Jacob needs help, boyz. (ALL READ)

[Nightmare]

OK, look, I'm just a bit confused as to the results of my matches. I just had Dio Muerte PM me telling me that he thought I was going to win. The same thing with Scott when I fought Caliban in falls count anywhere. "I strongly thought you were going to win" and so on and so forth.

So what's the problem? Obviously if my own opponents think that I should have won, I should have won. I just need to know why I didn't.

Help me out, guys, really.


- Jacob

[Ryan Ro [NAPW]]

Your opponents are not the judges. In general the author is the least-equipped to criticize his own work - most of us are never satisified with your stuff.

[Nightmare]

My stuff? I don't follow. I mean why are you not satisfied?

["Superstar" Deathrow]

nightmare said:

My stuff? I don't follow. I mean why are you not satisfied?

Sounds like my EX

[Nightmare]

LAWL.

[Nightmare]

But really, guys, I need help. Help is defined as to answer the question "Why am I not winning matches I know I should have won?"




- Jacob

["Superstar" Deathrow]

Whats that boy? Jacob needs help? He fell down the well. HMMM put the lotion in the bucket

Honestly not sure what to tell ya Jacob.

[Thomas Young]

Well, you can't really KNOW you are going to win.

If you lost, then there was something you were doing wrong.

I've lost plenty of matches that I thought I'd win.
Then people pointed out what I was doing wrong and I fixed it.

Ryan give him that constructive criticism.

[Nightmare]

Yes, sir, but if no body tells me what I'm doing wrong, than it can't be fixed, right?

[KRENSHOV]

Suggestion: construct an actual character. We all see your bio, but where's the emotion and this 'Apocalypse' alter ego? Instead of an interesting concept, we get three guys goofing around about the Lex Vain column and playing video games. You've got potential, you just need direction.

If that doesn't work, try putting out to Ryan. It's what all the cool kids are doing.

[Stone Zellor]

I recommend trying to tell a story and using a bit more detail. Instead of saying "Nightmare is sitting on a chair", say "Nightmare is sitting on a 19th century, hand-carved oak throne" or whatever he has, wherever he lives.

A bit more meat or substance. That's all you need, Jacob. Give your character a story. Like when the Predator was tracking someone through the back alleys of Edmonton (if I remember correctly) and you roleplays had a more solid direction. Make Nightmare catch his friend smoking behind the bike shed, right after they've just had a lecture about the dangers of smoking. Or have his friends experiment with performance enhancing drugs before a big game - or something that's not ripped from a Peter Engel show. Ooh, introduce a Mr. Belding character and have a geeky assistant to guide Nightmare through all of life's problems.

Hang on, I was trying to be serious before then.

Basically, get a story. Whether it's one that can carry over into the shows, or just one for your guy's personal life - I'm not sure what's better.

Maybe come up with outlandish ways to try and take over the world.

[Ryan Ro [NAPW]]

Stop overusing italics. I know what you're going for: Emphasis. But try reading those lines out loud exactly as you write. People don't talk like that, and Nightmare's "voice" sounds... odd. Not in a "unique voice" way, in a "why is he emphasizing that word?"

I know D! was known for using italics. He knew when and where and how to use them. It's about when and where. Use italics when appropriate, where appropriate, considering how they make the line sound. Overusing them can sound fairly whiny.


"I guess I am being a little hypocritical. I mean, I could never take a loss. Not for long. But I'm not pissed that I lost because Dio Muerte got help... I'm pissed that I lost because I knew it was coming."

Read it out loud with the emphasis. Italics means you're REALLY stressing a word. The first sentence is awkward and whiny. It doesn't need italics. By contrast, the final sentence works. Stressing "knew it was coming." Works, the rest of it doesn't.

[Ryan Ro [NAPW]]

Ultimately no author is unbiased enough towards his own work to accurately judge it against the other person's work. Many of us have lost matches we feel we "should have won." It happens.

[Lex Vain]

*cough*Black Thursday I*cough*

...I mean...what?

[KRENSHOV]

Aww damn. The Midnight Cowboys icon was changed. The one you had before made me giggle like a small child watching Big Bird seduce Elmo with a bottle of Malibu and date rape pills.