Post by dbrunk01 on Apr 12, 2007 9:14:43 GMT -5
FADE IN.....
The front yard of an expansive ranch house just outside the suburbs on the West side of Houston, TX - The shot pulls back just a touch to show Dan Ryan lying back on a chair that sits on the front porch, hands intertwined behind his head, legs crossed at the ankles, sunglasses down over the eyes.
The sun shines, the birdies chirp.
Ryan: "Sebastian Martyr, I kinda like you. You're a brave guy. You're stupid, obviously - but brave. Very very brave. Also very very stupid. But brave."
"Let me say up front that I'm here not as an invader to NAPW..." (I've already done that bit once before) "...but as an invited guest. I'm not here to threaten whatever anyone has going or to challenge any of your champions or demean any of your history or talent or anything else. As I understand it, there was a sudden open spot - and the guy who runs the place happened upon my name and made an offer. I'm here, why?"
"Because I'm a nice guy."
"Now Sebastian Martyr, you may be a nice guy as well. You're certainly a stupid guy. But you may be nice, also. I don't really know you all that well."
"It would have probably done you well to admit the same about me, because clearly you do need to 'do much homework'[/i] going by the bulls**t you just said."
"You're doing an awful lot of talking for your 'pride of lions' there, sport. You sure they all feel the same way you do? You sure they all wanna make an enemy of me that quickly? You sure they don't just wanna treat things as they can be? A nice friendly one shot match to spark some interest followed by nothing more than a handshake, a smile and a plane ticket back to the areas I usually work?"
"You wanna talk about Empire Pro? That's cool. I can handle the free advertising. Now, I'm sure the floating ring will actually be some sort of barge that Irishred and his morons have managed to set up out there somewhere. It's clear the concept is a hard one for you to wrap your brain around. But ya know what? For you, and you alone I will make sure I send a memo to my greatest enemy Irishred and instruct him..." (since he listens to me) "...to semantically spell out every stipulation he comes up with so that hungry lions like you from other federations can easily comprehend the match set-up. God knows he'll be awfully upset about losing the twenty-five bucks from what apparently would have been the ticket you were planning on buying, had the stipulation made sense to you."
"Now obviously, my nemesis Irishred is booking me in this match to humiliate me after I humiliated him for the first many many years of our acquaintance - and for the next six months he has that right."
"My suggestion to you is that if you don't care for the freakshow, don't watch the freakshow."
"As for the wrestling - again, if you felt you needed to 'do much homework'[/i] then maybe you'd know what the hell you were talking about."
"Do you know how many times a day I have to hear some schmoe...'"(especially the ones from Canada) "...tell me how I may be Mr. big shot world champion legend superstar blah blah blah, but I've never seen ANYONE as determined/confident/skilled/powerful/vicious/relentless/cold/callous/calculating/randomretarddescriptiveterm...as them? If I had a loonie for every time it happens I'd be richer than I already am by a long shot."
"And what the hell is with the silly sitting in the dark alleyway motif? And the lightning flashing at the oppurtune time? Yeah, I saw that episode of Scooby Doo, too Sebastian. Don't tell me I'm gonna pull a mask off of your head and discover you were Old Man Waterman who lives down by the old farmhouse all along."
"If you'd like to remain brave....stupid....but brave, and in one piece for much longer - I suggest you turn your attention and tactics toward simply wrestling your best match, testing yourself against some of the best in the best in the business and then moving along with your pathetic little melodramatic life."
"I don't call you the cancer. I don't call you the plague. Based on what I'm seeing of you so far, I'm calling you The Dork."
"Since you failed to do your homework the first go 'round, I'm giving you a new assignment. Your homework, due before the next time you open your brave.....but stupid.....mouth - is to...number one.....try and film a segment somewhere other than an alleyway during a convenient rainstorm....number two....come up with something a lot less cheesy and eighties to end your segments with other than...." (in a mock Kona Crush INTENSITAY!!11!~~! voice) "I'm the Doctor of Desecration and I'm gonna give you a bad bill of health!!!"
Ryan leaps to his feet and poses, in INTENSITAY!!11!~~! fighting stance....then quietly and stoically sits back down and resumes the position....
"And last but not least, I need you to watch some videotape, witness the things I do in places that I never owned and perhaps even wrestled a few real matches or two - and educate yourself before I toss you around the ring and spike you on the back of your neck, and cause the NAPW insurance premiums to go way, way up as a result of your unfortunate hospital stay."
"Furthermore, you can avoid the scenario of your future elderly self regaling little Sebby Martyr the third on how your name being the first words out of my mouth in NAPW is the fondest memory of your time in wrestling left in your Alzheimer's-ridden head - although that's likely to happen either way."
"Once you've done these things to my satisfaction, then and only then may we have the possibility of an intelligent discourse that leads to the sort of friendly appearance that my presence was intended to be in the first place. Leave Brave (but stupid) Heart Bear Sebastian and dig around for Brainy Bear Sebastian."
"Until then, I've got a little birdie of my own for you. With the creativity evident in your speeches, I'm sure you can read between the lines."
FADE OUT....[/b]
The front yard of an expansive ranch house just outside the suburbs on the West side of Houston, TX - The shot pulls back just a touch to show Dan Ryan lying back on a chair that sits on the front porch, hands intertwined behind his head, legs crossed at the ankles, sunglasses down over the eyes.
The sun shines, the birdies chirp.
Ryan: "Sebastian Martyr, I kinda like you. You're a brave guy. You're stupid, obviously - but brave. Very very brave. Also very very stupid. But brave."
"Let me say up front that I'm here not as an invader to NAPW..." (I've already done that bit once before) "...but as an invited guest. I'm not here to threaten whatever anyone has going or to challenge any of your champions or demean any of your history or talent or anything else. As I understand it, there was a sudden open spot - and the guy who runs the place happened upon my name and made an offer. I'm here, why?"
"Because I'm a nice guy."
"Now Sebastian Martyr, you may be a nice guy as well. You're certainly a stupid guy. But you may be nice, also. I don't really know you all that well."
"It would have probably done you well to admit the same about me, because clearly you do need to 'do much homework'[/i] going by the bulls**t you just said."
"You're doing an awful lot of talking for your 'pride of lions' there, sport. You sure they all feel the same way you do? You sure they all wanna make an enemy of me that quickly? You sure they don't just wanna treat things as they can be? A nice friendly one shot match to spark some interest followed by nothing more than a handshake, a smile and a plane ticket back to the areas I usually work?"
"You wanna talk about Empire Pro? That's cool. I can handle the free advertising. Now, I'm sure the floating ring will actually be some sort of barge that Irishred and his morons have managed to set up out there somewhere. It's clear the concept is a hard one for you to wrap your brain around. But ya know what? For you, and you alone I will make sure I send a memo to my greatest enemy Irishred and instruct him..." (since he listens to me) "...to semantically spell out every stipulation he comes up with so that hungry lions like you from other federations can easily comprehend the match set-up. God knows he'll be awfully upset about losing the twenty-five bucks from what apparently would have been the ticket you were planning on buying, had the stipulation made sense to you."
"Now obviously, my nemesis Irishred is booking me in this match to humiliate me after I humiliated him for the first many many years of our acquaintance - and for the next six months he has that right."
"My suggestion to you is that if you don't care for the freakshow, don't watch the freakshow."
"As for the wrestling - again, if you felt you needed to 'do much homework'[/i] then maybe you'd know what the hell you were talking about."
"Do you know how many times a day I have to hear some schmoe...'"(especially the ones from Canada) "...tell me how I may be Mr. big shot world champion legend superstar blah blah blah, but I've never seen ANYONE as determined/confident/skilled/powerful/vicious/relentless/cold/callous/calculating/randomretarddescriptiveterm...as them? If I had a loonie for every time it happens I'd be richer than I already am by a long shot."
"And what the hell is with the silly sitting in the dark alleyway motif? And the lightning flashing at the oppurtune time? Yeah, I saw that episode of Scooby Doo, too Sebastian. Don't tell me I'm gonna pull a mask off of your head and discover you were Old Man Waterman who lives down by the old farmhouse all along."
"If you'd like to remain brave....stupid....but brave, and in one piece for much longer - I suggest you turn your attention and tactics toward simply wrestling your best match, testing yourself against some of the best in the best in the business and then moving along with your pathetic little melodramatic life."
"I don't call you the cancer. I don't call you the plague. Based on what I'm seeing of you so far, I'm calling you The Dork."
"Since you failed to do your homework the first go 'round, I'm giving you a new assignment. Your homework, due before the next time you open your brave.....but stupid.....mouth - is to...number one.....try and film a segment somewhere other than an alleyway during a convenient rainstorm....number two....come up with something a lot less cheesy and eighties to end your segments with other than...." (in a mock Kona Crush INTENSITAY!!11!~~! voice) "I'm the Doctor of Desecration and I'm gonna give you a bad bill of health!!!"
Ryan leaps to his feet and poses, in INTENSITAY!!11!~~! fighting stance....then quietly and stoically sits back down and resumes the position....
"And last but not least, I need you to watch some videotape, witness the things I do in places that I never owned and perhaps even wrestled a few real matches or two - and educate yourself before I toss you around the ring and spike you on the back of your neck, and cause the NAPW insurance premiums to go way, way up as a result of your unfortunate hospital stay."
"Furthermore, you can avoid the scenario of your future elderly self regaling little Sebby Martyr the third on how your name being the first words out of my mouth in NAPW is the fondest memory of your time in wrestling left in your Alzheimer's-ridden head - although that's likely to happen either way."
"Once you've done these things to my satisfaction, then and only then may we have the possibility of an intelligent discourse that leads to the sort of friendly appearance that my presence was intended to be in the first place. Leave Brave (but stupid) Heart Bear Sebastian and dig around for Brainy Bear Sebastian."
"Until then, I've got a little birdie of my own for you. With the creativity evident in your speeches, I'm sure you can read between the lines."
FADE OUT....[/b]