Post by Donovan Astros on May 4, 2007 10:07:31 GMT -5
We'd fade in, but it's dark. Pitch black. We can hear a very familiar voice cutting through the darkness, however...
How could you, Donovan?
How could you insult a family caring for their sick little brother?
How could you ask a six foot nine, 289 pound monster with no sense of regret or remorse to single out that family's valet in an every person for themselves battle royal?
How could you walk into their turf in North Carolina and insult everyone and everything they believe in?
What kind of a man are you, Donovan?
The loud click of a light bulb being turned on pierces the scene. Standing, illuminated now by that light bulb, is Donovan Astros, still nursing a swollen eye at the hands of "The Show" Chad Kurtis from last week's REBEL show.
ASTROS - What kind of man am I, NAPW? I'm the kind of man that does all this.
Scratch cut to the closing seconds of Astros's debut match at The Last Resort against Jake Phoenix and Diablo.
But here's Donovan Astros, wrapping his arm through the legs of Jake Phoenix, taking advantage of the damage done to the leg of his opponent, Phoenix is flipped onto his side, shoulders on the mat. One! Two! He's got the tights! THREE! Astros slides out of the ring in a quick motion, as an exhausted Phoenix looks around frantically, trying to decipher what just happened.
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner! DOOONNNOVAAANNN AAAAASSSSTRRROOOOOS![/b]
Scratch cut to Astros and Phoenix at Unified against the Calgary Connection.
The Hatchet crashes to the ring, then desperately tries to regain his footing... but Phoenix catches him! He sets him up for the Tombstone! The Hatchet goes up! Donovan Astros smacks Phoenix on the shoulder! The Hatchet goes down! Talk about burying the Hatchet! Phoenix covers with authority!
And Morgan Smythe just waves it off, shaking her head!
BILL HEWSON: Wait a minute --- Astros tagged himself in while Phoenix had Hatchet in the air! Astros is the legal man, not Jake Phoenix!
Jake Phoenix's face turns red and he angrily bellows at Smythe to count, but she shakes her head no and indicates that he's not the legal man. Phoenix wheels around to his corner but Astros isn't there! Donovan Astros is in the ring, baby! He pulls the pretty much done Hatchet to his feet, hooks up his arms... ASTROCIDE! But The Fixer is on his feet! He staggers toward the ring as Astros covers! One! Two! FIXER... is TOO LATE! THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners... DONOVAN ASTROS and "The Career Killer" JAKE! PHOENIX!
Cut to footage from REBEL's Ladder to Success last week.
Amidst the boos, one fan yells out "Go The F*ck Home!!"
ASTROS: Trust me, I'd love to go home, but apparently this REBEL Pro Wrestling has some... open business next week. An open battle royal where the winner gets a shot at the REBEL Heavyweight Title! And as much as I know you'd like one of your beloved REBEL misfits to come out here and give me my comeuppance, the only way you're going to see me wrestle is if you go, buy a ticket...
Astros pauses, letting the boos continue to soak in...
ASTROS: And hop on a plane to Edmonton, Alberta, Canada to watch me wrestle in 2 weeks! I'm not gonna be wrestling in some open battle royal in a dingy hole somewhere in the armpit of America, and there's two reasons why! One, quite frankly, I'm too good and too talented to have to fight my way through God knows how many people to get title shots, they should be HANDED to me.
Cut to REBEL video footage from earlier this week.
ASTROS - I would like you to do me one favor this Tuesday night, though, Jake. There's one person in this battle royal that I'd like to see suffer, see hurt, see sacrificed for what some of their associates have done to me. Save 'em for last. Jake, and I'll make it worth your while.
Astros slides the piece of paper over to Jake.
PHOENIX - Yeah? Who could be that import-
Phoenix catches a glimpse of the photo, and stops dead in his tracks. He slowly removes his Oakleys, and stares at the photo... as a sadistic grin spreads on his face.
PHOENIX - Yeah... yeah, I think I can do that. Don't you worry, Donnie - I'll treat 'em REAL good in there. REAL good.
Phoenix chuckles - a bonechilling chuckle - as he grips the photo tightly, crinkling it somewhat, before releasing and letting it float to the ground. Astros laughs along with Phoenix as Phoenix shoves the cameraman down and they walk away. The video continues, though, as the cameraman lands to get a perfect shot of the crumpled up photo on the floor...
The photo of Lyndsey Valentine.
And scratch cut back to the bulb-illuminated room. There is no coy cockiness or smug little smirk on Astros's face. The look is one of pure, unadulterated hatred.
ASTROS - I'm the man that does all this to one little family out of Paducah, Kentucky! Chad, a few weeks back you called me your evil twin, and I bet even then you couldn't even dream of what you had unleashed on yourself, on Matthew, and on Lyndsey Valentine! Cause Chad, we're not two sides of the same coin. We're not mirror images.
Astros shakes his head.
ASTROS - Chad, Jake Phoenix and I do what you wish you could, but never can. In six short weeks since you called us out, unprovoked, we've gotten into your heads. Bluegrass Mafia, we've taken your focus, your killer instinct, your drive to succeed. Chad, you choked away the Provincial title against Lloyd Rees. Matthew, you were barely existent in the Ladder to Success for the Carolinas title in REBEL. This week you'll fail just as miserable for the REBEL Tag Team titles... and Lyndsey...
Astros stops for a moment, letting things sink in.
ASTROS - Lyndsey, Lyndsey, Lyndsey, you put on a great little act, not being scared, trying to deflect the attention onto your big, bad boyfriend Matthew, but remember this... I don't know what makes KRENSHOV tick, but I do know what makes Jake Phoenix tick. Jake Phoenix lives to hurt people and get paid for it. He's not called the Career Killer for nothing, Lyndsey Valentine! And this Tuesday, he wants to snuff out a rough, tough Kentucky girl's dreams... not of being the REBEL champion, no...
Another pause.
ASTROS - Of continuing her wrestling CAREER. Kurtis boys! I ain't a hard man to find! May 15, Polish Hall, Edmonton, Alberta, 4 on 4, NAPW vs. REBEL, my name's already on the dotted line with 3 other people that are better than you! May 22, Tagstravaganza II, where Jake Phoenix and I will become the next NAPW Tag Team Champions! May 29, I'll be there too, so if you boys get the twigs and berries together to step into the ring with the best damn wrestler on God's green Earth, if you get the gall and the courage to finally look eye to eye with the face of greatness, I'll be waiting!
Astros clicks the light back off as we go dark once again.
ASTROS - Of course, it's just as likely you'll have another loved one to tend to in the hospital before this is all said and done...
Scratch cut... to the next promo. We're done here.
How could you, Donovan?
How could you insult a family caring for their sick little brother?
How could you ask a six foot nine, 289 pound monster with no sense of regret or remorse to single out that family's valet in an every person for themselves battle royal?
How could you walk into their turf in North Carolina and insult everyone and everything they believe in?
What kind of a man are you, Donovan?
The loud click of a light bulb being turned on pierces the scene. Standing, illuminated now by that light bulb, is Donovan Astros, still nursing a swollen eye at the hands of "The Show" Chad Kurtis from last week's REBEL show.
ASTROS - What kind of man am I, NAPW? I'm the kind of man that does all this.
Scratch cut to the closing seconds of Astros's debut match at The Last Resort against Jake Phoenix and Diablo.
But here's Donovan Astros, wrapping his arm through the legs of Jake Phoenix, taking advantage of the damage done to the leg of his opponent, Phoenix is flipped onto his side, shoulders on the mat. One! Two! He's got the tights! THREE! Astros slides out of the ring in a quick motion, as an exhausted Phoenix looks around frantically, trying to decipher what just happened.
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner! DOOONNNOVAAANNN AAAAASSSSTRRROOOOOS![/b]
Scratch cut to Astros and Phoenix at Unified against the Calgary Connection.
The Hatchet crashes to the ring, then desperately tries to regain his footing... but Phoenix catches him! He sets him up for the Tombstone! The Hatchet goes up! Donovan Astros smacks Phoenix on the shoulder! The Hatchet goes down! Talk about burying the Hatchet! Phoenix covers with authority!
And Morgan Smythe just waves it off, shaking her head!
BILL HEWSON: Wait a minute --- Astros tagged himself in while Phoenix had Hatchet in the air! Astros is the legal man, not Jake Phoenix!
Jake Phoenix's face turns red and he angrily bellows at Smythe to count, but she shakes her head no and indicates that he's not the legal man. Phoenix wheels around to his corner but Astros isn't there! Donovan Astros is in the ring, baby! He pulls the pretty much done Hatchet to his feet, hooks up his arms... ASTROCIDE! But The Fixer is on his feet! He staggers toward the ring as Astros covers! One! Two! FIXER... is TOO LATE! THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners... DONOVAN ASTROS and "The Career Killer" JAKE! PHOENIX!
Cut to footage from REBEL's Ladder to Success last week.
Amidst the boos, one fan yells out "Go The F*ck Home!!"
ASTROS: Trust me, I'd love to go home, but apparently this REBEL Pro Wrestling has some... open business next week. An open battle royal where the winner gets a shot at the REBEL Heavyweight Title! And as much as I know you'd like one of your beloved REBEL misfits to come out here and give me my comeuppance, the only way you're going to see me wrestle is if you go, buy a ticket...
Astros pauses, letting the boos continue to soak in...
ASTROS: And hop on a plane to Edmonton, Alberta, Canada to watch me wrestle in 2 weeks! I'm not gonna be wrestling in some open battle royal in a dingy hole somewhere in the armpit of America, and there's two reasons why! One, quite frankly, I'm too good and too talented to have to fight my way through God knows how many people to get title shots, they should be HANDED to me.
Cut to REBEL video footage from earlier this week.
ASTROS - I would like you to do me one favor this Tuesday night, though, Jake. There's one person in this battle royal that I'd like to see suffer, see hurt, see sacrificed for what some of their associates have done to me. Save 'em for last. Jake, and I'll make it worth your while.
Astros slides the piece of paper over to Jake.
PHOENIX - Yeah? Who could be that import-
Phoenix catches a glimpse of the photo, and stops dead in his tracks. He slowly removes his Oakleys, and stares at the photo... as a sadistic grin spreads on his face.
PHOENIX - Yeah... yeah, I think I can do that. Don't you worry, Donnie - I'll treat 'em REAL good in there. REAL good.
Phoenix chuckles - a bonechilling chuckle - as he grips the photo tightly, crinkling it somewhat, before releasing and letting it float to the ground. Astros laughs along with Phoenix as Phoenix shoves the cameraman down and they walk away. The video continues, though, as the cameraman lands to get a perfect shot of the crumpled up photo on the floor...
The photo of Lyndsey Valentine.
And scratch cut back to the bulb-illuminated room. There is no coy cockiness or smug little smirk on Astros's face. The look is one of pure, unadulterated hatred.
ASTROS - I'm the man that does all this to one little family out of Paducah, Kentucky! Chad, a few weeks back you called me your evil twin, and I bet even then you couldn't even dream of what you had unleashed on yourself, on Matthew, and on Lyndsey Valentine! Cause Chad, we're not two sides of the same coin. We're not mirror images.
Astros shakes his head.
ASTROS - Chad, Jake Phoenix and I do what you wish you could, but never can. In six short weeks since you called us out, unprovoked, we've gotten into your heads. Bluegrass Mafia, we've taken your focus, your killer instinct, your drive to succeed. Chad, you choked away the Provincial title against Lloyd Rees. Matthew, you were barely existent in the Ladder to Success for the Carolinas title in REBEL. This week you'll fail just as miserable for the REBEL Tag Team titles... and Lyndsey...
Astros stops for a moment, letting things sink in.
ASTROS - Lyndsey, Lyndsey, Lyndsey, you put on a great little act, not being scared, trying to deflect the attention onto your big, bad boyfriend Matthew, but remember this... I don't know what makes KRENSHOV tick, but I do know what makes Jake Phoenix tick. Jake Phoenix lives to hurt people and get paid for it. He's not called the Career Killer for nothing, Lyndsey Valentine! And this Tuesday, he wants to snuff out a rough, tough Kentucky girl's dreams... not of being the REBEL champion, no...
Another pause.
ASTROS - Of continuing her wrestling CAREER. Kurtis boys! I ain't a hard man to find! May 15, Polish Hall, Edmonton, Alberta, 4 on 4, NAPW vs. REBEL, my name's already on the dotted line with 3 other people that are better than you! May 22, Tagstravaganza II, where Jake Phoenix and I will become the next NAPW Tag Team Champions! May 29, I'll be there too, so if you boys get the twigs and berries together to step into the ring with the best damn wrestler on God's green Earth, if you get the gall and the courage to finally look eye to eye with the face of greatness, I'll be waiting!
Astros clicks the light back off as we go dark once again.
ASTROS - Of course, it's just as likely you'll have another loved one to tend to in the hospital before this is all said and done...
Scratch cut... to the next promo. We're done here.