Post by Lyndsey Valentine on Mar 9, 2007 12:28:45 GMT -5
(((Meagan Adams catches up to Lyndsey Valentine coming out of a local Edmonton clothing store and starts asking questions...)))
MEAGAN:Lyndsey you promised to shut Lex Vain up once and for all,you kept your promise at what appears to be the final Action!.Last week you also substituted for an injured Chad Kurtis in the tag team Battle Royal even eliminating Jay O'Brien of the Untouchables before being tossed out yourself. It would seem that "Girl-Power" is alive and well in NAPW.
LYNDSEY(angrily):"Girl-Power"? What is this 1997? do I look like one of the Spice Girls? I mean I've heard that phase being tossing about alot in the last week,everyone thinks I'm climbing into the ring to promote equality of sexes or for some other high moral purpose. I've gotten e-mails from feminist leaders thanking me for doing it, I mean Hell I expect to hear from Alan Alda any day now. But sorry to disappoint all those people,my wanting to compete is just,a desire to compete and I ain't trying to make some big political statement.So don't try to blow any sunshine up my ass,if you want to talk about my upcoming match we'll talk,but if try to treat me like the second coming of Susan B. Anthony...I've better things to do.
MEAGAN(Visibly taken back):Yes....well...um,two of your opponents this week,Jay O'Brien and Stone Zellor,have already spoken about the upcoming match and specifically you at length. What is your response to them?
LYNDSEY: First of all Jay Jay's little day-in-life promo pissed me off. Well not the whole thing just the part where he felt he had to apologize to Krenshov for being eliminated by me or as he put by "a woman". Would he be apologizing if he was eliminated by man my size? I mean is it my gender that bothers him or my weight class? So I drop-kicked him over the top rope and then he runs to Krenshov begging "Kenny please save me from the mean girl". Jay Jay I know you want to play it off as luck or as a fluke that I put out,but I ain't just some model or teeny-bopper that climbed into the ring to capture a certain demographic,I am a wrestler. Go look at the NAPW or REBEL rosters and you'll notice that I ain't listed as an NAPW Diva or as a REBEL Vixen I'm listed on the roster with everyone else. It bothers you to think of me as woman? Then fine don't just think of me as a woman think of me as a feisty cruiser-weight,lightweight or whatever you want to call the weight class I'd be in. Because you think being eliminated from a battle royal by me was embarrassing wait until TNF and see what happens to you.
MEAGAN:What about Stone Zellor comments that you attempted to low blow him to basically cop a feel?
LYNDSEY(faking embarrassment):Well,I kinda hate to admit it but he was right. I was trying to grab his junk.
MEAGAN(shocked):What?
LYNDSEY: Yeah you see I heard a rumor that he had a one inch penis,it grows up to three inches when he's excited,and I never heard of a grown man having one that small and I just had to check it out.I mean I'm only used to good sized ones,Matthew wears a size 18 shoe,if know what I'm getting at Meagan. I know Stoney will say "it's ain't the size of the boat it's the motion of the ocean". That may be true but it times a very long time to get to England in an inner-tube. I mean,I'll be honest I forgot about his metal codpiece,but now I know he wears to compensate for and to hide his shame.
MEAGAN(Blushing and trying not to laugh):He also had some directed at you about tag team wrestling and a few aimed at Matthew Kurtis any response to them?
LYNDSEY:Well as it applies to Matt I'll let my boyfriend defend himself. So Stoney tag team wrestling is more than getting in a few forearm shots and then tagging in my boyfriend,huh? Funny, don't remember tagging out during the match on TNF last week oh wait I didn't it was a battle royal nobody had to tag in or out. Actually I do believe the whole idea of Tag Team is to get in the match hit some offense and tag your partner in and keep doing this until your opponents are worn down and defeated,ain't that the way tag team wrestling is supposed to work? But don't worry I'm provide more offense than a few forearms and quick tag to Matt. Maybe I'll kick your teeth down your throat for you. I'll hit hit you with some offense you'll be begging me to tag Matt in,is that what you want numb nuts? Come TNF this week everyone will see what I can really do in a wrestling ring against some real competition.
MEAGAN:Thank you for time Lyndsey and good luck at TNF.
LYNDSEY: Who needs luck I'm part of Team Kurtis
(((Lyndsey tosses her shopping bag in her car and drives off as the scene fades.)))
MEAGAN:Lyndsey you promised to shut Lex Vain up once and for all,you kept your promise at what appears to be the final Action!.Last week you also substituted for an injured Chad Kurtis in the tag team Battle Royal even eliminating Jay O'Brien of the Untouchables before being tossed out yourself. It would seem that "Girl-Power" is alive and well in NAPW.
LYNDSEY(angrily):"Girl-Power"? What is this 1997? do I look like one of the Spice Girls? I mean I've heard that phase being tossing about alot in the last week,everyone thinks I'm climbing into the ring to promote equality of sexes or for some other high moral purpose. I've gotten e-mails from feminist leaders thanking me for doing it, I mean Hell I expect to hear from Alan Alda any day now. But sorry to disappoint all those people,my wanting to compete is just,a desire to compete and I ain't trying to make some big political statement.So don't try to blow any sunshine up my ass,if you want to talk about my upcoming match we'll talk,but if try to treat me like the second coming of Susan B. Anthony...I've better things to do.
MEAGAN(Visibly taken back):Yes....well...um,two of your opponents this week,Jay O'Brien and Stone Zellor,have already spoken about the upcoming match and specifically you at length. What is your response to them?
LYNDSEY: First of all Jay Jay's little day-in-life promo pissed me off. Well not the whole thing just the part where he felt he had to apologize to Krenshov for being eliminated by me or as he put by "a woman". Would he be apologizing if he was eliminated by man my size? I mean is it my gender that bothers him or my weight class? So I drop-kicked him over the top rope and then he runs to Krenshov begging "Kenny please save me from the mean girl". Jay Jay I know you want to play it off as luck or as a fluke that I put out,but I ain't just some model or teeny-bopper that climbed into the ring to capture a certain demographic,I am a wrestler. Go look at the NAPW or REBEL rosters and you'll notice that I ain't listed as an NAPW Diva or as a REBEL Vixen I'm listed on the roster with everyone else. It bothers you to think of me as woman? Then fine don't just think of me as a woman think of me as a feisty cruiser-weight,lightweight or whatever you want to call the weight class I'd be in. Because you think being eliminated from a battle royal by me was embarrassing wait until TNF and see what happens to you.
MEAGAN:What about Stone Zellor comments that you attempted to low blow him to basically cop a feel?
LYNDSEY(faking embarrassment):Well,I kinda hate to admit it but he was right. I was trying to grab his junk.
MEAGAN(shocked):What?
LYNDSEY: Yeah you see I heard a rumor that he had a one inch penis,it grows up to three inches when he's excited,and I never heard of a grown man having one that small and I just had to check it out.I mean I'm only used to good sized ones,Matthew wears a size 18 shoe,if know what I'm getting at Meagan. I know Stoney will say "it's ain't the size of the boat it's the motion of the ocean". That may be true but it times a very long time to get to England in an inner-tube. I mean,I'll be honest I forgot about his metal codpiece,but now I know he wears to compensate for and to hide his shame.
MEAGAN(Blushing and trying not to laugh):He also had some directed at you about tag team wrestling and a few aimed at Matthew Kurtis any response to them?
LYNDSEY:Well as it applies to Matt I'll let my boyfriend defend himself. So Stoney tag team wrestling is more than getting in a few forearm shots and then tagging in my boyfriend,huh? Funny, don't remember tagging out during the match on TNF last week oh wait I didn't it was a battle royal nobody had to tag in or out. Actually I do believe the whole idea of Tag Team is to get in the match hit some offense and tag your partner in and keep doing this until your opponents are worn down and defeated,ain't that the way tag team wrestling is supposed to work? But don't worry I'm provide more offense than a few forearms and quick tag to Matt. Maybe I'll kick your teeth down your throat for you. I'll hit hit you with some offense you'll be begging me to tag Matt in,is that what you want numb nuts? Come TNF this week everyone will see what I can really do in a wrestling ring against some real competition.
MEAGAN:Thank you for time Lyndsey and good luck at TNF.
LYNDSEY: Who needs luck I'm part of Team Kurtis
(((Lyndsey tosses her shopping bag in her car and drives off as the scene fades.)))