Post by terrybrandon on Dec 23, 2005 1:41:34 GMT -5
BILL McNEIL: It's 11 pm Friday night, and what's the best thing to do? That's right, morons, you're going to watch LATE NIGHT WITH BILL MCNEIL! Tonight, my very special guest, my good friend...the esteemed Terry Brandon!
[Cue the mid-eighties sounding Letterman show knock-off band playing the jazz-type jazz with cheap intro montage of the wrestling world's famous manager/booker/commissioner/commentator/reportercome-lately BILL MCNEIL. Starwipe! to Bill McNeil at his desk with "LATE NIGHT WITH BILL MCNEIL" coffee cup. McNeil's tapping a pencil on the desk, completely out of time with the music. To his right in a comfy chair is none other than the manager of Chris Casino, hair slicked back and suit pressed. Of course, near his feet? The SILVER BRIEFCASE.]
[DUH DUH DUHNNNNN!]
BILL MCNEIL: Welcome, welcome, Raul! Stop the music, you're terrible! Here's fifty bucks, go take some music lessons!
[The band leader, a hispanic fellow who looks very much Raul, scowls. Back to McNeil.]
BILL McNEIL: Look at that mug. Terry, you ever seen a mug like that on a man?
TERRY BRANDON: Not since Jack Attack and I spent three days in a New Mexico prison cell for mass endangerment of endangered species with an illegal...well, I probably shouldn't talk about that!
BILL McNEIL: Than let's talk about the events of Monday Night Fights! I touched on it in my column, and I'll reiterate here: Chris Casino. D-X. Terry Brandon. I want to be the first one to publicly say "Terry Brandon, Nobody Could've Done It Better!" But what the world wants to know --- exactly what is the relationship between you and the members of D-X?
TERRY BRANDON: Well I'd like to say thanks for the adulation, applause, praise, congratulations that you have offered me. I am the greatest mind in the wrestling business today, and that's why I'm managing a talent like YOUR new NAPW Champion Chris Casino... and yes, that is also why I am managing a great team like The New & Improved D-X!
BILL MCNEIL: Stylin' Kyle & The Beast have been on a losing streak lately... why now?
TERRY BRANDON: The only reason Stylin' Kyle & The Beast have been on a losing streak is because the NAPW is full of criminals and cheats, just looking to strip hard-working wrestlers of their titles for politics! When Tiffany assaulted Coach Gordon Jago, one of the finest trainers I've had the pleasure of meeting I might add, was there a disqualification?
BILL MCNEIL: I sure didn't see one!
TERRY BRANDON: Exactly! Now Coach Jago is a fine trainer, but just a little out of his depth as a MANAGER. And that's where I come in, enter the picture, become a part of the story with D-X! It took one phone call, The Beast to myself, and a deal was made. The New & Improved D-X are even more New & IMproved if such a thing could happen! With my mind guiding their incredible talent, I guarantee you that the tag team gold will be around their waists once again! In fact, I can give you a date! January 2nd, 2006! D-X become TWO TIME NAPW Champions, and they won't lose them again until they WANT to. And they won't ever want to, so they'll never lose the titles again, since they'll never want to!
BILL MCNEIL: COuldn't have said it better myself, Terry. Now, Terry: D!. Is he out for good? What happens if he returns?
TERRY BRANDON: IF D! returns and IF D! steps into the ring with my man, THE FUTURE Chris Casino again, there's only one thing that'll happen, and that is the same thing that happened to him already, which is that he will once again have that thing happen to him! And that thing is feeling the combined wrath of the modern day rat pack, the elite in professional wrestling, the three studs of NAPW... Stylin' Kyle Richards! Bruce "The Beast" Roberts! The NAPW Champion Chris Casino! But you know, since I am the greatest mind in professional wrestling today, I've got plan after plan. And if D! arrives, don't you worry. Right in here? (lifts the briefcase to his lap and pats it.) I've got all the plans and continengcy Casino & D-X will ever need! And that includes one letter real loud making a re-appearance! Bill McNeil, you're talking about the Future of Professional Wrestling TODAY when you talk about D-X & Casino! And it's a bright future indeed!
BILL MCNEIL: Terry Brandon, you are truly an eloquent man. Morons in the NAPW, listen up: In my important opinion, with Terry Brandon helming the careers of D-X and Chris Casino, there ain't nobody who can knock Casino & D-X off their championship thrones! And THAT'S the McNeil Perspective! Take us out, Raul!
[Cheesy music begins again, and McNeil does a shuffle-dance in his seat as Terry Brandon slicks his hair back.]
Permission granted from Bill McNeil
[Cue the mid-eighties sounding Letterman show knock-off band playing the jazz-type jazz with cheap intro montage of the wrestling world's famous manager/booker/commissioner/commentator/reportercome-lately BILL MCNEIL. Starwipe! to Bill McNeil at his desk with "LATE NIGHT WITH BILL MCNEIL" coffee cup. McNeil's tapping a pencil on the desk, completely out of time with the music. To his right in a comfy chair is none other than the manager of Chris Casino, hair slicked back and suit pressed. Of course, near his feet? The SILVER BRIEFCASE.]
[DUH DUH DUHNNNNN!]
BILL MCNEIL: Welcome, welcome, Raul! Stop the music, you're terrible! Here's fifty bucks, go take some music lessons!
[The band leader, a hispanic fellow who looks very much Raul, scowls. Back to McNeil.]
BILL McNEIL: Look at that mug. Terry, you ever seen a mug like that on a man?
TERRY BRANDON: Not since Jack Attack and I spent three days in a New Mexico prison cell for mass endangerment of endangered species with an illegal...well, I probably shouldn't talk about that!
BILL McNEIL: Than let's talk about the events of Monday Night Fights! I touched on it in my column, and I'll reiterate here: Chris Casino. D-X. Terry Brandon. I want to be the first one to publicly say "Terry Brandon, Nobody Could've Done It Better!" But what the world wants to know --- exactly what is the relationship between you and the members of D-X?
TERRY BRANDON: Well I'd like to say thanks for the adulation, applause, praise, congratulations that you have offered me. I am the greatest mind in the wrestling business today, and that's why I'm managing a talent like YOUR new NAPW Champion Chris Casino... and yes, that is also why I am managing a great team like The New & Improved D-X!
BILL MCNEIL: Stylin' Kyle & The Beast have been on a losing streak lately... why now?
TERRY BRANDON: The only reason Stylin' Kyle & The Beast have been on a losing streak is because the NAPW is full of criminals and cheats, just looking to strip hard-working wrestlers of their titles for politics! When Tiffany assaulted Coach Gordon Jago, one of the finest trainers I've had the pleasure of meeting I might add, was there a disqualification?
BILL MCNEIL: I sure didn't see one!
TERRY BRANDON: Exactly! Now Coach Jago is a fine trainer, but just a little out of his depth as a MANAGER. And that's where I come in, enter the picture, become a part of the story with D-X! It took one phone call, The Beast to myself, and a deal was made. The New & Improved D-X are even more New & IMproved if such a thing could happen! With my mind guiding their incredible talent, I guarantee you that the tag team gold will be around their waists once again! In fact, I can give you a date! January 2nd, 2006! D-X become TWO TIME NAPW Champions, and they won't lose them again until they WANT to. And they won't ever want to, so they'll never lose the titles again, since they'll never want to!
BILL MCNEIL: COuldn't have said it better myself, Terry. Now, Terry: D!. Is he out for good? What happens if he returns?
TERRY BRANDON: IF D! returns and IF D! steps into the ring with my man, THE FUTURE Chris Casino again, there's only one thing that'll happen, and that is the same thing that happened to him already, which is that he will once again have that thing happen to him! And that thing is feeling the combined wrath of the modern day rat pack, the elite in professional wrestling, the three studs of NAPW... Stylin' Kyle Richards! Bruce "The Beast" Roberts! The NAPW Champion Chris Casino! But you know, since I am the greatest mind in professional wrestling today, I've got plan after plan. And if D! arrives, don't you worry. Right in here? (lifts the briefcase to his lap and pats it.) I've got all the plans and continengcy Casino & D-X will ever need! And that includes one letter real loud making a re-appearance! Bill McNeil, you're talking about the Future of Professional Wrestling TODAY when you talk about D-X & Casino! And it's a bright future indeed!
BILL MCNEIL: Terry Brandon, you are truly an eloquent man. Morons in the NAPW, listen up: In my important opinion, with Terry Brandon helming the careers of D-X and Chris Casino, there ain't nobody who can knock Casino & D-X off their championship thrones! And THAT'S the McNeil Perspective! Take us out, Raul!
[Cheesy music begins again, and McNeil does a shuffle-dance in his seat as Terry Brandon slicks his hair back.]
Permission granted from Bill McNeil