Post by Chris Casino on Dec 24, 2005 0:16:48 GMT -5
- Las Vegas -
Inside the Desert Springs Karaoke Bar & Grill we find our hero Chris Casino in his element. He's onstage with the spotlight shinning down on him, just as it should be. He's decked out in a "I Hate Dirty Canadians" tee shirt and blue jeans that show off his rockin' ass to the ladies. He takes the microphone and flashes the crowd a smile that would make any used car salesman envious.
Casino: Welcome to my Pre - Christmas Blast!!
The crowd whoop it up as Casino claps along with them.
Casino: As you know, I recently went to Canada....
Tourist: CANADA SUCKS!!!
Casino: Yeah no sh*t, anyway I recently made my way to Canada and without much effort I easily became the new NAPW World Champion!
Again the crowd goes crazy with drunken glee.
Casino: I beat a man named D! for the title.
The crowd grows silent. We overhear someone whisper - "who the hell is that?"
Casino: EXACTLY!! Outside of Canada D! is a complete mystery to even the most ardent wrestling fan. Actually, even in Canada most people give you a blank stare when you mention the name D!. Come to think of it...NAPW is filled with people no one has ever heard of before. But don't fear...With me as their champion, NAPW can finally be proud to run shows. Hell, with D! out of the picture they'll even start to turn a profit.
The mention of money in Vegas makes the crowd go wild. Casino waits for the 150 people crammed into the Bar to grow silent before he speaks again.
Casino: But...Since I'm such a cool cat. I want D! to know that he'll always have a place in MY promotion. Usually in the opening match of any Action show.
The crowd laughs, who doesn't love Chris Casino?
Casino: D!...This is for you buddy.
With that the music starts and the crowd starts to cheer and clap along with Casino. He strikes a rocker pose and belts out new lyrics to an oldie but goodie.
Casino: (singing to the tune of Suspicious Minds by Elvis Presley)
D! got caught in a trap
He didn't walk out
Because I kicked his ass baby
Why didn't he see
He could never beat me
The truth hurts wouldn't you say?
D! can't continue wrestling
With a delusional mind
And he can’t reach his dreams
On a delusional mind
So, D! just drop to your knees and blow
That's the way Canadians say hello
You don't really think that you'll beat me?
Here we go again
A boring ass Ravager promo begins
How can’t you see how retarded that fool can be?
But unlike D! he's trying
D! can't go on wrestling
With a delusional mind
And he can't reach his dreams
On a delusional mind
Oh let D! survive
I can already see the tears in his eyes
Let’s not let a good mid carder go to waste
Casino ends the song and gets a standing ovation. From the crowd Terry Brandon steps up onto the stage and hands Casino the redesigned NAPW World Heavyweight Title. The face place has an image of the US flag and all the lettering is in Red White & Blue. Casino holds the belt over his head and the crowd goes bananas.
Casino: Let me say that I'll defend this belt against any freak show that NAPW throws at me! Technique? I'll whip his DJ failure ass. Ravager? Hell, he broke his hand by playing with his trouser snake too much. Minstrel? Another Misery copycat. Rex Caliber? Sorry, he ain't in MY caliber. D!? Anytime, anywhere bitch.
Brandon: Tell 'em kid!
Casino: And as far as the newcomers to NAPW goes...Take a look at greatness you insignificant no talent havin' bitches. I am the end all...Be all in NAPW. I am...YOUR World Champion!!
The crowd starts up a drunken "Casino" chant as the champ looks on.
- Cut to a commercial for Action! Yup it's still on air! -
Inside the Desert Springs Karaoke Bar & Grill we find our hero Chris Casino in his element. He's onstage with the spotlight shinning down on him, just as it should be. He's decked out in a "I Hate Dirty Canadians" tee shirt and blue jeans that show off his rockin' ass to the ladies. He takes the microphone and flashes the crowd a smile that would make any used car salesman envious.
Casino: Welcome to my Pre - Christmas Blast!!
The crowd whoop it up as Casino claps along with them.
Casino: As you know, I recently went to Canada....
Tourist: CANADA SUCKS!!!
Casino: Yeah no sh*t, anyway I recently made my way to Canada and without much effort I easily became the new NAPW World Champion!
Again the crowd goes crazy with drunken glee.
Casino: I beat a man named D! for the title.
The crowd grows silent. We overhear someone whisper - "who the hell is that?"
Casino: EXACTLY!! Outside of Canada D! is a complete mystery to even the most ardent wrestling fan. Actually, even in Canada most people give you a blank stare when you mention the name D!. Come to think of it...NAPW is filled with people no one has ever heard of before. But don't fear...With me as their champion, NAPW can finally be proud to run shows. Hell, with D! out of the picture they'll even start to turn a profit.
The mention of money in Vegas makes the crowd go wild. Casino waits for the 150 people crammed into the Bar to grow silent before he speaks again.
Casino: But...Since I'm such a cool cat. I want D! to know that he'll always have a place in MY promotion. Usually in the opening match of any Action show.
The crowd laughs, who doesn't love Chris Casino?
Casino: D!...This is for you buddy.
With that the music starts and the crowd starts to cheer and clap along with Casino. He strikes a rocker pose and belts out new lyrics to an oldie but goodie.
Casino: (singing to the tune of Suspicious Minds by Elvis Presley)
D! got caught in a trap
He didn't walk out
Because I kicked his ass baby
Why didn't he see
He could never beat me
The truth hurts wouldn't you say?
D! can't continue wrestling
With a delusional mind
And he can’t reach his dreams
On a delusional mind
So, D! just drop to your knees and blow
That's the way Canadians say hello
You don't really think that you'll beat me?
Here we go again
A boring ass Ravager promo begins
How can’t you see how retarded that fool can be?
But unlike D! he's trying
D! can't go on wrestling
With a delusional mind
And he can't reach his dreams
On a delusional mind
Oh let D! survive
I can already see the tears in his eyes
Let’s not let a good mid carder go to waste
Casino ends the song and gets a standing ovation. From the crowd Terry Brandon steps up onto the stage and hands Casino the redesigned NAPW World Heavyweight Title. The face place has an image of the US flag and all the lettering is in Red White & Blue. Casino holds the belt over his head and the crowd goes bananas.
Casino: Let me say that I'll defend this belt against any freak show that NAPW throws at me! Technique? I'll whip his DJ failure ass. Ravager? Hell, he broke his hand by playing with his trouser snake too much. Minstrel? Another Misery copycat. Rex Caliber? Sorry, he ain't in MY caliber. D!? Anytime, anywhere bitch.
Brandon: Tell 'em kid!
Casino: And as far as the newcomers to NAPW goes...Take a look at greatness you insignificant no talent havin' bitches. I am the end all...Be all in NAPW. I am...YOUR World Champion!!
The crowd starts up a drunken "Casino" chant as the champ looks on.
- Cut to a commercial for Action! Yup it's still on air! -