Post by maniac on Dec 24, 2005 0:11:34 GMT -5
[It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.]
[For New Alberta Pro Wrestling, Christmas has come several days early. Yes, the rumours are indeed true. The legendary global superstar himself, Maniac, has signed a lucrative deal with NAPW. He makes his debut on January 2nd, a date that NAPW executives are looking forward to with great anticipation.]
[And here we are, in the mountains of Banff, Alberta. We fade into a distant view of Sulphur Mountain. The scenery really is breathtaking. But upon closer inspection, we appear to be here for a reason altogether different than enjoying the view. We zoom into the mountainside. A dirt path, pine trees scattered around the surrounding area. Snow melts along the edges of the path. Footsteps. The sound of earth crunching beneath feet. We pan around.]
[The early moonlight illuminates the scene. It also creats a backshadow, preventing us from seeing the face of the silhouetted man standing before us. Long, jet black hair flows in the breeze. A light flurry of snow blows off the mountain and into our picture. The man steps forward, revealing himself.]
[He's here.]
[Maniac. An umpteen time champion of the world. A man who has gone to war with the biggest names in the business. And he is here, in Banff, Alberta, about to make his on screen debut with NAPW.]
[Clad in a black leather jacket, blue jeans, and casual style cowboy boots, his eyes contain the wisdom of a grizzled veteran, and an intensity unmatched by any man. He looks around him, soaking in the scenery, enjoying nature, and looking down on the world from the mountain side. Yes, you are correct to assume that is symbolism at its cheesiest.]
[With his back to the camera now, we see the city lights from the beautiful city of Banff far below. He speaks, his hair blowing in the wind as he does.]
MANIAC: Alberta. Home of the Canadian rockies. Earth the way God meant for it to be. Dare I say the most perfect place on this planet. But as great as it is, it's always been missing one thing.
[He turns around and faces the camera now, the city below to his back.]
MANIAC: A legendary name to plaster on the welcome sign.
Fear not, because I've come to save the day. Before long, the sign will read "Welcome to Banff, Alberta - Home of wrestling legend, Maniac."
People from all over the world will flock in to catch a glimse of my new home. While here, they will discover the beauty that is Canada, and develop a new appreciation for this amazing country. All thanks to me.
[He grins arrogantly.]
MANIAC: But let's get down to business. The controversy surrounding me at the moment is no doubt awe inspiring to you little peons in NAPW. I'm a global superstar. I've been dubbed the most unpredictable son of a bitch in the game, the Lord of the Ring, the King of Kings! I scratch my balls and make the front page of every major newspaper. What can I say? I've earned it.
So you can imagine the press NAPW has received all week once they got me signed. You ain't seen nothin' yet. I haven't even set foot in one of your rings yet.
But let's start from the top. Why on earth would a man of my stature, my calibre, my fame, pass up on the opportunity to continue main eventing global pay-per-views, square off against the best competition in the world, and compete in title matches for the most prestigious championships in wrestling? Simple. I've been there. I've done that. I've sold out arenas in Canada, the United States, the United Kingdom, Australia, Brazil, Mexico, Italy, Spain, Japan, China...hell, just about every European country worthy of staging a wrestling event. I've held titles that NAPW superstars couldn't even dream of contending for, and I've defended them in the most gruesome battles this world has ever seen.
But through it all, I always missed home. Canada.
So when Pro Championship Wrestling proved to me that they weren't worth another second of my time, I filed for my release, hopped on a plane to Edmonton, and didn't look back. I knew that this is where I wanted to be, this is the place I wanted to help put on the map, this is the organization I wanted to carry to the promised land.
I have arrived. And so it begins.
[He chuckles softly under his breath - visible in the cold mountain air.]
MANIAC: And my first victim? Some poor bastard named Axle Jaxx. I can't figure out of he's named after a cereal, or if he's some kind of Guns 'N Roses reject. Regardless, he's sure as hell not in my league...I mean I grew up in Toronto. He's from Baby Toronto, better known as Vancouver. A city so desperate for attention that it constantly pisses and moans about Toronto being the center of the universe. Clearly, all of its inhabitants wish it was Vancouver that was blessed with that label. But alas, it's not. And on January 2nd, Monday Night Fights, I'm gonna show you why Torontonians do it better.
Don't get me wrong...me kicking your ass up and down Edmonton will have nothing to do with me being from Toronto. But it's a little bit of salt I can rub in the gaping wound I'm going to open on your oversized head. See, I know how you Vancouver hippies roll...you're coming to Edmonton looking to jingle my bells, if you know what I mean. You sick freak. But me? I'm fixing to deck your halls and roast your nuts over an open fire. Your desperate cries for help, you obnoxiously loud pleas for mercy, and your screams of agony will ensure that it will be anything but a silent night.
[He smirks. And then, it happens.]
[He flips a switch in his head and the smirk disappears. It is replaced by a glare so intense it could burn a hole right through your television set.]
[He grabs the camera and pulls it in close to his face, speaking ina voice so grim it sends chills down the spine of anyone within earshot.]
MANIAC: You wanna know the truth, Axle? I came here to dominate. I came here to bust heads and take out the pent up frustration that comes with two years of retirement followed by a return that keeps on getting stalled by organizations filing for bankrupty, jerkoff promoters, and family related issues. I'm here to kick ass and teach you amateur punks in the locker room what it means to be a champion. You happen to be the unfortunate bastard who steps foot in the ring with me first. Normally I'd tell you that you should be honoured. But this time is different. This time it's my NAPW debut. That means I have to send a message. I have to make it crystal clear to every son of a bitch on that roster that I am not a man to underestimate, not a man to take lightly. They say the only thing to fear is fear itself...I AM FEAR. You shouldn't be honoured; you should be downright crapping your pants and doing everything you can to get out of the match.
[He shoves the camera away, his arrogant grin returning.]
MANIAC: And by the way, Axle...Merry Christmas.
[He laughs...dare I say maniacally? No, that would be too easy.]
MANIAC: New Alberta Pro Wrestling. My new home. The new war zone for the Lord of the Ring, the King of Kings, the most unpredictable son of a bitch in the game.
And you can bet your ass I'm not on Santa's "nice" list.
Prepare for the ride of your lives. Prepare to be educated. But more importantly...
Prepare to be victimized.
January 2nd, it begins. And 2006 will be a banner year for the wrestling scene in Edmonton, Alberta.
And you'll have me to thank.
[With that, he walks off. The path leads upward, to the top of the mountain. Looks like that's exactly where he's headed.]
[Scene fades to black.]
[For New Alberta Pro Wrestling, Christmas has come several days early. Yes, the rumours are indeed true. The legendary global superstar himself, Maniac, has signed a lucrative deal with NAPW. He makes his debut on January 2nd, a date that NAPW executives are looking forward to with great anticipation.]
[And here we are, in the mountains of Banff, Alberta. We fade into a distant view of Sulphur Mountain. The scenery really is breathtaking. But upon closer inspection, we appear to be here for a reason altogether different than enjoying the view. We zoom into the mountainside. A dirt path, pine trees scattered around the surrounding area. Snow melts along the edges of the path. Footsteps. The sound of earth crunching beneath feet. We pan around.]
[The early moonlight illuminates the scene. It also creats a backshadow, preventing us from seeing the face of the silhouetted man standing before us. Long, jet black hair flows in the breeze. A light flurry of snow blows off the mountain and into our picture. The man steps forward, revealing himself.]
[He's here.]
[Maniac. An umpteen time champion of the world. A man who has gone to war with the biggest names in the business. And he is here, in Banff, Alberta, about to make his on screen debut with NAPW.]
[Clad in a black leather jacket, blue jeans, and casual style cowboy boots, his eyes contain the wisdom of a grizzled veteran, and an intensity unmatched by any man. He looks around him, soaking in the scenery, enjoying nature, and looking down on the world from the mountain side. Yes, you are correct to assume that is symbolism at its cheesiest.]
[With his back to the camera now, we see the city lights from the beautiful city of Banff far below. He speaks, his hair blowing in the wind as he does.]
MANIAC: Alberta. Home of the Canadian rockies. Earth the way God meant for it to be. Dare I say the most perfect place on this planet. But as great as it is, it's always been missing one thing.
[He turns around and faces the camera now, the city below to his back.]
MANIAC: A legendary name to plaster on the welcome sign.
Fear not, because I've come to save the day. Before long, the sign will read "Welcome to Banff, Alberta - Home of wrestling legend, Maniac."
People from all over the world will flock in to catch a glimse of my new home. While here, they will discover the beauty that is Canada, and develop a new appreciation for this amazing country. All thanks to me.
[He grins arrogantly.]
MANIAC: But let's get down to business. The controversy surrounding me at the moment is no doubt awe inspiring to you little peons in NAPW. I'm a global superstar. I've been dubbed the most unpredictable son of a bitch in the game, the Lord of the Ring, the King of Kings! I scratch my balls and make the front page of every major newspaper. What can I say? I've earned it.
So you can imagine the press NAPW has received all week once they got me signed. You ain't seen nothin' yet. I haven't even set foot in one of your rings yet.
But let's start from the top. Why on earth would a man of my stature, my calibre, my fame, pass up on the opportunity to continue main eventing global pay-per-views, square off against the best competition in the world, and compete in title matches for the most prestigious championships in wrestling? Simple. I've been there. I've done that. I've sold out arenas in Canada, the United States, the United Kingdom, Australia, Brazil, Mexico, Italy, Spain, Japan, China...hell, just about every European country worthy of staging a wrestling event. I've held titles that NAPW superstars couldn't even dream of contending for, and I've defended them in the most gruesome battles this world has ever seen.
But through it all, I always missed home. Canada.
So when Pro Championship Wrestling proved to me that they weren't worth another second of my time, I filed for my release, hopped on a plane to Edmonton, and didn't look back. I knew that this is where I wanted to be, this is the place I wanted to help put on the map, this is the organization I wanted to carry to the promised land.
I have arrived. And so it begins.
[He chuckles softly under his breath - visible in the cold mountain air.]
MANIAC: And my first victim? Some poor bastard named Axle Jaxx. I can't figure out of he's named after a cereal, or if he's some kind of Guns 'N Roses reject. Regardless, he's sure as hell not in my league...I mean I grew up in Toronto. He's from Baby Toronto, better known as Vancouver. A city so desperate for attention that it constantly pisses and moans about Toronto being the center of the universe. Clearly, all of its inhabitants wish it was Vancouver that was blessed with that label. But alas, it's not. And on January 2nd, Monday Night Fights, I'm gonna show you why Torontonians do it better.
Don't get me wrong...me kicking your ass up and down Edmonton will have nothing to do with me being from Toronto. But it's a little bit of salt I can rub in the gaping wound I'm going to open on your oversized head. See, I know how you Vancouver hippies roll...you're coming to Edmonton looking to jingle my bells, if you know what I mean. You sick freak. But me? I'm fixing to deck your halls and roast your nuts over an open fire. Your desperate cries for help, you obnoxiously loud pleas for mercy, and your screams of agony will ensure that it will be anything but a silent night.
[He smirks. And then, it happens.]
[He flips a switch in his head and the smirk disappears. It is replaced by a glare so intense it could burn a hole right through your television set.]
[He grabs the camera and pulls it in close to his face, speaking ina voice so grim it sends chills down the spine of anyone within earshot.]
MANIAC: You wanna know the truth, Axle? I came here to dominate. I came here to bust heads and take out the pent up frustration that comes with two years of retirement followed by a return that keeps on getting stalled by organizations filing for bankrupty, jerkoff promoters, and family related issues. I'm here to kick ass and teach you amateur punks in the locker room what it means to be a champion. You happen to be the unfortunate bastard who steps foot in the ring with me first. Normally I'd tell you that you should be honoured. But this time is different. This time it's my NAPW debut. That means I have to send a message. I have to make it crystal clear to every son of a bitch on that roster that I am not a man to underestimate, not a man to take lightly. They say the only thing to fear is fear itself...I AM FEAR. You shouldn't be honoured; you should be downright crapping your pants and doing everything you can to get out of the match.
[He shoves the camera away, his arrogant grin returning.]
MANIAC: And by the way, Axle...Merry Christmas.
[He laughs...dare I say maniacally? No, that would be too easy.]
MANIAC: New Alberta Pro Wrestling. My new home. The new war zone for the Lord of the Ring, the King of Kings, the most unpredictable son of a bitch in the game.
And you can bet your ass I'm not on Santa's "nice" list.
Prepare for the ride of your lives. Prepare to be educated. But more importantly...
Prepare to be victimized.
January 2nd, it begins. And 2006 will be a banner year for the wrestling scene in Edmonton, Alberta.
And you'll have me to thank.
[With that, he walks off. The path leads upward, to the top of the mountain. Looks like that's exactly where he's headed.]
[Scene fades to black.]