Post by Fatso Sazuki on Apr 19, 2007 1:14:35 GMT -5
"Don't call it a comeback I been here for years Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear "-LL Cool J
--Well, since the last time you've all seen the "Chinamerican Behemoth" himself, Fatso Sazuki.. He was beat to within an inch of his life on the first match of his career. However he can't say that he didn't enjoy it, and he is sure the fans are on his side. Aside from the brutal beatdown. Fatso has discovered some life changing news. He has discovered that aside from not being his fathers son(Which many of you have already known) He also, is not even half Chinese. He is about 30% at most... which would make him heavily caucasian.When Fatso's mother broke this news to him, he questioned her, asking her why he talks like them then. She told him: "Because, you dumb and you on them drugs." After much argueing with his mother, he admitted that he had eaten "Bad" mushrooms that day, and that everyone was talking kind of funny. None the less my friends, Fatso Sazuki is in good spirits at the news that he will be in a match, which will determine a number one contender to the provincial title! Management must love Fatso!--
[The scene opens to the inside of Mel's room.. Hey, trust me.. this WILL NOT be as redundant as a Stone Zellor promotion.. We're only in this room and Fatso's room occasionally. Anyway, you've seen Mel's room so there isn't much need to describe the place..Fatso and Mel are sitting on the bed, Mel in a black hoodie and black pants, Fatso in a blue "Super Mario Brothers" T-shirt, and khaki pants, with his mask on, he is leaning back against a poster covered wall with Ice on his head and back.]
Mel: You look pretty bad baby.
Fatso: Gee. Thanks, I didn't already know that...
[The sarcastic tone in Fatso's voice makes Mel pout, and now Fatso is saddened by what he's done, so he reaches down next to him, holding his ribs, and grabs a twinkie, as Mels eyes almost light up. Fatso unwraps it and slowly moves close to Mel.]
Fatso: Who's my cute little spanish venus fly trap?
[Mel doesn't seem to be buying it..]
Fatso: Who's my cute wittle gothic Ommpa Loopa?
[Mel smiles and Fatso feeds her the twinkie, almost losing his fingers in the process. Fatso then goes back to laying down.]
Fatso: That little drone did a number on me baby...But I am going to be alright come this week. Big match for me this week.
Mel: Oh yeah?
Fatso: Me and Stone Zellor and Diablo.
Mel: You're fighting the devil?
Fatso: No, God..He just CALLS himself that..god..
Mel: Ohhhhhhh, Ok.
[Just then, Fatso, as if struck by something stands up ubruptly.]
Mel: What is it love?
Fatso: I have an Idea.
[Fatso scratches his "head" ]
Fatso: I think...
Mel: What do you mean you think you have an idea papi?
Fatso: Do you still have that digital camera?
Mel: Yes...
[Mel gets up now and goes to her closet, pulling out the camera.]
Mel: Ohhh boy.. you wanna shoot that video now love?!
Fatso: Yea...what?! No... Not that video!
[Mel pouts, but then quickly gets over it.]
Mel: What did you have in mind then?
Fatso: A PROMO!!
Mel: I KNEW IT!
[Mel unzips her hoodie and begins lifting her shirt when Fatso yells.]
Fatso: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Mel: What? You said you wanted to shoot a porno!
Fatso: No I didn't. I said PROMO..not PORNO..
Mel: Ohh, ok then.
Fatso: Can you turn on "Milky Cereal" by LL Cool J and hand me my props?
[Mel goes to the pc and turns the song on, followed by reaching on the desk and handing Fatso a big faux gold chain with a big clock that has Fatso's face as the background. Fatso puts the "Bling" on and Mel gets right infront of Fatso as she turns the camera on.]
Fatso: YEOO, This ya boy Fatso Sazuki here in the HIIZZZZOUSSEE, about ta let you all in on a little something something. Ya know, last week that biznotch double K almost killed ya boy. That be right yo, he almost killed tha Chinamerican Behemoth himself! WHATUPWIDDAT?! Anyway, As you all can tell, his pizzunk izzzass didn't make it out that biznotch with much.. if anything at all
[Fatso does his "gangster" giggle]
Fatso: Awwww shizznit son! I make my own self laugh that's how funny I be yo. But ya, Check it homeslices and G-Funks of tha wrestlin wizzzorld, Fatso Sazuki musta did done somethin right ya feel me, cause NAPIZZZLLLEEEEE-W thought ya boy was the dopest, the flyest, the illest, the realist,baddest mammajamma in all of the world cause they said:
"Hey yo, Fatso. Ya got a match next week."
Then check it, I was just like:
"Word up gmoney, who im wrestlin?"
NAPizzzlllleeeee-W said:
"You is wrestlin dat whackamuhass Stone Zellor and that wikiwikiwikistoopid Diablo for a chance at some P-Gold ya feel me?"
Then ya boy, dat Fatty-boom-ba-latty, Fatso told em:
"Aight, sounds like ima have me a little bit of fun-in-da-canadian-sun playa!"
And that's what's goin down this time 'round. Ya boy is takin on dat spiked collar wearin, wack-ass-wit-no-class, My-brotha-left-me-so-I-gotta-bring-in-a-girl-named-bubbles Stone Zellor and Mr.Ima-call-myself-the-devil,when I ain't nothin but a broke back half sack idiot, DIABLLLLOOOOO. Well boys, lemme tell ya a little something..
[Just then, the track turns to "Tricky" from Run-DMC]
Stoney brotha, I dig tha "Dynamite" thing homie, It's a good thing for you man.. I ain't be gottin not too much of a problem with ya playa-play, You in this match, I is in this match, It gonna be a good time homie. Believe me when I say that. I ain't out ta rip dem fans off, They earned they money the hard way ta come and see some stuff go off, and bygollie, we gonna set some stuff off ain't we?! They gonna be chantin "These wanksta's is tricky!" So Stone, after tha match, Me and you playa play, we gonna have some free chinese on me, and celebrate aight?
[Fatso coughs a little and then continues.]
Lizzzasstly, we got DIABLO.. Ya skankalank self.. Man why ya gotta go and ruin a good time playa? Me and Stone.. or Stone and I rather, we was havin a good tizzime without ya in this match then ya gotta go and want a shot at somethin.. well brotha, That shot be goin to me so you can step back inta that line and you can tell em you lost to da kid wit them Fresh skills, that dude that got the freaky leeky style, and that brotha from a diff'rent motha that got all the otha's beggin fo'anotha!
This been a Fatso Productions... Ya'll can turn the mothasuckin tape off now and sip a 40oz of fountain soda fo'ya man! Holla!
[With that, the scene comes to an end..]
--Well, since the last time you've all seen the "Chinamerican Behemoth" himself, Fatso Sazuki.. He was beat to within an inch of his life on the first match of his career. However he can't say that he didn't enjoy it, and he is sure the fans are on his side. Aside from the brutal beatdown. Fatso has discovered some life changing news. He has discovered that aside from not being his fathers son(Which many of you have already known) He also, is not even half Chinese. He is about 30% at most... which would make him heavily caucasian.When Fatso's mother broke this news to him, he questioned her, asking her why he talks like them then. She told him: "Because, you dumb and you on them drugs." After much argueing with his mother, he admitted that he had eaten "Bad" mushrooms that day, and that everyone was talking kind of funny. None the less my friends, Fatso Sazuki is in good spirits at the news that he will be in a match, which will determine a number one contender to the provincial title! Management must love Fatso!--
[The scene opens to the inside of Mel's room.. Hey, trust me.. this WILL NOT be as redundant as a Stone Zellor promotion.. We're only in this room and Fatso's room occasionally. Anyway, you've seen Mel's room so there isn't much need to describe the place..Fatso and Mel are sitting on the bed, Mel in a black hoodie and black pants, Fatso in a blue "Super Mario Brothers" T-shirt, and khaki pants, with his mask on, he is leaning back against a poster covered wall with Ice on his head and back.]
Mel: You look pretty bad baby.
Fatso: Gee. Thanks, I didn't already know that...
[The sarcastic tone in Fatso's voice makes Mel pout, and now Fatso is saddened by what he's done, so he reaches down next to him, holding his ribs, and grabs a twinkie, as Mels eyes almost light up. Fatso unwraps it and slowly moves close to Mel.]
Fatso: Who's my cute little spanish venus fly trap?
[Mel doesn't seem to be buying it..]
Fatso: Who's my cute wittle gothic Ommpa Loopa?
[Mel smiles and Fatso feeds her the twinkie, almost losing his fingers in the process. Fatso then goes back to laying down.]
Fatso: That little drone did a number on me baby...But I am going to be alright come this week. Big match for me this week.
Mel: Oh yeah?
Fatso: Me and Stone Zellor and Diablo.
Mel: You're fighting the devil?
Fatso: No, God..He just CALLS himself that..god..
Mel: Ohhhhhhh, Ok.
[Just then, Fatso, as if struck by something stands up ubruptly.]
Mel: What is it love?
Fatso: I have an Idea.
[Fatso scratches his "head" ]
Fatso: I think...
Mel: What do you mean you think you have an idea papi?
Fatso: Do you still have that digital camera?
Mel: Yes...
[Mel gets up now and goes to her closet, pulling out the camera.]
Mel: Ohhh boy.. you wanna shoot that video now love?!
Fatso: Yea...what?! No... Not that video!
[Mel pouts, but then quickly gets over it.]
Mel: What did you have in mind then?
Fatso: A PROMO!!
Mel: I KNEW IT!
[Mel unzips her hoodie and begins lifting her shirt when Fatso yells.]
Fatso: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Mel: What? You said you wanted to shoot a porno!
Fatso: No I didn't. I said PROMO..not PORNO..
Mel: Ohh, ok then.
Fatso: Can you turn on "Milky Cereal" by LL Cool J and hand me my props?
[Mel goes to the pc and turns the song on, followed by reaching on the desk and handing Fatso a big faux gold chain with a big clock that has Fatso's face as the background. Fatso puts the "Bling" on and Mel gets right infront of Fatso as she turns the camera on.]
Fatso: YEOO, This ya boy Fatso Sazuki here in the HIIZZZZOUSSEE, about ta let you all in on a little something something. Ya know, last week that biznotch double K almost killed ya boy. That be right yo, he almost killed tha Chinamerican Behemoth himself! WHATUPWIDDAT?! Anyway, As you all can tell, his pizzunk izzzass didn't make it out that biznotch with much.. if anything at all
[Fatso does his "gangster" giggle]
Fatso: Awwww shizznit son! I make my own self laugh that's how funny I be yo. But ya, Check it homeslices and G-Funks of tha wrestlin wizzzorld, Fatso Sazuki musta did done somethin right ya feel me, cause NAPIZZZLLLEEEEE-W thought ya boy was the dopest, the flyest, the illest, the realist,baddest mammajamma in all of the world cause they said:
"Hey yo, Fatso. Ya got a match next week."
Then check it, I was just like:
"Word up gmoney, who im wrestlin?"
NAPizzzlllleeeee-W said:
"You is wrestlin dat whackamuhass Stone Zellor and that wikiwikiwikistoopid Diablo for a chance at some P-Gold ya feel me?"
Then ya boy, dat Fatty-boom-ba-latty, Fatso told em:
"Aight, sounds like ima have me a little bit of fun-in-da-canadian-sun playa!"
And that's what's goin down this time 'round. Ya boy is takin on dat spiked collar wearin, wack-ass-wit-no-class, My-brotha-left-me-so-I-gotta-bring-in-a-girl-named-bubbles Stone Zellor and Mr.Ima-call-myself-the-devil,when I ain't nothin but a broke back half sack idiot, DIABLLLLOOOOO. Well boys, lemme tell ya a little something..
[Just then, the track turns to "Tricky" from Run-DMC]
Stoney brotha, I dig tha "Dynamite" thing homie, It's a good thing for you man.. I ain't be gottin not too much of a problem with ya playa-play, You in this match, I is in this match, It gonna be a good time homie. Believe me when I say that. I ain't out ta rip dem fans off, They earned they money the hard way ta come and see some stuff go off, and bygollie, we gonna set some stuff off ain't we?! They gonna be chantin "These wanksta's is tricky!" So Stone, after tha match, Me and you playa play, we gonna have some free chinese on me, and celebrate aight?
[Fatso coughs a little and then continues.]
Lizzzasstly, we got DIABLO.. Ya skankalank self.. Man why ya gotta go and ruin a good time playa? Me and Stone.. or Stone and I rather, we was havin a good tizzime without ya in this match then ya gotta go and want a shot at somethin.. well brotha, That shot be goin to me so you can step back inta that line and you can tell em you lost to da kid wit them Fresh skills, that dude that got the freaky leeky style, and that brotha from a diff'rent motha that got all the otha's beggin fo'anotha!
This been a Fatso Productions... Ya'll can turn the mothasuckin tape off now and sip a 40oz of fountain soda fo'ya man! Holla!
[With that, the scene comes to an end..]