Post by "LDK" Lloyd Rees on Mar 11, 2007 19:54:28 GMT -5
-Regina, Saskatchewan. The camera is focused on a NAPW/REBEL banner hanging in the background, standing in front of that banner; wrestling’s smartest man, a real manager’s manager, John Salty, and his number one man da “LDK” Lloyd Rees. Lloyd, standing in the background sporting a REBEL Pro T-shirt and John Salty in the foreground, speaks.-
J. Salty: Ladies and gentlemen, open yer ears and shut yer pie holes cause ye all are about t’hear from me meal ticket, da man d’hat will lead REBEL Pro into da future, da top wrassler in da business t’day, da TECHNICAL TERROR!! Put yer hands t’gether ye bunch of dirty slobs and pay attention fer dis is yer only chance fer a slight glimpse at greatness. I give t'you, da one and da only, da “LDK”…LLOYD REES!!
-Center on Rees, he speaks.-
“LDK” Lloyd Rees: Here we are just a few short days from one of da biggest cards in NAPW history, every title on da line, and we are yet t’hear from one of da so-called “biggest names” in da NAPW Television-Provincial Championship Unification Match, Da Untouchable, da currant NAPW Provincial Champion, “Da Devastator” Kurt Castle. Where da hell are ya Castle?! Ya t’busy massage’n Casino’s back, mix’n drinks fer yer b'ys, maybe take’n care of da tings KRENSHOV’s wife can’t manage t’get done. D’ese are all great possibilities, but none of d’hem are da true reason fer Kurt not show’n his face. But, everyone can always count on da “LDK” t’get t’da bottom of d’ese types of mysteries and dis time is no different…
“LDK” Lloyd Rees: It’s nothing t’be ashamed of Castle. No one is immune t’it, d’ere is no cure fer it, and it’s pretty easy t’catch. All it usually takes is begin’n signed t’step into da ring with da man known around da world as da “LDK”. So, me advice t’you is d’hat ya get lots of rest, drink lots of fluids, stay away from Regina and da big match, and ask yer buddy Jay O’Brien t’give ya a big kiss and make it all better. But, in all seriousness…
-Lloyd’s facial expression changes from a humorous one to a much more serious one.-
“LDK” Lloyd Rees: Castle!! Ya should have listened t’yer Doctors back in 2003, when ya broke yer f**k’n neck, and stayed out of dis business. But, NO!! Ya had t’come up t’Canada and try and prove a point. Now, in da big Four Corner Elimination Match, ya got yer big chance t’back up all yer s**t talk’n. First, ya can prove t’everyone d’hat, despite da broken neck and team’n with da likes of da rest of Da Untouchables, ya can still dance with da likes of da “LDK”. Secondly, ya get da chance t’step into da ring and show da world d’hat you really are da NAPW’s greatest Provincial Champion of all time, but d’ere just one ting d’hat might get in yer way; da true “Best NAPW Provincial Champion of all Time” will be there t’shut yer mouth!!
“LDK” Lloyd Rees: Here is how it’s go’n t’go Castle!! Da bell rings and dis ting gets under way. I first wipe da floor with da two utter Larries involved in dis historic match, d’hen it’s just me and you. I’ll play with ya fer a bit so you are yer Untouchable buddies can get all worked up and tink ya got complete control of everting d’hat is happen’n d’hen BANG!! “Nish” J. Drop and you, just like Kurtis and James, will all be cower’n in da corner, blinded by da greatness d’hat is me; da first ever NAPW Unified Champion, da TECHNICAL TERROR, da on and da only, da “LDK”…LLOYD REES!!
-Lloyd turns from that camera and walks away. John Salty pulls his trademark flask out of his inside pocket and gives a “cheers” motion toward the camera. He speaks.-
J. Salty: D’ere ya have it folks!! Da next NAPW Provincial Champion just told ya how it's go’n t’be!! I’d tell ya, if me name was Kurtis, James, or Castle, I’d start t’reconsider me plans fer, what will soon be known t'everyone in da wrasslin world as, "D'hat Tuesday Night in Regina". But, we all know how people like d'ese tree tink and how da prospect of d’ere own success clouds d’ere vision. So, t’d’hem I say…Over da lips and through da gums, look out stomach, here it comes!!
-John Salty takes a huge swig off the steel flask and exits to the right. We hear John Salty call out from off camera.-
J. Salty: D'hat means best of luck in mainlander...Yer go'n t'need it!
-Scene fades.-
J. Salty: Ladies and gentlemen, open yer ears and shut yer pie holes cause ye all are about t’hear from me meal ticket, da man d’hat will lead REBEL Pro into da future, da top wrassler in da business t’day, da TECHNICAL TERROR!! Put yer hands t’gether ye bunch of dirty slobs and pay attention fer dis is yer only chance fer a slight glimpse at greatness. I give t'you, da one and da only, da “LDK”…LLOYD REES!!
-Center on Rees, he speaks.-
“LDK” Lloyd Rees: Here we are just a few short days from one of da biggest cards in NAPW history, every title on da line, and we are yet t’hear from one of da so-called “biggest names” in da NAPW Television-Provincial Championship Unification Match, Da Untouchable, da currant NAPW Provincial Champion, “Da Devastator” Kurt Castle. Where da hell are ya Castle?! Ya t’busy massage’n Casino’s back, mix’n drinks fer yer b'ys, maybe take’n care of da tings KRENSHOV’s wife can’t manage t’get done. D’ese are all great possibilities, but none of d’hem are da true reason fer Kurt not show’n his face. But, everyone can always count on da “LDK” t’get t’da bottom of d’ese types of mysteries and dis time is no different…
[glow=red,2,300]“Kurt Castle has, what da doctors call, an extreme case of Rees-phobia”[/glow]
“LDK” Lloyd Rees: It’s nothing t’be ashamed of Castle. No one is immune t’it, d’ere is no cure fer it, and it’s pretty easy t’catch. All it usually takes is begin’n signed t’step into da ring with da man known around da world as da “LDK”. So, me advice t’you is d’hat ya get lots of rest, drink lots of fluids, stay away from Regina and da big match, and ask yer buddy Jay O’Brien t’give ya a big kiss and make it all better. But, in all seriousness…
-Lloyd’s facial expression changes from a humorous one to a much more serious one.-
“LDK” Lloyd Rees: Castle!! Ya should have listened t’yer Doctors back in 2003, when ya broke yer f**k’n neck, and stayed out of dis business. But, NO!! Ya had t’come up t’Canada and try and prove a point. Now, in da big Four Corner Elimination Match, ya got yer big chance t’back up all yer s**t talk’n. First, ya can prove t’everyone d’hat, despite da broken neck and team’n with da likes of da rest of Da Untouchables, ya can still dance with da likes of da “LDK”. Secondly, ya get da chance t’step into da ring and show da world d’hat you really are da NAPW’s greatest Provincial Champion of all time, but d’ere just one ting d’hat might get in yer way; da true “Best NAPW Provincial Champion of all Time” will be there t’shut yer mouth!!
“LDK” Lloyd Rees: Here is how it’s go’n t’go Castle!! Da bell rings and dis ting gets under way. I first wipe da floor with da two utter Larries involved in dis historic match, d’hen it’s just me and you. I’ll play with ya fer a bit so you are yer Untouchable buddies can get all worked up and tink ya got complete control of everting d’hat is happen’n d’hen BANG!! “Nish” J. Drop and you, just like Kurtis and James, will all be cower’n in da corner, blinded by da greatness d’hat is me; da first ever NAPW Unified Champion, da TECHNICAL TERROR, da on and da only, da “LDK”…LLOYD REES!!
-Lloyd turns from that camera and walks away. John Salty pulls his trademark flask out of his inside pocket and gives a “cheers” motion toward the camera. He speaks.-
J. Salty: D’ere ya have it folks!! Da next NAPW Provincial Champion just told ya how it's go’n t’be!! I’d tell ya, if me name was Kurtis, James, or Castle, I’d start t’reconsider me plans fer, what will soon be known t'everyone in da wrasslin world as, "D'hat Tuesday Night in Regina". But, we all know how people like d'ese tree tink and how da prospect of d’ere own success clouds d’ere vision. So, t’d’hem I say…Over da lips and through da gums, look out stomach, here it comes!!
-John Salty takes a huge swig off the steel flask and exits to the right. We hear John Salty call out from off camera.-
J. Salty: D'hat means best of luck in mainlander...Yer go'n t'need it!
-Scene fades.-