Post by Stone Zellor on Mar 8, 2007 10:03:45 GMT -5
[The scene opens with a basic NAPW banner hanging across a wall. "New Alberta Pro Wrestling" written underneath the initials in red spray paint - so it's not a 'basic' banner. It's homemade. You've got to make yourself at home some times. Anyhow, Stone Zellor walks on from the right hand side, admiring the banner as he goes. He takes a few steps back - walking into the camera, but Stone manages to catch it before it falls due to his cat like reflexes. That and he has practice being a clumsy bastard. It takes a few moments but the camera is restored as Stone stands proudly in a black 'NAPW' tee - from the merchandise stand - and some jeans]
Stone:
One night, four eliminations - 'cause I'm counting you Krenshov. Along with that frisky little slut, Lyndsey Valentine. And those freakin' idiots, Jeff James and Dio Muerte. I did it! I eliminated every single one of you, just like I said I would. 'Cause The Midnight Cowboys deserve that title shot an' on the twenty eighth, we're gettin' it ... Along with Next generation and The Untouchables...
[Stone sighs]
Stone:
But I guess I need to 'mask' my 'contempt'...
[He says motioning the inverted commas with his fingers]
Stone:
For you guys for one week at least. I mean, me and' Clint, we could take those four guys - The Foundation, Lyndsey Valentine and Matthew Kurtis - on our own, but we gets lumbered wit' you guys ... If you're still able to walk after Sakai took you out, big man!
In terms that the Canucks can understand, he was like a lumberjack choppin' down the mighty redwood. And this is one of the guys you're up against at Sole Survivor.
[Pause]
Stone:
I've gots to stop taunting you. 'Cause this week, all of our attentions should be focused on The Foundation, Matty Kurtis and Miss Valentine.
And, ladies first. Lyndsey. You've been a busy little girl lately, as always I suspect. A battle royal and going up against Lex Vain, which while it ain't difficult to do, takes time .. But c'mon, do you really have what it takes to actually wrestle a match? I ain't talkin' a few forearm shots and taggin' out to your boyfriend. I'm not talkin' 'bout fightin' Lex Vain. And I ain't talkin' 'bout low-blowin' me!
Balls of steel, baby. Balls of steel.
Nah, I'm talkin' 'bout going toe-to-toe with one of the four people on the other team. Without trying to cop a feel, an' don't you act like that's not what you were doin', 'cause what woman can resist me? No-one! And, hell, I don't want to hit a woman - so I'll do you a favour and let one of my team mates go up against you. Like Clint, or Kenny.
[He smiles before continuing]
Matty. Firstly, man, congratulations on gettin' on the radar of someone who actually matters 'round here. Secondly, how does it feel to get tossed out of the ring by Prince Darko and Thomas Young?
[Pause]
Sting a little bit? How are you feeling? Embarrassed? Humiliated? Upset?
[Another pause as Stone pulls out a pocket thesaurus from his back pocket]
Uncomfortable? Abashed? Chagrined? Put out of countenance? Man, I eliminated four people on Tuesday night. Me and Clint, we're former and future NAPW Tag Team champs, and we're stuck in a match against the likes of you - and The Foundation, again. Hell, they're so dumb, they trusted me after I eliminated Jeff James! That's the level of intelligence and talent you're teamin' wit', man. That's the level of talent and intelligence I'm goin' up against. With Clint and The Untouchables by my side ... This ain't even gonna be fun. This will be an annihilation worthy of a Ridley Scott film ... Although that does mean I wouldn't watch it - so it's an annihilation worthy of a Kevin Smith film! With a cameo by Ben Affleck. That's how bad this will be for you guys.
[And the scene comes to an end with the traditional fade to black]
Stone:
One night, four eliminations - 'cause I'm counting you Krenshov. Along with that frisky little slut, Lyndsey Valentine. And those freakin' idiots, Jeff James and Dio Muerte. I did it! I eliminated every single one of you, just like I said I would. 'Cause The Midnight Cowboys deserve that title shot an' on the twenty eighth, we're gettin' it ... Along with Next generation and The Untouchables...
[Stone sighs]
Stone:
But I guess I need to 'mask' my 'contempt'...
[He says motioning the inverted commas with his fingers]
Stone:
For you guys for one week at least. I mean, me and' Clint, we could take those four guys - The Foundation, Lyndsey Valentine and Matthew Kurtis - on our own, but we gets lumbered wit' you guys ... If you're still able to walk after Sakai took you out, big man!
In terms that the Canucks can understand, he was like a lumberjack choppin' down the mighty redwood. And this is one of the guys you're up against at Sole Survivor.
[Pause]
Stone:
I've gots to stop taunting you. 'Cause this week, all of our attentions should be focused on The Foundation, Matty Kurtis and Miss Valentine.
And, ladies first. Lyndsey. You've been a busy little girl lately, as always I suspect. A battle royal and going up against Lex Vain, which while it ain't difficult to do, takes time .. But c'mon, do you really have what it takes to actually wrestle a match? I ain't talkin' a few forearm shots and taggin' out to your boyfriend. I'm not talkin' 'bout fightin' Lex Vain. And I ain't talkin' 'bout low-blowin' me!
Balls of steel, baby. Balls of steel.
Nah, I'm talkin' 'bout going toe-to-toe with one of the four people on the other team. Without trying to cop a feel, an' don't you act like that's not what you were doin', 'cause what woman can resist me? No-one! And, hell, I don't want to hit a woman - so I'll do you a favour and let one of my team mates go up against you. Like Clint, or Kenny.
[He smiles before continuing]
Matty. Firstly, man, congratulations on gettin' on the radar of someone who actually matters 'round here. Secondly, how does it feel to get tossed out of the ring by Prince Darko and Thomas Young?
[Pause]
Sting a little bit? How are you feeling? Embarrassed? Humiliated? Upset?
[Another pause as Stone pulls out a pocket thesaurus from his back pocket]
Uncomfortable? Abashed? Chagrined? Put out of countenance? Man, I eliminated four people on Tuesday night. Me and Clint, we're former and future NAPW Tag Team champs, and we're stuck in a match against the likes of you - and The Foundation, again. Hell, they're so dumb, they trusted me after I eliminated Jeff James! That's the level of intelligence and talent you're teamin' wit', man. That's the level of talent and intelligence I'm goin' up against. With Clint and The Untouchables by my side ... This ain't even gonna be fun. This will be an annihilation worthy of a Ridley Scott film ... Although that does mean I wouldn't watch it - so it's an annihilation worthy of a Kevin Smith film! With a cameo by Ben Affleck. That's how bad this will be for you guys.
[And the scene comes to an end with the traditional fade to black]