Post by D! on Dec 13, 2005 15:51:49 GMT -5
(Lights up. It's a close head-and-shoulders shot of D!, the background pulled out of focus.)
D!: Chris, I accept your apology, one-hundred percent. You've really shocked me, Chris! Here I thought that you were gonna try one of your schemes, or try to bad-mouth me and make me look foolish, but you really showed that you had class there, Vegas, and apologised to me in front of the World! And you even gave me an early Christmas present while you were at it!
I mean, first of all, you knew that I'd give you a one-on-one title shot before the Holidays, just so I could get you out of my hair, and, yes, spend Christmas with the NAPW title on my mantlepiece. And now you're telling me you'll do it? That's so sweet! You're adorable! Like a chick or something!
Secondly, now I know why you watched all of those tapes of me--to find out what I'd like! You probably heard me mention how much I love Old School stuff, and so you challenge me to a Steel Cage match--a NO ESCAPING Steel Cage match! Dude! Not only do I get to compete in the NAPW's first Steel Cage match, but you made it the good kind, too? SWEET! Dude, if you could acually paint the cage blue I'd be in heaven right now!
Because in a steel cage, Chris, your manager would be outside! Foreign objects would be outside! Run-ins would be outside! And the exit to the back would be--outside! And then I can beat you, no excuses, in front of hundreds of rabid NAPW fans that want to see you left in a crumpled heap! I can take out your legs, smear your face on the cage--maybe even get you to do that noise you make when I've locked Pleasant Cycling on you!
(Making a distorted painy-face.) Raaaaaauuu . . . Aaaaaaaaaoooooaaaa . . . Muuuuuuuu!
(Laughs.) Oh, man! That would be tops! If you're the Future, then that's the Sound of the Future! So let's do it! Let's close out NAPW for 2005, you and me, one-on-one, in a Steel Cage match, for the NAPW title! Now, I've said my peace, so what about you, my fellow Dirty Canadians?
(The camera zooms out all the way to reveal that D! is sitting in a crowded bar--a sorta-familiar-looking bar--with every patron looking directly at the camera.)
BAR PATRONS: (In unison.) SHOW UP ON TIME, PEANUT!
(Lights down.)
D!: Chris, I accept your apology, one-hundred percent. You've really shocked me, Chris! Here I thought that you were gonna try one of your schemes, or try to bad-mouth me and make me look foolish, but you really showed that you had class there, Vegas, and apologised to me in front of the World! And you even gave me an early Christmas present while you were at it!
I mean, first of all, you knew that I'd give you a one-on-one title shot before the Holidays, just so I could get you out of my hair, and, yes, spend Christmas with the NAPW title on my mantlepiece. And now you're telling me you'll do it? That's so sweet! You're adorable! Like a chick or something!
Secondly, now I know why you watched all of those tapes of me--to find out what I'd like! You probably heard me mention how much I love Old School stuff, and so you challenge me to a Steel Cage match--a NO ESCAPING Steel Cage match! Dude! Not only do I get to compete in the NAPW's first Steel Cage match, but you made it the good kind, too? SWEET! Dude, if you could acually paint the cage blue I'd be in heaven right now!
Because in a steel cage, Chris, your manager would be outside! Foreign objects would be outside! Run-ins would be outside! And the exit to the back would be--outside! And then I can beat you, no excuses, in front of hundreds of rabid NAPW fans that want to see you left in a crumpled heap! I can take out your legs, smear your face on the cage--maybe even get you to do that noise you make when I've locked Pleasant Cycling on you!
(Making a distorted painy-face.) Raaaaaauuu . . . Aaaaaaaaaoooooaaaa . . . Muuuuuuuu!
(Laughs.) Oh, man! That would be tops! If you're the Future, then that's the Sound of the Future! So let's do it! Let's close out NAPW for 2005, you and me, one-on-one, in a Steel Cage match, for the NAPW title! Now, I've said my peace, so what about you, my fellow Dirty Canadians?
(The camera zooms out all the way to reveal that D! is sitting in a crowded bar--a sorta-familiar-looking bar--with every patron looking directly at the camera.)
BAR PATRONS: (In unison.) SHOW UP ON TIME, PEANUT!
(Lights down.)