Post by Chris Casino on Dec 30, 2005 14:43:48 GMT -5
- Boring -
In his private suite at the Bellagio we find our reigning NAPW Champion Chris Casino holding court with rap video vixen Esther Baxter. Casino is dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a "Greed Is Good" tee shirt. Baxter meanwhile is showing plenty of cleavage and her leather skirt appears to be a size to small. Not that Casino cares mind you. Both of them are drinking wine as Marvin Gaye croons mournfully on the stereo system. It appears that Casino & Baxter plan on taking Marvin up on his "Let's get it on" idea. They're making small talk, trying to let the wine work it's wonders when a knock comes at the door and the mood is killed instantly.
Casino: (shouting) GO AWAY!!
Brandon: (muffled) Chris it's important! We need to talk!
Casino lets out a groan, takes a last longing peek at the cleavage of Esther Baxter and stands up from the couch.
Casino: Sorry baby, Just let me take care of some business and then, well we can pick up where we left off okay?
Esther pouts as she gets off the couch and walks over to the door. She opens the door and Terry Brandon practically spills inside the room. Esther ignores the man (and Casino) as she leaves in a huff. Brandon hurries over to the couch and takes a seat next to his client.
Casino: This better be good Brandon I was about to put my coin into her slot machine if you catch my drift.
Brandon: I just got word from NAPW....D! has gone missing. You did it kid! He's gone forever!
Casino looks at Brandon for a moment then grins.
Casino: I KNEW it. I knew his sorry ass couldn't take the embarrassment of losing the NAPW title to me. He let down all 27 of his fans and now him and his white trash family will have to go back to living on street corners to make ends meet. Now if I could just get rid of Predator....
Brandon: Oh forget him kid, he's small time. We've got bigger things to worry about than Predator.
Casino: We do? Who else is there? With D! gone and Ravager off having a pity party the list of challengers is pretty slim.
Brandon: What about Maniac?
Casino: HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!!! (a pause) Oh...You're serious?
Brandon: I saw his promo the other night and...
Casino: Holy sh*t! You watched the entire thing in one sitting?
Brandon: It's what I do kid, I look after my clients. Anyway, he could be a problem.
Casino: Only if he runs over me with a Buick. He's off playing grab ass with Cracker Jacks....
Brandon: Axle Jaxx.
Casino: Pfffffffffffft whatever. At any rate he's to...What's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah, he's to much of a little bitch to even THINK of coming after "the Future" of NAPW. However....I had my production team come up with something. A tribute of sorts to Maniac.
Brandon: You have your own production team?
Casino: I own 1/3 of the Bellagio Brandon. In case you forgot I'm rich bitch! Now here watch this....
Casino picks a remote of the coffee table in front of them and mashes a button. His plasma screen comes to life and we see the semi beautiful town of Alberta Canada. An ominous music starts to play and a long shadow falls over the town.
Brandon: What the Hell is this?
Casino: Shhhhhhhh! It's starting to get good.
The dirty Canadians if Alberta look up at the shadow and the camera pans around to reveal...A life sized cardboard cut out of Maniac. Someone (most likely Casino) has stuck a microphone in the cardboard cut outs hands.
Casino: What a mook.
The fake Maniac starts to advance onto the town and the dirty Canadians flee like roaches. Instantly we see the film is spliced with scenes of old Godzilla movies. Instead of Canadians we catch quick glances of Asians running like Hell from the "monster"
Brandon: Kid...You have to much time on your hands.
The fake Maniacs begins to "speak" yet it sounds just like Chris Casino.
Fake Maniac: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! I'm unpredictable bitches!!! Get in my belly!!
Cardboard buildings and cars go up in flames as the fake Maniacs tramples everything in it's path.
Fake Maniac: I feel the need for another promo!!!
Screams of panic fill the air as the Canadians / Asians run even faster.
Brandon: Uh, okay well I'm off. I just wanted to give you the news of D!'s disappearance.
Casino: Yeah, well he's probably in an alley letting old men touch his ferret for $5.
Brandon slides off the couch as the horrid Ed Wood like movie continues to play.
Casino: Hey, if Esther is still out there tell her to come back in here. I need to hit her lucky 7.
Brandon: Sure kid.
Brandon leaves the room as casino watches his masterpiece.
- cut to a commercial for the Predator tee shirt, only $4.99! -
In his private suite at the Bellagio we find our reigning NAPW Champion Chris Casino holding court with rap video vixen Esther Baxter. Casino is dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a "Greed Is Good" tee shirt. Baxter meanwhile is showing plenty of cleavage and her leather skirt appears to be a size to small. Not that Casino cares mind you. Both of them are drinking wine as Marvin Gaye croons mournfully on the stereo system. It appears that Casino & Baxter plan on taking Marvin up on his "Let's get it on" idea. They're making small talk, trying to let the wine work it's wonders when a knock comes at the door and the mood is killed instantly.
Casino: (shouting) GO AWAY!!
Brandon: (muffled) Chris it's important! We need to talk!
Casino lets out a groan, takes a last longing peek at the cleavage of Esther Baxter and stands up from the couch.
Casino: Sorry baby, Just let me take care of some business and then, well we can pick up where we left off okay?
Esther pouts as she gets off the couch and walks over to the door. She opens the door and Terry Brandon practically spills inside the room. Esther ignores the man (and Casino) as she leaves in a huff. Brandon hurries over to the couch and takes a seat next to his client.
Casino: This better be good Brandon I was about to put my coin into her slot machine if you catch my drift.
Brandon: I just got word from NAPW....D! has gone missing. You did it kid! He's gone forever!
Casino looks at Brandon for a moment then grins.
Casino: I KNEW it. I knew his sorry ass couldn't take the embarrassment of losing the NAPW title to me. He let down all 27 of his fans and now him and his white trash family will have to go back to living on street corners to make ends meet. Now if I could just get rid of Predator....
Brandon: Oh forget him kid, he's small time. We've got bigger things to worry about than Predator.
Casino: We do? Who else is there? With D! gone and Ravager off having a pity party the list of challengers is pretty slim.
Brandon: What about Maniac?
Casino: HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!!! (a pause) Oh...You're serious?
Brandon: I saw his promo the other night and...
Casino: Holy sh*t! You watched the entire thing in one sitting?
Brandon: It's what I do kid, I look after my clients. Anyway, he could be a problem.
Casino: Only if he runs over me with a Buick. He's off playing grab ass with Cracker Jacks....
Brandon: Axle Jaxx.
Casino: Pfffffffffffft whatever. At any rate he's to...What's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah, he's to much of a little bitch to even THINK of coming after "the Future" of NAPW. However....I had my production team come up with something. A tribute of sorts to Maniac.
Brandon: You have your own production team?
Casino: I own 1/3 of the Bellagio Brandon. In case you forgot I'm rich bitch! Now here watch this....
Casino picks a remote of the coffee table in front of them and mashes a button. His plasma screen comes to life and we see the semi beautiful town of Alberta Canada. An ominous music starts to play and a long shadow falls over the town.
Brandon: What the Hell is this?
Casino: Shhhhhhhh! It's starting to get good.
The dirty Canadians if Alberta look up at the shadow and the camera pans around to reveal...A life sized cardboard cut out of Maniac. Someone (most likely Casino) has stuck a microphone in the cardboard cut outs hands.
Casino: What a mook.
The fake Maniac starts to advance onto the town and the dirty Canadians flee like roaches. Instantly we see the film is spliced with scenes of old Godzilla movies. Instead of Canadians we catch quick glances of Asians running like Hell from the "monster"
Brandon: Kid...You have to much time on your hands.
The fake Maniacs begins to "speak" yet it sounds just like Chris Casino.
Fake Maniac: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! I'm unpredictable bitches!!! Get in my belly!!
Cardboard buildings and cars go up in flames as the fake Maniacs tramples everything in it's path.
Fake Maniac: I feel the need for another promo!!!
Screams of panic fill the air as the Canadians / Asians run even faster.
Brandon: Uh, okay well I'm off. I just wanted to give you the news of D!'s disappearance.
Casino: Yeah, well he's probably in an alley letting old men touch his ferret for $5.
Brandon slides off the couch as the horrid Ed Wood like movie continues to play.
Casino: Hey, if Esther is still out there tell her to come back in here. I need to hit her lucky 7.
Brandon: Sure kid.
Brandon leaves the room as casino watches his masterpiece.
- cut to a commercial for the Predator tee shirt, only $4.99! -