Pre-New Year Slack

[Scott [NAPW Staff]]

(Lights up. We are at the Dudes’ apartment. The residue of Christmas still resides, with decorations that need taken down, and presents that need put away. MIKE JOHNSTON sits in his lawn chair by the telephone, and is at the tail end of a conversation.)

MIKE: They said that did they?

(We can faintly make out someone on the other end. Is the person shrieking? Mike holds the phone a little away from his ear.)

MIKE: There’s no need to get so worked up. I’m sure everything’ll work out over there. I mean, seriously, they’d have to be pretty ungrateful otherwise, right? Right. Well just remember that you still have some fans. No, no worries. Yeah, well Happy New Year to you too. Oh, and feel free to call if you need someone to just jam with, cool? Right. Bye now.

(Mike hangs up just as CAMERON SCOTT walks into the scene.)

CAM: Who was that?

MIKE: Oh, just a friend calling to wish us a Happy New Year.

CAM: Oh, cool.

(Mike sits up, suddenly all business.)

MIKE: Did you get the car?

CAM: Tiffany and I just rented it.

(Cam pulls out some papers and tosses them to Mike, who grins.)

MIKE: Nice! How long we got it for?

CAM: We pick it up after Monday and we’ve got about a week.

MIKE: Perfect. More than enough time. Dude, this is going to be so much fun!

CAM: A New Year road-trip to kick off 2006? Best idea you ever had. No, really, this is even better than rewriting the Twelve Days of Christmas.

MIKE: Well, I have my moments. Where’s Tiffany?

CAM: She’s started packing already.

MIKE: Cool.

CAM: So… what do we do in the meantime?

(Mike stares at Cam blankly.)

CAM: You know, what’s the plan for Monday. When D-X decided to cash in their coupon for a title shot and drinks at BP’s.

MIKE: Right. Well, to tell you the truth I hadn’t really come up with a plan for Monday. I was too busy working on the road trip.

CAM: So hold on. D-X are going to have Terry Brandon at ringside, the self-proclaimed “genius” of the wrestling world… oh, and Chris Casino may very well interfere on their behalf, and we have no plan?

MIKE: I figured we’d just wing it.

CAM: (Looks relieved.) Oh, well, why didn’t you say so!

(Cam plops down in his own lawn chair.)

MIKE: Seriously, we beat them once, we can beat them again. I mean, what can Kyle, Terry and Chris really do that we’ve never seen before.

CAM: And Bruce.

MIKE: Who?

CAM: Kyle’s partner?

(Blank stare.)

CAM: The less talented one… who stole Undertaker’s gimmick?

(Blank stare.)

CAM: We sent him a Christmas present.

(Still nothing seems to be ringing a bell.)

CAM: You and Immortal fought him before the break?

MIKE: Bruce… Caliber?

CAM: Forget it.

MIKE: We’ll just watch some old Undertaker matches, it’s cool. Seriously, what could they possibly do that a couple of wrestling affectionados like us couldn’t adapt to on the fly?

(There’s a brief awkward pause.)

CAM: You think maybe we’re taking this match a bit too lightly?

MIKE: I think you’re sounding a bit too much like Tiffany.

(Lights down as we cut to a commercial for the new Chris Casino “Terry Brandon is my Sugar Daddy” T-shirt.)