Funny for the week...

[immortal]

.My Dog Named Sex

Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Lassie. I called mine Sex. Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said "I would like to have one too" then I said "but this is a dog" He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said "but you don't understand I have had Sex since I was 9 years old. He replied that I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for me and my wife and a separate room for Sex. He said every room in this place is for sex. I said "you don't understand. Sex keeps me awake all night" and the clerk replied "me too".

I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I could have sold tickets for that "but you don't understand, I hope to have Sex on T.V." He called me a Show off.

When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said "Your honor I had sex before we were married". The judge said "me too". Then I told him that after we were married sex left me. He replied "me too".

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around for him. A cop came over and asked me "What are you doing wandering around the alley at 4 am for?" I replied "I am looking for Sex" My case comes up in court on Friday.

[Stylin' Kyle Roberts [REBEL]]

That seems like a confusing name for a dog if it gets you into THAT many awkward situations.

[immortal]

jago said:

That seems like a confusing name for a dog if it gets you into THAT many awkward situations.

dude, u R a funny sunuva-- (cut by uncontrolable laughter)

[Jacob]

Religion Class.

One day in Religion, Suzy fell asleep in her desk. The teacher called on her while she was still asleep and asked, "Who created the universe?"
Having said nothing, Billy -- who sat behind Suzy -- poked her with a pen and she leaped up and screamed, "GOD ALMIGHTY!"
"Very good," the teacher said. Suzy fell asleep again. This time the teacher called on her and asked, "Who is our savior, God's son?"
Billy poked her again, but harder, and she yelled, "JESUS CHRIST!"
"Very good," the teacher said.

(this is funny!)

This time the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after they had the twenty-seventh child?"
Billy poked Suzy rather hard and she screamed, "IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF!!"

The Teacher fainted. ;D

[Static]

you can't teach religion in school!

[Jacob]

static said:

you can't teach religion in school!

you can in a Catholic School. ;D



- Jacob

[Jacob]

>>Driving the Pope
>>
>>
>>
>>After getting Pope Benedict's entire luggage loaded into the limo, (and he

>>doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still
>>standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver,"
>>Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
>>
>>
>>
>>"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive
>>at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.
>>
>>
>>
>>"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job!
>>And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd
>>never gone to work that morning.
>>
>>
>>
>>"Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it for
>>you," says the Pope with a smile.
>>
>>
>>
>>Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the
>>wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the
>>airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph...
>>(Remember, he's a German Pope.)
>>
>>
>>
>>"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the
>>Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
>>
>>
>>
>>"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license -- and my job!" moans the driver.

>>The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but
>>the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on
>>the radio.
>>
>>
>>
>>"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
>>
>>
>>
>>The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo

>>going a hundred and five.
>>
>>
>>
>>"So bust him," says the Chief.
>>
>>
>>
>>"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.
>>
>>
>>
>>The Chief exclaimed,"! All the more reason!"
>>
>>
>>
>>"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence.
>>
>>
>>
>>The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
>>
>>
>>
>>Cop: "Bigger."
>>
>>
>>
>>Chief:" Governor?"
>>
>>
>>
>>Cop: "Bigger."
>>
>>
>>
>>"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Cop: "I think it's God!"
>>
>>
>>
>>The Chief is even more puzzled and curious: "What makes you think it's
>>
>>God?"
>>
>>
>>
>>Cop: "He's got the Pope as a chauffeur."