Post by Stone Zellor on Apr 19, 2007 8:57:28 GMT -5
[The scene opens, like so many before it ... Wait, no. This scene opens somewhere relatively new. A quiet drinking hole in Calgary. For you see, Stone has travelled early this week. He's got to get in the cardio training that his local gym just doesn't offer; in order to go toe-to-toe-to-toe with both the Devil and the Behemoth]
[With his wooden panels lining the walls around him, Stone is sitting on a bench covered by a green fabric with a half-pint of beer in front of him. "Half-pint?" asked the bartender. "I'm kinda working" replied Stone. It wasn't until both Bubbles and NAPW's seldom seen interviewer, Bob entered the bar that the bartender grew wide eyed. At Bubbles, no-one else. Damn those micro skirts are teasing]
Bob:
It's nice to actually meet you indoors for once, Stone.
Bubbles:
He's turning over a new leaf.
Stone:
Sure.
[Stone raises his hand and the bartender starts making a couple of drinks]
Bubbles:
I'm trying to get him to expand his horizons. We've been to the theatre, the cinema, long walks in the park. He even listened to a Millencolin album.
Stone:
And I'm ditchin' the 'Zellor-Mobile' for a motorbike...
Bubbles:
It reminds you of your brother--
Stone:
Half-brother!
[He says snappily]
Bob:
Well, that's all good to hear. And it seems to be working for you after that impressive victory against Matthew Kurtis.
Stone:
Impressive?
Bubbles:
He is much bigger than you, Stone.
Stone:
I know, I ain't stupid. But I needs to know what match you was watching, Bob - 'cause I was hella unimpressive. I got manhandled for most of that match. If I get my ass kicked around the ring by Diablo this week, but roll him up with a schoolboy - will that be impressive?
[But before Bob can reply, the bartender comes over with a tequila sunrise in one hand and a Molson Exel in the other. He places them on the table before walking away]
Bob:
Well, no.
Stone:
Like I thought. I wanted that match to be great, but the dumb bastard, Matthew Kurtis had to try and drag me down to his level. I ain't no brawler, I don't fare too well in scraps, peeps.
Bob:
How do you feel about your opponents this week? Fatso Sazuki, who got the "W" over Krenshov. The Chinamerican Behemoth, who, is somewhat of a lucha libre performer. And Diablo, the larger, more experienced ring technician. And a fine technician at that.
[Pause]
Bubbles:
Oh, he's confident. This is 'Dynamite' Stone Zellor you're talking to!
Stone:
B, Bob knows me better than that.
Bob:
It's true, I do.
Stone:
But, ya know, I can do it. I'm the man who took The New & Improved D-X down. Who sent The Celtic Assassins runnin' to REBEL Pro ... Well, to the costume shop and then to REBEL.
Bob:
Stone, those were both--
[Stone glares at Bob, who responds by dropping what he was about to say. I'm sure he knows not to mention The Midnight Cowboys to Stone]
Bob:
So, your thoughts on your opponents.
Bubbles:
Excuse me, guys. I need the little girls room.
[Bubbles stands up, adjusting her skirt as most of the men in the bar at least glance in her direction. She heads towards the bathroom, leaving Stone and Bob at the table with their drinks]
Stone:
As I said, Bob, I ain't no idiot. I know these men are good - except Fatso. I know these men are talented in the ring - except Fatso. I ain't about to run down the talent of my opponents, when they deserve some respect - except Fatso, he don't deserve shit. The guy's victory over Krenshov was less emphatic than when I knocked that overgrown fat ass over the top rope a few months ago. That kid, the 'fly guy' or whatever he calls himself is one step away from a hospital bed after the beat down he received on Tuesday, but he still gets a number one contendership match. Diablo, the man not involved in a pin fall decision - he gets the number one contendership match ... Bob, I gots to say, I feel a little robbed this week. Whatever Winchell or Calibre was smokin' when they decided on this match, it has a little anti-Stone feel to it. I beat Matty Kurtis fair and square in the middle of that ring. I didn't sit on the sideline and I didn't win by DQ; but I gots to follow the same path as these guys? All for a shot at Lloyd Rees?
Bob:
Stone, you have to admit that despite not being involved in the pin fall decision, Diablo did earn his 'props' in his NAPW debut.
Stone:
I ain't got to admit nothin'.
Bob:
And I hear Fatso Sazuki is recovering quickly.
Stone:
I don't care, Bobby.
Bob:
So what you're saying is...
Stone:
I'm goin' in on Tuesday night, to "Unified" as the only deserving man in that match. Ravager versus Casino, whatever. Tag title match and Simply Beautiful against Bruce 'The Bitch' ... Sure. If I was against any of those men, those eight men, I'd give one-hundred-and-ten percent. As it is, I ain't got to. I gots enough skillz in one hand to wipe the floor with these guys, so hopefully it don't rub off on them when I pimp slap them back to a time when people gave a damn about them!
Bubbles:
Okay, I'm back. What did I miss?
[Oh, Bubbles has returned from the bathroom]
Stone:
Bob was just leavin', B.
Bubbles:
Oh, really? Well it was nice to meet you, Bob.
Bob:
Likewise. I'll see you two at the show, I'm sure.
Stone:
Sure.
[So, Bob leaves with half a glass of Molson Exel still on the table. Rude bastard]
Bubbles:
I need to get a manicure this afternoon, do you want to join me?
[Whoa, lets leave it there! The scene comes to an end with a prompt, yet traditional fade to black]
[With his wooden panels lining the walls around him, Stone is sitting on a bench covered by a green fabric with a half-pint of beer in front of him. "Half-pint?" asked the bartender. "I'm kinda working" replied Stone. It wasn't until both Bubbles and NAPW's seldom seen interviewer, Bob entered the bar that the bartender grew wide eyed. At Bubbles, no-one else. Damn those micro skirts are teasing]
Bob:
It's nice to actually meet you indoors for once, Stone.
Bubbles:
He's turning over a new leaf.
Stone:
Sure.
[Stone raises his hand and the bartender starts making a couple of drinks]
Bubbles:
I'm trying to get him to expand his horizons. We've been to the theatre, the cinema, long walks in the park. He even listened to a Millencolin album.
Stone:
And I'm ditchin' the 'Zellor-Mobile' for a motorbike...
Bubbles:
It reminds you of your brother--
Stone:
Half-brother!
[He says snappily]
Bob:
Well, that's all good to hear. And it seems to be working for you after that impressive victory against Matthew Kurtis.
Stone:
Impressive?
Bubbles:
He is much bigger than you, Stone.
Stone:
I know, I ain't stupid. But I needs to know what match you was watching, Bob - 'cause I was hella unimpressive. I got manhandled for most of that match. If I get my ass kicked around the ring by Diablo this week, but roll him up with a schoolboy - will that be impressive?
[But before Bob can reply, the bartender comes over with a tequila sunrise in one hand and a Molson Exel in the other. He places them on the table before walking away]
Bob:
Well, no.
Stone:
Like I thought. I wanted that match to be great, but the dumb bastard, Matthew Kurtis had to try and drag me down to his level. I ain't no brawler, I don't fare too well in scraps, peeps.
Bob:
How do you feel about your opponents this week? Fatso Sazuki, who got the "W" over Krenshov. The Chinamerican Behemoth, who, is somewhat of a lucha libre performer. And Diablo, the larger, more experienced ring technician. And a fine technician at that.
[Pause]
Bubbles:
Oh, he's confident. This is 'Dynamite' Stone Zellor you're talking to!
Stone:
B, Bob knows me better than that.
Bob:
It's true, I do.
Stone:
But, ya know, I can do it. I'm the man who took The New & Improved D-X down. Who sent The Celtic Assassins runnin' to REBEL Pro ... Well, to the costume shop and then to REBEL.
Bob:
Stone, those were both--
[Stone glares at Bob, who responds by dropping what he was about to say. I'm sure he knows not to mention The Midnight Cowboys to Stone]
Bob:
So, your thoughts on your opponents.
Bubbles:
Excuse me, guys. I need the little girls room.
[Bubbles stands up, adjusting her skirt as most of the men in the bar at least glance in her direction. She heads towards the bathroom, leaving Stone and Bob at the table with their drinks]
Stone:
As I said, Bob, I ain't no idiot. I know these men are good - except Fatso. I know these men are talented in the ring - except Fatso. I ain't about to run down the talent of my opponents, when they deserve some respect - except Fatso, he don't deserve shit. The guy's victory over Krenshov was less emphatic than when I knocked that overgrown fat ass over the top rope a few months ago. That kid, the 'fly guy' or whatever he calls himself is one step away from a hospital bed after the beat down he received on Tuesday, but he still gets a number one contendership match. Diablo, the man not involved in a pin fall decision - he gets the number one contendership match ... Bob, I gots to say, I feel a little robbed this week. Whatever Winchell or Calibre was smokin' when they decided on this match, it has a little anti-Stone feel to it. I beat Matty Kurtis fair and square in the middle of that ring. I didn't sit on the sideline and I didn't win by DQ; but I gots to follow the same path as these guys? All for a shot at Lloyd Rees?
Bob:
Stone, you have to admit that despite not being involved in the pin fall decision, Diablo did earn his 'props' in his NAPW debut.
Stone:
I ain't got to admit nothin'.
Bob:
And I hear Fatso Sazuki is recovering quickly.
Stone:
I don't care, Bobby.
Bob:
So what you're saying is...
Stone:
I'm goin' in on Tuesday night, to "Unified" as the only deserving man in that match. Ravager versus Casino, whatever. Tag title match and Simply Beautiful against Bruce 'The Bitch' ... Sure. If I was against any of those men, those eight men, I'd give one-hundred-and-ten percent. As it is, I ain't got to. I gots enough skillz in one hand to wipe the floor with these guys, so hopefully it don't rub off on them when I pimp slap them back to a time when people gave a damn about them!
Bubbles:
Okay, I'm back. What did I miss?
[Oh, Bubbles has returned from the bathroom]
Stone:
Bob was just leavin', B.
Bubbles:
Oh, really? Well it was nice to meet you, Bob.
Bob:
Likewise. I'll see you two at the show, I'm sure.
Stone:
Sure.
[So, Bob leaves with half a glass of Molson Exel still on the table. Rude bastard]
Bubbles:
I need to get a manicure this afternoon, do you want to join me?
[Whoa, lets leave it there! The scene comes to an end with a prompt, yet traditional fade to black]