A Not Ready For Prime Time Player

[Stylin' Kyle Roberts [REBEL]]

(Friday evening. Downtown Edmonton. The Druid pub. We see Kyle's estranged girlfriend, Amy, in a different context, that being, hanging out with some work friends, they're drinking, partying, it's just a few ladies on the town after a day's work. Amy's cell phone rings. She pulls it out of her purse, sees who's calling, sighs, and answers.)

AMY: Hello?

KYLE ROBERTS: (singing) There's a little black spot on the sun today.

AMY: Oh jeez.

KYLE ROBERTS: It's the same old thing as yesterday...

AMY: I finally start answering your calls, and you're singing to me?

KYLE ROBERTS: Hey, if I was in town, I'd be in front of your mom's house with a boombox over my head, just like that movie featuring John Cusack. Was it Con Air?

AMY: Say Anything.

KYLE ROBERTS: What would you like me to say? I'm sorry?

AMY: No, Kyle, that's the name of the movie.

KYLE ROBERTS: Oh. Well, I'm sorry. Just like I was for the past forty messages I've left on your voicemail.

AMY: Where are you?

KYLE ROBERTS: Moose Jaw. Mom's house. It's not like I had anything to go back to Edmonton for after last week's Regina show. I'm surprised you even answered this time.

AMY: People were getting confused why I'd be sitting around, not answering my cell phone.

KYLE ROBERTS: Yeah. So, are we moving back in?

AMY: Kyle-

KYLE ROBERTS: I miss you. I love you.

AMY: You loved me so much, you lied to me about Bruce?

KYLE ROBERTS: It was only to protect you.

AMY: And you don't trust me enough to think that you had the right reasons to leave Bruce?

KYLE ROBERTS: You think I left for the right reasons?

AMY: I don't even know! He was your best friend, Kyle! Sure, he freaked me out a lot when you first introduced me to him, and he wasn't exactly the nicest guy around me. But then you two changed. For the better.

KYLE ROBERTS: It wasn't for the better, Amy. He lost the reason we started teaming up in the first place.

AMY: I could care less about your wrestling careers! Some people are perfectly happy away from the cameras. You two seem to live the persona a little too much.

KYLE ROBERTS: Hey, what you see is what you get.

AMY: No, not if you lie to me about stuff.

KYLE ROBERTS: Look. Babe. I'll stop the lying. We'll always be truthful with each other, alright?

AMY: I don't know.

KYLE ROBERTS: Hey, you want to know why I was singing King of Pain? I might have gotten us tickets to the Police!

AMY: Oh, Kyle.

KYLE ROBERTS: No probs, it's in June. Three months away? Plenty of time for us to work out our problems. But still, the Police! Your favourite 80s band!

AMY: Yeah. I guess.

KYLE ROBERTS: Well, I'll let you go. Where are you?

AMY: Out. With some girls from work.

KYLE ROBERTS: Ah. Have fun. I'll call you again later, okay? There's only so much you can do in Moose Jaw.

AMY: Okay. Bye.

KYLE ROBERTS: I love y-

(He's cut off by Amy shutting off her phone. She looks at her friends on the dance floor, sighs, puts on a happy face and leaves her seat to join them.)

* * *

(Kyle Roberts is walking in downtown Moose Jaw. Well, what there is of downtown Moose Jaw. Don't get me wrong, it's big enough, since it's about seven blocks by four blocks, but it's no Edmonton. You'd certainly be able to drive anywhere within fifteen minutes. But I digress. Walking. Downtown. He stops in front of "River Street Red," one of Moose Jaw's many murals. A building-tall flapper is laying down with a man in a zoot suit.)



KYLE ROBERTS: Ah, the dark days of Moose Jaw. Man, I'd love to have been around in 1920s Moose Jaw. Rum running to Chicago. Rampant bootlegging. Ladies ready to party everywhere. Quite a bit different from the sleepy city I grew up in in the eighties and nineties.

The city has a lot of history I wasn't aware of until they dug up the old bootlegging tunnels. Gangsters taking the train up from Illinois. The Soo Line took you directly here, where there wasn't prohibition, from Chicago, which, if you've ever watched the Untouchables, was wanting to be an underground Sin City. So we had quite the liquor running business. Did you know there was a time when the two dollar bill was called Moose Jaw Money, and no self-respecting man would ever use one? Two dollars was the going rate for a whore, you see. And Moose Jaw was full of them, right here on River Street. Moose Jaw businesses saw a lot of two dollar bills, let me tell you.

But enough about the past. Let's talk about the future. That's me, Stylin' Kyle Roberts. The future NAPW champ. The future of the company. I get asked, "Why, Kyle? Why are you facing pure losers like Sam Finn and Greg Hanson? Wouldn't you rather beat someone who's WORTH beating?" Well, the answer's quite simple. I took on the biggest galoot in NAPW just so I could see what it feels like to make a big man tap. Bruce Richards isn't as big as Sam, but he's bigger than me. So let's see what sort of pain I can inflict on bigger men. Now I know that nobody can stand up to a properly applied Beartamer.

Greg Hanson, so full of rage, just like Bruce. Greg's probably got the most rage in this fed. Wouldn't you be, if you were picked to be the next big thing in this company and all you had to show for it was a string of losses and one pathetic week as the TV champ? Hell, Mr. Slick held it for what? A month? So I know I can totally take down a man full of fire. Especially if I stoke it to the right temperatures so it's mindless fury.

Let's face it. Bruce won't be half as easy to beat as those dumbasses. The stupid fans know it, I know it. And that's why I decided to focus on another aspect on Bruce. The side of him that won't quit. The side that has way too much pride. The side of him at focuses on the task at hand and applies himself fully. Which is why I'm looking forward to meeting up with Chad Kurtis.

Chad, you're good in the ring, I'll admit. You've been one man I've enjoyed watching since you came into the fed. Soon, you'll be an NAPW legend! Just not this week. You're very good, but Stylin' Kyle Roberts good is a totally different level. You're a true Prime Time Player? Oh, Chad, before that happens, you actually have to start hitting the main event. Have you done that yet? On shows other than Action, I mean. Because, let's face it: Action's dead. Buried. If it were anything to write home about, Tuesday Night Fights would be the show that's not around. I've headlined TNF many, many times. When I held a tag belt, that was the division worth watching. You think you're ready for prime time? I AM prime time. I'm NBC's 1980s-era Thursday Night Lineup, the one that features the Cosby Show and Cheers. You're CBS's Everybody Loves Raymond, with maybe Becker for good measure.

I won't underestimate you, Show, I'm just telling the truth. You will be who I focus on for the next week, but you've got to remember that I'm not only seeing you in that ring, I'm seeing another aspect of Bruce Richards. We'll see how strong your spirit really is, Kurtis. Can you resist tapping to the Beartamer? Maybe you can. Maybe I'll just knock you out cold with the Emerald Fusion and get the pinfall if I can't make you tap. I'm not a one-trick pony, Kurtis, I'm a (BLEEP)ed Vegas magician's convention. If I don't beat you one way, there's certainly a few other ways I CAN beat you.

Go ahead, Kurtis. Try to be the hunter for once. Just make sure that you kill this bear before the bear eats you.

(We fade to black as Kyle sneers into the camera.)