Post by Chris Casino on Dec 29, 2005 23:43:37 GMT -5
- A Night Out -
The Bellagio Casino and Resort. One of the biggest and most posh of any of the numerous casinos that line the main drag of Las Vegas. People from around the world fly in just to try their hand with lady luck. Only to walk away in bitter defeat. We find our way to Shintaro, one of the nicer restaurants in the hotel. The Shintaro is an authentic Thai food restaurant that's world famous for their many delicacies. At a private table we find our NAPW Champion Chris Casino sipping a glass of wine. Decked out in a tailor made Armani suit he looks every inch of class. He smiles to us and shows off his brilliant white teeth.
Casino: Welcome. As you can see from looking around I'm enjoying my week off. I consider it a perk of being the best wrestler in the NAPW. If you doubt me, then all you have to do is answer one simple question. Who holds the NAPW Title? Chris Casino baby. The man who has single handily made NAPW a power player in the wrestling industry. Before me, that promotion languished, now it thrives. I find it no coincidence that both D! and his life partner Ravager have all but avoided me since I took the NAPW Title. Maybe they've finally realized that their fifteen minutes of fame has thankfully expired.
Casino takes another sip and runs a hand through his perfectly combed hair.
Casino: Of course there are drawbacks wrestling in Canada. As one would expect. Not only is the talent pool shallow but the fans smell like feet. To say I'm not fond of Canada would be an understatement. But yet, I am forever hearing the same question asked over and over again. 'But Chris' they ask, 'if you hate Canada then why are you here?'
Casino snickers.
Casino: It's because the NAPW paid me to be here you stupid bastards. To all of you ignorant dirty Canadians who are to stupid to understand business this is what happened. Don't worry, I'll go slow and use small words so you can keep up. While I was on a tour in Japan, I received a phone call from some small Canadian promotion that needed some name reorganization. Someone who could bring their company back from the edge of bankruptcy. Hell, D!, Ravager and Mirage were headlining shows! Of course the place was about to close! But then I arrived and saved it. I not only won the NAPW title but I made sure all the ungrateful fans in Canada still had a wrestling promotion to watch.
What what kind of thanks to I get? People boo me. They spit at me. Why? Because I'm better then them. I'll always be better than them. And they damn well know it. I'm in Canada to make NAPW the biggest promotion in the world. Lord knows they're paying me enough to do so. I didn't come to Canada to kiss ass or play by the rules. I came to create noise. Cause havoc. In general, make people tune in to NAPW. Safe to say...I did all of the above. Just listen to all the little bitches in the back complain about me and my tactics. They're all consumed with jealousy.
People also wonder why I've aligned myself with DX, seeing how I generally hate Canadians. That too is simple. Domination. When D! agreed to the cage I knew he had sealed his fate. So I went out and got some muscle. As it stands that episode of me beating D! for the title is STILL one of the highest rated shows in NAPW's history. But do I get any thanks? Nada. I just get morons like Immortal or Predator boring me with weak ass promos as they headline Action. I get retards like "The Don" telling the world that MY title...Will soon be his. Pathetic. Each and every one of them.
Casino orders more wine and sits back in his chair. All around him people are involved in the own private worlds.
Casino: I have an open contract with NAPW. Whoever wants me...Can get me. There isn't a soul alive that I fear. I'm confident that there isn't a person in NAPW or elsewhere that can pin me for the title. So line up you jealous ass bastards, cause I'm about to show you dirty Canadians how to wrestle.
From the crowd we see two figures emerge. Both famous. They take a seat at Chris Casino's table and he welcomes them.
Casino: Snoop Dogg. Paris. Glad you could make it.
Snoop: Fo' Shizzle!
Paris: Yeah this place is hot.
Casino: Hey look Paris...We need to talk. There seems to be a certain tape of us that's popped up on the net. Again.
Snoop:: Yo cuz, I told you not to %^&$ with dem white girls.
Paris: It was stolen. I swear.
Casino: Yeah.
Snoop: You eva get rid of Halle Berry?
Paris: Halle's hot.
Casino: Are you kidding me? I've had her ass arrested more times than I can count. I tell ya, I should have known that ho was crazy. All the cute ones are.
Paris: I'm not crazy.
Snoop: And you ain't cute either bitch. You got a damn butta face. I'm shocked my boy even dipped his wick with you.
Casino: Drunk.
Paris: Being drunk is hot.
Snoop: Yo man that bitch Maniac be talkin' mad noise bout you and others on TV.
Casino: Yeah I saw...Well...Sorta I feel asleep twice but I read the transcriptions. He calls himself the Lord Of The Ring.
Snoop: What tha %^&$?
Paris: %^&? is hot.
Casino: Be quiet Paris, not only that he said he was the King of Kings!
The men laugh as Paris Hilton looks confused. As always.
Snoop: Yo, I thought the king of kings was a tv show.
Casino: You're thinking of King of Queens. King of Kings is Jesus.
Paris: Jesus is hot.
Snoop: Why Jesus always gotta be white? Maniac racist as well as stupid?
Casino: Probably. Did you see his sob story about his momma getting killed by his dad?
Snoop: Naw man I was at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch gettin' my %^&$ sucked.
Casino: It went like this...BOO HOO my white trash momma who lived on welfare got smoked by my Daddy, slash Uncle, cause she didn't want to walk the streets for him no more! BOO freakin' HOO feel sorry for me!!!
Paris: That was hot.
Snoop: Beotch be quite. Damn.
Casino: He also claimed to be , and I quote - "most unpredictable son of a bitch in the game"
Snoop: He ain't got no damn game.
Casino: He also apparently like to "Hack It" a lot.
Paris: That's hot.
Snoop: He strangles the ferret? That's just wrong.
Casino: Then we just kept on going on and on about the most boring sh*t I ever heard in my life. Hell, his promo was like a love letter to himself.
Paris: Love letters are...
Casino: SHUSH!
Paris: Hot.
Snoop: So what cha' gonna do homes?
Casino raises a glass of wine to his lips and smiles.
Casino: I'm gonna show his stupid ass what being unpredictable is all about.
Snoop: School his ass homie!
Paris: I wanna sandwich.
Both Snoop and Casino glance at each other. To be sure?
Paris: I'm hungry!
Casino: Oh. That kinda...Yeah sure I'll hook your anorectic ass up.
Snoop: Maybe later you can try some chocolate baby.
Paris: Chocolate's hot.
Snoop: Fo' shizzle.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand scene.
- cut to a commercial for the double DVD Maniac promo -
The Bellagio Casino and Resort. One of the biggest and most posh of any of the numerous casinos that line the main drag of Las Vegas. People from around the world fly in just to try their hand with lady luck. Only to walk away in bitter defeat. We find our way to Shintaro, one of the nicer restaurants in the hotel. The Shintaro is an authentic Thai food restaurant that's world famous for their many delicacies. At a private table we find our NAPW Champion Chris Casino sipping a glass of wine. Decked out in a tailor made Armani suit he looks every inch of class. He smiles to us and shows off his brilliant white teeth.
Casino: Welcome. As you can see from looking around I'm enjoying my week off. I consider it a perk of being the best wrestler in the NAPW. If you doubt me, then all you have to do is answer one simple question. Who holds the NAPW Title? Chris Casino baby. The man who has single handily made NAPW a power player in the wrestling industry. Before me, that promotion languished, now it thrives. I find it no coincidence that both D! and his life partner Ravager have all but avoided me since I took the NAPW Title. Maybe they've finally realized that their fifteen minutes of fame has thankfully expired.
Casino takes another sip and runs a hand through his perfectly combed hair.
Casino: Of course there are drawbacks wrestling in Canada. As one would expect. Not only is the talent pool shallow but the fans smell like feet. To say I'm not fond of Canada would be an understatement. But yet, I am forever hearing the same question asked over and over again. 'But Chris' they ask, 'if you hate Canada then why are you here?'
Casino snickers.
Casino: It's because the NAPW paid me to be here you stupid bastards. To all of you ignorant dirty Canadians who are to stupid to understand business this is what happened. Don't worry, I'll go slow and use small words so you can keep up. While I was on a tour in Japan, I received a phone call from some small Canadian promotion that needed some name reorganization. Someone who could bring their company back from the edge of bankruptcy. Hell, D!, Ravager and Mirage were headlining shows! Of course the place was about to close! But then I arrived and saved it. I not only won the NAPW title but I made sure all the ungrateful fans in Canada still had a wrestling promotion to watch.
What what kind of thanks to I get? People boo me. They spit at me. Why? Because I'm better then them. I'll always be better than them. And they damn well know it. I'm in Canada to make NAPW the biggest promotion in the world. Lord knows they're paying me enough to do so. I didn't come to Canada to kiss ass or play by the rules. I came to create noise. Cause havoc. In general, make people tune in to NAPW. Safe to say...I did all of the above. Just listen to all the little bitches in the back complain about me and my tactics. They're all consumed with jealousy.
People also wonder why I've aligned myself with DX, seeing how I generally hate Canadians. That too is simple. Domination. When D! agreed to the cage I knew he had sealed his fate. So I went out and got some muscle. As it stands that episode of me beating D! for the title is STILL one of the highest rated shows in NAPW's history. But do I get any thanks? Nada. I just get morons like Immortal or Predator boring me with weak ass promos as they headline Action. I get retards like "The Don" telling the world that MY title...Will soon be his. Pathetic. Each and every one of them.
Casino orders more wine and sits back in his chair. All around him people are involved in the own private worlds.
Casino: I have an open contract with NAPW. Whoever wants me...Can get me. There isn't a soul alive that I fear. I'm confident that there isn't a person in NAPW or elsewhere that can pin me for the title. So line up you jealous ass bastards, cause I'm about to show you dirty Canadians how to wrestle.
From the crowd we see two figures emerge. Both famous. They take a seat at Chris Casino's table and he welcomes them.
Casino: Snoop Dogg. Paris. Glad you could make it.
Snoop: Fo' Shizzle!
Paris: Yeah this place is hot.
Casino: Hey look Paris...We need to talk. There seems to be a certain tape of us that's popped up on the net. Again.
Snoop:: Yo cuz, I told you not to %^&$ with dem white girls.
Paris: It was stolen. I swear.
Casino: Yeah.
Snoop: You eva get rid of Halle Berry?
Paris: Halle's hot.
Casino: Are you kidding me? I've had her ass arrested more times than I can count. I tell ya, I should have known that ho was crazy. All the cute ones are.
Paris: I'm not crazy.
Snoop: And you ain't cute either bitch. You got a damn butta face. I'm shocked my boy even dipped his wick with you.
Casino: Drunk.
Paris: Being drunk is hot.
Snoop: Yo man that bitch Maniac be talkin' mad noise bout you and others on TV.
Casino: Yeah I saw...Well...Sorta I feel asleep twice but I read the transcriptions. He calls himself the Lord Of The Ring.
Snoop: What tha %^&$?
Paris: %^&? is hot.
Casino: Be quiet Paris, not only that he said he was the King of Kings!
The men laugh as Paris Hilton looks confused. As always.
Snoop: Yo, I thought the king of kings was a tv show.
Casino: You're thinking of King of Queens. King of Kings is Jesus.
Paris: Jesus is hot.
Snoop: Why Jesus always gotta be white? Maniac racist as well as stupid?
Casino: Probably. Did you see his sob story about his momma getting killed by his dad?
Snoop: Naw man I was at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch gettin' my %^&$ sucked.
Casino: It went like this...BOO HOO my white trash momma who lived on welfare got smoked by my Daddy, slash Uncle, cause she didn't want to walk the streets for him no more! BOO freakin' HOO feel sorry for me!!!
Paris: That was hot.
Snoop: Beotch be quite. Damn.
Casino: He also claimed to be , and I quote - "most unpredictable son of a bitch in the game"
Snoop: He ain't got no damn game.
Casino: He also apparently like to "Hack It" a lot.
Paris: That's hot.
Snoop: He strangles the ferret? That's just wrong.
Casino: Then we just kept on going on and on about the most boring sh*t I ever heard in my life. Hell, his promo was like a love letter to himself.
Paris: Love letters are...
Casino: SHUSH!
Paris: Hot.
Snoop: So what cha' gonna do homes?
Casino raises a glass of wine to his lips and smiles.
Casino: I'm gonna show his stupid ass what being unpredictable is all about.
Snoop: School his ass homie!
Paris: I wanna sandwich.
Both Snoop and Casino glance at each other. To be sure?
Paris: I'm hungry!
Casino: Oh. That kinda...Yeah sure I'll hook your anorectic ass up.
Snoop: Maybe later you can try some chocolate baby.
Paris: Chocolate's hot.
Snoop: Fo' shizzle.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand scene.
- cut to a commercial for the double DVD Maniac promo -