Post by Jay O'Brien on Mar 30, 2007 12:44:13 GMT -5
[Start.]
"You're going to need a cast on that wrist, Jay."
[We're in a ward at the Alberta Hospital Edmonton, perhaps the most peculiarly named name hopsital in the entire world. Jay is laying in bed, his arm in a sling, being addressed by the doctor. This, the price for his awkward fall after being eliminated by Dez Carter.]
DOC: But this is a serious injury. You could be wearing it for some time.
JOB: What?!
DOC: I'm afraid you've torn you hypermenascusorial tendons. It's touch and go at this point I'm afraid.
JOB: Touch and go?!
[The doctor picks up a flashlight and shines it Jay's ear canal.]
JOB: I hear you for God's sake! I just... can't believe it...
DOC: I realize this must come as quite a shock.
JOB: Man...
DOC: What we tend to do with hypermenascusorialitis - your condition - is put the wrist in a cast and hope that it heals naturally. Otherwise, we could be looking at a whole series of operations.
JOB: Woah, woah, woah... this can't be right, doc, I played baseball this morn---
DOC: Whilst you might not feel any effect at the moment, any kind of knock would cause the inflamation of your entire arm from the elbow down, Mr. O'Brien. I can tell you from personal experience that this considerably painful.
[Jay thinks for a sec.]
JOB: All right Doc, how much for the operation?
[The doctor smiles.]
DOC: I'm sorry?
JOB: You heard me. Let's do it, right now. How much?
DOC: I'm afraid it's not that simple. Hypermenascusorialitisosis - which can potentially develop from hypermenascusorialitis, is -----
JOB: Doc, seriously...
[Jay sighs, frustrated.]
JOB: I don't have a degree in medical science, can we talk in English please?
DOC: I thought you were an athlete?
JOB: I am!
DOC: And.. and you've never heard of hypermenascusorialitis?
JOB NO!
[The doctor looks absolutely astounded.]
DOC: Wow...
JOB: Well?
DOC: Oh, right, right... well basically, what you've done is this:
[The doctor points to a diagram of the human body, to the wrist.]
DOC: This is your hypermenascusorial ligament. It controls the movement of your ankle.
JOB: MY ANKLE?!
DOC: The human body is miraculous, Mr. O'Brien.
JOB: You're taking the piss!
DOC: I assure you I am not.
JOB: My hypermasscul---
DOC: (interrupting) Hypermillisile.
JOB: Wait a minute... that's not what you just called it!
DOC: I did too.
JOB: No! No, you didn't! You called it something else!
DOC: And what would that be?
JOB: I... I can't remember...
DOC: Mr. O'Brien, I have been a physician for over thirty years. I am well aware of the... wrist.
JOB: Dude... are you a real doctor?
DOC: Please! What is being alleged here? You understand you are cutting it VERY close to being liablous?
JOB: Oh, I dunno...
DOC: If you'd allow me to make an observation... you're in denial, Mr. O'Brien. You have suffered a serious injury. Your wrestling career could be over.
JOB: HUH?!
DOC: Or not, we'll have to wait and see. If your... wrist heals, you'll be back in the ring within a week. Otherwise, it could be a decade, or never at all.
JOB: I don't believe this...
DOC: A classic symptom of denial.
JOB: ...
DOC: We'll get a cast on that wrist, and then we can send you home. But I don't want you doing anything with it, okay?
JOB: Fine.
DOC: Then we'll arrange a date next week, and you can come back and we'll judge your progress.
[The doctor is about to leave.]
JOB: Hey, doc...
DOC: Yes?
JOB: Do I smell... alcohol?
[The doctor slams the door behind him.]
"You're going to need a cast on that wrist, Jay."
[We're in a ward at the Alberta Hospital Edmonton, perhaps the most peculiarly named name hopsital in the entire world. Jay is laying in bed, his arm in a sling, being addressed by the doctor. This, the price for his awkward fall after being eliminated by Dez Carter.]
DOC: But this is a serious injury. You could be wearing it for some time.
JOB: What?!
DOC: I'm afraid you've torn you hypermenascusorial tendons. It's touch and go at this point I'm afraid.
JOB: Touch and go?!
[The doctor picks up a flashlight and shines it Jay's ear canal.]
JOB: I hear you for God's sake! I just... can't believe it...
DOC: I realize this must come as quite a shock.
JOB: Man...
DOC: What we tend to do with hypermenascusorialitis - your condition - is put the wrist in a cast and hope that it heals naturally. Otherwise, we could be looking at a whole series of operations.
JOB: Woah, woah, woah... this can't be right, doc, I played baseball this morn---
DOC: Whilst you might not feel any effect at the moment, any kind of knock would cause the inflamation of your entire arm from the elbow down, Mr. O'Brien. I can tell you from personal experience that this considerably painful.
[Jay thinks for a sec.]
JOB: All right Doc, how much for the operation?
[The doctor smiles.]
DOC: I'm sorry?
JOB: You heard me. Let's do it, right now. How much?
DOC: I'm afraid it's not that simple. Hypermenascusorialitisosis - which can potentially develop from hypermenascusorialitis, is -----
JOB: Doc, seriously...
[Jay sighs, frustrated.]
JOB: I don't have a degree in medical science, can we talk in English please?
DOC: I thought you were an athlete?
JOB: I am!
DOC: And.. and you've never heard of hypermenascusorialitis?
JOB NO!
[The doctor looks absolutely astounded.]
DOC: Wow...
JOB: Well?
DOC: Oh, right, right... well basically, what you've done is this:
[The doctor points to a diagram of the human body, to the wrist.]
DOC: This is your hypermenascusorial ligament. It controls the movement of your ankle.
JOB: MY ANKLE?!
DOC: The human body is miraculous, Mr. O'Brien.
JOB: You're taking the piss!
DOC: I assure you I am not.
JOB: My hypermasscul---
DOC: (interrupting) Hypermillisile.
JOB: Wait a minute... that's not what you just called it!
DOC: I did too.
JOB: No! No, you didn't! You called it something else!
DOC: And what would that be?
JOB: I... I can't remember...
DOC: Mr. O'Brien, I have been a physician for over thirty years. I am well aware of the... wrist.
JOB: Dude... are you a real doctor?
DOC: Please! What is being alleged here? You understand you are cutting it VERY close to being liablous?
JOB: Oh, I dunno...
DOC: If you'd allow me to make an observation... you're in denial, Mr. O'Brien. You have suffered a serious injury. Your wrestling career could be over.
JOB: HUH?!
DOC: Or not, we'll have to wait and see. If your... wrist heals, you'll be back in the ring within a week. Otherwise, it could be a decade, or never at all.
JOB: I don't believe this...
DOC: A classic symptom of denial.
JOB: ...
DOC: We'll get a cast on that wrist, and then we can send you home. But I don't want you doing anything with it, okay?
JOB: Fine.
DOC: Then we'll arrange a date next week, and you can come back and we'll judge your progress.
[The doctor is about to leave.]
JOB: Hey, doc...
DOC: Yes?
JOB: Do I smell... alcohol?
[The doctor slams the door behind him.]