Post by nexusone on Dec 17, 2005 3:24:04 GMT -5
(Rex is at a mall. He is here Christmas shopping with his agent Brian McKinney. They are picking up presents to give to all his boys at NAPW.)
Brian: Why are we buying all them guys gifts?
Rex: Well my idea of giving my shirt as a gift was foiled when Immortal bought like all of them and gave them out as presents. So I’m going to actually shop now.
Brian: But you don’t like any of those guys.
Rex: I’m campaigning so I need their support. Ok, lets go in Spencer’s the gag gift shop.
Brian: First on this list is Chris Casino.
(Rex sees some playing cards. He places those in the buggy.)
Rex: We’ll get these, and some bandages cause D! will bust his ass open Monday in that steel cage.
Brian: Ok, next is Technique.
(Rex looks around a bit and sees a poster of Nick Lachey and places it in the buggy.)
Rex: Technique is dying for one of those. He is so happy that Jessica is gone, I think because he might have a shot now.
Brian: With Jessica?
Rex: No, with Nick!
(They leave that store and enter Radio Shack.)
Brian: Ok, your new tag partner Static is next on the list.
(Rex sees some rabbit ear antennas and gets one.)
Rex: My boy ain’t got cable, hence the name Static.
(Rex and Brian leave there and go to the Dollar Tree. He sees some tampons and throw them in the buggy.)
Brian: Who are those for, Tiffany?
Rex: No, for Menstrual. Duh. Who’s next?
Brian: D!
Rex: I’m going to get him so liquor, maybe some SKYY Vodka. He might want to celebrate that ass whippin he gives Mr. Riverboat Gambler.
(Rex throws in a dog chew toy.)
Rex: That’s for Ravager, so he’ll stop chewing up my damn Nikes.
(They leave that store and enter Victoria Secret. Brian starts blushing immediately.)
Brian: No, man. Why we in here?
Rex: Tiffany… She needs some sexy lingerie to wear for the champs.
Brian: The Dudes?
Rex: Again, No. The future champs, me and Static. Keep up.
(Rex looks at some thong panties and calls over an employee.)
Rex: Ma’am, do you have these in like extra booty size, cause the girls ass is fatter than Paris Hilton's wallet.
Sales woman: Yes, we do.
(She hands him a very large pair of lime green thongs, with a matching negligee.)
Rex: Nothing bigger, the ass is huge. Aw never mind. Next up Immortal. He has been begging for a water bra and I’m not sure why?
Brian: OK, lets get something for the Beast and Kyle.
Rex: Kyle, maybe but Beast gets the greatest gift of all: me as his partner. What could be better. I think I’m going to send Kyle a business card of a good lawyer.
Brian: Why?
Rex: Once NAPW hits it big, Uncle Vinny will sue him over that name. He’s cool like that.
Brian: We have need to get Crusher, Khaos, Mirage, and Predator all something.
Rex: Let’s go to Books-a-Million and get them all thesaurus’ and some Charles Dickens novels.
Brian: The Dudes?
Rex: I got them job interviews with Gulf South Wrestling. Soon after me and Static take their belts, they might want to go to a promotion they can win in.
Brian: Storm?
Rex: Raincoats and some galoshes. Maybe an umbrella but not two. They’ll have to share.
Brian: Ok, last but not least, Decaps and Lobo.
Rex: Lets get them some calendars, clocks, and 6 months free with AOL. That way they can keep up with their schedules, I’d hate for them to be late for anything, or god forbid not show up at all for something important. But I can’t help thinking I left someone out.
Brian: What about the guys in the front office that books your matches.
Rex: Their Christmas present is that Rex Caliber will be wrestling in NAPW for a long time!
(Rex and Brian carry all their bags through the mall as Santa stops Rex for an autograph. Rex signs it and gives Santa a shirt then promptly asks for 25 bucks.)
Brian: Why are we buying all them guys gifts?
Rex: Well my idea of giving my shirt as a gift was foiled when Immortal bought like all of them and gave them out as presents. So I’m going to actually shop now.
Brian: But you don’t like any of those guys.
Rex: I’m campaigning so I need their support. Ok, lets go in Spencer’s the gag gift shop.
Brian: First on this list is Chris Casino.
(Rex sees some playing cards. He places those in the buggy.)
Rex: We’ll get these, and some bandages cause D! will bust his ass open Monday in that steel cage.
Brian: Ok, next is Technique.
(Rex looks around a bit and sees a poster of Nick Lachey and places it in the buggy.)
Rex: Technique is dying for one of those. He is so happy that Jessica is gone, I think because he might have a shot now.
Brian: With Jessica?
Rex: No, with Nick!
(They leave that store and enter Radio Shack.)
Brian: Ok, your new tag partner Static is next on the list.
(Rex sees some rabbit ear antennas and gets one.)
Rex: My boy ain’t got cable, hence the name Static.
(Rex and Brian leave there and go to the Dollar Tree. He sees some tampons and throw them in the buggy.)
Brian: Who are those for, Tiffany?
Rex: No, for Menstrual. Duh. Who’s next?
Brian: D!
Rex: I’m going to get him so liquor, maybe some SKYY Vodka. He might want to celebrate that ass whippin he gives Mr. Riverboat Gambler.
(Rex throws in a dog chew toy.)
Rex: That’s for Ravager, so he’ll stop chewing up my damn Nikes.
(They leave that store and enter Victoria Secret. Brian starts blushing immediately.)
Brian: No, man. Why we in here?
Rex: Tiffany… She needs some sexy lingerie to wear for the champs.
Brian: The Dudes?
Rex: Again, No. The future champs, me and Static. Keep up.
(Rex looks at some thong panties and calls over an employee.)
Rex: Ma’am, do you have these in like extra booty size, cause the girls ass is fatter than Paris Hilton's wallet.
Sales woman: Yes, we do.
(She hands him a very large pair of lime green thongs, with a matching negligee.)
Rex: Nothing bigger, the ass is huge. Aw never mind. Next up Immortal. He has been begging for a water bra and I’m not sure why?
Brian: OK, lets get something for the Beast and Kyle.
Rex: Kyle, maybe but Beast gets the greatest gift of all: me as his partner. What could be better. I think I’m going to send Kyle a business card of a good lawyer.
Brian: Why?
Rex: Once NAPW hits it big, Uncle Vinny will sue him over that name. He’s cool like that.
Brian: We have need to get Crusher, Khaos, Mirage, and Predator all something.
Rex: Let’s go to Books-a-Million and get them all thesaurus’ and some Charles Dickens novels.
Brian: The Dudes?
Rex: I got them job interviews with Gulf South Wrestling. Soon after me and Static take their belts, they might want to go to a promotion they can win in.
Brian: Storm?
Rex: Raincoats and some galoshes. Maybe an umbrella but not two. They’ll have to share.
Brian: Ok, last but not least, Decaps and Lobo.
Rex: Lets get them some calendars, clocks, and 6 months free with AOL. That way they can keep up with their schedules, I’d hate for them to be late for anything, or god forbid not show up at all for something important. But I can’t help thinking I left someone out.
Brian: What about the guys in the front office that books your matches.
Rex: Their Christmas present is that Rex Caliber will be wrestling in NAPW for a long time!
(Rex and Brian carry all their bags through the mall as Santa stops Rex for an autograph. Rex signs it and gives Santa a shirt then promptly asks for 25 bucks.)