in REBEL it’s just too crazy and insane for your style. But how did you prove that your not worthy, you ask?

Well, it’s simple Rex, you proved that when you agreed to the match with me. Your getting yourself into a tangled web that you can’t get out of. You won’t recuperate from this match, and I’ll see to it. Your not in my league and I’m kicking you out. It’s strike three Rex, and your out! I’m the pitcher and you’re my target. The ball is in your court now. Leave now and forfeit the title to me and I won’t give you a helluva beating. OR… you can stay and die. Simple enough, but it’s probably confusing you already. But’s that’s not my problem… it’s yours and you have a chance to redeem it. So, Rex, make a decision, lose the title by getting beat down like the puss sac you are, or lose the title easy and simple, forfeit the match. See you at the Supershow, Rex.

The scene opens up on a distraught Chris Corstenoca. He’s seen pacing in his room, his cell phone in his hand. A few timeshe sits on the bed, but soon returns to pacing. When his cell phone begins to vibrate and a familiar melody plays, Chris quickly flipsit open and some color returns to his face.

Chris Corstenoca: Hello?!

: Hi, is this Mr. Corstenoca?

Chris: Yes, is this who I think it is?

: Maybe, what’s the word?

Chris: "Crimes Spree."

: Alright, this is Mr. Renolds.

Chris: Thank god, do you have what I told you to find?

Mr. Renolds: Yes, I’m on my way to your house.

Chris: Good.

Mr. Renolds: You told me you wanted the…

Chris: Yes, don’t say it. I know you have what I need.

Mr. Renolds: But, Mr. Corstenoca, I need to make sure that…

Chris: Just bring it man, by 6pm tonight, I’ll be here.

Mr. Renolds: But wait!

Chris: See you then, bye.

Chris closes his cell phone and smiles. He returns to pacing and begins to bite his nails.

FADE TO BLACK

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TWO HOURS LATER

The door bell rings at Chris Corstenoca’s house and Chris leaps to the door and smirks. When he opens it a short, fat, baldman is standing in the doorway holding a package. When Chris notices the package he grabbed it out of Mr. Renolds’ hands and rushes to his office and begins to tear it open.

Mr. Renolds: Wait, sir, wait…

Chris: Hold on…

When the package reveals whatis inside, Chris’s smile turns quickly into a frown and Chris slowly peers over to Mr. Renolds who is trying to make a face break for the door.

Chris: Not so fast!

Mr. Renolds: Wait, wait!

Chris: I told you I wanted those pictures of Rex Caliber! But what are they? Huh?

Mr. Renolds: Their pictures of… of…

Chris: Spit it out!

Mr. Renolds: Someone else?

Chris: Who?!

Mr. Renolds: I don’t know, sir. I was trying to take the pictures of RexCaliber when a man dressed in a grey suit jumped me. He took the film and crushed it. I tried to take pictures of him, but he was too big. So I only got his shirt.

Chris: I want my money back!

Mr. Renolds: Well…

Chris: I want my money, dammit!

Mr. Renolds: I spent it, sir…

Chris: You what!?

Mr. Renolds: Well, I was so close to the strip club when I was taking the pictures I was tempted…

Chris: You what?! You spent my two hundred bucks on some two-bit whore?

Mr. Renolds: Yes… sir.

Chris: Then your gonna have to work it off.

Mr. Renolds: Doing what, exactly, sir?

Chris: Helping me get those pictures by Tuesday!

Mr. Renolds: But my camera, it…

Chris: We’ll get another one. Rex Caliber will grieve the day he agreed to this match, and you’ll help make sure of that. Even if this doesn’t work, we have to try. Winning that match means the world to me, and more. C’mon, we gotta go find him again… and hurry.

Chris grabs Mr. Renolds’ shirt and drags him out of the room. From a distance you can hear the car door open and shut. A scream is hear after that and some cussing. Then the car revs up and pulls out, then proceeds to squeal away down the road.

FADE TO BLACK

Well, Rex, the day is soon arriving faster than you will be at the arena. And I know you are sitting in your “limo,“ as you call that piece of junk, and you are twiddling away with your fingers. Don’t be scarred, I won’t hurt you… much. You keep talking about how big and bad you are. Well, I hear to tell you different. Sure, the roids make you big, and anyone can act bad, but no one can compare to The Sparx. Your posse matters nothing to me. It’s me and you, mono-e-mono. So don’t even think of trying to get them involved. Like I said, I took out 8 other people last week without even having to throw any over the ropes. Face it, Rex, your five-minutes of fame is … well, I’m wrong there. You never had any fame, and you never will. Holding a title doesn’t make the man, the man holding it makes the title.

You remember that when you see me holding that belt. You remember how it felt, cause after this title “reign” you’ll never hold it again. I’m the new sheriff and you’re the criminal. The “Crimes Spree” is over. I’m king come this Tuesday… so go shove that up your Nexus ass.

[chriscorstenoca]

The dictionary defines VIOLENCE as action intended to cause destruction, pain, or suffering.

The dictionary defines DESTRUCTION as the act of destroying.

The dictionary defines ACT as the process of doing something.

And the dictionary finally defines PROCESS as a series of events to produce a result.

You see Rex, all of those things belong in a process. Violence-Destruction-Act All of these are involves in the “Sparx Process.” The Sparxcess (as I call it) is the process of me taking your title at the Supershow. There will be violence, destruction, and then I will act. And by acting I’m referring to defeating you to become king of REBEL Pro.

The dictionary defines REBEL as a person who resists an established authority, often violently.

Oh yes, Rex, I am the rebel and you are the established authority. Because if you think about it, that Heavyweight Championship symbolizes a “king” or “leader” of a certain group. That group being REBEL Pro Wrestling. And the violently part, that will come soon enough for you. Be wearing all your pads and be sure to shoot up some roids, because I’m bringing my A-Game and more.

The scene opens to the familiar wrestling ring. But this time it isn’t in the REBEL Pro arena, it’s located in Edmonton, the NAPW arena. But this NAPW ring is adorned with an unfamiliar ring shirt. It bears both the NAPW logo and the REBEL one. Below the two logos, in giant lettering reads, “SUPERSHOW.” Around the ring some workers are diligently working to prepare the ring and a few wrestlers chat among the countless chairs located around the squared circle. When the camera tilts up we see Jenny Jersey, in her usual revealing outfit, staring down at a few men that are staring at her. When the camera beeps she looks up with a surprised look, but quickly fixes it with a smile.

Jenny Jersey: Well, all, the time has almost arrived. In a few days, this very ring will be filled to the max with a bunch of hot, sweaty, men. But that’s not all, prizes of perpetual portions will be on the line, as well as…

Chris Corstenoca jumps in the camera’s view and smirks.

Chris Corstenoca: …a shit load of pride.

Jenny Jersey: Well said, Chris.

Chris: Oh, please, call me champ.

Jenny Jersey: Okay. Well, champ, do you mind if I conduct a small interview with the “champ?”

Chris: No prob...

Jenny Jersey: My name is…

Chris grabs her lips with his fingers, in a “shut your mouth” motion. Her eyes open wide and he lets go.

Chris: Shhhhhhhhhh…

Chris bumps her out of the camera’s view and he steps toward the camera, his entire face now in the camera.

Chris: Well, I have arrived. And it looks like Mr. Caliber hasn’t. Figures… I didn’t expect him to anyways. You see, like I said, Caliber has stayed home, scarred to be in the same arena with a person of my quality. He has never witnessed such a being, such a man, such a wrestler, through his beety, little eyes.

Jenny Jersey: So your saying that your better than the champ?

Chris: What?!

Jenny Jersey: I said…

Chris: No! No! No! I’m the champ! Me! I! The champ is right here!

Jenny Jersey: But Rex Caliber has the belt. And I think whoever has heeltaps champ.

Chris: Well, Jenny you thought wrong.

Jenny Jersey: I didn’t…

Chris: Get to steppin', you little whore!!!

Jenny runs away to the back, her head in her hands, balling her eyes out. Chris stares at her until he cannot see her anymore, then he smirks and turns to the camera.

Chris: Like I was saying, Rex Cali…

Rob Martinez leaps into the camera’s view, cutting off The Sparx. Chris begins to get red in the face. His hands ball up and “steam” pours from his ears.

Rob Martinez: Hey Chris, I’m here to fill in for Jenny…

Chris punches Rob in the face and Rob falls back on the mat, his hands covering his face. When the camera turns to him there s blood trickling from his nose and lips. Chris stands over Rob and begins to smack him in the head.

Chris: How do you like that Rob? Feel good?

Chris keeps smacking him until Rob begins to cry and cover his eyes again.

Chris: C’mon, Robbie, cry. Cry, baby, cry!

Rob cries even louder until Chris kicks him in the gut and Rob rolls under the bottom rope and onto the floor. A few workers give smug looks at Chris and proceed to help Rob up.

Chris: What the hell are you looking at? Leave the bitch alone!

The workers drop Rob and all run into the ring, each with a weapon of some sort. The first man, carrying a wrench, attempts to hit Chris with it, but Chris dodges it and kicks the man in the leg. Soon followed by a right hook that sends the man tumbling into another guy, both falling over the ropes. The third man manages to lay a few punches in on Chris, but Chris soon lays him out with his patented “Pandemonium” maneuver. The last man, and the largest and most muscular of the bunch, steps forward and Chris jumps on him. The man locks a grip around Chris and squeezes, Chris yelping in pain. Chris locks his fist and pounds away at the man’s face, blood flowing from his openings. The man drops Chris and falls onto the mat. Chris runs against the ropes and knocks out the man with a “Sparx Star Press.” Chris rips off his shirt and throws it in the man’s face. When Chris returns up to the camera we can see some medical personnel tending to the worker’s wounds.

Chris: Now that’s what I call an old fashioned throw-a-ho-down.

Chris grabs his shirt and exit’s the ring, kicking Rob Martinez in the process. Rob groans and feints. Chris looks one last time at the camera and hollers something out…

Chris: You just wait, Caliber! The Dominion of The Sparx is coming to a REBEL Pro ring near you! See you Tuesday, bitch!

Chris disappears into the back and the camera turns to the mayhem left at ringside.

FADE TO BLACK

Rex Caliber + Chris Corstenoca = Destruction, Pain, Violence, Brutality, etc…

[Sexy Rexy [REBEL]]

(Lights up and we see a DJ booth. A tall, skinny black man, wearing a blue polo shirt on top of a white long sleeved shirt, stands at it. We scan and see a desk with three bar stools sitting next to it. The hand written sign on the the front of the desk reads.... STATIC VISION! We hear some experimental new school hip hop beats from the DJ booth. The DJ booth has a sign on in that simply reads: AkFORTY! The man bobs his head slightly, then he grabs the mic.)

AKFORTY: LADIES AND GENTS.... WELCOME THE HOST OF THE SHOW.... THE HARDCORE LUCHADORE... STATIC!

(The music continues as Static comes out, in a nice suit, still wearing the mask. We waves to what would be a studio audience, but the place is empty. We hear claps, that have to be from a track from the DJ booth. Static stands away from the desk and infront of a banner that reads: NAPW/REBEL Supershow. Both logos are distinct. Static bows to the empty room.)


STATIC: Welcome to the first edition of STATIC VISION! Tonight’s guest include the NAPW Tag Team champs... DAVID BANKS... AND LLOYD REES! Also on the show via telephone... JOHN SALTY! The final guest is the REBEL heavyweight champ... REX... CALIBER!

BIG SHOW TONIGHT! Big... Let’s get to the news going on right now. Ravager versus Simply Beautiful is the main event for the Supershow in Edmonton this week. Big time match up of two men I could whip with my two hands cuffed and the cops that beat Rodney King holding me down. Now... I’m going to be as positive as I can.. the good thing is... Rex isn’t on last, so we can beat traffic for a change!

(We hear a drum roll and ding. Followed by laughs from a fake laugh track.)

STATIC: Other news... Rumor has it Kyle Robert’s ex girlfriend was seen lately, and she has her a new man... WARREN! I mean she was dating the biggest goof ball ever, so at least she has stepped up! I’m on a roll like honey spread. Give me some honey music man.

(We hear some old school beats playing as Static shakes his head.)

STATIC: The big news this week is the reformation of the Crimes. This has to be the biggest thing to ever happen... ANYWHERE! The wrestling world is scared to death, and no woman over the age of 18 is safe. We are hitting every corner of North America, smacking ho’s, beating down grown men... and taking candy from babies! We will be back right after these messages with the CRIME WORTHY MAIL!

(We cut to a preview of one of three main events on the Supershow. The song “I (BLEEP)ing Hate You” by Godsmack plays as video shows highlights for Kyle Roberts versus Warren versus Cataclysm versus David Banks. We see footage of David Banks smacking around Tommy Deathrow. We see a shot of Warren going through a table at the hands of Caliban. We see a David Banks celebrating after the Tag Title win. We see a shot of Kyle Roberts getting pinned by Rex Caliber. Then wee see a picture of Banks posing for the camera. No shot of Cataclysm.. but no one seems to care. We see a collage of pictures. Kyle laying on the mat, Cataclysm on the mat, and Warren laying on the remains of a table. Then we see David Banks hand held by a ref in the on top of them all. Back to the show with Static at his desk.)

STATIC: Next is where we answer fan mail. The first letter is from Cletus in Cowpens, South Carolina. He writes...

Static,

How can Rex turn his back on his fans, be all assholish and all?

Well Cletus... The answer is the fact that you fans turned on Rex long ago, so when you did that... there was no longer a relationship. So suck some Voodoo and get over it!

The second letter is from Cynthia from Charlotte. She writes...

Rex and me had hours of fun the other week? We can we get together again?

WHOA! I’ll wait to ask Sexy Rexy that one later.

The third and final letter is from Bill in Alberta. Bill writes:

How the hell could you come back and turn Rex into an evil monster again? I hope you burn in hell Static!

Damn.. I’d bet anything that “Bill” was once a mighty Mayor, now baby sits a Beast. To answer your question... (BLEEP) YOU... THAT’S HOW THE HELL I CAN DO THAT!

Some exciting questions for the show. Now this is a treat. We have live in the studio... Mike “Sparky” Corstenoca.. The Sparx’ daddy! He will be laying out the Top Ten Reasons his son will not win this Sunday!

(A drunk hobo wearing women’s clothes walks into the makeshift studio. He staggers to a bar stool, and takes a seat.)

STATIC: NUMBER 10:

MIKE: My son hasn’t beat anything but his meat since he has been born!

STATIC: NUMBER 9:

MIKE: His grandmother was his wrestling trainer, and he could never get a pin on Granny.. God rest her soul.

STATIC: NUMBER 8:

MIKE: He is relying on soley on his skill and talent, two things he doesn’t possess.

STATIC: NUMBER 7:

MIKE: His biggest claim to fame is to having the worlds smallest bicep.

STATIC: NUMBER 6:

MIKE: His mom is my cousin, and my brothers aunt!

STATIC: NUMBER 5:

MIKE: He is taking on a member of the CRIMES!

STATIC: NUMBER 4:

MIKE: He is great in the ring, until the bell sounds... then he goes to shit.

STATIC: NUMBER 3:

MIKE: If he doesn’t get a sponge bath from mom before the match he gets unfocused, and she didn’t make the trip.

STATIC: NUMBER 2:

MIKE: You’ve seen him in action... damn man is less athletic than the singer of Blues Traveler.

STATIC: AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON SPARX WILL NOT WIN TUESDAY IS:

MIKE: HE IS WRESTLING REX CALIBER... ENOUGH SAID!

STATIC: There you have it. Our guests David Banks and Lloyd Rees will be up next.

(Cut to the second of the two other main event previews. We hear the music of Eminem, song is “Til I Collapse”. We see Lloyd Rees beating up D!. Cut to him making Rex tap. Then on to him taking the belts in the ladder match. He hold up all his gold and we move into Stone Zellor laying face down on the mat. We see text that says: Da more t’ings change da more d’ey stay da same! Back to the show. We hear some new innovative music, and out walks The NAPW Tag Team Champ. They wave to the camera and take seats next to Static’s desk.)

STATIC: Welcome champs! It’s great to have you here tonight.

REES: Da pleasure is all ours. We are proud ta be on da show!

STATIC: Now both of you have big matches this week. David, you have three jobbers in a four way match. Do you feel slighted that you aren’t given a damn title shot, and must compete in this trivial match?

BANKS: Slighted isn’t the word for it. It’s a damn conspiracy against the most elite force in wrestling. They are trying to make it where the Crimes have the obstacles in the way of more gold. The unwritten anti monopoly rule in these feds. It’s bullshit, but hey.. I’ve been knocking down barriers my whole career. I’m going to make three bitches tap out in that ring.

STATIC: Looking forward to it. Now Lloyd, you have the dubious task of facing Stone Zellor for your prestigious Provincial title. Now you and me are the two greatest wrestlers to hold that belt... do you think Stone even deserves a shot?

REES: Da truth of da matter is dis: NO! Da lil’ bastard has’t done shit ta earn it in my position. He is gonna face a CRIME, and da damn CRIMES ain’t lay’n down this Tuesday, or any Tuesday. We go’n in champs, and leav’n da same dame way!

STATIC: How do you feel about people dubbing Rex the leader?

REES: It is just bullshit. T’is is a well oiled machine of ass kick’n, and people better know that. Rex lets everyone know that we are no better than another. T’is just people try’n to stir up trouble.

BANKS: Exactly what he said. No man is greater than the group.

STATIC: Well, we need to take a commercial break, and back with the third CRIME!

(The final main event preview of the three main events comes on. The song is “It’s a Fight” by Three Six Mafia. The highlights have Rex Caliber pinning Bruno to win the vacant belt. Then we see him pin Tommy Deathrow. His hand is raised. Then to his recent victory over Bruno, and the chair shot on Ravager. Again. Again. One more shot of the shot that set wrestling on fire. No shot of Sparx, but everyone is coming to see the champ anyways. Rex is last seen holding the belt high, with the Crimes around him. The show returns with Static and the guests showed.)

STATIC: (next to a speaker phone) We are back with a call from John Salty. How are you man?

JOHN: Been better me b’y. I wanna see d’hat Bruno get his ass kicked... CRIME STYLE! He needs to bleed, he needs ta be’n a (BLEEP)’n wheel chair for what he did ta me. Dame shame I won’t be doi’n it me self.

STATIC: We got your back bud.. don’t worry.... (hangs up, sits the phone down low) Let’s bring out the REBEL Champ... Rex Caliber!

(Rex walks out to the fake clap track, and cool hip hop beats.)

REX: Whoa does it feel good to be on your show. BIG FAN!

STATIC: Thanks man. But y’know I’m gonna ask the big questions. Ya ready?

REX: (taking in a deep breath) YES!

STATIC: The red head from last week wants to know when you going to give her some.

REX: Next week babe... NEXT WEEK!

STATIC: Now is she in fact the owner of REBEL’s wife?

REX: Yes... (fake track of oooooo) BUT.. they are separated. Thinking she might have just wanted a revenge lay, and who better than the Apollo Rocket of Love.

STATIC: So how about all these rumors about some damaging photos of you? Can Sparx damage your image?

REX: MY IMAGE? (BLEEP) my image. Who the hell cares what peeps think? But the photos are in my possession. Chris... I’ll show them just for you.

(Rex shows a picture, but it is censored.)

REX: This is me (BLEEP)ing ya momma Chris!

(Rex throws that away and shows a second one, also censored.)

REX: This is me (BLEEP)ing ya sister... She’s 17, which is legal in North Carolina!

(Rex throws it down, pops another one up. Censored as well.)

REX: Me giving it too both of your grandmas, and with out teeth, those bitches are GOLD! So... there you go Chris!

STATIC: Damn.. you get around don’t you?

REX: Don’t I know it! But he has done these weak ass attempts at mind games, and quite frankly he is just showing his lack of creativity. So Sparx is coming at me with a fiery passion... so did Tommy, Kyle and Bruno. They are all ten times better than you, and all got beat. So bring it on bitch. You are no worry, cause the CRIMES are handling there business... you can bank on that.

STATIC: Any parting words from you three? Ah, (BLEEP) this shit!

(He undoes his tie, and throws it down.)

STATIC: This has been fun both truth of the matter.. It ain’t me. I’m not some voice for the Crimes. I’m a mentor, a trainer, a manager for the best group of men to assemble. This war between NAPW and REBEL is like East coast rap and West coast rap. In the big picture it don’t mean shit. The truth is, there is something bigger.

BANKS: Me winning tag gold is fine, but I need single gold. I hate not having it. This match gives me that chance, and I’m going to take my HATE... make it my partner. I’m walking out victorious, and it’s not about doing good for REBEL!

REES: Dis war is stupid. Da other matches don’t matter one dame bit. Da fact is... I’m gonna go’n champ, gonna leave champ, and d’hey ain’t noth’n Stone can do ta stop it. This is’t bout da NAPW!

REX: The Sparx is a good looking man, trying to give the champ a challenge. Ravager believes I want him out as champ, but it’s not that. I want his belt to mean as much as mine. Right now, I’m taking out more competition, defending my belt against tougher stars. You have had easy opponents, so with SB, and Bruce... I’m trying to give them a better chance to compete. You need to fight amped up guys in order to compete with what I do. You can put me against WayneWright, and I’ll make it a good match. You... you need more hungry fighters. Now if you lose because of what I do... So be it. Your champ, and shit happens. Don’t bitch, don’t cry.. just realize you’ll always be in the shadow of the Crimes. This Supershow features you, and features me whipping Sparx like I own his ass! Now... my match may or not be match of the night. Two other Crimes may take that honor. Sparx is going to get his chance, he will fail, and REBEL will bring on someone new. It’s a set pattern, and I expect it for a long, long time. But this isn’t about REBEL. This Supershow isn’t about them, nor NAPW. Where does our allegiance in this two fed war belong.... it belongs too:

(Shot of the Supershow banner, with the fed logos. Then another one drops down that says: SUPERSHOW: BROUGHT TO YOU EXCLUSIVELY BY THE CRIMES!)

ALL: CRIMES! CRIMES!! CRIMES!!!

(Fade to black.)