Tittylover's RP (as I'm sure it will get deleted)
~ Somewhere In Detroit ~
Inside a gym that could best be described as "scuzzy" we find ourselves looking at one of the men who will compete for the FFA Title. He's six feet five inches of dark sexy chocolate. His two hundred and thirty five pounds are toned to perfection. Look at his floor length leopard print coat, his skin tight leather pants, the heavy black Army combat boots, his fishnet tee shirt and his black fedora complete with small green feather. This kids, is what style is all about. He's been called an urban legend. A myth told to rookies. He's the Mad Pimp, Dr. Tittylover. He smiles for the camera and his gold tooth (with a marijuana leaf engraved on it) shines in the light.
Tittylover: 'Bout time you crackers showed up. Damn, time is money n*ggas! I can't be waitin' all day for yo' sorry asses. Anyway, glad you made the trip cause I'm bout to show you fools why the Titty is about to become the next FFA Champion! Let me introduce my sparring partners.....
A handful of homeless looking people shamble out from the shadows. Tittylover walks over to a ring that looks like it could collapse at any moment and calls them in.
Tittylover: Get yo' asses in here n*ggas! I wanna show these bastards what I'm bout.
The motley crew crawl into the ring and huddle in a far corner. Dr. Tittylover points to a obese man who smells like wet feet.
Tittylover: Damn n*gga! Yo boobs bigger than them hoes in the Playboy magazines! Get yo ass over here and let me introduce you to my friend....
The obese man timidly walks over to Tittylover and promptly takes a big boot to the face!
Tittylover: (yelling) Bootzilla Biatch!!!
The obese man hits the man and teeth scatter across the dirty mat like skittles.
Tittylover: Okay gimmie someone else. Yo, gimmie that crack head over there!
Tittylover points to, well a crackhead. The man shuffles over to Tittylover and grins. His teeth are rotten and sores are all over his sunken face.
Tittylover: Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn n*gga. Wait a sex, er, sec.
Tittylover reaches into his coat pockets and pulls out rubber gloves. Soiled rubber gloves.
Tittylover: Okay let's go n*gga!
Before the crackhead can make a move he's scooped up by Tittylover and planted onto the mat with a tombstone piledriver.
Tittylover: Say hello to my "Big Stiffy" you mutha $%&#!!
Tittylover rolls the crackhead out of the ring and leaps back to his feet. He shadow boxes for a moment and starts coughing. After he gets his smokers cough under control he smirks for the camera.
Tittylover: Next n*gga, next!
A nappy headed looking woman wearing as little clothing as possible eases her way towards Tittylover.
Tittylover: Hey baby...What's yo name?
Nappy Headed Hooker: It's....
Dr. Tittylover grabs the woman and hits his "Atomic Dog" bulldog on the woman!
Tittylover: (screaming) BLAM SKANK!!!
Tittylover is back to his feet and looks at the last "sparring partner" in the ring.
Tittylover: Come on n*gga...I gave you a twp piece from Popeyes so yo ass has to spar wit me!
The scared looking man actually rushes Tittylover shocking The Mad Pimp! However, seeing how Tittylover isn't high (today) he quickly drops down and uses a drop toe hold on the energetic sparring partner! The man hits the mat and Tittylover locks in "The Mothership Connection" STF! The man quickly taps out and Tittylover releases the hold. Tittylover leaps to his feet and laughs.
Tittylover: That was just a sample of what my black ass can do in da ring! That FFA title...Whatever FFA stands for...Is mine crackers! No longer will "da man" hold me down! No longer will "da man" say I can't work with kids cause of my record! No longer will "da man" blame me for sellin' his stupid ass a bag of baby powder instead of some yum yum powder! Wait...What the &**$ was I talkin' 'bout?
We hear the cameraman whisper something to Dr. Tittylover.
Tittylover: Oh yeah...The FFA Title. Damn I hope dat ain't some redneck thing. Anyways I'm gonna toss every n*gga in that ring out on his ashy ass to win that title! I need me some bling! Can you picture it? Me in Sin City at the Palace of Dildos. It's fate baby! Who else do you think is gonna walk out that match with that title? That little geisha girl? That fake ass Gangsta Jason Payne? I think NOT n*gga!
Tittylover leans close to the camera and actually licks the lens. We can hear the camera man go "ugh" with disgust.
Tittylover: That's for you geisha girl. I'll save you fo last so I can open your fortune cookie.
Tittylover winks at the camera.
Tittylover: I am the next F-F-A Champion of da world biatches!!! Let the era of the titpocolypse begin!!!
We fade out on the image of Tittylover breaking out into the "Robot" dance inside the ring.
