Post by Matthew Kurtis on Mar 10, 2007 13:18:01 GMT -5
(((We find "The Angry American" Matthew Kurtis,all 6'11" 315 pounds of him pacing like a caged animal in front of the NAPW logo waiting to be interviewed by Josh Reynolds. Josh walks up and doesn't even get a word out before Matthew starts talking...)))
MATTHEW:Where the Hell have you been Josh? You ask me to come by for an interview and then you show up late are you looking to get your ass kicked boy?
JOSH:Um...no,no let's not get violent. I'm sorry I'm late.
MATTHEW:Not get violent? Son,I'm a professional wrestler violence is how I make my living. Maybe that's been my problem lately,I ain't been violent enough. People like to try to overlook me,I mean take a look at the promos of our opponents for TNF this week,I mean they barely mention me. Maybe I need to do something to wake them up and reintroduce myself to them and NAPW as a whole.
JOSH(snootily):Do something like what,exactly?
MATTHEW(staring daggers at Josh):Well right now I'm considering hospitalizing a smart-ass interviewer.
(((Josh swallows hard.)))
MATTHEW: Maybe I need to prove that the "Big Blue Ass-kicker" is a nickname I actually earned and didn't just give myself,and what better way than by taking down the biggest man in NAPW and that's Kenny Krenshov. It's something I overheard in the locker-room,out in the arenas where NAPW goes and on the Internet. That question is "which monster is better "The Angry American" Matthew Kurtis or Kenny Krenshov?" The fans want to know,the other wrestlers want to know, and I HAVE to know.
JOSH:Are you challenging Krenshov,then?
MATTHEW:You could say that,I prefer to say I'm calling him out. Kinda like gunslingers in the Old West,but instead of finding out who's faster we're gonna find out who's bigger and badder. And it all starts at TNF this week Krenshov I'm coming for you,Big Man,we gave everyone a little preview during the battle royale and this week we'll wet the fans' appetites just that much more until NAPW has to make this match.
JOSH:But what about your other opponents,The Midnight Cowboys and Jay O'Brien? They might have something to say about you getting your hands on Krenshov.
MATTHEW:Do you really think that Clint Zellor and his brother "Dickless" Stone Zellor could stop me? I mean it seems that Clint forgot I was even in the match,he something to say about Lyndsey and The Foundation but not me. So Clint if you did forget I was in the match,trust me Son,it's a mistake you'll live to regret.Because I'll stick his big size 18 boot in face as I hit you with an Yakuza Kick. Stone did you get your feelings hurt little boy? At least I think your a boy,but if the rumor's true there's some question. Anyway,Stone stay out of the way so you don't get hurt boy,because if you try stop me I'll break your toothpick looking ass in half.
JOSH:What about Krenshov's Untouchables partner,Jay O'Brien?
MATTHEW:Oh yeah the man who after winning four...count them four... matches in a row started acting like he was the second coming of Ric Flair?
Wait didn't he get beat the very next week and then wasn't he eliminated from the battle royal last week by one person?After the last two weeks it looks fitting that his initials are J.O.B. because he's nothing but a glorified jabroni.I used to think that Chris Casino have a plan but after recruiting O'Brien for the Untouchables I ain't so sure.Maybe it's kinda like back in high school when the average looking girls would hangout with the ugly ones to make themselves look better,maybe that's O'Brien's role in the Untouchables. I have every confidence that my partners can keep these idiots out of the way of me and "Big Kenny".
JOSH:Well speaking of your tag team partners ,The Foundation, they were the ones that eliminated you from the Battle Royale last week. Also let's not forget that right at the first of the year and up through Cold Snap that Team Kurtis and Nightmare feuded with The Foundation and Jeff James. So basically what I'm asking is can you trust Prince Darko and Thomas Young?
MATTHEW:Sure I can trust them,last week's match was a battle royale they didn't do anything to me,that I wouldn't have done to them if given the chance. As far as the feud we had goes well that's the past and we've moved beyond that we all have other goals right now and fighting each other won't accomplish a Damned thing.And there's another older truth that covers this partnership too,well it's a saying really..."The enemy of my enemy is my friend." Are Darko,Thomas,and me ever going to be drinking buddies? Probably not but at least for this week we have the same goals and that's to beat the Shit out of the Untouchables and The Midnight Cowboys. So that's why I know I can trust them.
JOSH:So anything else you would like to say?
MATTHEW:Just one thing NAPW/REBEL beware because the Monster is loose!
(((With that Matthew pushes Josh out of the way and walks off.)))
MATTHEW:Where the Hell have you been Josh? You ask me to come by for an interview and then you show up late are you looking to get your ass kicked boy?
JOSH:Um...no,no let's not get violent. I'm sorry I'm late.
MATTHEW:Not get violent? Son,I'm a professional wrestler violence is how I make my living. Maybe that's been my problem lately,I ain't been violent enough. People like to try to overlook me,I mean take a look at the promos of our opponents for TNF this week,I mean they barely mention me. Maybe I need to do something to wake them up and reintroduce myself to them and NAPW as a whole.
JOSH(snootily):Do something like what,exactly?
MATTHEW(staring daggers at Josh):Well right now I'm considering hospitalizing a smart-ass interviewer.
(((Josh swallows hard.)))
MATTHEW: Maybe I need to prove that the "Big Blue Ass-kicker" is a nickname I actually earned and didn't just give myself,and what better way than by taking down the biggest man in NAPW and that's Kenny Krenshov. It's something I overheard in the locker-room,out in the arenas where NAPW goes and on the Internet. That question is "which monster is better "The Angry American" Matthew Kurtis or Kenny Krenshov?" The fans want to know,the other wrestlers want to know, and I HAVE to know.
JOSH:Are you challenging Krenshov,then?
MATTHEW:You could say that,I prefer to say I'm calling him out. Kinda like gunslingers in the Old West,but instead of finding out who's faster we're gonna find out who's bigger and badder. And it all starts at TNF this week Krenshov I'm coming for you,Big Man,we gave everyone a little preview during the battle royale and this week we'll wet the fans' appetites just that much more until NAPW has to make this match.
JOSH:But what about your other opponents,The Midnight Cowboys and Jay O'Brien? They might have something to say about you getting your hands on Krenshov.
MATTHEW:Do you really think that Clint Zellor and his brother "Dickless" Stone Zellor could stop me? I mean it seems that Clint forgot I was even in the match,he something to say about Lyndsey and The Foundation but not me. So Clint if you did forget I was in the match,trust me Son,it's a mistake you'll live to regret.Because I'll stick his big size 18 boot in face as I hit you with an Yakuza Kick. Stone did you get your feelings hurt little boy? At least I think your a boy,but if the rumor's true there's some question. Anyway,Stone stay out of the way so you don't get hurt boy,because if you try stop me I'll break your toothpick looking ass in half.
JOSH:What about Krenshov's Untouchables partner,Jay O'Brien?
MATTHEW:Oh yeah the man who after winning four...count them four... matches in a row started acting like he was the second coming of Ric Flair?
Wait didn't he get beat the very next week and then wasn't he eliminated from the battle royal last week by one person?After the last two weeks it looks fitting that his initials are J.O.B. because he's nothing but a glorified jabroni.I used to think that Chris Casino have a plan but after recruiting O'Brien for the Untouchables I ain't so sure.Maybe it's kinda like back in high school when the average looking girls would hangout with the ugly ones to make themselves look better,maybe that's O'Brien's role in the Untouchables. I have every confidence that my partners can keep these idiots out of the way of me and "Big Kenny".
JOSH:Well speaking of your tag team partners ,The Foundation, they were the ones that eliminated you from the Battle Royale last week. Also let's not forget that right at the first of the year and up through Cold Snap that Team Kurtis and Nightmare feuded with The Foundation and Jeff James. So basically what I'm asking is can you trust Prince Darko and Thomas Young?
MATTHEW:Sure I can trust them,last week's match was a battle royale they didn't do anything to me,that I wouldn't have done to them if given the chance. As far as the feud we had goes well that's the past and we've moved beyond that we all have other goals right now and fighting each other won't accomplish a Damned thing.And there's another older truth that covers this partnership too,well it's a saying really..."The enemy of my enemy is my friend." Are Darko,Thomas,and me ever going to be drinking buddies? Probably not but at least for this week we have the same goals and that's to beat the Shit out of the Untouchables and The Midnight Cowboys. So that's why I know I can trust them.
JOSH:So anything else you would like to say?
MATTHEW:Just one thing NAPW/REBEL beware because the Monster is loose!
(((With that Matthew pushes Josh out of the way and walks off.)))