Post by diablo on Apr 21, 2007 0:44:32 GMT -5
[The black screen suddenly fills with flame]
[Female Voice Over] And this is what the Devil does...
GAMBLER: And then there was two!
LAMPLEY: Scott Mercutio and Diablo are the last two in the ring!
GAMBLER: One of these two is gonna be the champ!
LAMPLEY: Mercutio and Diablo in the middle of the ring, they're
trashtalking..
GAMBLER: Hey, there's no friends in this battle royal...they've gotta put it
aside and forget gX and go for that gold!
LAMPLEY: Mercutio shoves Diablo..Diablo shoves back!
GAMBLER: YEAH!
LAMPLEY: Mercutio and Diablo still talking..Mercutio shakes Diablo's
hand...still friends, after this...
GAMBLER: YES!
LAMPLEY: DIABLO ENZUIGIRIED MERCUTIO FROM BEHIND! MERCUTIO INTO THE
ROPES..AND DIABLO DUMPS HIM! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! DIABLO IS THE
UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
DOUGLAS: Ladies and gentlemen..the WINNER..of BATTLEBOWL..and the
*UNDISPUTED* PRO-CONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING UNITED STATES
HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION..."DIAAAAAAAAAAAABLO"
[The screen melts with more flame]
[Female V.O.] And this is what the Devil Does...
LAMPLEY: Sherman Lake shoved the croquet mallet into the ring, but Diablo
has it! but...he isn't going after P2K! He's going after Deuce!
GAMBLER: Mercutio just said something! He just shouted "Finish it!" and look
at Requiem!
LAMPLEY: OH MY GOD! gX is turning on Dude Deuce! One of its founders!
Diablo's got the mallet up and looks like he's gonna break it over Deuce's
back! Requiem pulls Lake off the apron and takes him down with a savate
kick! Diablo has the mallet up...but Deuce catches it!
GAMBLER: Deuce doesn't look like he wants to be double-crossed! And
Mercutio's just smiling! Is this all a plan? Where's Kris Stone?
LAMPELY: Both Deuce and Diablo are holding the mallet, neither are letting
go...Diablo drops, and monkeyflips Deuce...ONTO GREG ELLIS! FRANKENSTEINER!
ELLIS IS DOWN! Now....Deuce irish whips Diablo.....Deuce bounces off the
opposite ropes...X-TREME DEVASTATION!
GAMBLER: Deuce nailed Dustin Fong with a clothesline while Diablo speared
him from behind! This is how Mercutio and Deuce won numerous titles in other
companies!
LAMPLEY: Deuce is covering Dustin, Diablo is outside the ring with
Ellis...The ref's down and counting!
1!!!!
2!!!!
3!!!!
NEW CHAMPIONS! NEW CHAMPIONS!
DOUGLAS: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winners....and NEW PCCW WORLD TAG TEAM
CHAMPIONS....Dude Deuce....Diablo....GENERATION...X-TREME!!!!
[The screen melts again with flame]
[Female V.O.] And this is what the Devil does...
[The screen fades into a smirking Diablo]
Diablo: April 17th.. a day that will forever be remembered in NAPW history.
3 debuting men entered the ring... One left the winner.. one left the loser..
and then there was me. Hell.. I must have done something right.. because I am
booked to be in a match for a title shot. This is alot like waiting in line.. to
wait in a line.. I'll get to that match and my opponents.. in a moment
[Diablo pauses for a moment and takes a drink of his sweet, sweet Guinness]
Diablo: The footage I just showed all of NAPW was a warning. I've run with the big
dogs.. and won. I did everything I had to.. just to win.. consequences be damned.
Winning that US strap broke up a friendship. But who cares. I did what was necessary.
In order to do what is necessary, you need to have smarts. With power.. who needs friends?
[Diablo is looking to his left and his right then looks right back into the camera]
Diablo: Let's just get one thing straight here. I am the only one here that can take this
small Mickey Mouse operation to the big time. I've been there before, I know it can happen.
And the ultimate winner is me. Now.. let's see... I am "wrasslin" against Stone Zellor and
Fatso Sazuki. Let's leave the best for last.. so that means I'll be speaking to you first,
Stone.
[The screen switches to Stone Zellor's drunken rambling]
Stone:
Diablo, the man not involved in a pin fall decision - he gets the number one Contendership match ...
Bob, I gots to say, I feel a little robbed this week. Whatever Winchell or Calibre was smokin' when
they decided on this match, it has a little anti-Stone feel to it. I beat Matty Kurtis fair and square
in the middle of that ring. I didn't sit on the sideline and I didn't win by DQ; but I gots to follow
the same path as these guys? All for a shot at Lloyd Rees?
[The screen switches back to Diablo]
Diablo: Stone... when you gaze upon greatness.. jealousy is expected. Obviously, Winchell and Calibre
believe that you haven't quite proven yourself against the right person, which obviously is me. Beating
some little punk cleanly doesn't prove shite. I can go outside this hotel room and beat up one of the
bellmen.. but it wouldn't prove a thing, and would most likely end up with me in a cell.. And as for
you feeling like it's anti-Stone, you haven't felt anything yet. You're going to wish I never came to
this God-forsaken hellhole as .. Calgary.
[Diablo grins for a moment]
Diablo: And then there was.. Fasto. Did anyone understand a word he slurred in that last promo?
It made no sense at all. I tried hiring the best linguists out there, and they all gave up in a
hurry. So then I remembered that Snoop Dogg talked something like that, and sent him a copy and
a politely worded letter with some green stuff included. He never got back to me, so he must
be still laughing at whatever Fatso said. Let me replay some of his babbling.
[The screen switches to Fatso's wonderful words of wisdom]
Fatso: Awwww shizznit son! I make my own self laugh that's how funny I be yo. But ya, Check it
homeslices and G-Funks of tha wrestlin wizzzorld, Fatso Sazuki musta did done somethin right ya
feel me, cause NAPIZZZLLLEEEEE-W thought ya boy was the dopest, the flyest, the illest, the
realist,baddest mammajamma in all of the world cause they said:
"Hey yo, Fatso. Ya got a match next week."
Then check it, I was just like:
"Word up gmoney, who im wrestlin?"
NAPizzzlllleeeee-W said:
"You is wrestlin dat whackamuhass Stone Zellor and that wikiwikiwikistoopid Diablo for a chance
at some P-Gold ya feel me?"
Then ya boy, dat Fatty-boom-ba-latty, Fatso told em:
"Aight, sounds like ima have me a little bit of fun-in-da-canadian-sun playa!"
And that's what's goin down this time 'round. Ya boy is takin on dat spiked collar wearin,
wack-ass-wit-no-class, My-brotha-left-me-so-I-gotta-bring-in-a-girl-named-bubbles Stone Zellor
and Mr.Ima-call-myself-the-devil,when I ain't nothin but a broke back half sack idiot, DIABLLLLOOOOO.
Well boys, lemme tell ya a little something..
[The screen switches back to Diablo.. who currently has a confused look on his face]
Diablo: How could I ever respond to such words of wisdom like this? Really? How do I? There is only
one way. In the ring. April 24th. Fatso, Stone.. just remember.. all your little words and whining
don't mean a damn thing when your shoulders are on the mat and you hear the ref count 3. And one of
you.. will be the one pinned. Both of you.. will face something you never have before, and never will.
For this is what the Devil does..
[The screen fades as Diablo laughs manaically]
[Female Voice Over] And this is what the Devil does...
GAMBLER: And then there was two!
LAMPLEY: Scott Mercutio and Diablo are the last two in the ring!
GAMBLER: One of these two is gonna be the champ!
LAMPLEY: Mercutio and Diablo in the middle of the ring, they're
trashtalking..
GAMBLER: Hey, there's no friends in this battle royal...they've gotta put it
aside and forget gX and go for that gold!
LAMPLEY: Mercutio shoves Diablo..Diablo shoves back!
GAMBLER: YEAH!
LAMPLEY: Mercutio and Diablo still talking..Mercutio shakes Diablo's
hand...still friends, after this...
GAMBLER: YES!
LAMPLEY: DIABLO ENZUIGIRIED MERCUTIO FROM BEHIND! MERCUTIO INTO THE
ROPES..AND DIABLO DUMPS HIM! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! DIABLO IS THE
UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
DOUGLAS: Ladies and gentlemen..the WINNER..of BATTLEBOWL..and the
*UNDISPUTED* PRO-CONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING UNITED STATES
HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION..."DIAAAAAAAAAAAABLO"
[The screen melts with more flame]
[Female V.O.] And this is what the Devil Does...
LAMPLEY: Sherman Lake shoved the croquet mallet into the ring, but Diablo
has it! but...he isn't going after P2K! He's going after Deuce!
GAMBLER: Mercutio just said something! He just shouted "Finish it!" and look
at Requiem!
LAMPLEY: OH MY GOD! gX is turning on Dude Deuce! One of its founders!
Diablo's got the mallet up and looks like he's gonna break it over Deuce's
back! Requiem pulls Lake off the apron and takes him down with a savate
kick! Diablo has the mallet up...but Deuce catches it!
GAMBLER: Deuce doesn't look like he wants to be double-crossed! And
Mercutio's just smiling! Is this all a plan? Where's Kris Stone?
LAMPELY: Both Deuce and Diablo are holding the mallet, neither are letting
go...Diablo drops, and monkeyflips Deuce...ONTO GREG ELLIS! FRANKENSTEINER!
ELLIS IS DOWN! Now....Deuce irish whips Diablo.....Deuce bounces off the
opposite ropes...X-TREME DEVASTATION!
GAMBLER: Deuce nailed Dustin Fong with a clothesline while Diablo speared
him from behind! This is how Mercutio and Deuce won numerous titles in other
companies!
LAMPLEY: Deuce is covering Dustin, Diablo is outside the ring with
Ellis...The ref's down and counting!
1!!!!
2!!!!
3!!!!
NEW CHAMPIONS! NEW CHAMPIONS!
DOUGLAS: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winners....and NEW PCCW WORLD TAG TEAM
CHAMPIONS....Dude Deuce....Diablo....GENERATION...X-TREME!!!!
[The screen melts again with flame]
[Female V.O.] And this is what the Devil does...
[The screen fades into a smirking Diablo]
Diablo: April 17th.. a day that will forever be remembered in NAPW history.
3 debuting men entered the ring... One left the winner.. one left the loser..
and then there was me. Hell.. I must have done something right.. because I am
booked to be in a match for a title shot. This is alot like waiting in line.. to
wait in a line.. I'll get to that match and my opponents.. in a moment
[Diablo pauses for a moment and takes a drink of his sweet, sweet Guinness]
Diablo: The footage I just showed all of NAPW was a warning. I've run with the big
dogs.. and won. I did everything I had to.. just to win.. consequences be damned.
Winning that US strap broke up a friendship. But who cares. I did what was necessary.
In order to do what is necessary, you need to have smarts. With power.. who needs friends?
[Diablo is looking to his left and his right then looks right back into the camera]
Diablo: Let's just get one thing straight here. I am the only one here that can take this
small Mickey Mouse operation to the big time. I've been there before, I know it can happen.
And the ultimate winner is me. Now.. let's see... I am "wrasslin" against Stone Zellor and
Fatso Sazuki. Let's leave the best for last.. so that means I'll be speaking to you first,
Stone.
[The screen switches to Stone Zellor's drunken rambling]
Stone:
Diablo, the man not involved in a pin fall decision - he gets the number one Contendership match ...
Bob, I gots to say, I feel a little robbed this week. Whatever Winchell or Calibre was smokin' when
they decided on this match, it has a little anti-Stone feel to it. I beat Matty Kurtis fair and square
in the middle of that ring. I didn't sit on the sideline and I didn't win by DQ; but I gots to follow
the same path as these guys? All for a shot at Lloyd Rees?
[The screen switches back to Diablo]
Diablo: Stone... when you gaze upon greatness.. jealousy is expected. Obviously, Winchell and Calibre
believe that you haven't quite proven yourself against the right person, which obviously is me. Beating
some little punk cleanly doesn't prove shite. I can go outside this hotel room and beat up one of the
bellmen.. but it wouldn't prove a thing, and would most likely end up with me in a cell.. And as for
you feeling like it's anti-Stone, you haven't felt anything yet. You're going to wish I never came to
this God-forsaken hellhole as .. Calgary.
[Diablo grins for a moment]
Diablo: And then there was.. Fasto. Did anyone understand a word he slurred in that last promo?
It made no sense at all. I tried hiring the best linguists out there, and they all gave up in a
hurry. So then I remembered that Snoop Dogg talked something like that, and sent him a copy and
a politely worded letter with some green stuff included. He never got back to me, so he must
be still laughing at whatever Fatso said. Let me replay some of his babbling.
[The screen switches to Fatso's wonderful words of wisdom]
Fatso: Awwww shizznit son! I make my own self laugh that's how funny I be yo. But ya, Check it
homeslices and G-Funks of tha wrestlin wizzzorld, Fatso Sazuki musta did done somethin right ya
feel me, cause NAPIZZZLLLEEEEE-W thought ya boy was the dopest, the flyest, the illest, the
realist,baddest mammajamma in all of the world cause they said:
"Hey yo, Fatso. Ya got a match next week."
Then check it, I was just like:
"Word up gmoney, who im wrestlin?"
NAPizzzlllleeeee-W said:
"You is wrestlin dat whackamuhass Stone Zellor and that wikiwikiwikistoopid Diablo for a chance
at some P-Gold ya feel me?"
Then ya boy, dat Fatty-boom-ba-latty, Fatso told em:
"Aight, sounds like ima have me a little bit of fun-in-da-canadian-sun playa!"
And that's what's goin down this time 'round. Ya boy is takin on dat spiked collar wearin,
wack-ass-wit-no-class, My-brotha-left-me-so-I-gotta-bring-in-a-girl-named-bubbles Stone Zellor
and Mr.Ima-call-myself-the-devil,when I ain't nothin but a broke back half sack idiot, DIABLLLLOOOOO.
Well boys, lemme tell ya a little something..
[The screen switches back to Diablo.. who currently has a confused look on his face]
Diablo: How could I ever respond to such words of wisdom like this? Really? How do I? There is only
one way. In the ring. April 24th. Fatso, Stone.. just remember.. all your little words and whining
don't mean a damn thing when your shoulders are on the mat and you hear the ref count 3. And one of
you.. will be the one pinned. Both of you.. will face something you never have before, and never will.
For this is what the Devil does..
[The screen fades as Diablo laughs manaically]