Post by "LDK" Lloyd Rees on Jan 27, 2007 12:51:02 GMT -5
~After a very successful couple nights out with some of Kamloops finest, if you know what I mean, we find “The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees and “Manager t’da Stars” Ol’Salty sitting down for breakfast in the dinning room of Mantles Restaurant of The Sun Peaks Resort. Both men seem to be feeling the affects from a slight hangover, but Rees, being the champion of men that he is, has a beer sitting at his side. Avoid hangovers, stay drunk! Lloyd looks up from his monster breakfast, looks into the camera, and to the absolute pleasure of one Chris Casino, starts to speak.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Fer a man d’hat doesn’t seem t’be t’worried about his position here in da NAPW, ya seem t’be a little shaken up over me words…“Oh Rees! You don’t hold a candle to Chris Casino, I’m the man here, nobody is better than me! I’ve done this and that, hell I even cried when Lloyd Rees got chosen over me to be in this week’s Main Event, and even though I tell everyone that it doesn’t scare me that Rees has me in his sights, I’m crapping in my pants as I speak.” Casino, if yer not concerned about “Da East Coast Sensation” d’hen why did ya have t’punish da entire NAPW, make’n us listen while ya talked on and on about how much “Da Lemondrop Kid” sucks?
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: You Casino are no better d’han any of da Larry’s I have taken care of in da past…Uzi, Stein, Rex Caliber, D!, and Patrick Bickle. All d’ese men though da exact same ting you do. “D’hat piece of s**t Newfie is a f**k’n joke!” Well, why don’t ya pick up da phone, call up every one of d’hose has-beens, and ask d’hem what d’hey tink of d’hat piece of s**t Newfie now!! I’m sure you’ll get a little different answer.
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Ya see Casino, yer right in say’n d’hat I haven’t held four different singles titles here in da NAPW and I haven’t beat “Big Bad” Chris Casino, but I’ve destroyed every one else d’hat has got in me way and will’n t’bet, and I know yer a gamble’n man, d’hat if…NO!! When, “Da Lemondrop Kid” and Chris Casino tangle in da middle of da squared circle your attitude will change just like all da so called “Superstars” befer ya…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Let’s go Salty! Talk’n about s**t made me lose me appetite…
~Lloyd pushes his breakfast away from him without finishing it but manages to finish his beer. Rees pulls two twenties out of his pocket and drops them on the table as him and Ol’Salty make their way into the hotel lobby. The evil Newfie duo is met, to their surprise, by a NAPW camera crew. Should they really be surprised? The NAPW Superstars are lucky they get a moment of silence. Without wasting a second, NAPW backstage interviewer, Bob, starts to speak.~
Bob: Mr. Rees I was just wondering if I could get a few minutes of your time? I know that you are a busy man, but if we could just get a few comments about the Main Event for Tuesday Night Fights where you will step into the ring with NAPW Champion, Evan Cartwright, the number one contender to that title, Ravager, and Canada Cup winner, Billy Kryenik in a Four Way Survival Match I would greatly appreciate it…Plus, an interview with a big star like you might boost me over that sniveling little Josh Reynolds…
Ol’Salty: Sounds like Bob here isn’t t’fancy on our little buddy Reynolds Lloyd. How about it, a few words fer da fella?
~Lloyd grabs the microphone from Bob.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Sure, I’m just glad I don’t have t’look Josh in da face t’day. What can I do fer ya Bob? Maybe I can tell ya a little about another Bob, one d’hat goes by da name of Ravager. How he somehow managed t’squirm his way t’da top of da ranks here in da NAPW and get a title shot at one of da biggest Pay-Per-Views of the year. Well, if ya ask me, it’s f**k’n bulls**t! I’ve been here fer at least eleven months and I ain’t dis Larry do a dame ting d’hat was somewhat impress’n t’me. D’hen, he’s got da nerve t’call out “Da East Coast Sensation”!! T’say I made mockery of da Provincial Title d’hat he made special?! Have ya been hide’n under a rock since February 27th, 2006 Ravager?! If anyone has made da NAPW Provincial special, it’s yers truly. Christ!! I held da dame ting three times and me third time I held it fer a record fifteen weeks; a record d’hat will never be broken while I’m still alive. So Ravager, why don’t ya just crawl back under d’hat very same rock, ferget about Larry Casino, ferget about Tuesday Night, and concentrate on yer once in a lifetime chance and yer opponent at Cold Snap…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Who, fer all we know, is laid up in a hospital die’n with da pneumonia right now! What da hell was dis f**k’n Larry tink’n? Better yet, what da hell is da NAPW tink’n let’n a mad man like Cartwright hold da title? He dame near lost da NAPW Championship gold down da Thompson with his little stunt and it obvious d’hat he can’t handle da pressure of be’n da top dog around d’ese parts…Christ!! We’re really build’n up t’quite da great Main Event fer Cold Snap. One Larry doesn’t know his a** from a hole in da ground and da other doesn’t know if he’s come’n or go’n…Evan here's me advice t'you. Why don’t ya just stay in da hospital, let da nurses give ya sponge bath, and let me worry about da match on Tuesday. Ya won’t be missed, not as long as “Da Lemondrop Kid” is in da ring the people will feel d’hey got their monies worth. Plus, da last ting I want is t’be responsible fer hurt’n yer frail body when yer locked in da Conception Bay Chinlock…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Now Bob, d’hats how ya conduct an interview…
Bob: But, I didn’t do anything! I just stood here while you talked!
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Perfect! Let’s go Salty…
~Lloyd hands the microphone back to Bob. Lloyd and Ol’Salty turn to leave Bob standing in the lobby alone, but after just a few steps Bob calls out.~
Bob: But what about the third competitor in the match, Billy Kryenik? You didn’t even mention his name…
~Lloyd turns, steps back toward Bob, and grabs the microphone for a second time.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Why should I waste me time and breathe on “Sick” Billy Kryenik? Hell! Since Billy won da Canada Cup we ain’t seen hide nor hair of d’hat b***h. I will’n t’bet Kryenik is out on da town somewhere in Windsor, Ontario drink’n a variety of liquids out of da Cup, we’ll be lucky t’see him dis Tuesday…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: So, just let me give ya a quick preview of what I see happen’n dis Tuesday. Both Evan and Billy are announced and neither one of d’hem can make it t’da ring. Evan is shiver’n from da pneumonia and Billy is t’wasted t’walk. Ravager makes it, cause d’hat is what he does…Someone up stairs fills in da miss’n holes with Casino and Beautiful t’da complete pleasure of me. Da crowd erupts as I make me entrance, I enter da ring, and as per usual, school everyone of d’hen in da art of professional wrestling. Ya know why Bob?!
Bob: Ummm…Because you are “the former NAPW Television Champion, the three time and longest reigning NAPW Provincial Champion in history, the two time NAPW Champion, the 2006 ENN 250 #1 wrestler, the technical terror, the top wrestler in the business today, the one and the only…LLOYD REES??”
~Lloyd and Ol’Salty looked at each other, surprised at how well Bob recited Lloyd’s signature rant. God knows everyone has heard it enough.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Now d’hat a b’y! Salty, remember dis kid…
~Lloyd hands the microphone back to Bob and the evil Newfie duo make their way down the hall. Bob turns to his camera crew and starts to speak.~
Bob: That Josh Reynolds might be an idiot, but he was certainly right about one thing...
Camera man: What’s that?
Bob: That Lloyd Rees is a real a**hole…
~Scene fades.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Fer a man d’hat doesn’t seem t’be t’worried about his position here in da NAPW, ya seem t’be a little shaken up over me words…“Oh Rees! You don’t hold a candle to Chris Casino, I’m the man here, nobody is better than me! I’ve done this and that, hell I even cried when Lloyd Rees got chosen over me to be in this week’s Main Event, and even though I tell everyone that it doesn’t scare me that Rees has me in his sights, I’m crapping in my pants as I speak.” Casino, if yer not concerned about “Da East Coast Sensation” d’hen why did ya have t’punish da entire NAPW, make’n us listen while ya talked on and on about how much “Da Lemondrop Kid” sucks?
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: You Casino are no better d’han any of da Larry’s I have taken care of in da past…Uzi, Stein, Rex Caliber, D!, and Patrick Bickle. All d’ese men though da exact same ting you do. “D’hat piece of s**t Newfie is a f**k’n joke!” Well, why don’t ya pick up da phone, call up every one of d’hose has-beens, and ask d’hem what d’hey tink of d’hat piece of s**t Newfie now!! I’m sure you’ll get a little different answer.
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Ya see Casino, yer right in say’n d’hat I haven’t held four different singles titles here in da NAPW and I haven’t beat “Big Bad” Chris Casino, but I’ve destroyed every one else d’hat has got in me way and will’n t’bet, and I know yer a gamble’n man, d’hat if…NO!! When, “Da Lemondrop Kid” and Chris Casino tangle in da middle of da squared circle your attitude will change just like all da so called “Superstars” befer ya…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Let’s go Salty! Talk’n about s**t made me lose me appetite…
~Lloyd pushes his breakfast away from him without finishing it but manages to finish his beer. Rees pulls two twenties out of his pocket and drops them on the table as him and Ol’Salty make their way into the hotel lobby. The evil Newfie duo is met, to their surprise, by a NAPW camera crew. Should they really be surprised? The NAPW Superstars are lucky they get a moment of silence. Without wasting a second, NAPW backstage interviewer, Bob, starts to speak.~
Bob: Mr. Rees I was just wondering if I could get a few minutes of your time? I know that you are a busy man, but if we could just get a few comments about the Main Event for Tuesday Night Fights where you will step into the ring with NAPW Champion, Evan Cartwright, the number one contender to that title, Ravager, and Canada Cup winner, Billy Kryenik in a Four Way Survival Match I would greatly appreciate it…Plus, an interview with a big star like you might boost me over that sniveling little Josh Reynolds…
Ol’Salty: Sounds like Bob here isn’t t’fancy on our little buddy Reynolds Lloyd. How about it, a few words fer da fella?
~Lloyd grabs the microphone from Bob.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Sure, I’m just glad I don’t have t’look Josh in da face t’day. What can I do fer ya Bob? Maybe I can tell ya a little about another Bob, one d’hat goes by da name of Ravager. How he somehow managed t’squirm his way t’da top of da ranks here in da NAPW and get a title shot at one of da biggest Pay-Per-Views of the year. Well, if ya ask me, it’s f**k’n bulls**t! I’ve been here fer at least eleven months and I ain’t dis Larry do a dame ting d’hat was somewhat impress’n t’me. D’hen, he’s got da nerve t’call out “Da East Coast Sensation”!! T’say I made mockery of da Provincial Title d’hat he made special?! Have ya been hide’n under a rock since February 27th, 2006 Ravager?! If anyone has made da NAPW Provincial special, it’s yers truly. Christ!! I held da dame ting three times and me third time I held it fer a record fifteen weeks; a record d’hat will never be broken while I’m still alive. So Ravager, why don’t ya just crawl back under d’hat very same rock, ferget about Larry Casino, ferget about Tuesday Night, and concentrate on yer once in a lifetime chance and yer opponent at Cold Snap…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Who, fer all we know, is laid up in a hospital die’n with da pneumonia right now! What da hell was dis f**k’n Larry tink’n? Better yet, what da hell is da NAPW tink’n let’n a mad man like Cartwright hold da title? He dame near lost da NAPW Championship gold down da Thompson with his little stunt and it obvious d’hat he can’t handle da pressure of be’n da top dog around d’ese parts…Christ!! We’re really build’n up t’quite da great Main Event fer Cold Snap. One Larry doesn’t know his a** from a hole in da ground and da other doesn’t know if he’s come’n or go’n…Evan here's me advice t'you. Why don’t ya just stay in da hospital, let da nurses give ya sponge bath, and let me worry about da match on Tuesday. Ya won’t be missed, not as long as “Da Lemondrop Kid” is in da ring the people will feel d’hey got their monies worth. Plus, da last ting I want is t’be responsible fer hurt’n yer frail body when yer locked in da Conception Bay Chinlock…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Now Bob, d’hats how ya conduct an interview…
Bob: But, I didn’t do anything! I just stood here while you talked!
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Perfect! Let’s go Salty…
~Lloyd hands the microphone back to Bob. Lloyd and Ol’Salty turn to leave Bob standing in the lobby alone, but after just a few steps Bob calls out.~
Bob: But what about the third competitor in the match, Billy Kryenik? You didn’t even mention his name…
~Lloyd turns, steps back toward Bob, and grabs the microphone for a second time.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Why should I waste me time and breathe on “Sick” Billy Kryenik? Hell! Since Billy won da Canada Cup we ain’t seen hide nor hair of d’hat b***h. I will’n t’bet Kryenik is out on da town somewhere in Windsor, Ontario drink’n a variety of liquids out of da Cup, we’ll be lucky t’see him dis Tuesday…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: So, just let me give ya a quick preview of what I see happen’n dis Tuesday. Both Evan and Billy are announced and neither one of d’hem can make it t’da ring. Evan is shiver’n from da pneumonia and Billy is t’wasted t’walk. Ravager makes it, cause d’hat is what he does…Someone up stairs fills in da miss’n holes with Casino and Beautiful t’da complete pleasure of me. Da crowd erupts as I make me entrance, I enter da ring, and as per usual, school everyone of d’hen in da art of professional wrestling. Ya know why Bob?!
Bob: Ummm…Because you are “the former NAPW Television Champion, the three time and longest reigning NAPW Provincial Champion in history, the two time NAPW Champion, the 2006 ENN 250 #1 wrestler, the technical terror, the top wrestler in the business today, the one and the only…LLOYD REES??”
~Lloyd and Ol’Salty looked at each other, surprised at how well Bob recited Lloyd’s signature rant. God knows everyone has heard it enough.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Now d’hat a b’y! Salty, remember dis kid…
~Lloyd hands the microphone back to Bob and the evil Newfie duo make their way down the hall. Bob turns to his camera crew and starts to speak.~
Bob: That Josh Reynolds might be an idiot, but he was certainly right about one thing...
Camera man: What’s that?
Bob: That Lloyd Rees is a real a**hole…
~Scene fades.~