Post by Jay O'Brien on Feb 25, 2007 23:18:20 GMT -5
[Start.]
[We’re following... Andy?]
[“Awesome” Andy O’Brien, older brother of Jay O’Brien, strolling towards the door of the rented apartment they used to share in Edmonton, Alberta.]
[He knocks. Twice.]
[No answer.]
[He knocks a third time.]
[Still no answer.]
AOB: Damn it...
[And then, a thought... time to try his cell phone.]
[But hey, that was me thinking that, and not Andy. Apparently, it hasn't occured to him. Too bad.]
AOB: (to himself) Jay, where you at, bro?
[Down. I guess we ain’t seen the last of The Awesome One just yet...]
[Annnnnnnnnd we’re back.]
JOB: So the burning question. Why did Jay O’Brien join the Untouchables?
[Jay, grinning, the cat that got the cream.]
JOB: Well you know, when I was approached by the boys – big ol’ Kenny Krenshov, the Pure Honor Champion Chris Casino, the Provincial Champion “The Devastator” Kurt Castle, and Eli Potts... they asked me one question. Am I with them, or am I against them?
JOB: So do you see? The burning question – it’s not mine to answer. Why did Jay O’Brien join the Untouchables? Hell, Jay O’Brien didn’t have a choice.
[Jay continues to look smug. Cocky, in fact.]
JOB: There was no viable alternative. Either Jay O’Brien joined the most dominant force in professional wrestling today, or Jay O’Brien stood against them. Jay O’Brien fought against them. Jay O’Brien fell to them.
[Jay laughs.]
JOB: Jay O’Brien, ladies and gentlemen, isn’t so stupid that he thinks he could possibly ever win that fight. But hey, I’m not claiming those boys held a gun to my head, either. They didn’t need to. My arm was already twisted, and I was the one that was doing it. I said from day one that I’m an ambitious man. I came to Canada – I came to New Alberta Pro, for one reason. I came here because I wanted to leave my mark on the wrestling world. I wanted to etch my name into the history of this great business. I wanted it engraved upon the NAPW titles. I wanted... everything. And the Untouchables? Like it or not - I couldn’t give a shit in all honesty - but they can provide that for me. My dreams? My ambitions? Oh, you’d better believe they’ll come to fruition now that I am – quite rightly – the newest member of the most complete faction in wrestling history. Now that I am not only the hottest newcomer these Canadian fans have ever seen, not only the only undefeated – yeah, you heard me, Rotten – wrestler here today, and hell, not only because I am, quite frankly, unbeatable... But because now I’m Un-freaking-touchable.
[Jay’s eyes are cool, confident. This is a man that knows his future is getting brighter by the day. Hell, by the hour – every single passing minute!]
JOB: And the first item on the agenda in this newest, greatest era in my career? The Famous Monsters of Hollyweird…
[Jay snorts in disgust.]
JOB: Now you know what the SECOND question on everybody’s mind is? – straight faces only, now please – guys... is this a joke? Because nobody’s laughing.
JOB: Frankie and Mikey? Their manager Wolfboy? And a whole cast of… ugh… ‘comic book’ monster characters. Hell, I must’ve missed the sign welcoming me to Cartoonland, but hey, I won’t be staying here too long. Tell Vince that he can stick his clown gimmick, but I’m going right back to Edmonton when I’m done...
[Jay, getting down to business…]
JOB: Listen up, boys. You know who I am, and... well... let’s not beat about the bush here – I know who you are, as well. The masks, the hair, the voices… the tell-tale signs... it’s all got to add up to this being the world’s worst kept secret, EVER – everybody and their mother knows that the Hollyweirdo’s are, in fact, the Celtic Assassins. And they’re disappointed about it, too, and you know why that might be? Let me tell you. Beyond the fact that there really can’t be any big pay offs to this ‘surprise’ return from suspension? Beyond the fact that the inevitable ‘unmasking’ will bring about as much shock, awe and surprise as my victory over Mr. Rotten at Cold Snap? Beyond it all being so damn predictable, and beyond the dull-as-dishwater build-up for the mundane ‘revelation’? The biggest disappointment? You STILL suck.
JOB: Hey, look, seriously, I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you, guys, but as the newest member of the Untouchables stable – nay, the Untouchables family – it’s my duty to let people know that from now on... when the Untouchables begin to take this place the hell over... people that suck... they won’t last.
JOB: Frankie... Mikey... come Tuesday Night... me and the unstoppable Colossus himself... we’re going to beat you up so bad your own mothers won’t even recognize you – even after I, personally, de-mask the two of you chumps. Yeah, you heard me. I’m going to make it my first act as an official member of the Untouchables to end this irritating façade, and show the world what it already knows.
JOB: Count on it. I’m ending this crap Tuesday.
[Fade out.]
[Back?]
“JAY!”
[Jay, outside, in the street. He turns. His brother, Andy, is chasing after him. Jay groans.]
AOB: Jay, wait up!
JOB: What the (BLEEP) do you want now, Andy?
AOB: (puffing) I... listen... I need a place to stay, man, and ---
JOB: We’ve been over this. There’s no chance, Andy. You screwed me over. You’re out of my life. For good. I don’t need it. I don’t need to be looking over my shoulder every damn day. Especially when it’s my brother there, trying to take my money from me before it’s even in my pocket. You let me down, Andy. You let me down.
[Andy looks down, his breathing heavy.]
AOB: Just listen to me... Jay, I can cut you a deal...
JOB: Cut me a deal, Andy? I don’t need anything from you.
AOB: Oh, but you do, Jay...
[Jay eyes Andy suspiciously.]
AOB: Eli called me... well, you... here.
[Andy hands Jay his cell phone. So that explains why Andy didn’t phone him earlier...]
JOB: Where the hell did you get this?!
AOB: Ah, I... it was... look, it’s not important – I know what you want, Jay.
JOB: (cynical) Yeah? And what’s that?
AOB: Citizenship...
[Jay stares at Andy.]
AOB: Sure, Jay. It makes sense. Like Eli said ---
JOB: Andy...
[Jay is staring his brother in the eye.]
JOB: I’m done with you.
[Jay turns. And walks. But Andy, he’s got something else up his sleeve. Or more accurately, hidden in his jacket.]
AOB: You know what this is, Jay?
[Jay glances over his shoulder. He stops.]
JOB: No, what?
AOB: Your key!
[Well it’s clearly NOT a key. It’s a document.]
AOB: It’s your key to becoming a naturalized American!
JOB: American?
AOB: Well sure. My old apartment in New York? It was bought in our father’s name.
JOB: So?
AOB: Soooo, you need to have lived in the States for five years to be gain citizenship. This, Jay, says that you have.
JOB: But I haven’t.
AOB: They won’t know that! You just fill a few forms in... err, creatively, and you’re a shoe in!
[Jay shuts his eyes, tired.]
JOB: What do you want from me?
[And Andy grins, wide.]
AOB: I want to stay here!
[Out.]
[We’re following... Andy?]
[“Awesome” Andy O’Brien, older brother of Jay O’Brien, strolling towards the door of the rented apartment they used to share in Edmonton, Alberta.]
[He knocks. Twice.]
[No answer.]
[He knocks a third time.]
[Still no answer.]
AOB: Damn it...
[And then, a thought... time to try his cell phone.]
[But hey, that was me thinking that, and not Andy. Apparently, it hasn't occured to him. Too bad.]
AOB: (to himself) Jay, where you at, bro?
[Down. I guess we ain’t seen the last of The Awesome One just yet...]
[Annnnnnnnnd we’re back.]
JOB: So the burning question. Why did Jay O’Brien join the Untouchables?
[Jay, grinning, the cat that got the cream.]
JOB: Well you know, when I was approached by the boys – big ol’ Kenny Krenshov, the Pure Honor Champion Chris Casino, the Provincial Champion “The Devastator” Kurt Castle, and Eli Potts... they asked me one question. Am I with them, or am I against them?
JOB: So do you see? The burning question – it’s not mine to answer. Why did Jay O’Brien join the Untouchables? Hell, Jay O’Brien didn’t have a choice.
[Jay continues to look smug. Cocky, in fact.]
JOB: There was no viable alternative. Either Jay O’Brien joined the most dominant force in professional wrestling today, or Jay O’Brien stood against them. Jay O’Brien fought against them. Jay O’Brien fell to them.
[Jay laughs.]
JOB: Jay O’Brien, ladies and gentlemen, isn’t so stupid that he thinks he could possibly ever win that fight. But hey, I’m not claiming those boys held a gun to my head, either. They didn’t need to. My arm was already twisted, and I was the one that was doing it. I said from day one that I’m an ambitious man. I came to Canada – I came to New Alberta Pro, for one reason. I came here because I wanted to leave my mark on the wrestling world. I wanted to etch my name into the history of this great business. I wanted it engraved upon the NAPW titles. I wanted... everything. And the Untouchables? Like it or not - I couldn’t give a shit in all honesty - but they can provide that for me. My dreams? My ambitions? Oh, you’d better believe they’ll come to fruition now that I am – quite rightly – the newest member of the most complete faction in wrestling history. Now that I am not only the hottest newcomer these Canadian fans have ever seen, not only the only undefeated – yeah, you heard me, Rotten – wrestler here today, and hell, not only because I am, quite frankly, unbeatable... But because now I’m Un-freaking-touchable.
[Jay’s eyes are cool, confident. This is a man that knows his future is getting brighter by the day. Hell, by the hour – every single passing minute!]
JOB: And the first item on the agenda in this newest, greatest era in my career? The Famous Monsters of Hollyweird…
[Jay snorts in disgust.]
JOB: Now you know what the SECOND question on everybody’s mind is? – straight faces only, now please – guys... is this a joke? Because nobody’s laughing.
JOB: Frankie and Mikey? Their manager Wolfboy? And a whole cast of… ugh… ‘comic book’ monster characters. Hell, I must’ve missed the sign welcoming me to Cartoonland, but hey, I won’t be staying here too long. Tell Vince that he can stick his clown gimmick, but I’m going right back to Edmonton when I’m done...
[Jay, getting down to business…]
JOB: Listen up, boys. You know who I am, and... well... let’s not beat about the bush here – I know who you are, as well. The masks, the hair, the voices… the tell-tale signs... it’s all got to add up to this being the world’s worst kept secret, EVER – everybody and their mother knows that the Hollyweirdo’s are, in fact, the Celtic Assassins. And they’re disappointed about it, too, and you know why that might be? Let me tell you. Beyond the fact that there really can’t be any big pay offs to this ‘surprise’ return from suspension? Beyond the fact that the inevitable ‘unmasking’ will bring about as much shock, awe and surprise as my victory over Mr. Rotten at Cold Snap? Beyond it all being so damn predictable, and beyond the dull-as-dishwater build-up for the mundane ‘revelation’? The biggest disappointment? You STILL suck.
JOB: Hey, look, seriously, I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you, guys, but as the newest member of the Untouchables stable – nay, the Untouchables family – it’s my duty to let people know that from now on... when the Untouchables begin to take this place the hell over... people that suck... they won’t last.
JOB: Frankie... Mikey... come Tuesday Night... me and the unstoppable Colossus himself... we’re going to beat you up so bad your own mothers won’t even recognize you – even after I, personally, de-mask the two of you chumps. Yeah, you heard me. I’m going to make it my first act as an official member of the Untouchables to end this irritating façade, and show the world what it already knows.
JOB: Count on it. I’m ending this crap Tuesday.
[Fade out.]
[Back?]
“JAY!”
[Jay, outside, in the street. He turns. His brother, Andy, is chasing after him. Jay groans.]
AOB: Jay, wait up!
JOB: What the (BLEEP) do you want now, Andy?
AOB: (puffing) I... listen... I need a place to stay, man, and ---
JOB: We’ve been over this. There’s no chance, Andy. You screwed me over. You’re out of my life. For good. I don’t need it. I don’t need to be looking over my shoulder every damn day. Especially when it’s my brother there, trying to take my money from me before it’s even in my pocket. You let me down, Andy. You let me down.
[Andy looks down, his breathing heavy.]
AOB: Just listen to me... Jay, I can cut you a deal...
JOB: Cut me a deal, Andy? I don’t need anything from you.
AOB: Oh, but you do, Jay...
[Jay eyes Andy suspiciously.]
AOB: Eli called me... well, you... here.
[Andy hands Jay his cell phone. So that explains why Andy didn’t phone him earlier...]
JOB: Where the hell did you get this?!
AOB: Ah, I... it was... look, it’s not important – I know what you want, Jay.
JOB: (cynical) Yeah? And what’s that?
AOB: Citizenship...
[Jay stares at Andy.]
AOB: Sure, Jay. It makes sense. Like Eli said ---
JOB: Andy...
[Jay is staring his brother in the eye.]
JOB: I’m done with you.
[Jay turns. And walks. But Andy, he’s got something else up his sleeve. Or more accurately, hidden in his jacket.]
AOB: You know what this is, Jay?
[Jay glances over his shoulder. He stops.]
JOB: No, what?
AOB: Your key!
[Well it’s clearly NOT a key. It’s a document.]
AOB: It’s your key to becoming a naturalized American!
JOB: American?
AOB: Well sure. My old apartment in New York? It was bought in our father’s name.
JOB: So?
AOB: Soooo, you need to have lived in the States for five years to be gain citizenship. This, Jay, says that you have.
JOB: But I haven’t.
AOB: They won’t know that! You just fill a few forms in... err, creatively, and you’re a shoe in!
[Jay shuts his eyes, tired.]
JOB: What do you want from me?
[And Andy grins, wide.]
AOB: I want to stay here!
[Out.]