Post by "The Moose" Mark Millar on Dec 25, 2005 3:13:14 GMT -5
Alas, my love, you do me wrong,
To cast me off discourteously.
For I have loved you well and long,
Delighting in your company.
He's "The Moose" Mark Millar. He's not doing so well. He's walking along Groat Road, drunk and pissed off.
Without warning he steps into traffic, where a truck swerves to avoid him.
Screaming, he staggers into another lane, and the car coming down swerves into the first lane to avoid him.
A pair of headlights shine bright on Moose and he stands his ground, but the car just gently brakes to a halt, right in front of him. He screams and slams his big fists down on the hood.
Moose: What's wrong with you? Why'd ya slow down?
Driver: Get in the car!
Moose: What?
Driver: Get in the car!
Moose swears loudly, but is too drunk to put up an argument. He walks over to the passenger seat, gets in, and the car takes off.
The driver is a beautiful woman, red hair, winter jacket. She seems a lot calmer than Moose is at the moment.
Woman: Seatbelt.
Moose: Why?
Woman: Seatbelt. If you're going to ride in an automobile you need a seatbelt.
Moose: I don't care about my safety, darlin'.
Woman: If that was true, you would never have gotten in. Seatbelt.
Moose: Doing up his seatbelt. Why'd ya stop?
Woman: Why did you jump out into traffic?
Moose: It's Groat Road and the middle of the night on a holiday.
Woman: That's why I stopped. It's Groat Road and the middle of the night on a holiday. You can never be too careful.
She looks over to see Moose, a full-grown man, break down into sobs.
Moose: You should have hit me!
Woman: Oh, dear. You've had a bit to drink, haven't you?
Moose: Who cares? Who cares a damn bit about me?
Woman: You're being much too hard on yourself, I'll wager.
Moose: Cries. I don't have anything. I've just about lost it all.
Woman: You're looking pretty healthy for a guy who doesn't have anything.
Moose: It's just everything...my job...
Woman: What do you do?
Moose: Well, I work on the oilfields, up north.
Woman: Rig pig, huh? Guys like you get paid a bundle.
Moose: Well, I kinda have this second job...
Woman: You can tell me.
Moose: Grunts. Okay, I'm also a professional wrestler...I work with...
Woman: NAPW! I knew I knew you from somewhere! You're "The Moose" Mark Millar! You worked the first show, I remember!
Moose says nothing.
Woman: "Let's ROCK!". Versus Ravager. I remember you!
Moose still says nothing.
Woman: Wow, I can't believe I'm meeting you!
Moose: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I'm the biggest loser in the company!
Woman: Since when?
Moose: OH I DON'T KNOW. I started off in a match for the Provincial title and then I get NOTHING. I lost to Ravager, an' I lose to Lobo, an' I lose in the Battle Royale, an' I lose to that jerk-off Chris Casino, and HE gets an NAPW title shot out of it.
Woman: Are you bitter because you've never WON?
Moose: The only time I've ever won was because my opponent got jumped in the ring before I could get there. Cries. I'm a joke.
Woman: You're not a joke.
Moose: I AM! EVER'BODY MAKES FUN OF ME! D-X does, and Ravager, and ever'body! It's not fair!
Woman: I thought wrestling involved trash-talking.
Moose: Well, it does, but you see...
Woman: Well, I thought...
Moose: I didn't start off as no JOKE! I'm tougher than tough! I stand for the City of Champions! The Oilers! The Esks! All I ever said I was was a tough son of a bitch that loves his city and can't be put down! Y'unnerstand?
Woman: I understand.
Moose: But ever'body just started chanting for RAVAGER! A guy who beats up innocent people, and lies to his friends, and doesn't give a shit for my city, and only does ever'thing for himself! HE gets people chantin' his name, and I get shit on!
Woman: Moose, I go to NAPW shows. People chant your name.
Moose: But I was supposed to keep lil' creeps from him from winnin' the Provincial title. And instead he gets the fans thinkin' HIS way.
The driver simply listens.
Moose: And now you got wackos like Minstrel with the title, and Chris Casino and his buddies jumpin' D! in the steel cage like that...I don't belong in a place like this, y'know?
Woman: I don't see it that way.
Moose: Yeah, well, it's diff'rnt when you step between them ropes. You leave your heart out there, missy. You leave your heart out there an' you don't always get it back.
Woman: Okay, so quit. Don't kill yourself.
Moose: Sometimes I think one would just lead to the other.
Woman: You can't just work on the rigs and be happy?
Moose: I can work on the rigs, yeah, but...
Woman: You wouldn't be happy.
Moose: No. 'Cuz then I'd be...
Woman: Average.
Moose: Yeah. Sorta like that. Yeah.
Woman: Would that be so bad?
Moose gives her the silent treatment.
Woman: You'd hate it because you'd be giving up on something you love more than life itself.
Moose: You don't know what I think, lady.
Woman: Moose, I keep telling you, I come to NAPW shows. I've seen you wrestle, Moose. I've seen that look in your eyes that says "I'm Gonna Beat Your Ass". I've seen that smile when you come down the ramp.
Moose: Guess I'm through being an optimist, then.
Woman: I see it, and EVERYBODY sees it. And we start chanting "Moose, Moose, Moose"!
Moose: Big deal. 'Cause I'm from Edmonton.
Woman: No. It's because they're behind you.
Moose: Killin' time until the next Static match!
Woman: No, Moose. No.
Moose: I mean, d'you know what the boys in the back call me? "Enhancement talent".
Woman: That sounds positive.
Moose: Trust me, it ain't. I mean, let's face it. I ain't EVER gonna be NAPW champion. I don't got what it takes to be Provincial champion. If I get to be Tag champion it'll be because my partner's carryin' me.
Woman: Negative. So negative. Since when?
Moose: SINCE I GOT NO REASON TO SHOW UP TO WORK, LADY!
Woman: Please don't yell in my car, Moose.
Moose: Well, I'm SORRY, but what's the point of doing what I love when there's NOTHING in it for me?
Woman: I'm sure you can be happy without a title.
Moose: Yeah, if I won a few.
Woman: Well, you might.
Moose: Well, ever'thing always goes wrong for me.
Woman: All right. This has got to stop. She pulls over on a downtown block.
Moose: Now what?
Woman: Moose, try to look at it this way. So you weren't one of the guys who rose immediately to the top. Look at the guys who did. Ravager's messed up. D! keeps going to the hospital. Even that Immortal guy has all sorts of problems.
Moose: That doesn't make me feel any better.
Woman: No, OF COURSE it doesn't! You have a big heart, Moose, and you ALWAYS have! You care about people, and that's why you'll never be a cold, cynical bastard! All of this business, this trash-talking and competing, it doesn't CHANGE you, Moose. You're still the same guy!
Moose looks stunned.
Woman: So maybe you should think about that the next time you head out there.
Moose: So...you really think I'm gonna win my next match?
Woman: Pauses to think. No, I'm not suggesting that.
Moose: THEN WHAT'S THE BIG...
Woman: Calm down. It's not about whether you win or lose, Moose, it's how you play the game.
Moose: Well, that don't make me feel better.
Woman: Sighs. Have you ever thought, Moose, that maybe you just haven't found what it is you're supposed to do in the NAPW?
Moose: What'd'you mean?
Woman: I mean, Moose, that guys like Dragon, Death and Viking got cut. Calgary Connection just quit. But you're a guy who's still employed by the company, which means that you haven't done everything you're meant to do yet.
Moose: What'd'you mean?
Woman: I mean, maybe it IS a tag team you're supposed to join. Or a gimmick match that NAPW hasn't had yet. Or ANYTHING. Why are you assuming that the first THREE MONTHS is any indication of where you're going?
Moose: Still a little drunk. You're smart.
Woman: Smart chicks like wrestling, yeah.
Moose: I think you're actually making sense.
Woman: No problem. Good thing you ran into me...well, you know what I mean.
Moose starts crying again.
Woman: What's wrong? What did I say?
Moose: Oh, no! Ever'body's gonna pick on me 'cause I tried to kill myself!
Woman: Please. How would they know? I won't tell them.
Moose: Ya don't understand...NAPW...cameras alla time...they're gonna find out. They're gonna see this.
Woman: Moose, calm down.
Moose: Oh, God, Casino's gonna be the worst. He's gonna use me to make fun of Edmonton, I just know it. I've made things worse!
Woman: Moose, shh.
Moose stops, holding back his tears.
Woman: Listen, if people are really gonna know about this, what do you think they'll be talking about? The fact that you contemplated suicide? She grabs him by the head and lays one on him. Or the fact that you made out with a hot redhead on Christmas Eve? She kisses him a second time.
Moose: Stops crying and starts blushing. Wow.
Down the block there are a bunch of carollers.
Woman: You need to remember what's important to you, Moose, and it's not a win/loss record. You said yourself you want to mean something to people. So go out there and be with your city.
Moose: Who are you?
Woman: Laughs. A wrestling fan who's running late for dinner.
Moose: C'mon, what's your name?
Woman: Carollers, Moose. Nothing heals the heart up like singing in a group.
Moose: Getting out of the car. Lissen, I'm real sorry about running out in front...
Woman: Don't think twice about it. I get to tell my friends I've kissed Moose Millar!
Moose: Okay, well...thanks. Turns around to leave.
Woman: Moose! He stops. When you come down the ramp...smile for the crowd. I'm gonna be in it.
Moose turns around, but the car turns around squealing and drives out of sight.
Moose: Maybe it's cos I'm drunk...maybe it's cos it's Christmas...but I think I may have just made out with an angel. He walks to the carollers. NAPW in 2006? LET'S ROCK!
Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
And who but my lady greensleeves.
Happy Holidays!
To cast me off discourteously.
For I have loved you well and long,
Delighting in your company.
He's "The Moose" Mark Millar. He's not doing so well. He's walking along Groat Road, drunk and pissed off.
Without warning he steps into traffic, where a truck swerves to avoid him.
Screaming, he staggers into another lane, and the car coming down swerves into the first lane to avoid him.
A pair of headlights shine bright on Moose and he stands his ground, but the car just gently brakes to a halt, right in front of him. He screams and slams his big fists down on the hood.
Moose: What's wrong with you? Why'd ya slow down?
Driver: Get in the car!
Moose: What?
Driver: Get in the car!
Moose swears loudly, but is too drunk to put up an argument. He walks over to the passenger seat, gets in, and the car takes off.
The driver is a beautiful woman, red hair, winter jacket. She seems a lot calmer than Moose is at the moment.
Woman: Seatbelt.
Moose: Why?
Woman: Seatbelt. If you're going to ride in an automobile you need a seatbelt.
Moose: I don't care about my safety, darlin'.
Woman: If that was true, you would never have gotten in. Seatbelt.
Moose: Doing up his seatbelt. Why'd ya stop?
Woman: Why did you jump out into traffic?
Moose: It's Groat Road and the middle of the night on a holiday.
Woman: That's why I stopped. It's Groat Road and the middle of the night on a holiday. You can never be too careful.
She looks over to see Moose, a full-grown man, break down into sobs.
Moose: You should have hit me!
Woman: Oh, dear. You've had a bit to drink, haven't you?
Moose: Who cares? Who cares a damn bit about me?
Woman: You're being much too hard on yourself, I'll wager.
Moose: Cries. I don't have anything. I've just about lost it all.
Woman: You're looking pretty healthy for a guy who doesn't have anything.
Moose: It's just everything...my job...
Woman: What do you do?
Moose: Well, I work on the oilfields, up north.
Woman: Rig pig, huh? Guys like you get paid a bundle.
Moose: Well, I kinda have this second job...
Woman: You can tell me.
Moose: Grunts. Okay, I'm also a professional wrestler...I work with...
Woman: NAPW! I knew I knew you from somewhere! You're "The Moose" Mark Millar! You worked the first show, I remember!
Moose says nothing.
Woman: "Let's ROCK!". Versus Ravager. I remember you!
Moose still says nothing.
Woman: Wow, I can't believe I'm meeting you!
Moose: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I'm the biggest loser in the company!
Woman: Since when?
Moose: OH I DON'T KNOW. I started off in a match for the Provincial title and then I get NOTHING. I lost to Ravager, an' I lose to Lobo, an' I lose in the Battle Royale, an' I lose to that jerk-off Chris Casino, and HE gets an NAPW title shot out of it.
Woman: Are you bitter because you've never WON?
Moose: The only time I've ever won was because my opponent got jumped in the ring before I could get there. Cries. I'm a joke.
Woman: You're not a joke.
Moose: I AM! EVER'BODY MAKES FUN OF ME! D-X does, and Ravager, and ever'body! It's not fair!
Woman: I thought wrestling involved trash-talking.
Moose: Well, it does, but you see...
Woman: Well, I thought...
Moose: I didn't start off as no JOKE! I'm tougher than tough! I stand for the City of Champions! The Oilers! The Esks! All I ever said I was was a tough son of a bitch that loves his city and can't be put down! Y'unnerstand?
Woman: I understand.
Moose: But ever'body just started chanting for RAVAGER! A guy who beats up innocent people, and lies to his friends, and doesn't give a shit for my city, and only does ever'thing for himself! HE gets people chantin' his name, and I get shit on!
Woman: Moose, I go to NAPW shows. People chant your name.
Moose: But I was supposed to keep lil' creeps from him from winnin' the Provincial title. And instead he gets the fans thinkin' HIS way.
The driver simply listens.
Moose: And now you got wackos like Minstrel with the title, and Chris Casino and his buddies jumpin' D! in the steel cage like that...I don't belong in a place like this, y'know?
Woman: I don't see it that way.
Moose: Yeah, well, it's diff'rnt when you step between them ropes. You leave your heart out there, missy. You leave your heart out there an' you don't always get it back.
Woman: Okay, so quit. Don't kill yourself.
Moose: Sometimes I think one would just lead to the other.
Woman: You can't just work on the rigs and be happy?
Moose: I can work on the rigs, yeah, but...
Woman: You wouldn't be happy.
Moose: No. 'Cuz then I'd be...
Woman: Average.
Moose: Yeah. Sorta like that. Yeah.
Woman: Would that be so bad?
Moose gives her the silent treatment.
Woman: You'd hate it because you'd be giving up on something you love more than life itself.
Moose: You don't know what I think, lady.
Woman: Moose, I keep telling you, I come to NAPW shows. I've seen you wrestle, Moose. I've seen that look in your eyes that says "I'm Gonna Beat Your Ass". I've seen that smile when you come down the ramp.
Moose: Guess I'm through being an optimist, then.
Woman: I see it, and EVERYBODY sees it. And we start chanting "Moose, Moose, Moose"!
Moose: Big deal. 'Cause I'm from Edmonton.
Woman: No. It's because they're behind you.
Moose: Killin' time until the next Static match!
Woman: No, Moose. No.
Moose: I mean, d'you know what the boys in the back call me? "Enhancement talent".
Woman: That sounds positive.
Moose: Trust me, it ain't. I mean, let's face it. I ain't EVER gonna be NAPW champion. I don't got what it takes to be Provincial champion. If I get to be Tag champion it'll be because my partner's carryin' me.
Woman: Negative. So negative. Since when?
Moose: SINCE I GOT NO REASON TO SHOW UP TO WORK, LADY!
Woman: Please don't yell in my car, Moose.
Moose: Well, I'm SORRY, but what's the point of doing what I love when there's NOTHING in it for me?
Woman: I'm sure you can be happy without a title.
Moose: Yeah, if I won a few.
Woman: Well, you might.
Moose: Well, ever'thing always goes wrong for me.
Woman: All right. This has got to stop. She pulls over on a downtown block.
Moose: Now what?
Woman: Moose, try to look at it this way. So you weren't one of the guys who rose immediately to the top. Look at the guys who did. Ravager's messed up. D! keeps going to the hospital. Even that Immortal guy has all sorts of problems.
Moose: That doesn't make me feel any better.
Woman: No, OF COURSE it doesn't! You have a big heart, Moose, and you ALWAYS have! You care about people, and that's why you'll never be a cold, cynical bastard! All of this business, this trash-talking and competing, it doesn't CHANGE you, Moose. You're still the same guy!
Moose looks stunned.
Woman: So maybe you should think about that the next time you head out there.
Moose: So...you really think I'm gonna win my next match?
Woman: Pauses to think. No, I'm not suggesting that.
Moose: THEN WHAT'S THE BIG...
Woman: Calm down. It's not about whether you win or lose, Moose, it's how you play the game.
Moose: Well, that don't make me feel better.
Woman: Sighs. Have you ever thought, Moose, that maybe you just haven't found what it is you're supposed to do in the NAPW?
Moose: What'd'you mean?
Woman: I mean, Moose, that guys like Dragon, Death and Viking got cut. Calgary Connection just quit. But you're a guy who's still employed by the company, which means that you haven't done everything you're meant to do yet.
Moose: What'd'you mean?
Woman: I mean, maybe it IS a tag team you're supposed to join. Or a gimmick match that NAPW hasn't had yet. Or ANYTHING. Why are you assuming that the first THREE MONTHS is any indication of where you're going?
Moose: Still a little drunk. You're smart.
Woman: Smart chicks like wrestling, yeah.
Moose: I think you're actually making sense.
Woman: No problem. Good thing you ran into me...well, you know what I mean.
Moose starts crying again.
Woman: What's wrong? What did I say?
Moose: Oh, no! Ever'body's gonna pick on me 'cause I tried to kill myself!
Woman: Please. How would they know? I won't tell them.
Moose: Ya don't understand...NAPW...cameras alla time...they're gonna find out. They're gonna see this.
Woman: Moose, calm down.
Moose: Oh, God, Casino's gonna be the worst. He's gonna use me to make fun of Edmonton, I just know it. I've made things worse!
Woman: Moose, shh.
Moose stops, holding back his tears.
Woman: Listen, if people are really gonna know about this, what do you think they'll be talking about? The fact that you contemplated suicide? She grabs him by the head and lays one on him. Or the fact that you made out with a hot redhead on Christmas Eve? She kisses him a second time.
Moose: Stops crying and starts blushing. Wow.
Down the block there are a bunch of carollers.
Woman: You need to remember what's important to you, Moose, and it's not a win/loss record. You said yourself you want to mean something to people. So go out there and be with your city.
Moose: Who are you?
Woman: Laughs. A wrestling fan who's running late for dinner.
Moose: C'mon, what's your name?
Woman: Carollers, Moose. Nothing heals the heart up like singing in a group.
Moose: Getting out of the car. Lissen, I'm real sorry about running out in front...
Woman: Don't think twice about it. I get to tell my friends I've kissed Moose Millar!
Moose: Okay, well...thanks. Turns around to leave.
Woman: Moose! He stops. When you come down the ramp...smile for the crowd. I'm gonna be in it.
Moose turns around, but the car turns around squealing and drives out of sight.
Moose: Maybe it's cos I'm drunk...maybe it's cos it's Christmas...but I think I may have just made out with an angel. He walks to the carollers. NAPW in 2006? LET'S ROCK!
Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
And who but my lady greensleeves.
Happy Holidays!